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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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He's dating the girl he cheated on me with. I just ignore them and act happy--is this best thing to do?
Q. Well, lately I've been thinking about things. I recently split with my bf and things ended bitter. He cheated on me and what not and he's done things to me that I've always been quiet about and I never told him that it bothered me. I felt I was ...
A. 20 January 2007: Your friend is a fountain of wisdom. Listen to her and let him simmer in his own crap. ... (read in full...)
I planned to meet an online guy friend. Then he cancelled b/c I'm married! What happened?
Q. Having trouble getting over someone I never met!HELP? Yes, I am married! I met someone online 6 months ago. We talked about everything under the sun. WE became great friends. We looked forward to chatting w/each other daily. Even though I was marr...
A. 18 January 2007: Well, I think he did the right thing. He saw what was coming. He probably already felt an attraction to you and cut it off before anything even started. He did the right thing.
I know it sucks because you thought you'd be getting a friend o... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is confused about his sexuality. How do I help him??
Q. My boyfrind of four years and has told me he thinks he is gay. We have a child together. I have told him to go and speak to someone but he wont he said he is confused. What can i do to help? I dont want to lose him but i dont want him to be unhappy. ...
A. 18 January 2007: I think CD gave you great advice. I also just want to touch base with you and tell you that I think you're reacyting incredibly well. You must be a really great girlfriend to prioritize your boyfriends happiness the way you do. A lot of girls would ... (read in full...)
I saw some photos of my bf posing with some girls and looking quite 'chummy' with them. I honestly don't like it but am I over reacting?
Q. my boyfriend (21 yrs old) had gone home to his home country for a month, dec-jan, and i saw some of his pictures there with these girls, he's holding them and they're hugging him real close as in with their arms completely around him and he's ...
A. 18 January 2007: I don't know what country he's from, but I think these pictures were completely platonic. I have lots of pictures of my guy friends and my girlfriends all hugging or with their arms around each other. I'll bet they were just pictures... and those ... (read in full...)
Would my man be embarrassed to receive roses at work?
Q. I want to send the man I love a bunch of roses, just cos im a bit of a soppy romantic and want to suprise him. However he is at work all day and so if I sent them to his home he wouldnt get them. Do you think it would be too embarrassing for him to ...
A. 18 January 2007: I asked my boyfriend and this was his suggestion. He thinks that you should buy flowers and bring them to his house in person. Surprise him at his doorstep where he can really appreciate the sweet gesture without the pressure of having his friends ... (read in full...)
Why are they scared?
Q. why do most women fear good looking men, and refuse to go on a date with them....
A. 18 January 2007: Too much competition!... (read in full...)
I'm 24 and I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I met a guy online. Any thoughts?
Q. hi how u doing i met this man online about a year ago we get on really well got the same sense of humour hes really caring when things were going wrong for me he rings me up we have talked on the phone and sent each other one pictures im just...
A. 18 January 2007: My boyfriend and I met online and we've been together about a year and a half. He's a completely normal, attractive, fun, smart guy and I'm pretty normal myself. Nowadays everyone is meeting online... we are, aren't we?
Just be safe about it... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and my left breast is smaller that the right breast. Is this normal?
Q. I'm 18 and my left breast is slightly smaller than the other, is this normal? Is there anything I can do to physically even them out, not with padding but the actual breast? I do girly push ups and light weight lifting to perk them, but is there a ...
A. 18 January 2007: You are SO normal. At one point I worked as a DJ in a strip club and I saw more boobs than the average person does. I saw TONS of pairs! Seriously, over a hundred pairs of boobs. No two are alike. I saw some that were SIGNIFICANTLY bigger than the ... (read in full...)
I don't like anything sexual because it makes me feel dirty and I'm scared to loose my virginity. Am I normal?
Q. I'm 18, I've had a boyfriend for 2yrs. We still haven't had sex. We've done some things but nothing real down and dirty. Why am I so scared of sex?! Is this normal? I'm terrified of losing my virginity to anyone. Everyone tells me it's not that b...
A. 18 January 2007: Your boyfriend sounds like a nice guy and you sound like a great gal. Forget about your friends. You do what you want to. When you feel you're ready then you'll know. And the first time can be really, really special.
If you're scared in a: you t... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to my co-worker, we are both married but I care for her and I'm not sure if she feels the same. Any thoughts?
Q. I have a co-worker that her and I are attracted to each other. We are both married, she's actually my co-owners sister-in-law. She likes older men, I'm 33, and I like younger women, she's 25. We have messed around a few times, but nothing major, ...
A. 17 January 2007: Is the question how to continue your affair with this woman?
Try focusing all this attention on your WIFE.... (read in full...)
My best friend nabbed the guy that I like!
Q. One of my best friends just started going around with a guy I was dating. I have strong feelings for this guy and I would tell her all about it and she still went ahead and turned around and went out with him. What do I do? I feel betrayed. ...
A. 17 January 2007: You have been betrayed girl.
I hope you've told your friend how much she hurt you. What she did wasn't fair. But throughout your life, you'll have friends who suddenly turn their back on you, or show that they're not so good at "friends... (read in full...)
I'm 18 so should I bring my 24 year old boyfriend to the prom with me or would it make everyone there uncomfortable?
Q. Hi, I saw someone else recently post a question about their prom and an older boyfriend so I figured I would post too. I'm 18 and have been dating my 24 year old boyfriend for quite a while. I always just assumed I'd be taking him as my date to pr...
A. 17 January 2007: Girl, it's YOUR prom. And, unless there's rules prohibiting it, I think you should bring who you want. It's your night, your memories and most importantly, YOUR date. No one else is the one out with him. No one should feel weird because of his age. ... (read in full...)
He's a virgin and loses his erection when we try to have sex. What can be done?
Q. i am trying to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he is a virgin and whenever we try to have sex he loses his erection, and it will not come back, he is nervous and scared that it will keep happening and he will not be able to become ...
A. 16 January 2007: CD was right on!! I absolutely agree that you guys should set aside a night to just have fun with each other. Be naked with each other, be together with each other. Just touch, kiss, lick - what have you (I won't get too graphic here), each other. A ... (read in full...)
He tells me to grow out my hair and compares me to others. Now he's picky about what I eat! Is this headed into an abusive relationship?
Q. My now fiance always tells me that I should grow my hair long (like how I used to have it). He'll even point out different girls and say things like "You should grow it that long." It made me mad so finally I said something, and he ignored me for ...
A. 16 January 2007: Wow. What a complete CONTROL freak. He seems a little obsessed with the physical you and less concerned with the emotional you. It would really hurt my feelinsg if a guy told me I was going to "get fat" with every bite I took, or told me that I'd ... (read in full...)
He hates that I put my kids first and he wants me to move away with him! What are your thoughts on this?
Q. I am a mother of 2 children and have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. He doesn't like to come to my house and feels I put my kids first although I do all I can to make him happy including staying at his house. He wants me to sell my house and ...
A. 16 January 2007: He feels like you put your kids first? You SHOULD put your kids first, and I think it's great that you care so much about them.
If this guy really likes YOU, he needs to realize that your kids are part of you and he needs to accept and love the... (read in full...)
I don't know who to go for - my best friend or the new girl?
Q. HI im 14 (M) and ive never had a proper gf b4. ive had a few gfs b4 but not really much longer then a month. at the moment ive had my eyes on 2 totally different girls. 1 is 1 of my best friends who ive liked since the day i met her. the other has ...
A. 15 January 2007: I'm just throwing this out there.
I sort of like the appeal of your mystery girl. I think you ought to give it a shot. Your good friend who you like, well... she doesn't sound like the best match for you right now. She's dating someone else and... (read in full...)
He's dating the girl he cheated on me with. I just ignore them and act happy--is this best thing to do?
Q. Well, lately I've been thinking about things. I recently split with my bf and things ended bitter. He cheated on me and what not and he's done things to me that I've always been quiet about and I never told him that it bothered me. I felt I was ...
A. 15 January 2007: You'll find that feeling again, I promise. It's a special feeling, and it feels wonderful, but it will come back with someone else and next time it might even feel stronger. You're doing really well so far, sweet thang. Just keep trcukin' and it ... (read in full...)
Should I believe that he didn't do anything last night?
Q. My b/f did not want to do anything last night. He lives about 30 minutes from me. I dont drive. He says he just feels beat up/tired and doesnt feel like driving anywhere. So we didnt do anything. I feel somewhat suspicious but feel i shouldnt. I ...
A. 14 January 2007: I pretty much agree with "Shania", and I'm just going to reiterate what she said.
If he's given you reasons to be suspicious of him before, perhaps there's something wrong. But geeze, maybe the guy was just kind of tired and didn't feel like goi... (read in full...)
We're both virgins and he couldn't get it in!
Q. I am 17 and my boyfriend is 19, we're both virgins, and we've been waiting to do it for about 6 months, we tried to the other day, but he told me he couldnt get it in. Is this a major problem? What can i do to fix it?...
A. 14 January 2007: Oh my God, I went through the exact same thing when I first had sex. And it took me an entire MONTH to finally get it in. I was just too tense. What you need to do is spend loootttsss of time just exploring each other and having fun together.
... (read in full...)
Mom Caught me with sisters hubby!
Q. my mom saw me with my sisters hubby this happened by surprising me 4 brunch. she saw me with a mouthful. she said she wouldn't tell but expects he and i to do the right thing. he wants 2 tell her but we only did it once and only head. so?...
A. 14 January 2007: Someone is going to tell your sister. For the love of God, I HOPE someone tells your sister. And it's going to be either your Mother, your sisters husband or YOU. What you did wasn't "only" head. You totally betrayed your sister. Your blood, your ... (read in full...)
I can't 'gaze' back in my bf's eyes! It bothers me! Why am I like this?
Q. why can't i look into my boyfriends eyes for longer than about 2 seconds?, he tries to gaze into my eyes and i have to look away because i can't stand it. is there something wrong with me? what should i do?...
A. 14 January 2007: There's nothing wrong with you. Sometimes having a staredown is kind of weird. I think it's just a matter of getting super, super open with each other... try looking at him straight in the eye when having conversation. Then it's not this weird, ... (read in full...)
Why does he like to ejaculate on my belly?
Q. Can you tell me why the man in my life always ejaculates all over my stomach, what does it mean?...
A. 14 January 2007: You need to ask HIM that! If he doesn't want to get you pregnant, he's pulling out and ejaculating in the easiest spot. That's going to be your stomach. Be thankful he doesn't do it on your face - unless you're into that. There's only one person who ... (read in full...)
His car wsparked outside her house! Do I jump to conclusions...any advice?
Q. This is a follow up to my first question "My girlfriend has cheated on me yet i dont want to give up on her". I Thank the people who responded the first time your opinions were very good. She keeps sayin she loves me and that she wants to be my old ...
A. 14 January 2007: I don't know, this girl sounds skeevy. And his car was parked outside of her house in the morning? I don't know, that's a little suspicious. I would've knocked on her door and said, "just wanted to say hi! I was in the neighborhood, and how could I ... (read in full...)
Is this email chick hitting on my boyfriend?
Q. I just saw an email from a girl to my boyfriend, i don't know if i'm being way too sensitive, but in the email she says. "I so need to see the sun. I want to get out of town. Seriously. Some place hot?" is she trying to attract my boyfriend or am I ...
A. 14 January 2007: Whoa... sounds like an e-mail I just sent to my MOTHER. I need to get out of town. I need to see the sun. I need to go someplace hot! (I'm thinking Jamaica... yeahhh....)
Is your boyfriend a trustworthy guy? If he is, he still is. THis doesn't ... (read in full...)
He's dating the girl he cheated on me with. I just ignore them and act happy--is this best thing to do?
Q. Well, lately I've been thinking about things. I recently split with my bf and things ended bitter. He cheated on me and what not and he's done things to me that I've always been quiet about and I never told him that it bothered me. I felt I was ...
A. 14 January 2007: Good girl. You are doing EXACTLY the right thing. There's no need for drama or anything like that... you be the bigger person and act happy. Ignore them. That is just fine. Good choice, doll!
xxIndia
P.S. What a jerk your boyfriend was to... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my gf want to meet my parents? Any ideas?
Q. My girlfriend doesn't want to meet my parents is she hiding something?...
A. 14 January 2007: Maybe she is. But I'll bet it's because she's scared to death. I know I didn't want to meet my boyfriend's parents... not because I had anything to hide, but because the whole notion was completely nerve-racking.
Of course, when I finally ... (read in full...)
We had sex twice and it wasn't great-now he doesn't want to do it...what should I do?
Q. Hello I'm having a bit of a problem. I'm 24 and at christmas i lost my virginity to my boyfriend. We have only had sex twice and it wasn't that great. It was without condoms (long story, and yes i know about safe sex etc) The problem is, sinc...
A. 14 January 2007: Well, to answer your question, yes. You should absolutely go on the pill. There's nothing scary about it. Even girls who aren't having sex go on the pill to regulate their periods (or some do to help with skin problems... I don't know about that ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he get an erection when he kissed me? Don't all guys do this?
Q. hi i was hugging my new bf for the first time today and then we kissed (just a normal kiss but for quite a long time. anyway i heard ages ago that normally when boys are hugging and kissing their gf's they get an erection. well why do you think ...
A. 14 January 2007: Hey sweetie,
Don't worry, he's still into you.
Guys get erections when they get sexually excited (sometimes they get them just because, but we're not talking about that). Maybe your kiss was just a really nice kiss... a romantic moment.... (read in full...)
She's a bit wilder than me-I have traditional relationship values. Is it wrong of me to expect more from her?
Q. Im a 20 yr old guy and im in a relationships.i give my GF(also 20) a lot of advice/"maybe nagging" about things that i don't like...This sounds a weird Q to ask but am i acting like a 'nagging old loser'? for example when my GF went out for her...
A. 14 January 2007: Hi there,
Well she seems like a normal 20 year old. And you seem like a normal 20 year old. But what you both want right now is so drastically different, how can you really find a place where you're both happy? You want a girl who acts like a "... (read in full...)
We like each other a lot--nothing is happening though! What can I do?
Q. I'm in love with this boy...I have been for 3 years and I can't take it anymore...I know he likes me too and we are always flirting...but I don't know what to do cause he knows I like him and I know he likes me but nothing serious has ever ...
A. 13 January 2007: What's stopping you from making a move? You know he likes you, so just say something. Say, "Hey. I really like you, and I get the feeling that you like me too." - that should jump start things enough to get things moving.
Or, just go in for a hu... (read in full...)
In the last month..we barely talk now! I am deeply upset...what is going on with this guy?
Q. I writing here for help because i so badly need it. I feel like I'm lost in a never ending situation. I can't find ANYONE who can help me. I have even tried help lines and all that where you speak to actual counsellors but after talking to them for ...
A. 13 January 2007: Hey sweetness,
"Reebe" has it right. This is just something that happens. You both are at universities and experiencing new things and new people. He's probably pretty busy with school and his new friends - he's building a new life at his universi... (read in full...)
Troubled by my inverted nipples!
Q. Hiya, I have inverted nipples and it courses me so much embarrassment that i have never taken my top off, even in front of my long term boyfriend. hes very understanding but i havent even told him why. i really think its time to face this problem, ...
A. 13 January 2007: "Anonymous" gave you stellar advice except for one thing. You won't do harm to the relationship just because you don't sleep with your boyfriend. Don't think that you are obligated to sleep with him. If you want to, fine, but if you don't, you ... (read in full...)
Married gals! Would you be upset if your husband had a habit of winking at other women?
Q. this is a question for married women- would you be bothered about your husband as a habit of winking at another woman (just one in particular)?...
A. 13 January 2007: Personally, if my husband was a general winker, I'd be okay with it. If the winks weren't exclusive to one woman, I'd be alright. It would be his "thing". Sort of... old fashioned, smooth guy cute.
But one woman imparticular? That's weird. U... (read in full...)
We like each other but I think he's way too good for me! Should I go out with him?
Q. right thear is this boy who i like and he likes me but he is way 2 good 4 me and my best m8 likes him and has been out wiv him lotz she says shes ok with it but i no wen it comes to it she wont be wot do i do can eney 1 help ?????????...
A. 13 January 2007: NO one is "way too good" for you. YOU are "way to good" for everyone else. Well, alright, I don't want to set you up with a huge ego complex, here. But still... never think that someone is "too good for you" and don't let that silly thought keep you ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my gf that I kissed her sister?
Q. hi im in a reltionship at the moment but the thing is when i was staying at my girlfriends i kissed her sister should i tell her or shall i keep it a secret...
A. 12 January 2007: If it was some random girl, and it was a one time thing and a big mistake, I might say no. Don't tell her.
However, this is your girlfriend's sister and her sister will probably say something sooner or later. So do you want your girl to hear it ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for motherhood! Should I have an abortion or keep this baby?
Q. Hey there! I am about less than 2 months pregnant. I am devastated. I'm only 17 and this was obviously very unplanned. I wish I could turn back time and change the fact that I had unprotected sex. I'm stuck in the middle wondering if I should have ...
A. 12 January 2007: Hey sweetness,
You are going to get tons and tons of replies. Just remember that EVERY SINGLE ONE is an OPINION. Whatever you choose is absolutely FINE. If you want an abortion, then that is the best decision for YOU. If you decide to have the... (read in full...)
I wouldn't sleep with him and now--he won't speak to me! Are all guys like this?
Q. i didnt slept with him! now he doesnt really talk to me! is he a Dic* or are most lads like this? i did really like him but im a virgin! but he didnt no that! is it my fault iv pushed him away (im nearly 18 in case u wanted 2 know)...
A. 12 January 2007: What a scum bag. Not all guys are like this, I swear. Wait for a nice guy to come along who doesn't treat you like trash to give your affection to.
You just got unlucky with this guy. Ugh.
Sorry, sweetness.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
My GF of 6 years wanted space to sort out her feelings - should I wait for her?
Q. Will we ever be together again?? My gf and I dated for 6 years. We are both 24. Anyways our relationship was good. We were both deeply in love. In the summer she said that she felt like she had drifted apart from me and that if felt like she on...
A. 12 January 2007: I just re-read my answer, I hope you know I meant between the ages of 18 and 24.... not 14. What a silly mistake. Ahh!... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a man at my son's school. Should I approach him? If so, how?
Q. There is a man at my son's school who I have become very attracted to (yes I am a single mum). I know this guy is single unfortunately due to losing his wife to cancer. I would like to pluck up the courage to speak to him and get to know him but ...
A. 11 January 2007: Hey again,
I think your daughter is close enough to your son in age. One year isn't too big of a difference. But I think "Lilly223" had a good idea of inviting them both over to dinner. "I'm sure it'd be nice to eat a dinner cooked by someone ... (read in full...)
My friends make fun of my bf b/c he's a bit overweight and not incredibly attractive. But he's a lovely guy!
Q. i have just started dating a guy who i really like.my friends make fun of him though because he is a little overweight and not the most attractive guy.these comments that my friends are saying really hurt me because he is such a lovely guy and they ...
A. 11 January 2007: You know what? Your friends are being pretty cruel. They probably are just trying to be funny, but they're really hurting you and THAT is not good friendship.
You need to tell them that you really like this guy and that to you, he is attracti... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and a virgin and met a 41-year old woman on webcam... We're meeting this Saturday!
Q. Ok. I’m 19years old and have been desperate to lose my virginity for years, I’ve had chances to with decent girls but have stop our relationship getting to the next level because they where not virgins too. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, as I’ve ...
A. 11 January 2007: Everyone else gave you kosher advice.
You'll feel so much better about yourself if you wait for a girl who's been waiting for you. You say that you're depressed - well, this is just going to depress you more. And hey, if another 10 years roll by ... (read in full...)
I have symptoms of pregnancy, but both tests turned out negative. I don't know what's going on!
Q. Dear Cupid, so can yall help me? I mean okay the last time me and my *ex* man had sex was November 21. My monthly red ended a week before that. It's now January 10th and I still have not gotten my period. I don't know? I took two pregnancy tests ...
A. 11 January 2007: First: Go get some more pregnancy tests and try it again. Maybe the first ones didn't take - it's been awhile. If you're still coming up negative, it's time to visit a Planned Parenthood or your doctor and figure out what's going on. Because ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a man at my son's school. Should I approach him? If so, how?
Q. There is a man at my son's school who I have become very attracted to (yes I am a single mum). I know this guy is single unfortunately due to losing his wife to cancer. I would like to pluck up the courage to speak to him and get to know him but ...
A. 11 January 2007: Hi there, sweetness!
Here's just a thought. Is his daughter close to your son in age? Because if she is, you could use that to benefit you. Go up to him and mention that you'd like your son to meet some new people to hang out with and you were won... (read in full...)
My GF of 6 years wanted space to sort out her feelings - should I wait for her?
Q. Will we ever be together again?? My gf and I dated for 6 years. We are both 24. Anyways our relationship was good. We were both deeply in love. In the summer she said that she felt like she had drifted apart from me and that if felt like she on...
A. 11 January 2007: I think her friends and her sister are right. She sounds pretty confused and it sounds like she just needs some time by herself to figure out more about who SHE is and what she wants in her life. Usually the time between 18 and 14 is used to do some ... (read in full...)
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