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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 7 April 2018: OP, go to a doctor. Ask them the questions. Then learn from your mistakes.... (read in full...)
Is he telling the truth about the state of his marriage?
Q. I’m seeing a married man for a number of years. I am in no rush to spending my whole life with but I do love him, he says he is in a sexless marriage, that his wife has no sex drive yet iv seen photos of them with her arm around him yet he doesn’t ...
A. 3 April 2018: Think of his wife. Get rid of him. How can you trust him when he'll lie to his wife? You can't. Stop being selfish.... (read in full...)
I've found the love of my life in a chatroom in Poland and I'm planning to move there to be with her
Q. Last time I post on here, I had visited an escort. I had visit an escort only once and never again. I decided to get back into dating, but I had no success. One day I joined a chatroom and I happen to meet a Polish woman who lives in Poland over a ...
A. 3 April 2018: I hope she knows you were desperate enough to go to an escort for your first sexual experience. Your impatience and stubbornness is your main problem. If she isn't manipulating you, you'll probably show her your controlling side soon after movin... (read in full...)
I've found the love of my life in a chatroom in Poland and I'm planning to move there to be with her
Q. Last time I post on here, I had visited an escort. I had visit an escort only once and never again. I decided to get back into dating, but I had no success. One day I joined a chatroom and I happen to meet a Polish woman who lives in Poland over a ...
A. 3 April 2018: As someone from Europe - you are SO wrong. Most are NOT ready to marry at 20! Nobody is saying America is great either.
However, if you refuse to listen to SENSE, that's on you.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 2 April 2018: 1) Ignore the guy; it's manipulation, not genuine.
2) Don't date at work; if it ends, it's likely you'd need to move jobs. Not fun.
3) Slow down. Take time to be single.... (read in full...)
I've found the love of my life in a chatroom in Poland and I'm planning to move there to be with her
Q. Last time I post on here, I had visited an escort. I had visit an escort only once and never again. I decided to get back into dating, but I had no success. One day I joined a chatroom and I happen to meet a Polish woman who lives in Poland over a ...
A. 2 April 2018: She's more or less still a teenager. I'm her age and trust me on her head. She is not going to be the same person in 5 years, let alone when she's your age. You're done dating women, so you're going to date a foreign GIRL? Sure, "young woman" fits, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ridiculed me saying that I have small boobs and a big tummy!
Q. Dear cubid, The other day my bf of 2 years and i were video chating and i was wearing a tank top without a bra so he made a comment saying " ur boobs need serious help why doesn't the fat from ur stomach go up to ur boobs , just rotate the fat" ...
A. 2 April 2018: Dump him. He was just cruel - nothing funny about it.... (read in full...)
Why am I attracted to men like my father?
Q. [Mod note: two questions combined from same poster.] Should I date men that I don’t find physically attractive? I come from an arranged marriage - my parents both were set up by their parents and their still married - although not happy.. I apprec...
A. 2 April 2018: Honestly, life is too short to be with someone who doesn't make you happy.
Just don't date guys like your father. Who you date is a choice.... (read in full...)
I don’t want to deny him sex but how do I get my feelings across?
Q. I have been with my bf now for 3 months and although he is 12 years older he can be romantic. He is African american and I'm Canadian (when we are not making love). But he can be a bit of a control freak when it come to our love making. He says what ...
A. 1 April 2018: Also, get on birth control and ALWAYS use condoms. You don't know what STDs he may have or if he'll accidentally get you pregnant just because he doesn't want to use condoms! You can't trust him, OP, and you aren't making wise decisions. This ... (read in full...)
How do I react. He ignored me but is now dating my best friend
Q. If I met a guy in a club, asked him out, he gave me his number, I texted twice, he never responded. Months later I discover he is now having sex with my best friend. How should I react?...
A. 31 March 2018: I appreciate that you felt the need to ask, but you're in your 30s. He just wasn't interested in you. You never dated or fell in love. You shouldn't be hung up on him months later. How do you react? Well, the guy is a stranger, not an ex, so there's ... (read in full...)
It feels like shes using me. Is she?
Q. We're dating for a few months, I'm 31 she's 22 last night she asked me to pick her up at her house and I didn't want to because I just don't want to get out of my house and as she lives far away I'm not into it driving right now, just a lazy day, ...
A. 31 March 2018: Dude, grow up.
She's young. You're older. You should have more financial stability, but didn't offer to pay or help pay for the UBER. Your also felt too LAZY. You clearly don't fancy making much of an effort to see her.
I get it, you do it th... (read in full...)
I don’t want to deny him sex but how do I get my feelings across?
Q. I have been with my bf now for 3 months and although he is 12 years older he can be romantic. He is African american and I'm Canadian (when we are not making love). But he can be a bit of a control freak when it come to our love making. He says what ...
A. 31 March 2018: Forgot to add:
- you're not a freak
- this is sex, not making love
- it's too early for love
- he sees this as sex for him, not sex for both of you
- not all men are "sexed up", most are happy to compromise and meet your desires too ... (read in full...)
I don’t want to deny him sex but how do I get my feelings across?
Q. I have been with my bf now for 3 months and although he is 12 years older he can be romantic. He is African american and I'm Canadian (when we are not making love). But he can be a bit of a control freak when it come to our love making. He says what ...
A. 31 March 2018: OP, you're not going to like what I'm going to say, but please listen.
It could be his age. He's controlling and has convinced you he "needs" things, but he doesn't. You also don't say what YOU want because you don't want to upset him. You shou... (read in full...)
I’m not over my ex, in a new relationship but feel numb, what do I do?
Q. Hiya I was with my ex boyfriend over 2 year we split up 6 years ago and I still can’t get over him I was completely in love with him but I was young and didn’t know how to express it he was 8 years older than me I was 26 he was 32 he didn’t treat me ...
A. 29 March 2018: You need to break up with this guy and get therapy to find out why you haven't moved on in 6 years.
The guy was your first serious relationship, presumably, but he's probably moved on and you should have too. You've been hung up on him for thre... (read in full...)
Do gay guys like men who are on the down low?
Q. Do gay guys, have fwb,with guys who, have girlfriends, do they like having guys like that. Cause am thinking about asking a gay guy I know, if he would like taking my virginity, I have fantasies, about having sex with him, all the time, when I do ...
A. 29 March 2018: OP, act your age and be a decent human being. Leave your girlfriend. You're gay and now is the time to accept it, rather than look for a way to cheat on an innocent woman who trusts you.
No, most people (women, men, gay, straight, bi, etc.) do... (read in full...)
Anyone have friends or family who knew of your partners affair and DIDN'T tell you?
Q. Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years, only couple of days ago she dropped a bomb shell on me saying she’s been cheating on me with my best friend, my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this. We met in 2008 till now we still ...
A. 29 March 2018: OP, I'm a feminist and I've supported you. Don't blame feminism. Not only that, but I've yet to see this anon message that has bothered you....
Just be direct with the friend, then block them.... (read in full...)
Should I accept a screen role with nudity?
Q. Hi uncle and aunties. I need some advice. I am an aspiring actress who is still in the middle of completing my bachelors degree at uni. I have done occasional work in TV commercials when I was a child growing up in my home country. I have also acted ...
A. 29 March 2018: I'm with CW, more experienced actresses turning it down because of the nudity suggests it's nudity for the sake of, not to benefit the story. If 50 - 75% is nudity, then your character is there for eye candy, not talent or depth. Nudity isn't needed ... (read in full...)
Anyone have friends or family who knew of your partners affair and DIDN'T tell you?
Q. Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years, only couple of days ago she dropped a bomb shell on me saying she’s been cheating on me with my best friend, my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this. We met in 2008 till now we still ...
A. 29 March 2018: There are times when I'd suggest discussing whether you could move past this with couples' counselling. This, however, was five of seven years. I don't think you can get past that and I don't think she deserves it. You need to be with someone who ... (read in full...)
We're almost breaking up over the question of having kids in the future but am I being irrational?
Q. Sorry this is rather long... I started dating a man 10 years older than me last year. We are serious going now and eventually the subject of children had to come up and it did. Before, it was something that was mentioned by both and brushed of...
A. 29 March 2018: OP, let me give you the situation my cousin is in, right now. It's similar, except she knows she wants children soon. My cousin and her boyfriend have been together for about 7 years. He hasn't proposed yet and has shown no signs of doing it. He ... (read in full...)
Should I accept a screen role with nudity?
Q. Hi uncle and aunties. I need some advice. I am an aspiring actress who is still in the middle of completing my bachelors degree at uni. I have done occasional work in TV commercials when I was a child growing up in my home country. I have also acted ...
A. 29 March 2018: Okay, so: 1) Congrats on being offered it 2) It is a great opportunity, but it's a huge risk 3) Nude scenes should be important to the film or it does make you look like you're just a sexy body for the sake of it, with little acting tale... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 28 March 2018: Be honest with yourself, OP - you were kind of heartless too because you didn't care about how his girlfriend would feel. You can't put all of this on him being a jerk. He's an idiot and a cheater. You don't really want him and, had he offered t... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 27 March 2018: Okay, let's break this down.
1) Yes, you are partly to blame.
2) No, you are not a PoS.
3) You would never be his "one and only" because he will be a cheat until he grows up.
4) Cutting him off completely and not letting him visit you is... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to not be friends with my ex because he’s re-established contact with the woman he was hitting on behind my back?
Q. My ex and I broke up about two months ago because he's moving away. Now, in the beginning of us dating and getting to know each other we had an issue with him talking to and hitting on this one girl behind my back. I ended it with him when I found ...
A. 27 March 2018: OP, the only time exes can be friends is when there are no romantic/sexual feelings left. You feeling betrayed is because you're not over it yet and that's understandable.
He's not yours. You're not his. If you feel uncomfortable, it's time to ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to not be friends with my ex because he’s re-established contact with the woman he was hitting on behind my back?
Q. My ex and I broke up about two months ago because he's moving away. Now, in the beginning of us dating and getting to know each other we had an issue with him talking to and hitting on this one girl behind my back. I ended it with him when I found ...
A. 27 March 2018: You're not doing aging anymore. He can have both of you as friends. I'm not surprised you're uncomfortable with it, but you're supposed to be just friends from now on. That means you have to accept him being friends with whoever.
You don't ow... (read in full...)
I feel a lightning bolt of attraction but he's 30 years older and married
Q. I’ve met a coworker who I have intense physical chemistry with, and I mean we both just vibrate around each other. His hands shake and I feel electricity all through my body just walking past him or making small talk. He feels we must be some sort ...
A. 26 March 2018: First of all, end your relationship. You know it's not going anywhere, so let each other go now. No point dragging it out.
As for the married guy, get over it. We all make choices. It's a CHOICE to act on attraction. "I am afraid if we are ever... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 25 March 2018: OP, I'm happy for you to message me. I was bullied my whole school life and have only one friend (my ex). Luckily, my ex isn't toxic for me. This guy is completely toxic for you.
You've made terrible decisions that you will regret when the crus... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 25 March 2018: OP, when did you last have sex with him? Did you use condoms for oral and vaginal sex? You know he's had sex with at least one other girl - his girlfriend. Chances are, he's had sex with more than that. Probably unprotected because "condoms... (read in full...)
Is it too late to start a relationship at 30, having never dated?
Q. Hello, I'm a 31-year old guy with a question that's been plaguing my mind recently. I can't help but wonder if it's too late at my age to date or have a relationship if I've never done either before. I've never been in a relationship or ...
A. 25 March 2018: OP, I get why you're worried, but you need to get professional help first.
You need to learn how to cope and move forward with the anxiety and depression. Until you do that, you'll be stuck in a rut with the rest of your life too. There's no point... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 25 March 2018: Bloody hell, OP. You know he's a liar. You know he's full of crap; "fine being cheated on", what a load of BS! Why are you still interested? Why did you let him anywhere near you, especially being your first sexual experience? What a silly choice. ... (read in full...)
I'm 25 my girlfriend is 67, its time we went public with the Age Gap.
Q. This question is about being true to myself in front of my family and friends. I seem like a normal 25 year old guy. I graduated from college 3 years ago. I have a good job. I don't smoke. Don't drink. I go to church when I can. On occasion, I date ...
A. 25 March 2018: Just don't make any long term commitments. She's not a healthy person and she's older. It won't be long before you'd become her carer and feel guilty for leaving. As I said, I'm a carer and it's tough. It's often very physical, some have to quit ... (read in full...)
With all the blocking and unblocking on social media, I don't even know what to expect anymore
Q. So I've been seeing a guy for about three months now. The relationship was wonderful. We were both falling in love and had so much fun together. We met each other's friends and family and seen each other just about every day. A week ago we got into ...
A. 23 March 2018: Neither of you are ready for a relationship. This shouldn't happen in a year or more, let alone 3 months. It's childish and so is thinking you're falling in love so soon.
Have a proper discussion, IN PERSON and figure out what's next. No more blo... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend is too promiscuous to me. Break up?
Q. Dating for a few months I'm 30 she's 22, yesterday I found out a lot of pictures of her with her ex on her facebook from a few years ago. I asked her why she keeps them and she said she forgot to delete and that doesn't make any sense since they're ...
A. 23 March 2018: Break up because YOU are the problem. You don't deserve ANY woman until you learn RESPECT. Women can dress how they want - it does NOT make them "slutty" or promiscuous.... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair and now I can't sleep with him
Q. MOD NOTE: two questions combined into one Hi everyone. I've been married for nearly 6 years. We have a three year old son. Last year my husband and I had some issues where I focussed too much on one my hobbies and spent less time with him. He t...
A. 21 March 2018: Anezka, the objectification is not about him talking dirty; it's about him making sexual comments and groping her when she's made it clear that she doesn't like it. That's objectifying her. It's putting his sexual view of her before treating her ... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair and now I can't sleep with him
Q. MOD NOTE: two questions combined into one Hi everyone. I've been married for nearly 6 years. We have a three year old son. Last year my husband and I had some issues where I focussed too much on one my hobbies and spent less time with him. He t...
A. 21 March 2018: You need marriage counselling, OP. You can't improve this on your own and, unfortunately, divorce seems inevitable. He objectifies you and refuses to care that you hate it. You need professional help, but it's likely you won't be able to move... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed, every guy I like my best friend gets!
Q. Why do I feel so pointless? How come no guy ever likes me? So these questions started to arise after this guy who I liked who I told many time asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no and asked why do you care and he said I’m jw I don’t like u ...
A. 21 March 2018: OP, saying "no boyfriend, why do you care?" is rude and confrontational. Most guys will find that off-putting.
OP, your friend can't "steal" the interest of anyone who isn't already interested in her. If you have an attitude, even subconsc... (read in full...)
The only time my girlfriend has orgasmed was with an ex boyfriend.
Q. We're together for a few months, our sex is great but she can't orgasm with me. I asked her why and she said she can't orgasm and that she had just one orgasm in life once with other guy in the past. I'm very jealous and insecure about that and d...
A. 20 March 2018: Let her go. She'll find a man who thinks with his head, not his penis.
Seriously, OP: "I love her so much, but I don't want to date her anymore".... all because YOU aren't giving her an orgasm. It's YOUR problem, not hers.
Do research about w... (read in full...)
I'm 25 my girlfriend is 67, its time we went public with the Age Gap.
Q. This question is about being true to myself in front of my family and friends. I seem like a normal 25 year old guy. I graduated from college 3 years ago. I have a good job. I don't smoke. Don't drink. I go to church when I can. On occasion, I date ...
A. 20 March 2018: It's good to see your reply. She's set rules like a grandmother and you've followed them like a grandchild. I hope you see how unhealthy that is. She's also using your young age as a way to get what she wants.
99% of women her age would be disgu... (read in full...)
23 years as a couple, love my spouse deeply but certain sexual constraints leave me unsatified. What can I do?
Q. I'm a male in my early 40's, have been married to my spouse for 15 years and we are a couple for +23 years. She has been my only sex partner or lover in all my life, so my experience is limited. We have a very good relationship and 2 great children...
A. 20 March 2018: "Fake it and get it over with! Let the guy think he's God's gift. Appease his little ego and move right along. Never refuse the guy anything. Keeps them oblivious and happy! It isn't that complicated!" is one of the worst pieces of advice I have ... (read in full...)
I resent his laziness! What do I do?
Q. Hey everyone I have been with my partner now for 4 years everything was fine up until we moved in together I have now came to realise how lazy my boyfriend is I mean he doesn’t do anything he doesn’t work he sits around the house all day on his ...
A. 19 March 2018: You kick him out. You have a child. You don't have two. He contributes nothing. Let him go. Don't stick around.... (read in full...)
I am thinking of losing my virginity to a stranger.
Q. Is it a good idea to lose my virginity to a complete stranger? I just broke up with ny bf and I was planning on just making out with another guy but things might escalate....
A. 19 March 2018: It sounds like a great idea, OP....
If you want an STD or three, possibly be raped, beaten, killed, etc.
OP, you're not this naive or stupid. You know this is a bad idea. You're hurting, but do NOT make reckless decisions like this. Even makin... (read in full...)
23 years as a couple, love my spouse deeply but certain sexual constraints leave me unsatified. What can I do?
Q. I'm a male in my early 40's, have been married to my spouse for 15 years and we are a couple for +23 years. She has been my only sex partner or lover in all my life, so my experience is limited. We have a very good relationship and 2 great children...
A. 19 March 2018: If you are punched, why can't you turn that feeling into happiness? Because our bodies programme themselves. If oral tickles her too much, then her clitoris is too sensitive. She can't just turn it into pleasure, OP.
Try to see the sex therapis... (read in full...)
How would a cheater act if he were cheating on you?
Q. Hi please can people give me some idea of how someone would act around you if they were cheating on you I have been with my fiancé now for 6 years we have a 3 year old daughter we’ve been having sleep issues with our 3 year old daughter so my ...
A. 19 March 2018: Unless he's cheating with your neighbour, how could he cheat in only 15 - 20 minutes? Seriously, OP - that's paranoia.
If you have trust issues, you need couples' counselling. You will sabotage your relationship if you don't get professi... (read in full...)
I'm 25 my girlfriend is 67, its time we went public with the Age Gap.
Q. This question is about being true to myself in front of my family and friends. I seem like a normal 25 year old guy. I graduated from college 3 years ago. I have a good job. I don't smoke. Don't drink. I go to church when I can. On occasion, I date ...
A. 18 March 2018: You will become her carer and waste your youth on her. She may be a lovely woman, but her libido will not increase, it will decrease. You will be in your 30s, when she's in her 80s and you end up alone again.
Continue dating, but don't rush int... (read in full...)
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