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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Was this Band member being sincere? Did he mean it when he said contact him again? Should I?
Q. The other night I went to see one of my favorite bands play in a tiny bar in a tiny town, so there really wasnt anyone there. I'm only visiting here so I went alone. I ended up talking to one of the members at the bar, and we totally hit it off....
A. 13 March 2012: Amen to the first poster.
Approach with caution. Lots of people are trustworthy, but not everybody is worth your trust. Never, EVER trust a stranger, even if they seem genuine. As someone who works with actors all day, everyday - there are a lo... (read in full...)
Have you ever smelled a perfume that enticed you?
Q. This question is for Women, but men are welcome too. Have you ever smelled a perfume that enticed you? ...
A. 11 March 2012: By perfume, you mean cologne?
Absolutely. For me, cologne is a total turn on. I know that some women aren't crazy about it, but the right cologne can turn me into a drooling mess. I'm not crazy about musks, and not Axe or other body sprays. ... (read in full...)
I want to ask out my crush that I've been working with
Q. Hi there! I'm asking my crush out for a date (she's 18) and could really use some help... I'm 19 but I haven't had much experience with dating. I was a loner in highschool and I had really poor social skills, but over the past year I've made a lot ...
A. 10 March 2012: If you have money, you could always get a taxi... or meet up somewhere and take the bus together?
When you two go out - you'll just have to figure that one out yourself. Look at your schedules and find mutual time off. Do you go to the same sch... (read in full...)
I don't think I should go out with this boy because people will pick on us!
Q. well hello agony aunts I am new as you can see and I'm pretty sure i will ask you a lot more questions in the future: but here is my question: it's this boy that i like a lot i liked him for 3 and 1/2 years i like him and he like me.i know he lik...
A. 16 February 2012: You don't have to forget about him!! You're just really new to this dating universe and maybe you aren't quite ready yet. Don't worry about what other people say, never for the rest of your life worry about what people that don't matter think!
... (read in full...)
Is it possible for an interracial relationship to be successful?
Q. Could it be possible for a black girl and a white guy to have a succesful relationship? Or is the cultural differences too much? I'm an African American girl and i've being thinking of going out with this guy i'm in college with but i've asked a ...
A. 11 February 2012: Well, my parents have been married for 25 years and they're Black/White. I'm married now to a white fella, and it's been great.
It's not about your skin color. It's about who you are, whether you're compatible and whether he makes you happy, ... (read in full...)
How can I hint to him not to get me silver as I'm allergic to it?
Q. hi there agony aunts and uncles, thanks for the good advice i have had from you with problems i have put on here, and also helped everytime, im just wanting to know and i feel a little cheeky saying this, but how do i hint to my boyfriend of nearly ...
A. 27 January 2012: "Hey, are you allergic to anything?"
(He answers... "Shellfish, llamas, strawberries, etc.")
"I didn't know that about you! I'm allergic to silver, isn't that weird? Anytime I wear silver, my ears puff up like little blowfish!"
I... (read in full...)
He said if things ever go wrong between him and his girlfriend I'd be first on his list. I don't like second-best but I like him so much. Help!
Q. For the first time in my life i beleive i have finally meet someone that i acutally fancy which is really rare for me. Ive been talking to him now for about a month and hes great, hes got a great personality hes a dab hand at ...
A. 27 January 2012: Don't let him have his cake and eat it too. I wouldn't settle for being the back up girlfriend or the consolation prize. If he really likes you and wants to do the honorable thing, he'll dump his girlfriend. But, if he wants to stay with her - ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about gettin waxed down there
Q. I'd like to get my hair " down there " waxed lol, but i'm too embarassed about a stranger seeing my private parts, and how much hair there is there lol. I'm also worried about it hurting. How can i feel more comfortable about having it done ?. Also, ...
A. 27 January 2012: Hi sweet,
Getting waxes is awkward - the first time I went in and who was my waxer? This woman I knew from my CHURCH who had a son I was friends with. And then the son called during the wax and she said, "oh, that's (__her son, my friend__... (read in full...)
I don't like men, but people want me to find one and get married!
Q. well, here is the thing. i know i am bisexual, more close to lesbian than straight, and i'm totally ok with myself. but from my family, my brother knows, my father might know(he might have seen me with a girl) and my mom is completely homophobic, ...
A. 9 January 2012: Flynn is totally right. This is just what families do. They irritate the hell out of all of the Singletons by endlessly asking "when are you going to get married?", "can I set you up with my accountant?", "have any dates this week?".
Prett... (read in full...)
We are so much alike but I think she's going for my roommate!
Q. Hi everybody I am having a lot of stuff in my mine about this situation. I just get to know a girl 2 years older than i am thru one of mine roommate. she is the most beautiful girl i've ever seen and also really smart too. we have a lot in common l...
A. 6 January 2012: I think that is probably the best thing you could do. A good choice! ... (read in full...)
Tips for new and exciting sex?
Q. Hi everyone! I'm going out of town for a vacation with my boyfriend next week. He's been out of the country for 3 months for work, and what I'm looking for are some tips for some new and exciting sex. Mostly to the men out there, what is somethin...
A. 5 January 2012: To spice things up, I think adding in a silk scarf does the trick. It's a versatile little boudoir buddy, you could blindfold him, lightly tie his hands together, tease him with it... get creative! It can be something super sexy and seductive. Give ... (read in full...)
We are so much alike but I think she's going for my roommate!
Q. Hi everybody I am having a lot of stuff in my mine about this situation. I just get to know a girl 2 years older than i am thru one of mine roommate. she is the most beautiful girl i've ever seen and also really smart too. we have a lot in common l...
A. 5 January 2012: Hi there,
I say talk to your roommate. Ask him if there's anything going on between them. Careful how you tread, you don't want him getting defensive or worried that you'll step in on his girl, but he'll probably be able to clear up any question... (read in full...)
My BF will flip out over this. But was unacceptable for my coworker to give me, and the others, a quick hug?
Q. Ok. So heres my question, please give me your opinions/advice whatever it may be! So today everyone in the office bought a gift we all contributed to for a male coworker. He gave everyone a quick hug, male and female. I know my boyfriend wouldn...
A. 1 January 2012: Your co-worker was not at all inappropriate. If your boyfriend flips, he is the one out of line. If he is really this insecure and possessive, I think you really need to step back and examine this relationship for what it really is. A relationship ... (read in full...)
Another girl calls my b/f babe and he doesn't do anything about it
Q. Hello, well this isn't going to be long, but theres this girl who always calls my boyfriend babe, through messages, and it annoys me, i asked him why dont you do something about it, and he said theres no point. I dont do that tho only person i call ...
A. 28 December 2011: I wouldn't worry about it - she could just tend to call everyone by pet names. I know I do. I don't mean anything by it, it's just like a diner waitress: "Can I getcha anything, hon?" Or upper class snoots: "Why hello, Reginald, my darling." Or me: ... (read in full...)
Do guys find black hair attractive in girls?
Q. i know this is a random question but i just want to see what everyones opinion was, mostly from a guys perspective. Of course a lot of guys like or "love" blondes then theres the burnettes and red heads. what about the girls with black hair? in my ...
A. 28 December 2011: I'm a lady, straight - but I find that black hair is the most stunning, gorgeous hair. I can't speak from a man's perspective, but as a simple aesthetic viewer - black hair is sleek, sexy and goes with every outfit. ... (read in full...)
Did he take advantage of my (now shattered) feelings? And how do I get over this?
Q. I have this casual friend whom I met after 3 years. He is studying in a good law school. It was a surprise meet and we talked for 3-4 days. Then I felt that I like spending time with him and would like to give this relationship a shot. I told him ...
A. 26 December 2011: I'm not sure why you feel regret and guilt. Is it that you regret going out with him in the first place (or allowing a second date)? Do you feel guilty because... you allowed yourself to get in that situation? It seems to me that this situation s... (read in full...)
I fell asleep while talking to the guy, do I contact him or wait for him to contact me?
Q. I'm terrible at this dating thing. So I gave this guy my number and we spent all last night talking, before I so nicely fell asleep on him (i felt really bad after that.) So this is my stupid question..Do I text him first or wait till he get's in...
A. 17 December 2011: I'd text him, if you fell asleep on the conversation! He may be waiting for you to contact him, he might think you find him boring or aren't interested. So, I'd ease his mind by contacting him and letting him know that falling asleep was an ... (read in full...)
My ex didn't wish me a happy birthday and it really hurts me!
Q. Why do I feel so upset about this? am I overreacting? So is my birthday today and my ex boyfriend didn't even wish me a happy birthday. He dumped me saying he didn't want a relationship. But I found out he lied and cheated on me. On ...
A. 17 December 2011: How about this? Your birthday gift is that he didn't say happy birthday and you got confirmation that he really is the lousy scumbag that you are free from! He doesn't deserve your friendship, and you don't deserve to be emotionally tormented by ... (read in full...)
Dumped for seeing my ex in a group. Is that fair?
Q. Last night i went to a Christmas party with a group of my friends (about 4 girls and 2 guys). We went to a movie at the theater and then to a girl's house and played games and such. My boyfriend (ex now) knew what we were doing because i told h...
A. 11 December 2011: You did nothing wrong, your (now ex) boyfriend should be left as an ex! You were not on a date, you were in a group, he knew what you were doing and you did nothing wrong. Did you have ulterior motives towards your ex or anything? It doesn't sound ... (read in full...)
Is my love of Peter Pan healthy?
Q. Ok so this might not be an appropriate question for this site, but I've recieved a lot of good advice on here, so I hope it will help. So, when I was little, I LOVED peter pan. I watched the cartoon version almost everyday, and hoped and prayed h...
A. 11 December 2011: You got good advice. You're young, normal, I think we all had crushes on a fictional character at one point. There is just one thing that was left out...
I just suggest looking at Michael Jackson for "When a Peter Pan Obsession Goes Terribly... (read in full...)
I have a feeling that my bf is gay! Appreciate your thoughts...
Q. My boyfriend and I are finally dating after knowing each other for 8 years. We had a bit of a blurred relationship in the past where we were having sex but not officially together. We were both to blame. He says it was due to his social anxiety ...
A. 9 December 2011: These are all very superficial reasons for thinking someone is gay - no offense. But you're stereotyping severely!
He's attracted to you, a female, he initiates, gets hard and enjoys sex with you, a female. Sounds into women to me!
If you ... (read in full...)
Best friend and I like the same girl. She likes me. Do I ask her out and betray my friend?
Q. I really like this girl and she told me she liked me but the problem is that my best friend likes this girl too and everyone knows that he does. Everyone also knows that this girl likes me but almost noone knows I like her. So here's the situatio...
A. 9 December 2011: You should talk to your best friend! The worst thing you could do would be to go behind your friends back and ask her out. That's no good! So, you should be honest with him and tell him you like this girl too. If he liked her first, you should at ... (read in full...)
Can I have some advice on how not to stress and how to stay motivated to work this hard on my studies?
Q. I'm a teenager in high school and I feel so stressed. I have a lot of homework which keeps me up longer than I want to be and every assignment affects my grades dramatically. It feels like I can never take a break from school sometimes and I hate...
A. 7 December 2011: Well, here's some good news. High school is the worst because of all the homework. In college, you don't have that same sort of night-by-night homework. I've found that generally you have 3-4 exams and a term paper per class. A lot of reading, but ... (read in full...)
In person he has a great personality. But am I wasting my time? Because texting or by phone he can be boring.
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm dating this guy who goes to a different school then me. I really like him when we are together in person. Yet, we we can't see each other and are just texting or on the phone when he is the most boring person in the world. This f...
A. 5 December 2011: My husband is the same way. He SUCKS on the phone, just hates it - and by text he's concise, business like and not too much fun. But in person, we have a great time and that's what counts. The phone stuff really doesn't matter in the long run.
... (read in full...)
Art and Design or Business and Enterprise? Which one to choose?
Q. Basically long story short i need help choosing one more subject for me to do for the next two years. In two years time i will be having a series of massive exams called GCSE'S. Depending on the results ...
A. 1 December 2011: I faced a (sorta) similar dilemma. My passion and talent is in the theater, but I guess I wanted a solid backup plan and to make myself a double threat in the business world. So, while it took an additional two years, double-majoring was worth it. ... (read in full...)
Is he telling me the truth about working in Porn films? Or just saying it to shock me? How should I react?
Q. well at this moment in time im very confused! I've been seeing this guy for a while now and i knew he had a bit of a strange past since the beginning! but he has told told me he used to film porn movies and has also had sex with porn stars......
A. 28 November 2011: You react honestly and listen to your heart. If your feelings have not changed and you believe that this new-found fact about him won't conflict with your happiness together with him, then you're good to go. If you think this part of his life is too ... (read in full...)
Does his comment actually mean anything because of ellipses in it
Q. I invited an old flame out for a coffee next time he was up near where I lived. I didn't get a response until he accidentially posted a comment on my status page on facebook which was meant for someone else. I private messaged him the next day to ...
A. 27 November 2011: Eh, some people use ellipses on the end of a sentence pretty casually. I don't think it really means anything... ... (read in full...)
If my friend never pays heed to my advice, then why does she ask?? She hangs out with me when her B/f dumps her, and ignores me when they get back together!
Q. I have a female friend, whose boyfriend is best friends with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have a healthier relationship than they do in that we give eachother loads of space. They dont go to college so they are together everyday, practically ...
A. 27 November 2011: Yeah, I think everyone has a friend like this. Comes to you for advice, never listens, you keep telling them the same thing over and over and over and they say "yeah, yeah, you're right blah blah blah", but they just go back to the same old thing.
... (read in full...)
Should I just end things? B/f being mean and I wonder if he's cheating on me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a while and our past isn't the best, however we have agreed to put that behind us and move on. Lately it hasn't been great I have the feeling that he's cheating and he's been being really mean not wanting to ...
A. 27 November 2011: Yeah, you guys need to chill out and then sit down and talk. See how he's feeling, tell him that you feel like maybe you guys need to take a break from each other - but that you're also willing to give this relationship one last chance if he still ... (read in full...)
I cut off all contact with my best friend, but I still miss him
Q. I know this may seem like a stupid question, as it's kind of through my own doing. I recently fell out with my male best friend,strictly platonic, well not recently around four months ago lets just say? from speaking every day, this is the long...
A. 26 November 2011: I don't think you really ever forget someone who was a huge part of your life. I think you stop having them actively take up time in your mind... or you stop missing them like crazy... but you never really forget them.
The only thing that wil... (read in full...)
Are gay thoughts normal for teenagers?
Q. Are gay thoughts normal for teenagers? I'm very interested in girls. But I'm having gay thoughts that really scare me, I'm not attracted to other men in any way. These thoughts make me feel stressed and anxious. I don't want to be gay and I want to ...
A. 23 November 2011: Hey sweet,
When you're a teenager, your hormones are going positively nuts, and can give you all kinds of thoughts, urges and feelings. You've just got all kind of hormones firing and your body is just curious and horny. That's life.
I would... (read in full...)
Has anyone got any quotes/sayings that they live by or feel inspired from?
Q. I know this is a relationship website, but I am getting a quote painted on my wall above the mirror, I want it to be something that when I wake up and look at everyday, I feel inspired by it! Something about either, life, success, our future, ...
A. 21 November 2011: "If I don't have red, I use blue." I'm pretty sure Picasso said that. That quote helps me roll with the punches and keep an easy going attitude. Surrounding my mirror, I have "The hood does not make the monk." from Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. I ... (read in full...)
Am I immature for feeling like I can't be friends with my ex boyfriend...?
Q. I had a horrible break up with my ex boyfriend for almost 2 years months ago. It was like a few days after my birthday he broke up with me so imagine how long it took for me to start pulling things back together. So during our time not speaking to ...
A. 20 November 2011: I think taking a break from him is a very MATURE decision. Some exes stay friends... some exes are exes for a reason, and that reason means a friendship just can't happen. That's totally okay. I'm friends with some of my exes, and there are some I ... (read in full...)
Would therapy help my self esteem issues?
Q. I've been cursed with low self esteem ever since I can remember. Probably from age 9 to above. Part of it had to do with my appearance (fat, pimply, braces, nerd) and the other with how people treated me because of how I looked. I went through 2 ...
A. 20 November 2011: Therapy might be a good option. It can help you clear your head, organize your thoughts and understand/regulate your thoughts and cognitive process. You may find it really helpful.
You may need to shop around for therapists. Some are great, s... (read in full...)
I do not want our friendship, our scene or the show to suffer because of a spur of the moment event.
Q. I am in a musical show, and I had to perform a kissing scene with a girl who is a close friend of mine. Initially it was awkward between us but we eventually managed to do the scene without it being awkward. However, at a recent rehearsal of the ...
A. 18 November 2011: You might as well have gone onto that stage and said "Macbeth". Yeah, you kinda made a rookie acting mistake. NEVER let things go beyond what's required in the scene until after the show closes. That sexual tension, that passion that can't be ... (read in full...)
My dear friend was in a horrible car accident, but instead of contacting me first, he contacts some chick he's been talking to for 2 weeks?
Q. I'm not sure if this really counts as a relationship or love question, but I really don't know where else to go, and I really need advice. Last night, one of my dear friends was in a car accident. I was informed shortly after the face, absolutely ...
A. 14 November 2011: I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I'm glad he's okay.
I definitely understand why you're so upset. And I also understand why he will be really confused by your reaction. It sounds like you haven't told him how you feel? He could be under th... (read in full...)
I think she likes me, she said my name and I didn't even know she knew my name
Q. Quick question. I sit near this girl in college and I think she likes me . Wen ever I look her way she smiles and we started small talkin recently . Today, without having to even look at her she says "hey *my name*" like she was going out of her way ...
A. 8 November 2011: Well, did you say hi back? Sounds like she's at least interested in getting to know you! So tomorrow go in and say "Hey *her name*", and keep the conversation going a little! Good luck, sweet!... (read in full...)
I love my fiance and I want to get on with his family! So why am I being made to feel like an outsider?
Q. I get the feeling that a certain member of the family of my fiance, doesnt like me and judges me because Im not religious. The person that I believe does not approve also has a lot of prejudice veiw points that I disagree with to the point of b...
A. 7 November 2011: I have to agree with the others. It seems to me that you've tried. And this person does seem like a real bummer to have around - and someone that could easily offend or hurt a lot of people. I would cut back on the invitations - maybe invite them to ... (read in full...)
I'm 18, single and unemployed but I want a baby
Q. I have posted a question on here before and received good advice, therefore I wanted to ask for opinions on something that has been puzzling me for some time. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 20, despite my young age, I am desperate for a child. My ...
A. 14 October 2011: Here is my advice as to a way to soothe this urge. I go through waves of feeling like this too. More so when I was 18-20. How did I battle it? I bought a plastic bin at Walmart and everytime I started to feel the maternal urge, I'd go out shopp... (read in full...)
Is my hatred towards my half sister a bit over the top? How can I change this?
Q. I'm female, and my sister and I really don't get along. I don't know if it's because the fact she has a different father than me own, (I'm an only kid to my father.) My dad treats me differntly, which most men would to their own children. But even...
A. 12 October 2011: Definitely over the top.
She was a teenager. That's just what teenagers do. They rebel, and they can say hurtful stuff. It's all part of that "trying to find yourself" path that every human goes through. And your Mom is her mother too - are you ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant or an STD?
Q. About a week ago I had sex with this boy called shane that I Am seeing ( it was my first time) we both really like each other but the next time he came round we wanted to do it again . While rubbing his penis I felt further up and felt a few lumps I ...
A. 8 October 2011: No no, Tennisstar - she had sex with him last week. This week they didn't.
Anyway, toots - the advice is still just as good. You would not be having symptoms of pregnancy after a week - but if you had unprotected sex, you're at risk for both pre... (read in full...)
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