I'm separated and my friend of years is making subtle moves on me. What do I do?
Q. im falling out of love with my husband do to his emotional and verbal abuse.Been married for 15 years but together for 25 there is no intimacy for the last year or so.Occassional hug here or there .However he is great with our daughter relationship ...
A. 23 January 2019: Sweetheart, after so many years, your husband knows all too well what buttons to press to make you feel like shit, and that is exactly what he is doing. My response to such an idiotic comment would have been something along the lines of "Well, that ... (read in full...)
Can we get married in a church if neither of us are religious?
Q. My fiancee and I would like to get married in a church, however neither of us are religious. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this? Neither of our families are religious either. We have come across many churches locally and while ...
A. 18 January 2019: Depending on the religion, most clergy will want to interview you and your future husband, ask if you attend Sunday services, ask whether you intend to raise your children in their faith. It is not just a case of turning up, getting married and ... (read in full...)
My boss is not letting me move on from our affair
Q. I posted about a month/two back about having had an affair with boss and having ended it. He wanted to stay super secret best friends. But I’ve done a great job of only being professional with him and not interacting unless absolutely neces...
A. 17 January 2019: Have to agree with the others and say you need to concentrate your efforts on finding another job rather than on what happened. This is a good time to be searching as many people, if they are going to give up their job, hold on till after Christmas ... (read in full...)
I see his ex as a threat. Am I being silly or do I have reason to worry?
Q. I am probably being silly but my partner was married a few years ago and been divorced over ten years. He has told me that how he feels about me is far deeper than his ex wife, he said he was very unhappy with her and he looks back and knows it was ...
A. 17 January 2019: Just because they were not right for each other as husband and wife does not mean they cannot remain civil and even be friends. That is what most adults try to do.
SHE is not your problem or your enemy; your THOUGHTS are. Perhaps it might be... (read in full...)
I can't climax and I'm worried he will leave me because of it
Q. Hi, I am in need of some advice. I have been dating a really nice man for over a month. We have been intimate with him a few times. It was an amazing experience even though, I did not climax. He seemed really worried about it. Would tell me when I ...
A. 15 January 2019: Wow, no pressure then! I don't know about you, but being EXPECTED to climax would be a definite TURN-OFF for me.
Does your man realize that most women don't climax via penetration alone but need additional stimulation? Does he ensure you are turn... (read in full...)
I think my step daughter is selling nude photos of herself. How do I bring this up to her father?
Q. My husbands adult daughter can't seem to hold down a job she also has anxiety issues. I have been told she is selling nude pictures of herself online and I don't know what to do? I think she will deny it if I ask her and tell her father I am making ...
A. 15 January 2019: If you honestly want to help this lady, the only way I can see which would not upset the apple cart is to speak with HER, not her father. You need to tread carefully though as what you heard MAY be true, but it may be ill informed or malicious.
... (read in full...)
I'm separated and my friend of years is making subtle moves on me. What do I do?
Q. im falling out of love with my husband do to his emotional and verbal abuse.Been married for 15 years but together for 25 there is no intimacy for the last year or so.Occassional hug here or there .However he is great with our daughter relationship ...
A. 15 January 2019: P.S. As you and our daughter sound close, why not discuss it with her when the time is right. She sounds like she just wants you to be happy so, hopefully, she will make a good sounding board. ... (read in full...)
I'm separated and my friend of years is making subtle moves on me. What do I do?
Q. im falling out of love with my husband do to his emotional and verbal abuse.Been married for 15 years but together for 25 there is no intimacy for the last year or so.Occassional hug here or there .However he is great with our daughter relationship ...
A. 15 January 2019: Your first priority needs to be to split properly from your husband. You need to have a chat with him and see what you can do to help him move out. Despite your relationship effectively being over, he sounds reluctant/too lazy to move out. Offer to ... (read in full...)
What would my deceased boyfriend's family think of me moving on with his cousin?
Q. My sons father passed away almost two years ago and I’ve been single since then haven’t even Pursue anyone since. Recently his cousin that I’ve never met started coming around a lot lately and once we started communicating we started to like each ...
A. 15 January 2019: Do the family live close by? Will they immediately know if you start dating the cousin? If not, then I would wait to find out if the relationship has any viability. You have not even started dating yet if I understand your post correctly so, ... (read in full...)
We aren’t in a relationship yet, but I’m concerned about his sister-in-law!
Q. We are not yet really in relationship yet, we are getting close there. His brother family is living with him. Recently he told me that he feels like his brother’s wife likes him, she kept trying to be close to him. Few time she tried to hug him from ...
A. 15 January 2019: NO, NO, NO and NO again. You do NOT want someone like that for a partner. If he cannot be loyal to his own brother, he is not going to be loyal to you. He did not "fall into the SIL's trap". She did not handcuff him and force him to do anything. He ... (read in full...)
Is she The One?
Q. Okies, I really need your help with this one. I want to make this the year I sort this out. So, I have known my female friend for 10+ years and I liked her from early on. We have lived together even shared the same bed (platonically) a...
A. 15 January 2019: Your description has PLAN B screaming all over it! Sorry, but she is keeping you on a back burner for such times as she cannot do better. She knows you are hung up on her and she plays you because you stroke her ego and, in all probability, are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's 12 year old doesn't like me and boyfriend will not step in and do anything
Q. Hi I’m in a bit of a dilemma and seriously need some advice. I’ve been with my bf now for 7 months. We both love each other And have spoken frequently about marriage and living together. However here is my problem. I have met and get on ver...
A. 13 January 2019: My partner's daughter was very similar when I first got together with him. An only child, she was not at all happy that her father might give someone else attention. She was moody, sullen, rude, everything I would EXPECT a child to be who is feeling ... (read in full...)
My abusive ex occupies too much space in my head and I can't move on
Q. Hello. I ended an emotionally abusive relationship in October. He still occupies so much space in my head. I hate it. I don't know why I miss this immature person. He would mock me during arguments and smoke a lot of pot to numb himself. I know I ...
A. 13 January 2019: You haven't moved on as quickly as your ex because the relationship meant a lot more to you than it did to him. You are not as shallow or selfish as he is. We all move on at our own pace. There is no normal/average time to get over someone.
Somet... (read in full...)
I have fallen for my boyfriend's cousin and don't know what to do
Q. I was in a weird relationship with this boy , I’m 20 now he’s 24 I met him when I was 17 but it was really just a hi and bye thing he was dating my cousin at the time and they were sweet hearts . Me and him got involved when I was 18 and my cousi...
A. 13 January 2019: Being in a relationship is never going to stop you feeling attracted towards other people. However, how you choose to handle that attraction defines who you are morally.
If this boyfriend is not right for you, then finish the relation... (read in full...)
How to impress a woman on a Speed Dating event
Q. This question is mainly for men but the ladies can chime in as well. If you meet a woman for the first time and have only 5 minutes to talk what will you ask or say to her that would leave an impression on her? I am asking this because I go ...
A. 13 January 2019: Thank you for giving me permission to "chime in". You see how you got my back up straight away? You didn't even need 5 minutes! Already I am forming an opinion on why you need advice! I am saying all that tongue in cheek of course, but please take ... (read in full...)
How can I discipline myself so I can learn how to drive?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, Do you have any advice on how could I discipline myself and do what I do not want to do, but have to - learn to drive? I'm 41 and had deluded myself so far that I may somehow avoid having to get a licence. I'm otherwi...
A. 12 January 2019: I wonder what it is about driving which terrifies you so much? There are far more drivers in the world than people with degrees. I have seen people with driving licences who I have wondered at how they manage to tie their own shoe laces. If you ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the bigger person every time we argue
Q. Dear cupid, I've been wirth my boyfriend for about 2 yrs now, we live together and are very committed to each other and growing our life together. 2 nights ago we were watching a movie and there were preganant women and kids it. I'm in my early 30s ...
A. 12 January 2019: I have to ask, why ARE you trying to get him to talk about having a child if you HAVE agreed to wait 2 years before discussing it further? Is this the only time you have done this or do you make a habit of it? I do have to wonder what HIS side of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's 12 year old doesn't like me and boyfriend will not step in and do anything
Q. Hi I’m in a bit of a dilemma and seriously need some advice. I’ve been with my bf now for 7 months. We both love each other And have spoken frequently about marriage and living together. However here is my problem. I have met and get on ver...
A. 12 January 2019: Op, my response is going to sound harsh but please read to the end. I have been where you are so I do understand how difficult it is.
I usually read posts and try to guess the age of the person posting, then check and see if I was right. I got it... (read in full...)
My partner makes it out like I am thick and always wrong
Q. Hi I’m in a relationship now for 6 years but he is so annoying at times he makes out as though I am thick and I know nothing about anything im always wrong in everything I do from tidying the house up after his mess to looking after our son I work 2 ...
A. 10 January 2019: In your shoes I would turn round, look him in the face and say, very firmly and slowly, "Do NOT speak to me like that. Who the hell do you think you are?"
So he thinks he is clever because he can do maths whereas it is not one of your strength... (read in full...)
My FWB hookup told me he had decided to date me until he found out I had sex with someone else
Q. Since December 21 I've been intimate with someone. He knew I liked someone else but me being conflicted didn't know if I'd act on it or not. After our second sexual encounter I asked him if he wanted to date me he declined saying he just wanted to ...
A. 10 January 2019: Yes, all the space in the world. You know the saying, "you snooze, you lose"? Well, here is a prime example.
I very much doubt he had really decided to date you. He is just saying that because his nose has been put out of joint because - shock, h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won’t stop lying to me
Q. Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months. He just turned 19 and he goes to college 5 hours away. This isn’t a problem we started dating Way before he started college and he didn’t plan on picking a school that far away but we make it ...
A. 9 January 2019: Sweetheart, what are you getting from this relationship? You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Why are you wasting it on someone who shows you so little respect and treats you like an idiot, then turns it around to make it look like ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tries to have anal sex without my permission. Does he not respect me?
Q. I am 64 female,boyfriend is 60,seeing each other for 6 weeks now and have had amazing sex,he is much more sexually experienced and into porn very much. He tried to enter me analy without asking me and I jumped back because it really hurt,told him ...
A. 9 January 2019: Have you actually told him, when you are not in the middle of having sex, so that his brain is not being deprived of blood-flow, that you definitely do NOT want to do anal? If not, then you need to.
How does he treat you out of the bedroom?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he doesn't have time to be with me when I am sad or upset
Q. My boyfriend of 10 months has been staying away from me for a few weeks now after we had this fight. It was over the matter regarding my promotion and i was talking to him about it and got carried away talking about the promotion related other stuff ...
A. 9 January 2019: The more I read of your post, the more sympathy I felt for your boyfriend.
Sweetheart, you cannot say nasty hurtful things to someone and just expect them to act like nothing happened. You can do or say ANYTHING you want, but there is always a... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my coworker's crazy girlfriend?
Q. First off, I know I probably can't do much if anything about this, but I thought I would ask for advice anyway. Background: Recently I organized a secret gift swap for the holidays at my new job. I got my assistant manager, who is around the sa...
A. 8 January 2019: Totally agree. Block her immediately. If she mentions it, say you don't like to mix work and private life. Be polite when you meet her but always be in a hurry to get somewhere else so you don't get stuck with her. ... (read in full...)
Was I in the wrong to tell her to let my boss know? Is ending our friendship justified?
Q. So My husband works in the oil field industry and we live 12 hours away from home. We are alone in the state we are in, and have no family close by. In 2017, My husband befriended his coworker and wanted me to meet his coworkers wife so I could have ...
A. 7 January 2019: If she had any true loyalty to you as a friend, she would have kept you out of this and just done her own thing. That way she would not have compromised your position at work. Telling you about it up front and expecting you to keep quiet was totally ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend sexted a guy she knew from a dating site: Is it cheating?
Q. My girlfriend of 7 months who is 8yrs older than me have split up because I caught her Whatsapping a guy who she met on a dating website (where we met each other) recently and what turned from friendly chat, became sexting. It turns out she ha...
A. 6 January 2019: Wow, you had already had "rocky patches" in a relationship which lasted only 7 months? Walk away. You are wrong for each other.
You WERE wrong snooping on her, regardless of how you try to justify this. Unless you get a grip on that side of your ... (read in full...)
Social and dating housekeeping - how to get things your way without being "intense".
Q. I'm very triggered by people who unreliable, flakey, put you on the bench, in social and romantic situations. Say for instance people who keep their options open but keep you hanging. What is a chill way to call attention directly to the ...
A. 5 January 2019: You can't control what people do or say, or how they act towards you. Your strength lies in how you react to what is said or done.
You can do anything you want in life but you must always remember that everything you do (or don't do, in some cas... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this overwhelming friend?
Q. Hello there, I have this male friend in class. He liked me from the very beginning. Sweet guy but tries too hard to impress, is shallow in his approach to falling in love (may be due to lack of experience). I know for a fact he's smitten from att...
A. 5 January 2019: Wow! Absolutely DON'T let him meet your family or know where you live.
It is not really fair to keep him as a "friend" when you two have such obviously different agendas for your relationship. You see him as a friend, he sees you as a potentia... (read in full...)
The man I have a baby with won't commit to me.
Q. I’ve been with my daughters dad going on 7 years. We have talked about getting married but he’s never proposed or really made that step to commit. We live together and he provides for me and my daughter but when it comes to talking about getting ...
A. 5 January 2019: I think it is your developing relationship with your old flame which is driving you away from your boyfriend, just as much, if not more so than his reluctance to commit to you.
I think putting having more babies on hold for the time being is... (read in full...)
My husband and his friend have a strange relationship. Is this a cultural thing or bisexual thing?
Q. Hello I have been with my husband for two years. He is good to me and treats me well. We have culture differences and maybe that's what I am trying to understand. He has alot of friends but one is very close to him. If his Male friend joke...
A. 5 January 2019: What is your gut instinct telling you on this one? As you have taken the time and trouble to write in, you are quite obviously uncomfortable with this "relationship" between your husband and his "friend".
Does your husband work or are you supp... (read in full...)
I would like to grow this new friendship by meeting outside of that one activity, but I’m worried she will think I am trying to put the moves on her
Q. I was in a long distance relationship for about half a year. In that time, I felt lonely so I signed up for some things that interest me. During one of those things, I made a female friend who is also in a long distance relationship. Since then, we ...
A. 5 January 2019: How do you think her boyfriend would feel if he knew you two were going out for drinks together? Put yourself in his shoes and consider how you would feel if someone was doing this to YOUR long distance girlfriend. LDRs are challenging enough ... (read in full...)
Why did she cheat in this way?
Q. Hi everyone! So I recently just got out of a yearlong distance relationship with another woman. I was half her age and was the older one in the relationship and she was also the “man” as well. She lives in another country and even has a fiancé of ...
A. 5 January 2019: You've had some good answers already. I just have a couple of questions for YOU:
Why did you not think you were worth better than being someone's bit on the side?
Why are you still wasting energy worrying about this woman when she has made it ... (read in full...)
I've met a nice guy but my cheating daddy wants me back
Q. Please help me I am in such a dilemma a few months ago me and my baby daddy split up due to a lot of issues in which one of them was him cheating I am not sure if it was physical but I know for sure girls were calling him and texting him and he was ...
A. 1 January 2019: Have you considered that maybe NEITHER of these men is right for you? ... (read in full...)
He wont have sex with me and prefers porn.
Q. We have had a rough relationship. 2 years+. Hes cheated, and always put me in competition. Now we have a baby and he loves him so much, but he cheated on me when i was pregnant. Its been an abusive relationship ever since the 5th month. He ...
A. 1 January 2019: I'm totally confused by your post. On the one hand you state the relationship has been abusive for the majority of its duration, yet on the other hand you appear to be the one giving HIM a hard time because you want sex but he doesn't. Having to ... (read in full...)
My friends are all so busy enjoying themselves they forget about me.
Q. 2018 was a difficult year but unfortunately I have realised I have no real friends. What would you do in the situation when you feel like you have no true friends. 2018 has been tough time with family issues, and finances however I feel like beca...
A. 1 January 2019: There is a saying which is, very sadly, too often true: laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone.
People, especially young people, are too often so busy living their own lives that they forget about others who may be going th... (read in full...)
Should I take note of our horoscopes? The Chinese one says we are incompatible!
Q. This probably seems silly but I have been reading Chinese horoscopes and compatability with my boyfriend and they say we are not suited. It says his soul mate Chinese animal was a horse and his ex wife was one, yet my animal is the least compatible ...
A. 31 December 2018: Even if you believe in all that nonsense, does THIS not tell you anything? "his soul mate Chinese animal was a horse and his ex wife was one". She is now his EX wife.
So, on the most basic level, you believe you are compatible with a 12th of ... (read in full...)
Does he like me more than a FWB?
Q. 2 Months ago, a man and I arranged to "Hook up" after matching on Tinder, things went well. Afterwards, I carried on as usual, assuming It was just a "One night stand". 2 weeks after our "Hook up" He had asked me to become his Friends With ...
A. 30 December 2018: I do wonder why you would not ask HIM the question? What are you afraid of?
To ME it is obvious you two are far MORE than FWB but you both sound afraid to discuss your relationship, which is strange given that you "have deep and meaningf... (read in full...)
I know I deserve better, so why am I so sad?
Q. I'm angry and sad. 5 days before I'm supposed to move into an apartment with my boyfriend he gets cold feet and tells me he doesn't think it's a good idea and says he wants to end the relationship. He confesses to me that he couldn't be hims...
A. 30 December 2018: The fact it was your first relationship is definitely significant. If you had been through a break-up before, you would have something to compare your loss to and you would know you will get through this.
When we split up with someone, it is no... (read in full...)
Accused of being antisocial for turning down a guy?
Q. My dad loves to accuse me of being anti social and saying "that's why you have no friends". We were at a friends place and there is a single guy there who I see a couple times a year. We aren't friends (acquaintances) and we do not share interests. ...
A. 30 December 2018: Do your family like your boyfriend? Are they, by any chance, trying to separate you from him by throwing you at other guys?
As an adult, you do not need your family's approval of what you do on a social level or who you socialize with. Why woul... (read in full...)
He constantly needs reassuring and I am being turned off by it!
Q. Hi so I started seeing a guy about a month ago, he is lovely but lives like 400 miles away! I really fell for him, and him me, but he seems borderline obsessed with me, he got me presents for Xmas very sweet I thought, but he is very insecure and ...
A. 29 December 2018: I had a friend just like him a few years ago. She would "overthink" conversations and start the next conversation with, "So, I've been brooding about what you said . . . ". At first I would discuss what was bothering her and reassure her that it was ... (read in full...)
Should I stay friends with her?
Q. My close friend really confuses me sometimes. When we get too close she pushes me away...when i go far, she pulls me close. Intially we used to talk a lot over phone chats etc. Now she says she doesnt like it. She used to get jealous of other people ...
A. 29 December 2018: She sounds like a tease of the worst sort. She's happy to flirt with you but strictly on her terms.
Let me ask YOU a question: what are yo getting out of this friendship?
I think you have both outgrown this friendship and need to move on ... (read in full...)
My new job demands much more of my time! Any advice?
Q. Three weeks ago I started a job in my career path that I’ve been praying for for a long time now. Great location for me, benefits, union, pay is good, the whole nine yards. I feel so overwhelming blessed for me and my family. The only downside to ...
A. 29 December 2018: You can either have a career or you can have a continuous social life. You need to decide what is important to you at this stage of your life. In a perfect world you could have both, but we don't live in a perfect world. Everything is about ... (read in full...)
He constantly needs reassuring and I am being turned off by it!
Q. Hi so I started seeing a guy about a month ago, he is lovely but lives like 400 miles away! I really fell for him, and him me, but he seems borderline obsessed with me, he got me presents for Xmas very sweet I thought, but he is very insecure and ...
A. 28 December 2018: If you are already being turned off by his behaviour, ask yourself if you want another month, year or more of this? Of course you don't.
If you really would like to give this relationship a chance, you need to spell it out to this guy that you... (read in full...)
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