He constantly needs reassuring and I am being turned off by it!
Q. Hi so I started seeing a guy about a month ago, he is lovely but lives like 400 miles away! I really fell for him, and him me, but he seems borderline obsessed with me, he got me presents for Xmas very sweet I thought, but he is very insecure and ...
A. 29 December 2018: I had a friend just like him a few years ago. She would "overthink" conversations and start the next conversation with, "So, I've been brooding about what you said . . . ". At first I would discuss what was bothering her and reassure her that it was ... (read in full...)
My new job demands much more of my time! Any advice?
Q. Three weeks ago I started a job in my career path that I’ve been praying for for a long time now. Great location for me, benefits, union, pay is good, the whole nine yards. I feel so overwhelming blessed for me and my family. The only downside to ...
A. 29 December 2018: You can either have a career or you can have a continuous social life. You need to decide what is important to you at this stage of your life. In a perfect world you could have both, but we don't live in a perfect world. Everything is about ... (read in full...)
Is ‘bird’ just slang for ‘woman’ or ‘girl’?
Q. When a guy calls you a bird is it just slang for woman/girl. I text a guy friend to rearrange meeting up as he wasn't feeling well and joked that it was nurses orders for him to get better and that I couldn't find a nurse in uniform emoji t...
A. 29 December 2018: It sounds like he was continuing the "quickie" joke which you started. ;-) ... (read in full...)
He constantly needs reassuring and I am being turned off by it!
Q. Hi so I started seeing a guy about a month ago, he is lovely but lives like 400 miles away! I really fell for him, and him me, but he seems borderline obsessed with me, he got me presents for Xmas very sweet I thought, but he is very insecure and ...
A. 28 December 2018: If you are already being turned off by his behaviour, ask yourself if you want another month, year or more of this? Of course you don't.
If you really would like to give this relationship a chance, you need to spell it out to this guy that you... (read in full...)
My ex saw my hairy nipples! Is that enough to end years of great sex?
Q. The other night I ran into my ex while drunk and went home with him. It was spontaneous and so I didn’t have time to “prepare” myself for him.. I didn’t sleep with him that night (although he tried, persistently) but everything seemed as it was...
A. 27 December 2018: Big LOL at Code Warrior! Spot on! Nothing more I can add. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend regifted a present he had given to his ex
Q. My new bf gave me a regifted present! A mutual friend sent me a pic of his ex wearing this exact bracelet i received. Im so hurt and offended. I thought this person loved me. Who does such a thing? I am gutted. ...
A. 27 December 2018: It sounds like your boyfriend is a tad lazy and thoughtless. Even when confronted, he sees nothing wrong with his behaviour.
However, buying a tv for you two to share and then expecting a gift if similar value from him in return is a tad material... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied about moving overseas to keep sleeping with me
Q. My Boyfriend and I broke up I'm very depressed this Christmas we had been together for a year with a 2 month breakup in between because he refused to tell anyone about me... He claims to be private I took him back because I don't believe he was ...
A. 27 December 2018: I found your post very sad. Very sad because you think you are not worth better than this.
Sweetheart, if you are his dirty little secret, then there is a good reason for it. It is NOT because he is a "private person". It is because he is eithe... (read in full...)
Male friend wants to discuss sexual fantasies ....he has a girlfriend!
Q. No, I am not looking to make him my boyfriend Just want to know if its normal for men with girlfriends to want to talk to their female friends about their sexual fantasies? he even asked if i had a boyfriend and when i asked why he said because...
A. 27 December 2018: Perhaps you should contact his girlfriend and ask her how SHE feels about this?... (read in full...)
I can't forget the guy I cheated with.
Q. About 6 months ago, I cheated on my boyfriend with a male friend. I won't go into details, but my boyfriend and I worked through it and I cut contact with the other guy. Today he sent me an email to wish me happy Christmas and said he misses me. I ...
A. 27 December 2018: I have believed for a long time that who we settle down with is as much about timing as about the other person. We might meet "the one" before we are ready to settle down and, inevitably, that will not work out.
Are you absolutely sure this rel... (read in full...)
Should I give her a Christmas present for her son.
Q. Over the past couple of months i have been getting to know a really nice woman that i have met locally to where i live, she is 37, and im 42. We are taking things really slow at the moment as we both have a lot going on at present. Things are ...
A. 26 December 2018: All the best to you as well. Thank you for the feed-back. Good to know your thoughtfulness was appreciated. ... (read in full...)
My close relationship with my friends has changed ever since they had a baby
Q. Not sure what to do with my friends. We've been friends for a few years and we got on really well always having dinner together and drinks. Celebrating birthdays, Christmas's and new years together. We were really close. Then they announced they ...
A. 26 December 2018: There is no such thing as "simply having a baby". This is a MAJOR lifestyle change. Another member has been added into the family, a member who needs 24/7 care. As first time parents, they are both probably feeling completely overwhelmed by this new ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend regifted a present he had given to his ex
Q. My new bf gave me a regifted present! A mutual friend sent me a pic of his ex wearing this exact bracelet i received. Im so hurt and offended. I thought this person loved me. Who does such a thing? I am gutted. ...
A. 26 December 2018: Fist and foremost, I would question what sort of "friend" makes a point of telling you something which will upset you or, at least, make you question your relationship with your boyfriend. What were their motives? What do they stand to gain from ... (read in full...)
Should I even try to remain friends with her after the way she acted?
Q. The other day I went to dinner with my friend who I actually considered one of my best friend so we were having dinner and it w and We ordered our food and both of ours took a long time to come but hers came before mine and she ate hers and she ...
A. 26 December 2018: You're her only friend? Well, what a surprise! Who else is going to put up with behaviour like that from a supposed adult?
The restaurant handled the mistake really well and YOU handled your side really well by being gracious and offering... (read in full...)
She sent me a text saying "lets break up" but I didn't even know we were in a relationship???
Q. My close friend keeps refering to our friendship as "Relationship". Recently we had a fight and she texted me saying "Lets Break Up".Does that mean we are into a relationship?...
A. 26 December 2018: Is this friend of a similar age to you? If so, is she a bit immature for her age? Sending someone a text like that sounds very childish, regardless of their "relationship" status.
It all sounds a little strange. In your shoes I would keep my ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend buys another woman a puppy
Q. My boyfriend of five years ordered an unborn pedigree puppy for a female friend. She walks his dog when he is at work. During the time he sought out, and checked out breeders, I told him that I found this to be a highly inappropriate gift. During ...
A. 26 December 2018: It's strange but true that everyone has different things which they class as "deal breakers".
For ME the deal breaker in this situation would be the fact he bad put that sort of money in a breeder's pocket when there were thousands of dogs bei... (read in full...)
Should I give her a Christmas present for her son.
Q. Over the past couple of months i have been getting to know a really nice woman that i have met locally to where i live, she is 37, and im 42. We are taking things really slow at the moment as we both have a lot going on at present. Things are ...
A. 24 December 2018: I think that's a lovely thought.
At 2 years of age, the little boy still thinks ALL presents come from Santa, so I don't think there will be any problem on that score. Actually saying to his mum "Just a little present for [name] from Santa" k... (read in full...)
We had a fight my children's present are at my boyfriend's house and he won't let me get them
Q. My boyfriend ruins every Christmas and I don't know what to do. We went last minute shopping today which was his idea. In a supermarket he said he needed the toilet so I decided to cash in a scratch card while I was waiting. The till is right by...
A. 24 December 2018: In your shoes I would bang and hammer on his door until he was sick of the sound of me and let me remove the presents (unless you are physically scared of him, of course).
Perhaps you could take along a relative or friend for support too?
... (read in full...)
My friend has gotten himself involved with a bad girl and I want to help him but unsure what to do
Q. I'm worried about a guy friend as he's got himself involved with a girl who is bad news. Hes started distancing himself from everyone who's warning him and is distancing himself from close friends She's a complete bitch sorry to say - take a mon...
A. 24 December 2018: The more you try to distance your friend from this woman, the more he will dig his heels in and distance himself from YOU. While I can understand your approach, it is counterproductive - as you have already learned.
I think the best thing yo... (read in full...)
The gossip has taken all the good that I do and turned me into nothing.
Q. Hey Cupids, My questions are about moving on after divorce/separation. I met my beautiful lover earlier this year when he was in an unhappy marriage. We started seeing each other but feelings were serious enough that he left his wife after 7 wee...
A. 23 December 2018: You are defining yourself by how SOME people see you AT THIS MOMENT. It's early days yet and, a year or two down the line, everyone will accept your new relationship and people who have nothing better to do than gossip will have got bored of you and ... (read in full...)
I love him but since his massive weight gain don't find him attractive enough for sex
Q. Hi, okay so I really hope I don’t come across as been an absolute bitch here but I could really use some help!! So. My partner has put on a lot of weight. A good 4/5 stone! He was around 12 stone when we met. He’s 6ft3 so was really slim, I’ve alw...
A. 23 December 2018: In your shoes, instead of concentrating on the sexual attraction side, I would approach this from the health angle and say you are worried about his health. As he is an "amazing father", perhaps say you are worried your children may grow up without ... (read in full...)
He wants to spend the rest of his life with me but without marriage.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We have a child together. We are both divorced. We both have children from the marriages. We are in a serous relationship. He has talked about us getting a home together. He has said more than ...
A. 23 December 2018: How important is marriage to you? Given that you have both "been there, done that", and are both now divorced, you know that a piece of paper will not guarantee you will stay together. Love, mutual respect, mutual support and honesty, however, will ... (read in full...)
Is collateral damage a side effect of online dating?
Q. I’ve been trying online dating for a little while with the goal of eventually finding a committed relationship. I haven’t actually met anyone in person (yet) but I have chatted with a fair number of people. Most of those conversations fissled out ...
A. 23 December 2018: In my day (I am a lot older than you), we would pick one person and see if there was a relationship there. If not, we would finish whatever there was and move on to the next, one at a time.
Young people these days seem to have a differen... (read in full...)
My ex took out credit cards in my name without my knowledge is there anything I can do?
Q. Hi. I broke up with my ex about 2 years ago and it was not an amicable break up. It was tough. And very difficult. During the break up he told me he had taken out 3 credit cards in my name totalling about £4/5k of debt. He also told me that he had ...
A. 21 December 2018: WHY are you being so civil to him? Despite no longer being together, this guy is still living off you. I cannot believe how accepting you are of that!
If YOUR actual agreement was never given to these debts, he took them on fraudulently. You shou... (read in full...)
Why did my husband lie to me that he picked up a female coworker?
Q. I have been married 25 years, recently his work hired a female, he had mentioned to me he was asked by his boss to pick her up for work. One morning he dropped me off and my friend called me saying she just seen my husband and a female in his truck, ...
A. 21 December 2018: Did you question him for 2 days until he caved in, or did he just suddenly volunteer the information after 2 days? Do you normally have trust issues with him?
We could only guess why he lied in the firs place. That is something only HE knows. Y... (read in full...)
Is the whole world incapable of keeping a date? Am I doing something wrong? Am I just unlucky?
Q. I’ve been trying online dating for the past month or so. I’ve been using Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid because apparently they are the 3 most popular dating apps. I figure the more people I talk to, the better my odds of success are. I’ve talked with ...
A. 20 December 2018: I have to say, if I was looking to meet someone via on-line dating, had exchanged messages with someone and agreed to meet up and they suddenly "disappeared", I would be disappointed to say the least. While I understand your logic in saving ... (read in full...)
Should your spouse be prioritized over your adult children?
Q. My question, Should your spouse come 2nd (God is always 1st) or your adult children? My wife's daughter (my stepdaughter) is a full on alcoholic/drug addict. For over 3yrs now I have delt with the constant absence of my wife because her daughter ...
A. 19 December 2018: The difficulty here (for me) is that there are TWO issues: the ADULT daughter and the young grand-CHILDREN. Your wife and her ex seem to share parental responsibility for the children (unofficially) and I can fully understand why your wife cannot ... (read in full...)
I do not want my kids to inherit my partner's health problems!
Q. I am in a moral dilemma. My partner has some health conditions such as endometriosis, which means she has a harder time falling pregnant with a chance of not falling pregnant at all. She has other minor health conditions which after thinking about ...
A. 18 December 2018: NOBODY would actually WANT to pass on ANY genetic "defects" to their children. While I understand your concerns, I do wonder if this is "cold feet" at the thought of having a child? Will this be your first child?
If your worries are genuinel... (read in full...)
He puts sex before my needs. Is it time to walk away?
Q. My partner and I have been in a relationship for just over 3 years and have a two year old child. I’ve been struggling to hang onto our relationship for a while but when I try to tell him what I need in the relationship he makes it out as if he’s ...
A. 18 December 2018: Tell him to have a w&nk. Sounds like that will do him just as well and will save you being used as a sex toy.
Yes, he IS being selfish, especially if (as I read it) he does not share the work involved in bringing up the child you created together... (read in full...)
Has anybody else ever missed out on time and then got past it and been able to get on afterwards without too much regret?.
Q. Confidence has never been my forte in life and it is holds me back in so many things. In my early 20's I had even lower levels of confidence and has stuck with me since. I am now 30 and have missed out so many opertunitys in life.. ASKIN women out, ...
A. 18 December 2018: Regrets are pointless drains on energy. They achieve nothing positive. You can regret until the cows come home but it will change NOTHING.
What would be a much more useful positive step to take would be to decide what you want to change about yo... (read in full...)
I'm waiting for someone who clearly doesn't want me
Q. I met this guy a year ago and we’ve sort of been in and out of each other’s lives since. He’s struggled with his feelings and knowing what he wants, I finally thought we were in the same place but he completely backed off, saying that his heart an...
A. 17 December 2018: What are you actually waiting for? You KNOW he is not going to change his mind. How long do you want to keep hurting like this? You cannot start healing until you make a conscious effort to accept he is not into you and let it go.
New year com... (read in full...)
I met a cute guy at a job interview, when can I make a move on him?
Q. I had a interview and I was given a tour of the place and met this VERY VERY VERY CUTE GUY who told me about the area he works in etc.. which is the area i would be in if i get the job... well he came out the back area, with such confidence as he ...
A. 17 December 2018: Can't decide whether this is a wind up just to get a rise out of the aunts & uncles, or whether there are actually people like you out there.
IF this is serious, do you not hear how desperate you sound? In one sentence you say "I don't know any... (read in full...)
I've met a lovely man but my ex wants to pick up where we left off.
Q. right now im feeling meh . everything but my love life is going great. I got into online dating and have met a fantastic man we get on so well apart from odd times he acts like a 5 year old espesh around his 8 yr old nephew. He really acts like a ...
A. 16 December 2018: I appreciate that, at your age, your biological clock is ticking away 20 to the dozen and you are desperate to find a father for the child/children you want to have. However, have you considered that, maybe, neither of these men is right for you?
... (read in full...)
When he is sober he's nice, when he is drunk its a big downfall.
Q. Hi, I'm kinda dating one man few months, but I'm quite worried about him, because many times we go out, he drinks. While I'm having one beer or glass of wine, he has few and often some hard liquors too..he gets pretty drunk often to the level th...
A. 16 December 2018: I wonder, what makes you think he actually WANTS to change? His request to stop judging him? That doesn't sound much like a desire to change. That sounds much more like he is happy the way he is, regardless of what YOU think or want.
You are effe... (read in full...)
I'm being used by a totally useless boyfriend and I feel trapped
Q. When me and my guy first got together about 8 months ago, he had his own vehicle, his own place to live with a roommate, a good paying job, and was easy to get along with. After about 5 months i agreed to let him move in with me but things went ...
A. 13 December 2018: Wow! Seriously? You actually NEED to ask that question?
This guy is a user - physically, financially and emotionally. You don't give his age but I am assuming he is an adult, not a helpless clueless child as he tries to make out he is. YOU are ... (read in full...)
Around how long were you and your significant other together before saying "I love you"?
Q. I'm just curious for other people's experiences, although I know every one is different. Around how long were you and your significant other together before saying "I love you" ? My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 8 months and are e...
A. 12 December 2018: As you have already worked out, there is no yard stick for measuring when someone SHOULD say "I love you" to a partner. Everyone is different. Some can say the words easily, while others find them difficult. It does not make their feelings any the ... (read in full...)
Should I include her son for the first date or should it just be between the two of us?
Q. So a while back I met a woman through my sister-in-law. We've been talking on the phone a lot, and met up for lunch a couple times since we work near each other. It's obvious there's a chemistry between us. I'd like to ask her out. She has a ...
A. 12 December 2018: No, absolutely do NOT involve the child at this stage. This is a date, not a family outing. Plenty of time for the latter IF the relationship works out. By all means, ask questions about her son while you are on your date(s) but do NOT involve him ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is obsessed with sex!
Q. My boyfriend is obsessed with sex! He constantly tells about sex, tries it on.even when I have been ill. I had a colopscopy procedure a few months ago and it was meant to be 6 weeks recovery time..after a few days he told me I should be having s...
A. 12 December 2018: I have heard that women need to feel loved to want sex, whereas men need sex to feel loved. Your boyfriend possibly genuinely feels you don't love him when you reject him. This does NOT excuse what he does to you nor make it right in any way, shape ... (read in full...)
He doesn't talk to other volunteers, just me. Does this mean he likes me?
Q. Hello, I am a 22 year old female who met a 24 year old male. I am volunteering at an organization that the guy I met works at. We've known each other for two months now but I see him every once in a while because I don't always have shifts. ...
A. 10 December 2018: Nobody can guess whether he likes you, but, judging on what you have described, he certainly doesn't DISLIKE you, otherwise he would avoid you.
Perhaps he is "new to this" as well? If you like him, stay friendly. Ask him questions about himself.... (read in full...)
The neurosurgeon I have met online says he wants a dominant woman.
Q. Hello everyone. I’m 41 and just strarted looking to online dating 4 years after divorce. I started chatting with this incredibly smart and handsome guy. He is 47 and a neurosurgeon. Never been married and no kids. We both have the same religion and ...
A. 10 December 2018: This sort of sexual relationship can involve anything from verbal domination to infliction of serious pain and injury. IF you are really interested in this guy, you have to realize this is a way of life for him. While the bit about letting you boss ... (read in full...)
I'm keeping it light and my options open, does this make me a bad person?
Q. Hi, so I’m a single mum, I’ve been on my own for about 7 years now, I haven’t dated in a few years as I just couldn’t be bothered anymore. But recently on a Facebook group I’ve met two men, I like them both, and they are both aware of each other, ...
A. 10 December 2018: It sounds like you haven't actually met either of them. Am I right? If that is the case, then I can see no reason why you should not just carry on "getting to know them" as you are doing.
You don't owe either of them anything at this stage, d... (read in full...)
I can't get my ex to leave me alone
Q. So, I was engaged to a guy and we broke up a year ago. So, my ex is military he moved to Germany while I live in the U.S. it was a toxic relationship. When he was in the U.S. him and I we’re together for two years. We broke up and got back together ...
A. 9 December 2018: Why are you thanking him for unwanted gifts and attention? This is not manners; it is MADNESS.
Your mum needs to block him as well.
In your shoes I would send him one last text, something along the lines of: "Any future gifts from you will be... (read in full...)
New boyfriend gets upset because I wont let him move in.
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 11 months now. Previously married for 5 years. Our relationship has been rocky to say the least but we have come to a crossroads suddenly. He lives with his mom and they are getting evicted. He isn’t working at ...
A. 7 December 2018: You have only been dating a relatively short while, you have already told him you do NOT want him moving in with you and your relationship has been "rocky". The fact that he is losing his home does not make him YOUR responsibility. He cannot make ... (read in full...)
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