I need emotional support which my husband can't give me.
Q. Hi everyone.. its been months since my last post here. I had my 2 weeks old son now after long labor and he is perfect. Im the one who posted about trouble with my husband and mother in law. Things are not getting better. Im still living in my in ...
A. 24 October 2018: You cannot FORCE your husband to be anything or do anything. It has to come from him.
Could I suggest that, rather than concentrating on trying to change your husband and get him to see the error of his ways (it appears you are planning on leavi... (read in full...)
My lesbian partner seems too close to my friends!
Q. Hello mates :) I've been in a relationship with a lesbian. We're bestfriends and turns into lovers. 2 months of love :) But mates, I start to wonder why she's way too close with my girl bestfriends and heck they look so sweet :( I'm pretty jealous ...
A. 24 October 2018: I am guessing you both mixed in the same friend group before becoming closer, in which case it is only natural your lover will stay close to her friends. If this is not the case, then perhaps you just both share similar taste in what you like in ... (read in full...)
He didn't disclose his real age. Am I overreacting?
Q. I met a guy several months ago, when we were taking an evening class together. I was too shy to talk to anyone for a while, but then one day he and I found we took the same route home after class. We got talking. I mentioned I'd just had my 25th ...
A. 22 October 2018: You know we have a gut instinct for good reason, right? It is there to protect us, to tell us when something is not quite "right".
You need to learn to listen to yours and do what you feel is best for YOU. Never mind what HE wants. You already ... (read in full...)
Online dating but he's much shorter than me and we've never met. I don't know where this is going
Q. Okay so basically I met this guy on a dating app. We really hit it off and I don’ usually hit it off with guys. I usually get bored or they annoy me. I honestly don’t know how to explain it any other way. Anyways. I met this guy. He’s 29 and I’m ...
A. 21 October 2018: Are you sure it is not just a simple typo on his profile and that he meant to put 5'11? I ask this as, if he really is only 4'11, I would have expected him to mention something about his height while you were chatting. Perhaps he has even put it as ... (read in full...)
I went out of my way to make my friend feel special on his birthday but he didn't do anything for me on mine
Q. It’s really bugging me that I spent my birthday alone. When my best friend has his birthday, I planned dinner, made sure all his friends were there. I personally took them, paid for him etc. We had a great time. Recently it was my bir...
A. 21 October 2018: You can't buy friendship. Just because YOU decided to treat your friend for his birthday (paying for everyone seems a bit over the top and extravagant, considering you were struggling financially on your own birthday), does not mean he owes you the ... (read in full...)
When discussing sexual history, do handjobs count as sex?
Q. When discussing sexual history should people you didn't have sex with but gave handjobs to count? I know to count oral and vaginal ( I never had anal.) but do handjobs you've given typically go into that count?...
A. 21 October 2018: I guess that depends on whether you are discussing your sexual history for medical reasons or for other reasons. If the former, then I would say hand jobs are irrelevant as the risk of any STI being passed on in this way is minimal (unless you ... (read in full...)
Can I just turn off some thoughts?
Q. I have very strong romantic feelings for my cousin and I know its wrong even if she is my step cousin I know its wrong. The problem is I suspect she feels the same way. She plays with her hair when she speaks to me, tries to get closer to me whe...
A. 20 October 2018: The only problem I foresee is that some family members may find this a bit "too close". HOWEVER, that is THEIR problem. There is nothing legally to stop you two having a relationship, if that is what you both want.
Just a cautionary note: be... (read in full...)
Should I fly 4,000 miles to go see my ex? Would it be cheating?
Q. So... we’ve broken up for 5 years after an incident and subsequently I moved home to my home country. Contact was lost eventually as we were sick of crying over the phone. Recently, I thought I saw him whilst on vacation and sent him a text. He...
A. 20 October 2018: I have a few questions of my own.
Firstly, and most importantly, what does your "cosy" partner say about your wish to fly to see your ex? Have you even mentioned it to him yet? If you were truly happy in your current relationship, would you be w... (read in full...)
Strange things keep happening after my one-night stand!
Q. Hi everyone I split up with my partner but we carried on living together until he found somewhere to live I went out and slept with someone it was just a one night stand I woke up and told him I had a boyfriend even though we had split up just cos i ...
A. 19 October 2018: I suspect your guilty conscience is adding 2 + 2 together and making a lot more than 4. How do you know these people (whose appearance at your door could be genuine mistakes) are not something to do with your boyfriend?
How much do you trust yo... (read in full...)
Should I give my ex money back for a trip that he won't be taking with my family?
Q. Hey guys. Since my last post I've taken your advice and no longer visit my exs social media accounts. I am actually in the process of moving on and have even met someone else :) I'm just writing because it's coming to the time where I sign ...
A. 19 October 2018: Nope. He is gaining much more than a measly £200 from the property you are signing over to him. He is still easily quids in on the deal, regardless of who ended the relationship. ... (read in full...)
My husband wont discuss things and gives me the silent treatment.
Q. Hello and thanks I tried writing in before but can't seem to find my question. My husband is very popular, and 10 years younger than myself. His friends are a huge part of his life and I knew that from day one. Sometimes I do get a bit a...
A. 19 October 2018: You quite obviously don't trust your husband, which makes me doubt the long term viability of your marriage. I have to say, in your shoes, I would have called it a day a long time ago (probably one of the times he threatened to leave when you tried ... (read in full...)
I said yes when he proposed but I worry it wasnt the right answer.
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for 12 years and live with him. I've had some problems with my boyfriend for a while, maybe a year. He stopped being romantic and didn't go on dates or ever go out to spend time at the weekend with me. He woul...
A. 18 October 2018: I like "people watching" and I have noticed that people who have been together for many years without getting married (like you and your boyfriend), then suddenly decide to get married, usually end up getting divorced not long afterwards. There is a ... (read in full...)
I kissed other men while we were broken up, now back together did I cheat on him?
Q. My boyfriend and I had split up for week, his decision and I was gutted but said I would respect his decision. I went out with a friend for a night out and i kissed two men. I love my boyfriend and I was upset with it all. We have now got back tog...
A. 18 October 2018: No, you didn't cheat. He chose to put the relationship on temporary hold.
Are you just back together because he couldn't find someone else or because you really want to be together? Like N91, I am always dubious when people need a "break".... (read in full...)
He asked me out as a joke but I said yes ... how do I face my friends?
Q. My crush asked me out as a joke and I said yes. I was sick the day after and I wasn’t at school. My friends texted me about it. Apparently he had told most of my friends. Now I have to go back to school. I don’t really like him a lot. I just ...
A. 18 October 2018: This says nothing about YOU and EVERYTHING about HIM. HE is a nasty immature little boy, who gets his kicks out of humiliating people.
Honestly? In your shoes I would laugh it off. Just shrug and say, "You can't win them all" and then say "Gla... (read in full...)
I've been with him for 15 years. Am I stupid?
Q. Am I being dumb? I have been with my partner for 15 years We have 2 children together. His mum is constantly on the phone texting call and bitching about me. I have recently started a new Job, but that's more for her to bitch about me. I n...
A. 16 October 2018: You have to love these posters who slag off their partner in their original post but, when told they should dump him, lay the blame for all the problems at someone else's door (the mother's in this case).
His mother did not make him put her on h... (read in full...)
How do I get over my co-worker? I have made sacrifices she wouldnt make and I know she doesn't care about me
Q. I apologise in advance for rambling but I wasn’t sure how to explain things. It’s been a long time since I last felt the need to ask for advice online but I’m desperate. I can’t talk to any of my friends because I’d be breaching confidentiality ...
A. 16 October 2018: You know this isn't love, don't you? This is obsession. Regardless of what you know about her, you still obsess about her. Nothing anyone can say to you will change that.
You have to realize, regardless of what you feel you have done for her (whi... (read in full...)
Should I be upset that my FWB partner is having sex with others and lied about it
Q. I have been having sex with a friend but he said he having been with anyone else but I caught him with another woman should I be angry or not because we are not dating? please help me because im mad as hell....
A. 16 October 2018: You are not his girlfriend. You are his f%ck buddy. That is your choice but that also means neither of you owe the other exclusivity. You are entitled to be "mad as hell" but that won't make the slightest bit of difference to what he does.
Perha... (read in full...)
I've been with him for 15 years. Am I stupid?
Q. Am I being dumb? I have been with my partner for 15 years We have 2 children together. His mum is constantly on the phone texting call and bitching about me. I have recently started a new Job, but that's more for her to bitch about me. I n...
A. 16 October 2018: Is this all you think you are worth? Or do you, like me, think you deserve better? What are you getting out of this relationship, apart from grief?
I am sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Did you get professional support to help you at the t... (read in full...)
25, single, a virgin, and in the closet... not living my best life. How do I motivate myself to do better both personally and professionally?
Q. SO... I have this master plan to come out, but I haven't made it very far through it yet... And by that, I mean that I haven't done anything at all. Lately, though, this has been weighing on me. I need to tell you a little bit more about mysel...
A. 14 October 2018: How do you change your life? How do you eat an elephant? Two completely different questions but with the same answer: one small piece at a time. If you look at ALL you are unhappy with and ALL you want to change, it is little wonder you feel ... (read in full...)
Have I just been used?
Q. I was seeing someone up until a few months ago, we weren’t together very long but I really started to care for him. Anyway he’d not long got out a relationship before we met, moved out and started his new life so wanted to take things slowly, he ...
A. 14 October 2018: When someone tells you they are not in a good place, believe them and, unless you want to follow them, tread carefully.
To be frank, as you were not together long, you should really ask yourself if you should be supporting this guy at an emotiona... (read in full...)
I'm willing to leave my husband but my married lover isn't saying anything about leaving his wife
Q. Iv been having an affair for a couple of years now and decided to end my marriage. I'm living with a friend but my married lover is still staying put. I said it was my problem about leaving my husband but he said he was still worried for me. He ...
A. 13 October 2018: I had a friend who did what you did. She eventually went back to her husband because her lover completely refused to leave his wife, even after she had told her about the affair. It was only when the cheated-on wife found someone else and kicked out ... (read in full...)
Is he flirting or am I reading too much into his actions?
Q. I recently transferred into a different team at work and started working very closely with the guy who recommended me for the role. I REALLY like him as as a person and we get along great. Sometimes have suspicion that he 'likes' me, but then I t...
A. 12 October 2018: The answer is: don't sh$t on your own doorstep.
This guy obviously values you on a professional level and finds working with you stimulating. He may feel an attraction towards you, regardless of how you think you look. After all, relation... (read in full...)
I am uncertain if my actions were correct in the moments before my father passed away
Q. My dad died 4 weeks ago. The day he died, my mom, myself, my 4 siblings and other extended family were in and out of the hospital room. My dad went in for some tests, was in the hospital for almost a week, and was told he could go home the morning ...
A. 12 October 2018: I am so sorry for your loss.
I was actually crying while reading your post. That must have been so hard for you. However, you and your dad, close in life, were close in death too. The last touch he felt in this life was yours. The last voice he... (read in full...)
I honestly don't know what to do. What can I do? She blames her childhood for her major trust issues
Q. Hi, I have been together with my fiance for about 8 months now. Unfortunately, she has major trust issues and she fuels it by giving me no space to breathe. she expects me to tell her everything in detail. ie if I get a message from a friend(ma...
A. 12 October 2018: Well done, you. Sending hugs and wishing you all the very best. Stay strong. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is hurtful and tells me I cant take a joke!
Q. I don't even know how to start. My boyfriend and I continuingly get into arguments. I think perhaps we are coming to understand that we are two people who don't understand eachother, or perhaps he doesn't understand me. I've come from a divorced ...
A. 12 October 2018: What should you do? Dump him. Simple.
His parents, despite their fantastic relationship, have raised a bully who is completely lacking in empathy. Is this how you want to spend your life?
While you may have your issues, there is no way you ar... (read in full...)
We still have feelings for each other but he doesn't want to date
Q. My boyfriend and I dated for 6 months and we broke up 2 months ago. I miss him so much. HE still has feelings for me and I still have feelings for him but he doesn't want to date anyone right now. I have no idea what to do. Any thoughts?...
A. 10 October 2018: What you need to do is understand that breaking up is part of dating, that not all relationships are meant to be long term and that you two are just not "doable" at the moment as it takes two to make a relationship work.
Spend as much time as ... (read in full...)
Is it just office banter?
Q. I am in my late 40s and work in an office with a group of men who liven the day up with their banter and occasional innuendo. Would you still count these as general banter and fun from one person 'a male work colleague shutting the door on you ...
A. 10 October 2018: I too work in an office where there is a lot of banter and, to be honest, all you have mentioned sounds exactly like the banter which goes on in OUR office. To be honest, I have played the "locked door" trick myself on colleagues when we are ... (read in full...)
Shall I carry on being her friend or is there anything else I can do to fix the issue ?
Q. I have been friends with someone for the past 3 years now and just recently I haven't been enjoying spending time with her . When ive been with her she can say some really cringey things , act silly and very childish most of the time but not all the ...
A. 10 October 2018: It sounds like you two have grown up at different speeds. Your friend still sounds to be the same as she was when you met, but you have matured and, while you found her behaviour endearing 3 years ago, you now find it inappropriate.
If she has ... (read in full...)
What will help me feel at ease about entering a bdsm relationship?
Q. I am 25 and about to enter into my first bdsm relationship with a guy I met online. We’ve been talking for a while now and discussed everything we both want but I am a past rape victim and getting spanked scared me! He knows this but nothing he has ...
A. 8 October 2018: I have just three words for you: DON'T DO IT!
BDSM requires a deep trust between the parties concerned, yet you are considering doing it with someone you have only chatted with on line. You know nothing about him except what he has chosen to share... (read in full...)
Should I tell my potential mistress that my marriage is falling apart (not true) in order to increase my chances that she'll do it without guilt?
Q. My question is simple. I'm married and going on a trip this weekend to meet a friend that I'd like to get intimate with. She knows I'm married, but has hinted she doesn't care that much. However, I'm not sure I trust that. Should I tell her that my ...
A. 8 October 2018: I would suggest you ask your WIFE how she feels about that.... (read in full...)
I hit him while drunk for making a pathetic comment and now I deeply regret it
Q. DearCupid, I'm 31 years old. I met my boyfriend 28, about 2 yeare ago, weve been together for an official year and it has been the most amazing relationship I have ever had in my life with the most amazing man. But when I met him I was unhappily ...
A. 8 October 2018: You have learned a painful lesson: regardless of how you are feeling, you are still responsible for your words and actions.
You both behaved badly on that night. Alcohol was doubtless a contributory factor. However, that does not excuse EITHER o... (read in full...)
Do you think she doesn’t want to see me?
Q. do you think she doesnt wanna see me? so this all happend last year when i was at work and i went out to the lobby and i saw the girl i used to liked back in high school sitting at the table with her boyfriend i guess she was waiting for her food...
A. 7 October 2018: We have no way of telling whether she is avoiding you or not but, if your interpretation of the situations you describe is correct, then it is quite possible she is trying to keep her distance.
You need to completely ignore her when you spot her... (read in full...)
It seems that he wants me to want him, despite the fact he’s not looking for a serious relationship!
Q. I have been seeing a guy got a few months now. At first I thought it would have potential eventually but now after getting to know him I feel like it's not going to reach bf/gf status. He's just not the kind of guy I would have a relationship with. ...
A. 7 October 2018: It seems quite simple to me. It is all about his ego. He may not actually want to be in a serious relationship with you but he wants you to dote on him and pine for him.
Don't fall for it. This "relationship" is one sided. He wants to do all the ... (read in full...)
I'm not comfortable seeing him if he is going to date other people.
Q. I have been dating/talking to this guy for only 3 weeks. We have been in on a few dates and I have stayed at his house also , things seemed to be going well. So I found out he took another girl out on a date but he doesn’t know that I know , and I ...
A. 6 October 2018: I hear about this sort of behaviour more and more these days. Apparently this is the "new" way of dating, i.e. you can date multiple people until you and one of these people agree you are in an exclusive relationship. Sounds sensible on one level ... (read in full...)
He’s made me feel worthless, after 6 years, what advice can you give me?
Q. Hello everyone I’m in a situation and I don’t know what to do so I’m hoping for some good advice I’m in a relationship now for 6 years the past year or so he has made me feel worthless like I’m not good enough for him he makes no effort with how he ...
A. 4 October 2018: If you have spoken to him and told him you are unhappy with how things are and he is still not doing anything to change, then you have to realize there are two people in this relationship but you only have the power to change ONE of them - and that ... (read in full...)
Struggling to get over ex and finding it hard to look at dating again!
Q. Hi all, I guess this is a slightly multi-layered problem. Firstly I am single as of close to year ago. I mention this as I feel it potentially explains certain things as of yet mentioned. It was a strange breakup that never really had clos...
A. 4 October 2018: You can't start to heal and move on without the pain of letting go of what you think you have. Little surprise you feel guilty when dating someone else when, in your heart and mind, you are still in a relationship with what is effectively your EX ... (read in full...)
New boyfriend wants to dress in a dress during sex
Q. I have just got a new boyfriend and he told me something a couple of days ago, he said he wants to dress in female pvc in the bedroom. He doesnt want to wear wigs or do make up just wear a dress and certainly doesnt want to go outside in public. At ...
A. 2 October 2018: I suspect he has already tried it with others and found this is what turns him on. It's a fetish, a fairly harmless one in the grander scheme of things, but it's not everyone's cup of tea.
I would suggest (you can obviously choose to take or ... (read in full...)
How can I make our first time as pleasurable as possible?
Q. Basic sex question: I just got out of a 2.5 yr relationship. I've met someone new, and we've been very open with communication and I've been able to let her know that while I'm not absolutely ready for something concrete, and that I need some more...
A. 2 October 2018: You sound like a very caring young man and you seem to have it all covered already. I would say the most important thing is to communicate - which you already know. And just remember, whatever stage you are at, "no" still means "no" and she is ... (read in full...)
To send a message or not send a message, what if I come across as weird?
Q. Should I message someone to say I want to be his friend ? About a year ago I started talking to someone and spent a bit of time with him, but at first was not that bothered about being his friend because I didn't really know him that well and didn...
A. 2 October 2018: I don't think you need to actually spell it out to him. Surely just messaging him and saying something like "Hi, just wondered how you were" is sufficient to tell him to want to chat? If he is interested in being friends with you, he will keep the ... (read in full...)
On social media he blocks me, unblocks me, friends me then unfriends, I don't know what to do.
Q. I have no idea where to begin I am only hoping you all can offer some advice. So I was with my ex for three years, we were engaged at one point, but I broke it off after our twin babies were born stillborn. We stayed in a relationship we just ...
A. 2 October 2018: So sorry to hear about your twins. It is not too late to get help to come to terms with your loss if you feel you need it.
You need to accept that your ex is just that: your EX. He is in the past. He has moved on and is in another relation... (read in full...)
What is it about women like this, who are seemingly very ordinary both in looks and nature, that still have their partners in rapt attention?
Q. I'm probably going to get a lot of flak for asking this question but I'll go ahead anyway. I've been married for 3 years to a wonderful man. He's kind, respectful of me, a great husband and a wonderful father to our daughter. She is our world and...
A. 1 October 2018: Isn't it funny that often it is not the things people say (or write) but the things they OMIT which draw your attention?
For instance, I find it striking that, despite your glowing report of your marriage, you never mention that you love your hus... (read in full...)
Do you think she doesn’t want to see me?
Q. do you think she doesnt wanna see me? so this all happend last year when i was at work and i went out to the lobby and i saw the girl i used to liked back in high school sitting at the table with her boyfriend i guess she was waiting for her food...
A. 17 September 2018: Wow! If they handed out medals for over-thinking, you would be dripping in gold.
There are MANY reasons why her boyfriend could be picking up the food for them both. She might be ill. She might be working. It doesn't take two of them to pick up ... (read in full...)
I honestly don't know what to do. What can I do? She blames her childhood for her major trust issues
Q. Hi, I have been together with my fiance for about 8 months now. Unfortunately, she has major trust issues and she fuels it by giving me no space to breathe. she expects me to tell her everything in detail. ie if I get a message from a friend(ma...
A. 22 February 2017: Can you imagine yourself in this relationship next year, or 5 or 10 years down the line, still putting up with this controlling behaviour? Would you be happy? I doubt it, otherwise you would not have already made the decision to leave. All you have ... (read in full...)
| *oucannotbeserious's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oucannotbeserious has
added them and they have added *oucannotbeserious!
|
