Should I be strong and not burden people with my problems?
Q. I'm really upset but wondering if I have every right to be or if my boyfriend was spot on and I need to get a grip. I have two children with my ex, we were together 8 years but then he cheated with his now wife. They got married within months of...
A. 11 November 2018: I have one question: how do your poor daughters cope with all this drama? If their father's new wife is so volatile that she punches holes in doors (she sounds like the worst sort of thug), they must be very scared when her temper goes.
While... (read in full...)
My head is everywhere and I can't make a decision.
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 16 months and he left to go Australia in Feb this year, I knew from the start that that was his plans and I was fine with it and both decided to keep things the same way knowing with it being a long distance ...
A. 11 November 2018: I think you need to take a leaf out of your boyfriend's book, decide what YOU want from life and start doing it, regardless of what others want.
You may feel like he led you on with the promises of meeting up in Thailand and coming home together... (read in full...)
I can't believe he couldnt see how I felt.
Q. I love a guy who is a good friend of mine and he doesnt know that I love him. At present we are not at all in talking terms. Let me explain how all this happened. 6-7 months back it came to my realization that I love him because I sensed jealousy...
A. 11 November 2018: I had to check your age after reading your post. You are in your 20s, not a child. Stop playing childish games. This guy is not a mind reader. It is not his job to ask you countless questions to get to the bottom of your strange behaviour.
You h... (read in full...)
I like a guy but another girl might steal him.
Q. I like this uy named Jonah but im not sure how to go about it because we only talk in school and this one girl Aliyah may steal him but I feel like me and him have a connection...
A. 11 November 2018: Steal him? Is she going to tie him up and drag him away against his will?
You are a maximum of 15 years old (probably younger, judging by your post). I dread to think what you mean by "go about it". I do hope you are not thinking you have to offer... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is perfect, but I want an open relationship.
Q. Hi people. I met my current girlfriend a little over two years ago and I was not the social type back then. I never really went out a lot and hanging out with friends was pretty much 'indoor'. After I met her I became very outgoing. We went t...
A. 11 November 2018: Why can't you go out and have "fun" WITH your girlfriend? She sounds to be an outgoing type. Explain to her that you feel like you have "missed out" (trust me, you really haven't!).
You cannot have it all in this situation - freedom to have "fu... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel lost about who I am.
Q. Hi All, Might sound like a silly issue raised, but I have a problem trying to have self belief sometimes. I feel I have come from a relatively tough background (in comparison to most people around me) divorced immature parents, a mother with a pe...
A. 10 November 2018: I think you would be surprised by how many people have similar thoughts, feelings and fears to those you have expressed. Many (most?) of us have moments in our life when we feel like we are not "worthy" of what we have and that it could all get ... (read in full...)
I feel pathetic, its seven years and I am still not over him!
Q. Hi all, I’m going to keep this short and sweet and any help and advice is greatly appreciated. I was in a long distance relationship that ended in 2011 because my partner got depressed due to me always leaving to go back home. I’m Scottish and he’...
A. 10 November 2018: Was he your first "proper" boyfriend? I am assuming, given your age, that he was. We NEVER forget our first love. However, that does not mean they were right for us or that the timing was right. It does not mean things could still work out with ... (read in full...)
I love him but I feel sad and ignored.
Q. Hello everyone, I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months, but things have been rocky lately. Here's a little background info: i'm 27 and he's 36 years old, and has 4 kids. I do not have any kids of my own. Things were good in the beginn...
A. 10 November 2018: You may love and care about him, but he doesn't love and care about you, so you are on a hiding to nothing, sweetheart.
You already know this is leading nowhere. Why are you wasting more time than you already have on him? Leave him to his game... (read in full...)
Should I apologize before the concert or just leave it alone?
Q. When we were dating, I had given my ex a Louis Vuitton necklace. After we broke up, I knew he would just throw it away, so I asked for it back and he said he would mail it. A week later, it hadn’t come in the mail, so I texted him and asked if he ...
A. 10 November 2018: Sweetheart, you need to back off and leave this poor guy alone before he takes out a restraining order against you! He was right when he said you were acting crazy. And he did tell you to leave him alone. You need to do as he asks. Imagine how you ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't see this being a long term forever thing
Q. I've been seeing a guy since August we both got out of relationships shortly before so we just decided to have fun with it. we've known each other since March and got on well as friends but as both of us were in relationships we never displayed any ...
A. 9 November 2018: I am not sure which part of your post is supposed to signify this guy falling for you? The part where he said he didn't want you seeing anyone else? That is just how some people are. He did then go on to ask you to use condoms if you did choose to ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of this man being a ghost in our relationship.
Q. Early this year my girlfriend did an internship in another city. I was too busy to visit and she didn't have much time either, so she only travelled back here a couple of times. I missed her and was looking forward to her getting back. Then she ...
A. 9 November 2018: You loved and missed her so much, you did not have time to visit her even once during her internship? She somehow found the time to visit you twice during that period.
Perhaps instead of making demands on her (which are obviously not working ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband look up the category of ex girlfriend in porn?
Q. My husband occasionally uses my laptop. And sometimes watches porn on it, which is fine as long as our sex life is ok. I always delete the porn off my browser history as i sometimes need to bring my laptop into work. Anyway, apart from looking up ...
A. 8 November 2018: Just guessing that he probably saw some porn he enjoyed at some point which featured an ex girlfriend and he finds (or tries to find) it.
As you both seem quite relaxed about porn and he is not trying to hide anything from you, why not just cas... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want children, my mother is heartbroken.
Q. I met my boyfriend 1 year ago. He is 40 and I am 30. He told me about 3 months into the relationship that he does not want to have any children. I am confused because I am not sure if I want to have any. I know that my current circumstances will not ...
A. 8 November 2018: My advice would be, as you are now 30 and not a child, you need to start deciding what YOU want in life and stop feeling you have to keep your mother happy. As someone who chose not to have children (and who "disappointed" my mother in that way), I ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend wants to be reimbursed for gifts she gave me.
Q. I have recently broke up with my girlfriend after nine months together, a couple of weeks before we separated she bought me a present but now we're not together she's asking me to give her back the money she spent on that present, I don't think ...
A. 8 November 2018: Given the proximity of the gift giving to the break-up, in your shoes I would either return the gift or agree on a sum of money to satisfy her (perhaps not the whole amount but certainly a substantial part of it).
I would do this because (a) I ha... (read in full...)
I stood by him even while he lied and said he was single now he doesn't want me
Q. Hello to all. I do need help I need some advice or at least someone who does not judge me or listen to me. I met an Iraqi man four years ago. He arrived to the USA as a refugee. We met in person one night I was out with some girlfriends and he was ...
A. 7 November 2018: My heart always falls and I sigh involuntarily when someone comes on this site to ask for advice which they temper with "do not judge me". Why? Because I know THEY know they are acting/have acted unreasonably/stupidly/naively/illogically (delete as ... (read in full...)
We have fun and the sex is amazing but then why doesn't he fall for me?
Q. Hey all. I feel like a spoilt brat here, like Verruca Salt when she can't get what she wants. I've completely fallen for a co worker. He works in another office and lives 80 miles away. He lives alone (divorced with a son) as I live with parents ...
A. 6 November 2018: Why won't he like you? But he DOES like you - as a friend with benefits, as a convenient sex partner, probably as a work colleague too.
I mean, come on. You have handed it to this guy on a plate. Not only do you give him no strings sex, but you ... (read in full...)
He can't say I love you to me but we keep breaking up and getting back together. I don't know what to do
Q. Okay, this is going to be long and I apologize in advance - I’ll try to summarize as much as possible. Two years ago (August 2016) I started my masters program in a big city. I was on dating apps for fun, mostly, not looking for anything serious...
A. 5 November 2018: Is this all down to him being unable to vocalize how he feels about you? I ask because that is what your post sounded like to me. If so, then you need to remember that not everyone is good with words, especially the "l" word. He has been honest and ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why she did this to me
Q. I know part of the answer. She's selfish. Has some severe mental health issues but so do I, so I'm trying not to hold it against her. Been scouring all over the internet to understand. Narcissist? Bipolar? Just trying to make sense of all this. ...
A. 4 November 2018: The sooner you cut ALL contact with this woman, the sooner you will start healing. The longer you cling onto the remnants of this brief relationship, the more pain you will allow to be inflicted on you. Your choice. I know it is not easy to let go ... (read in full...)
How do I make my intentions known without coming across as creepy?
Q. Hi this may seem trivial but I have not long gotten out of a long term relationship nearly 10 years. But I have no idea how to express interest in another woman it's been that long. There is one I am really interested in but 130 miles sepertes us. M...
A. 4 November 2018: The best advice I can give you is that women don't want someone they feel is playing a "game". They prefer a guy who is genuine and just himself. There is no need for patter, no need for flirting. Just be yourself. Show an interest in the lady you ... (read in full...)
What do I say to her to prove I’m genuinely sorry?
Q. I’m here for advice and I’m looking for advice and don’t know what to do. I came across a female on a dating app who I really liked and we share things in common. there’s were going great until I said to her you’re ignoring me and now she is giving ...
A. 4 November 2018: Regardless of what has happened to you in the past, you are still responsible for what you do and say. If you carry on being so reactive to perceived slights in the future, this will turn into a "self fulfilling prophesy" scenario, with you ... (read in full...)
Am I being used by someone who doesn’t care about my feelings?
Q. I’ll try not to make this long and keep it brief as I can, I’m on a dating site app and joined it because I’m single. met some nice people and made friends a long the way. I messaged this female who I liked and we started talking to each other. we ...
A. 3 November 2018: Not sure why you would think you were being "taken for a ride". That would seem to indicate she is lying to you or taking advantage of you in some way, neither of which you have mentioned in your post.
It is one thing "getting on" in writing ... (read in full...)
I'm hurt, confused, angry and betrayed.
Q. So Last night I texted my gf and asked her how it started and she said that they met at a mutual friends house and he went up to her and they started talking about regulsr shit at first. Eventually they started chatting over what...
A. 3 November 2018: If you want to get something USEFUL from this whole sad experience, perhaps you should address your "anger issues", whatever they may be. For your mum be worried to tell you something because of how you will react is a huge red flag that you need to ... (read in full...)
My husband seems to think I am a bank, smokes weed all day and chats with other women!
Q. Hello My husband isnt working and I am providing for our family. He is unable to work do to his new arrival to my country. During hid time here, he tells me his friends back home need an apartment to rent and they need to open up their ow...
A. 2 November 2018: But you ARE effectively a bank for him. Who paid for him to come to your country? Who pays for his weed habit? Who pays for his phone? Who pays for his food? Who pays for the roof over his head?
As Honeypie says, you need to wake up and see you ... (read in full...)
Do I warn others hes a serious fantasist
Q. So just over a year ago i met a man on a dating site and we decided to make a go of it. Everything was great for the first couple of month then he sectioned himself. He had told me prior to meeting his mental health issues. So we kind of had a break ...
A. 2 November 2018: Not sure HOW you propose warning other women as I can't actually think of any even semi-sensible way of doing this. That aside, WHAT would you actually warn them of? That this guy has mental health issues? That is only YOUR opinion. He may act ... (read in full...)
My married lover doesn't want me to go on trips by myself. Why doesn't he trust me?
Q. My married lover travels with his wife up to 3-5 times a year. The longest he is away is a month at a time. It's very difficult for me, even though I've chosen to place myself in this role. I feel resentful and left behind. They are natural ...
A. 1 November 2018: Perhaps you could ask his wife. See what HER take on this is.
Two things come to mind here. Firstly, as he is a cheater himself, he projects what he is happy doing onto you. Secondly, as you are happy to be in a relationship with a married ... (read in full...)
I don't want to make things easy for my ex. Do I move out because he wants me to?
Q. Hi This is gonna be long post . I am 23.lets call him A . We met in highschool and offically started dating. His parents and extended family approved of us and things were good. We were both young and immature .We had all ups and downin the relat...
A. 30 October 2018: Your focus should be on what is GOOD for YOU, not what is BAD for your ex. Making things more difficult for him will not make you happier, believe me. It will just prolong your pain.
Do what you need to do to help you get over this and move on ... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend treat me so badly and not care that he accidentally hurt me?
Q. My boyfriend was getting ready to go to work today and we were talking to each other. We both moved in closer at the same time and the brim of his hat hit my nose really hard pushing it backwards and my nose made a cracking noise. I fell back in ...
A. 30 October 2018: Honestly? He sounds like he is fed up of you causing needless drama.
I mean, come one; the brim of his hat hit your nose. What was it made of to cause you so much pain you rolled around clutching your nose for 5 minutes? Steel? Was your nose rea... (read in full...)
He doesn't believe that I am over my ex
Q. So I met this guy via a dating app 9 months ago, we messaged for about 2 months but he was wary to meet up as he was still not entirely over his last relationship. I wanted to meet him but in the end he freaked out, back tracked and asked me not to ...
A. 30 October 2018: What do you do? Thank your lucky stars you have discovered so early in your relationship that he is a flake and kick him into touch. How many times does he have to show you he is unreliable? As the saying goes, "madness is doing the same thing over ... (read in full...)
He’s a selfish date, do I get rid or give him one last chance?
Q. Why am i such an idiot. i arranged a date with a friend of mine we decided to give it a go. He messaged me to say he was home and that i can go round so i got a taxi to his and knocked on his door a few times and he didnt answer. It was late dark ...
A. 28 October 2018: I think you are being far too generous to him. He obviously doesn't value you enough to be bothered about your safety or even to be bothered to wait for you when you have made arrangements to meet.
You can't force people to care.
In your... (read in full...)
During a break I went to work on my flaws but he never took responsibility of his. Now hes forcing his way back into my life. What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I of 2 years went on a 6 week break after many rows. This was mainly due to my insecurity issues, which caused many arguments leading to the break. During the break I wanted to make a huge change in my life and went to see ...
A. 28 October 2018: I suspect my thoughts are along the same line as YOURS, otherwise you would not be asking the question.
You KNOW in your heart this guy is no good for you. You KNOW he is a manipulative bully who tries to get his own way by intimidating you. You... (read in full...)
She said no. Should I keep trying?
Q. So, I've liked somebody for a long time (2-3 years) and recently, a couple of weeks ago I decided to tell them how I felt. I've been friends with her since we first met and everybody I know was certain she was into me as well. Unfortunately I was ...
A. 28 October 2018: You are 15 at most (according to your profile). Please believe me when I tell you that you WILL feel attracted to someone else. I suspect part of the reason you don't feel any attraction to anyone else at the moment is that you have concentrated all ... (read in full...)
I'm hurt, confused, angry and betrayed.
Q. So Last night I texted my gf and asked her how it started and she said that they met at a mutual friends house and he went up to her and they started talking about regulsr shit at first. Eventually they started chatting over what...
A. 28 October 2018: She cheated on you. She broke trust between you. The anger and dreams aside, can you ever trust her 100% again? Every time she is away from you, you will be wondering where she is and, more importantly, who with.
You are too young to spend th... (read in full...)
Lover wants to stay with his children for now
Q. My lover cannot live with me just yet because he still wants to live with his children who are 21 and 19.....He said they still need him .... He doesn’t love his wife... they share no interests as a couple, just stayed married for their kids sake... ...
A. 28 October 2018: Honestly? I think you KNOW the answer. At 21 and 19, his children may still be his children but they are actually adults. Unless they have severe health/emotional problems, he really does not need to be there for them on an every day basis. Just ... (read in full...)
How can I make her my girlfriend?
Q. There is this girl I work with and I really, really like her. Her and I both started working together at the same time and she has been in 2 relationships that hadn't ended well. She knows I like her and care a lot about her, but she keeps saying ...
A. 28 October 2018: If someone tells you they don't have feelings for you, BELIEVE them. It will be a lot less painful in the long run - for BOTH of you.
There is no way of telling whether her lack of feelings for you is anything to do with her previous relation... (read in full...)
Why are these people at my gym being so weird? Do you think the guy likes me?
Q. For the past few months, a group of people who I see at the gym regularly have started paying attention to me. I have been going there for 3 years and have seen them throughout those 3 years, and they have never noticed me until now, which is ...
A. 27 October 2018: Sounds suspiciously like the "spare wheel" fancies you and the other two are egging him on to make a move on you but he is too shy. Assuming he is of a similar age to you, this is not unusual.
In your shoes I would just smile, carry on saying h... (read in full...)
Has anyone else given up a fairly long-term, comfortable relationship for something new and exciting with so much in common and a strong sexual attraction?
Q. My boyfriend and I have just passed 3 years together. We have a great life together: we laugh a lot, we support each other, we cook, we travel, we have many of the same interests and tastes. I know he loves me and I love him too, but it's always ...
A. 27 October 2018: I think the fact your friend died so young is very significant in all this. It has suddenly hit you how short life can be, how there are no guarantees of tomorrow, and you want to live life to the full. This is a totally natural and common knee-jerk ... (read in full...)
We met online I'm 18 he's 34. Is it wrong that I want to be with him?
Q. I just want opinions. I have known a man for over 3 months now. We met online, we Skype regularly, he's amazing. We talk everyday. He lives 2 hours away from me.The only thing is he is 34 and I am 18. I want to be with him so bad. Is this wro...
A. 27 October 2018: Had to laugh. Of course he makes you "feel loved". He's had nearly as many years of practice making your girls "feel loved" as you have been alive!
While age gaps do not necessarily have to be a problem, you two are at very different stages o... (read in full...)
I can't give either of them up but I know I need to in the long term.
Q. I'm in a relationship with a great man. We have our ups and downs as do any couple but he is undoubtably who I want to be with and we are on the whole very happy. However. I have been having a fling/relationship - call or what you will, with someo...
A. 27 October 2018: You already know everything people are going to say as you have said it yourself. You are cheating. Plain and simple. There is no way to justify it and no other description that is accurate. It does not help to make your main relationship better, as ... (read in full...)
I cannot tollerate my ex husband so why do I feel angry and rejected?
Q. I absolutely know that I cannot stay with my husband. We are near divorce and there are things I cannot tolerate about him. However, I still ache, I still miss the good stuff....and honestly word of his new relationship is killing me. I have ...
A. 26 October 2018: You are grieving for the lost dreams and plans, even possibly for the person you originally fell in love with (assuming you loved him at the beginning). And, as you say, you are missing the good times.
You don't really want to be with him; you... (read in full...)
My mother's controlling attitude has put a huge strain on my marriage and I was too much of a coward to deal with her. What do I do now?
Q. I dated my wife for 5 years, now we are happily married for 6 years with 4kids. My mother was ok with her the first 2 years of us being together but after that she hated my wife for no reason. My mother became jealous of our relationship then she ...
A. 24 October 2018: You need to sort out your priorities. As a married man, your priority SHOULD be the well-being of your wife and child and, hence, your marriage. If your mother is putting your wife's welfare at risk, you have two choices: either stand up to your ... (read in full...)
I need emotional support which my husband can't give me.
Q. Hi everyone.. its been months since my last post here. I had my 2 weeks old son now after long labor and he is perfect. Im the one who posted about trouble with my husband and mother in law. Things are not getting better. Im still living in my in ...
A. 24 October 2018: You cannot FORCE your husband to be anything or do anything. It has to come from him.
Could I suggest that, rather than concentrating on trying to change your husband and get him to see the error of his ways (it appears you are planning on leavi... (read in full...)
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