New boyfriend gets upset because I wont let him move in.
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 11 months now. Previously married for 5 years. Our relationship has been rocky to say the least but we have come to a crossroads suddenly. He lives with his mom and they are getting evicted. He isn’t working at ...
A. 7 December 2018: You have only been dating a relatively short while, you have already told him you do NOT want him moving in with you and your relationship has been "rocky". The fact that he is losing his home does not make him YOUR responsibility. He cannot make ... (read in full...)
Is it possible we "love" each other?
Q. Hi. I've been married since 1995,and we get along fine, but I met this lady "B" at work in 2004. Without meaning to, we became very close even though she was engaged to someone I knew. Nothing actually happened because she was my boss, but everyone ...
A. 5 December 2018: Perhaps you should ask your wife for her opinion on this? Interesting that you don't even really mention your relationship, except in passing. How would you feel if she was having the same sort of relationship as you are having?
Given the energy y... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh on my 17 year old daughter? How do I deal with her?
Q. I am having trouble with my 17 year old daughter. We've recently returned from a trip to Europe and are jet lagging. It being the weekend, I texted her at 11am to see what she wanted for lunch. She replied that she was still sleeping. At 2pm she ...
A. 5 December 2018: Amazing how your second post completely changed what I thought! I ASSUMED your daughter's father was not in the picture, that you were home all the time and that you were making up to her for her father not being around. All totally incorrect ... (read in full...)
Is this a sex addiction?
Q. Hello. I think I am sex crazed. I want to have sex all the time. When I get home from work. In the morning. When we are showering. And when we are out, all i think about is how I can't wait to go home and have sex. We are both extremely sex...
A. 2 December 2018: It sounds to me like you are a perfect normal young lady in a new relationship. You have been lucky enough to find someone who turns you on and knows which buttons to press to make you enjoy sex, hence your enthusiasm.
Just one word of caution:... (read in full...)
I work as a cam girl but don't want my boyfriend watching other cam girls
Q. I work as a cam girl on a website. This is actually my second job to make extra cash. My boyfriend was aware of this before we started dating. Few days back he thought that since I was working as a cam girl it made it ok for him to join one of t...
A. 2 December 2018: I suspect this may be your boyfriend's way of bringing this to a head. He is obviously not happy with your part time job so is trying to make you see how it feels for him.
How important is this relationship to you? Do you envisage it being lo... (read in full...)
I feel like I need her permission to leave the relationship. Is she crazy?
Q. Hi everyone, I need advice about a girl who I think is totally crazy. I am 26 and she is 33. Bit of an age gap but she seemed very nice so i thought i'd give her a chance. I decided now I don't want to be with her but I want to know if I did an...
A. 1 December 2018: In your shoes I would tell her VERY FIRMLY that you are NOT in a relationship with her and you do NOT want ANY contact with her at all. It is quite obviously not going to work being "just friends" with this bunny boiler.
I am assuming the only... (read in full...)
Trying to force me to have an abortion but still seeming to care.
Q. I have been in an on - off relationship for 2.5 years, mostly on, and very passionate. The man in question is an MD of a large company, but had just finished with his wife of 20 years when we started our relationship. He told me that they had been ...
A. 30 November 2018: The decision on whether to have another abortion is yours and yours alone. It does sound like you have discounted it though, so your only other options are to give the child up for adoption or to raise it as a single parent, as this man does not ... (read in full...)
Heartbreak - What are your best ways of getting over it?
Q. Hi there, Thank you for choosing my post and taking the time to respond. I ended it with a guy I had been with for two years, after he was abusive and disloyal. Simple question - how do I get over it quickly? I hate heartache so much and he...
A. 28 November 2018: You are effectively in mourning. Not for him - you KNOW you are well rid - but for the person you thought he was initially and the person you wished him to be later on. You are also mourning the loss of the future you thought you had together and of ... (read in full...)
I married the man I was having an affair with and I am struggling with trust issues, and feeling anxious and worried everyday he will cheat on me.
Q. My husband left his former wife to marry me. I know that it does not usually end up this way and that we are in the minority but we fell in love. We have been together almost 5 years. He dissolved his marriage after 3 years of our being together and ...
A. 27 November 2018: Sorry sweetheart but, if you won him by cheating, you will lose him to cheating. Leopards and spots come to mind. Why would he treat you any better than his first wife? So you "fell in love"? Just like him and his first wife then? And just like him ... (read in full...)
I want to end the relationship but I'm scared I'm pregnant
Q. Hi I’m in a relationship for 6 years we have a 3 yr old son lately all I think about is ending the relationship I’m not happy at all he does nothing for our child I do everything in the house I go to work and I look after our son the problem is I’m ...
A. 24 November 2018: You have decided you want to end this relationship, so end it. Then find out IF you are pregnant; this is no time for guess work. IF you are pregnant, you need to make a decision quickly on what you are going to do about it. Even if you separate, ... (read in full...)
My husband expects me to give him money to send home to his family every month
Q. Hello and thank you My husband and I have been married for two years. He is a charming man, shows affections and can be very expressive. I do love him , I just don’t like some traits he has. He doesn’t like to be questioned, and he gets ange...
A. 24 November 2018: You do realize that the "real man" and the "face" are the other way round to how you choose to see them, don't you? By that I mean that the "real" man is the one who gets angry if you do not obey his word, who disrespects you and uses you as a meal ... (read in full...)
We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me
Q. After 20 yrs of marriage my husband asks for threesome, after two yrs we finally tell my friend that she is our threesome girl, my husband was madly in love with me, then I hear that she is coming over to visit during the day to smoke, then I notice ...
A. 24 November 2018: Your story should serve as a warning to anyone else who is considering involving a third party in what should be a two-party relationship. We hear of this sort of outcome time and time again, yet people still think THEY can handle it, that THEY will ... (read in full...)
New job but ridiculous ongoing hoops. What should I do?
Q. So I just started a new job a week ago. I was told my background check wasn’t completely back yet, but to go ahead and start on my scheduled date. Today, I’m called into HR and told that there was a date discrepancy with an employer from 4 years ag...
A. 23 November 2018: I suppose it depends on how badly you want the job. If you have jumped through so many "hoops" already, then I am assuming you want this job quite badly. If you stand your ground and refuse to provide what they have requested, could they terminate ... (read in full...)
What could be going on with this guy?
Q. So last year I was meeting this guy for a while (about 2 months) and to my shock he told me that he was going to prison. He had gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd something to do with drugs and he got sentenced. We agreed to not talk whilst he’s ...
A. 23 November 2018: I have more questions than answers I'm afraid.
1. Do you know for a fact he was in prison? Could it have been he was in another relationship but wanted to keep you on the back burner in case things didn't work out?
2. If his original story w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend doesn't like me and is trying hard to get him away from me
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for around six months. I have a 16 month old son so things have gotten pretty serious between the pair of us. The relationship is great and he’s going to propose at Christmas. However his best friend never li...
A. 21 November 2018: If your boyfriend and his mate are of a similar age to you, then I suspect it will be that his friend doesn't want to lose his drinking buddy. He knows, no matter what you say, once you and your boyfriend are engaged, and ultimately married, their ... (read in full...)
She's 18, I'm 25. Am I a creep for talking to her?
Q. I've been doing some online speed dating to fire up my social life. Recently I met a girl (and fellow foodie). It was almost too easy to small talk my way to a date this Thursday. The problem is, she is 18... She just finished highschool and is ...
A. 21 November 2018: Why would you view yourself as a creep for talking to a young adult woman? Is it the "just out of school" thing which is freaking you out a bit, or the fact that she is still a teenager?
Go on your date. You may find you have little in common a... (read in full...)
How do I stop thinking that my boyfriend's ex wife was the love of his life even though he says otherwise?
Q. Hi, probably seems silly but I have an amazing boyfriend who I know loves me and vice versa but many years ago when he was only 20 he met and married someone. He tells me he was young and silly, didn't love her age regrets the years he wasted ...
A. 21 November 2018: I think you need to make lots of happy memories together to erase the images you have in your head. I am sure you must have a lot already, but you need to keep making more.
Why would you think your boyfriends ex was the love of his life when she... (read in full...)
Did my date make up this fake story just to get a reaction out of me?
Q. ive got a date lined up for this weekend. The guy i have been speaking to seems nice and not fake. Weve seen each others social media and have spoken on the phone. Today he texted me with a very strange message. He said last night he got a call off ...
A. 21 November 2018: You don't know enough about this guy to make a judgement either way on this incident. If you carry on dating, keep this locked away in the memory bank in case this sort of thing happens again and it is his way of trying to "catch you out", in which ... (read in full...)
Waiting to hear outcomes of interview - too soon to follow up?
Q. Hi all I attended an interview for executive assistant on Monday which went really well. I was told a member of the panel was on leave straight afterwards until Friday so I would hear back then. It's now Monday and I haven't heard anything. ...
A. 20 November 2018: How rude. I would think twice about even wanting to work for a company who don't have the courtesy to even write to people who have made the time to attend interviews. Rude, inconsiderate and shows how you would be treated as an employee.
You d... (read in full...)
He's extremely possessive and mentally abusive but I still love him. Advice please!!
Q. Hi. I am new to this so very nervous. I really need some advice about my partner. I have been with him for just over a year and I feel like I can't do anything right. He mentally abuses me constantly..well this is what I'm guessing it is?! He will ...
A. 20 November 2018: Just because he has nowhere to else to live does not mean he cannot FIND somewhere else to live. However, he must realize you MEAN IT when you tell him he has to go.
Check out with Citizens' Advice what your legal rights are and how to go about... (read in full...)
Waiting to hear outcomes of interview - too soon to follow up?
Q. Hi all I attended an interview for executive assistant on Monday which went really well. I was told a member of the panel was on leave straight afterwards until Friday so I would hear back then. It's now Monday and I haven't heard anything. ...
A. 20 November 2018: I don't think there is any harm in calling and just asking if there is any news. It shows you are enthusiastic. In my experience, these things always take longer than planned.
Good luck. I hope the news is good. ... (read in full...)
I think he's going through a midlife crisis he went to Thailand and met a girl and he doesn't know that I know
Q. I have been dating a man for over a year who has just recently gone through a divorce. (Nothing to do with me). I felt he used me as a punching bag as he was very angry about the divorce although I knew he loved me. He stopped speaking to me f...
A. 19 November 2018: I have so many question, my mind is buzzing.
Which part of his behaviour makes you believe he loves/loved you? Why do you think you do not deserve to be treated WAY better than this? Why are you making excuses for his inexcusable behaviou... (read in full...)
Been out a few times but I got Cancelled on, was this the right response?
Q. As the title said, we've been out a few times already. Hasn't really been much of a spark but it seems like given time it could go somewhere. However this last time I asked her out I was cancelled on, not last minute but still cancelled on ...
A. 18 November 2018: I think you handled it just right. You left the door open in case the cancellation was for a genuine reason and she would actually like to see you again, but you didn't press it.
However, I do wonder why, at your young age, you would keep see... (read in full...)
He has been texting someone he met in a dating site
Q. I've been with my Other Half (OH) for 2 years and have really felt as though he is the one. I've trusted him completely and yet the other day, when I silenced an alarm on his phone, I see Facebook messages between him and another woman that he ...
A. 18 November 2018: What do you do? You kick his selfish cheating ar$e out the door and find yourself someone who respects and loves you, but this guy sure as hell does neither. Why would you even want to be with him when he is just keeping you on a back burner while ... (read in full...)
Why is my coworker acting hot and cold?
Q. There is a male co-worker, "John", that works in another department. When I first started, I thought that he was cute and funny. He seemed kind of shy and wouldn't talk to me when we were alone, only when other people were around. One time he came ...
A. 17 November 2018: It sounds like he may have some sort of social anxieties. As long as his behaviour does not impact on your work, then I would push it out of your mind. If it does affect your work, the you need to have a word with your line manager.
It's never a ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable asking him not to meet up with an old flame?
Q. Hello Cupids I have been with my partner for six years and living together for three. Yesterday he told me that he has been meeting up with a woman he sort of used to see and I'm not sure how to take it. We all met in university, and the pair ...
A. 17 November 2018: Why would you turn down the chance of a double date with his lady and her husband-to-be? This is your chance to get a closer look at them together and make a more informed decision on whether anything is going on between them. I would say that, as ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend throw my things away without even asking me!
Q. My boyfriend keeps throwing my things away without asking me or, worse, even after I have told him not to. We live in a relatively small flat and don’t have a lot of space so he thinks it’s ok to just throw things away that he thinks are taking up ...
A. 17 November 2018: Was it HIS flat before you moved in? How long have you lived together? Is he used to living on his own? Is he fanatically tidy? All these things could be relevant to his behaviour.
With the coupons etc, I would make a point of putting them in ... (read in full...)
He insists he has changed, can it be true? Or is this all a front to win me back?
Q. I recently posted a question a few weeks ago about my situtation of after a long break apart, my ex boyfriend is claiming and insisting he is a changed man. We have met up occasionally as "dates" which often led to dicussing our relationship and set ...
A. 16 November 2018: You have a gut instinct for good reason. For crying out loud, listen to it. And secondly but just a importantly, stop messing this guy around. Unless you are wanting to get back with him, stop going on "dates" with him. It gives him false ... (read in full...)
I need to tell my family that I was duped!
Q. Hi All. Please bear with as this is quite complicated. So I’m 30 years old, had a few relationships before my current one. This time i thought it was never going to end. We have been living together for 4 years. He is of a different race religi...
A. 14 November 2018: It is entirely YOUR choice on how much or how little you tell your family. It is also your choice on HOW you tell them. You can tell them between sobs and tears, or you can just shrug nonchalantly and say, "Heh, it didn't work out. Time to move on." ... (read in full...)
My LDR knows all about me while I know very little about him.
Q. Hi! In need of some opinions on my long distance relationship. I'll give you the backstory: We've been together for almost a year now, meeting on a dating app but didn't date right away. At the time we were matched, I learned that he was just in the ...
A. 14 November 2018: I'm sorry but I don't think you should ever have to fight for a relationship in the beginning. If it was the case that you and he had years of shared history and/or children, then yes, fight for the relationship. However, at the beginning you should ... (read in full...)
How to get him to see the urgency for a house and a family?
Q. I have been with my husdand for just over 6 years and we are newly wed only married for 5 months. I find I am increasingly getting down and upset as we have been living in a caravan for 5 years together on his parents farm and we now have a good ...
A. 14 November 2018: Buying a house is not a "permanent" thing. If you don't like the neighbours, you can always sell the house and buy another. The decision is not irreversible.
Perhaps looking for a house which doesn't have too many immediate neighbours may help... (read in full...)
He's extremely possessive and mentally abusive but I still love him. Advice please!!
Q. Hi. I am new to this so very nervous. I really need some advice about my partner. I have been with him for just over a year and I feel like I can't do anything right. He mentally abuses me constantly..well this is what I'm guessing it is?! He will ...
A. 14 November 2018: What is it you love about him? There is nothing in your post that gives a clue to this. He is controlling. He is possessive. He is manipulative. Believe me when I say, HE does not love YOU. You are just there to be moulded into someone who will keep ... (read in full...)
Worst mistake of my life!! Don’t know what to do
Q. I’m in the worst situation I could ever be in in my life I’ve made the biggest mistake ever and now I don’t know what to do I am suffering badly! I am 14 weeks pregnant but ended up cheating the night before I found out I was pregnant I know how bad ...
A. 12 November 2018: It is YOUR choice in the end whether you tell your boyfriend or not. Despite what some people have commented, I am not suggesting and have never suggested you "sweep this under the carpet". I just feel no good can come of telling your boyfriend what ... (read in full...)
How to get him to see the urgency for a house and a family?
Q. I have been with my husdand for just over 6 years and we are newly wed only married for 5 months. I find I am increasingly getting down and upset as we have been living in a caravan for 5 years together on his parents farm and we now have a good ...
A. 12 November 2018: Is it that your husband has just got into a rut of living in the caravan, or does he have genuine concerns about buying a house? Perhaps he is worried about the mortgage, or about moving away from his parents? Or perhaps he is worried about starting ... (read in full...)
He wants to be friends only!
Q. I have been seeing a guy on and off for around 10 months, we’ve never gotten past the casual first stage due to him not being ready and so there have been gaps where we haven’t seen each other and dated other people, however always seem to come ...
A. 12 November 2018: Stay "friends" if you want to keep repeating what you have been doing for the past 10 months, because that is what will happen.
If you two haven't managed to make a decent go of things in 10 months, it's time to stop tying up each other's ... (read in full...)
I don’t know if I should date my coworker!
Q. UI think I know the answer to this, but I’m looking for someone to confirm that I’m doing the right thing. I’ve been in my current job for a year, and have sat right next to a man who is around my age. He’s not my normal type physically, but ...
A. 12 November 2018: I too think this is not the best idea.
You desire to talk through your concerns is possibly a good way of explaining why you are reluctant to date him. I would also soften the blow by saying that, if one or both of you ever changes employer... (read in full...)
The girls I want to date end up dating other guys!
Q. Hi everyone! This isn't such a serious situation, just looking for some advice and guidance. I met a girl a few weeks ago, we exchanged numbers and she went back to her city 2 hours away. We chatted every day, she flirted a lot and we had a g...
A. 12 November 2018: Perhaps she got bored of just chatting? If you had such a good connection, why did you not ask her out? Why did you not suggest meeting up half way between where you both live?
If this girl is looking for someone to date, she could have come to ... (read in full...)
I'm not in lov with him but scared of his reaction if I tell him.
Q. How do you break up with someone your not in love with without hurting them?I think my new boyfriend is obsessed with me and something just doesn't feel right. About a year ago I had a hurtful breakup with my ex boyfriend of 3 years who I deep...
A. 11 November 2018: You can't force yourself to love him if you simply can't. To be honest, the temper and controlling tendencies should be sufficient to make anyone question the viability of the relationship. You are right to want to get out. You know you NEED to get ... (read in full...)
Worst mistake of my life!! Don’t know what to do
Q. I’m in the worst situation I could ever be in in my life I’ve made the biggest mistake ever and now I don’t know what to do I am suffering badly! I am 14 weeks pregnant but ended up cheating the night before I found out I was pregnant I know how bad ...
A. 11 November 2018: First of all, acknowledge and accept NOBODY is perfect. We all make mistakes from time to time. You made a BIG mistake but that does not make you evil or cheap or disgusting. It makes you human and fallible. Stop being so hard on yourself. You have ... (read in full...)
I've got a crush on the check out chck!
Q. Over the last couple of months i have been getting very friendly with a girl who works on the checkout at my local supermarket. We chat a lot and share lots of eye contact, and when i am walking away with my trolley after paying i look back and she ...
A. 11 November 2018: Pass her your phone number on a piece of paper and say something like "If you ever fancy a chat, give me a call" and leave it at that. When/if she phones you, you can take it from there.
Good luck. ... (read in full...)
Should I be strong and not burden people with my problems?
Q. I'm really upset but wondering if I have every right to be or if my boyfriend was spot on and I need to get a grip. I have two children with my ex, we were together 8 years but then he cheated with his now wife. They got married within months of...
A. 11 November 2018: I have one question: how do your poor daughters cope with all this drama? If their father's new wife is so volatile that she punches holes in doors (she sounds like the worst sort of thug), they must be very scared when her temper goes.
While... (read in full...)
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