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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 17 July 2009: I do believe that he's dropping hints alright, but if he has a girlfriend don't do anything with him!! It is always messy to get involved with a fella in a relationship, so stay clear of anything like that! Keep up with the chatting, but ke... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 14 June 2009: Hey there,
Well!! You've made good progress!! Good for you!
This is what I think you should do. You're talking all the time now, why don't you make time to go get coffee or lunch? I think seeing each other face to face in a non-threatening,... (read in full...)
How can I be sure that she is ready to lose her virginity?
Q. I have a gf who's a virgin what would the signs be that she is ready to lose her virginity other than saying "I want to lose my virginity"?...
A. 8 June 2009: She's given you the go: "I want to lose my virginity". But, if you want to really make sure, really let her take initiative. You can start things, by kissing her, taking off clothes, etc. But let her really be the leader and direct things. Make sure ... (read in full...)
How can I cope with my ex thinking so awfully of me?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't trust me because I kept my "past" from him when we first started dating and he thinks this past was slutty, although everyone has told me it wasn't (I used to make out with guys at parties, no strings attached, you get the ...
A. 8 June 2009: Your boyfriend was already a little crazy, and extremely possessive. He sounds REALLY insecure if he was freaked out about NSA making out at parties (and honey, I think we've ALL had that kind of fun. You're by no means slutty!!!), and proceeded to ... (read in full...)
How to find men that want to settle down...?
Q. So, I am 22 years old and I am wanting to settle down. The single life style just isn't satisfying anymore. It seams that more and more of my friends are getting serious, engaged, married, etc, where I clearly am not. I could use some advice ...
A. 8 June 2009: Hi there darling,
They always say - you find a man when you're not looking for it. And that's always the way it goes, isn't it? You're only 22, and you're still a hot young thing in the dating game... so I would just continue meeting guys, da... (read in full...)
I keep cheating on him when I'm drunk, what should I do?
Q. I'm in a relationship with the best boyfriend ever. He would do anything for me and we love each other dearly. He's three years older than me, and works full time, whereas i am a student at university. Truthfully he's my first love, i have nev...
A. 7 June 2009: This is a pretty easy equation, and by now you should be able to see your pattern. Clubs + drinking = You cheating on your fella. So, what do you think you need to subtract to quit cheating on your man?
If you are committed to your man, you will... (read in full...)
My brother needs guidance but I'd rather spend time with my girlfriend, any ideas?
Q. My mom wants me to spend time with my brother (he's 12) because he uses our sisters (they'll 6 and 9) as punching bags. Hes like this since my dad died 4 years ago and needs an older male influence (im 16) to "guide" him. I rather spend time with my ...
A. 7 June 2009: Hi there,
You're 16... I understand that you want to spend time with your girlfriend. What 16 year old boy wouldn't? But, your family is much more important, especially the well-being of your brother and the safety of your sisters. You do need to ... (read in full...)
Is he really just against LDR, or is he not into me?
Q. I know this is long, but I really need your help! :) A little back story: So I recently asked my "boyfriend" whether he would consider us to be dating or not. He said not really since school ends in 2 weeks and we won't see each other for 4 months...
A. 7 June 2009: Hey sweetness,
I would just move on for now - LDR's can be great for some and a pain in the butt for others. 5 hours away from each other is a pretty big commitment and you haven't really established anything serious together. It sounds like you... (read in full...)
I cheated and now I feel paranoid because I'm deployed overseas
Q. i am currently deployed overseas, my wife is back in the states. i had problems with being faithful a while back but i completely changed the way i was so it would never happen again. well everytime i call her, she never sounds excited to talk to me ...
A. 7 June 2009: Revenge by cheating is NEVER a good idea and is always the wrong answer. You cheating, especially based on the assumption that your wife is, makes you just as much at fault as she is. While I can't tell you if your wife is being unfaithful or not, ... (read in full...)
Twins in love can't chose between them!
Q. my best friend and his twin brother both love me.they told me at different times when the other was't around.they both want to know if i love them .i like them both and don't know which one to choose.please help me?i'm so confused....
A. 7 June 2009: If you reeeeaaallly can't choose, I would either let them both go (probably the best plan... getting between brothers, let alone TWINS is a messy situation PERIOD.) or tell them that you like them both and that they'll have to sort this out between ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to younger girls and wonder where it will go?
Q. I find myself looking at younger girls from about 8 onwards in a sexual way. This disturbs me. I am 25. I know that I can't do anything. And feel that I will have the strength to avoid doing anything to a girl. But I fear that one day I might weak...
A. 7 June 2009: Get your nice and caring behind into a psychologists office and nip this sick feeling in the bud!! You don't want to carry on and let this feeling end up getting you in some SERIOUS trouble, and getting an innocent young girl a lifetime of damage ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with him or leave?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about two months. He says he really likes me and almost told me that he felt he loved me. The thing about him is that he has a VERY rocky past. He has slept with over 40 girls and was the "player" type. Everyone insists ...
A. 5 June 2009: I would just get out now. Any guy who makes you feel horrible, tries to control who you speak to, and doesn't see himself at fault at all for any of your problems - not worth it. How long are you going to be willing to put up with him always putting ... (read in full...)
Wondering how people's 'first times' were?
Q. Okay so I've been awfully curious about how different first times having sex has gone. This isn't like an advice needed thing. I would just like to hear how male and female first times went. Did you regret it after? What made you feel like you were ...
A. 5 June 2009: Ahhh, to reminisce about this moment. Well, I was 19... I had gone through an awful lot of boyfriends in high school, but because of extremely thorough (and fun) Sex Ed classes and lots of time hanging out with Planned Parenthood, I was going into ... (read in full...)
Guys -- how long do you usually last during a bj?
Q. This is for the guys out there. When getting a blow job about how long does is take for you to ejaculate. I give my boyfriend head but there's no way I'm letting him cum in my mouth so I only do it for a while then carry on with a hand job just in ...
A. 3 June 2009: My fella takes about 10 minutes. Sometimes as long as 15-20, but on average, I'd say 10 minutes and he's gone!!... (read in full...)
7 month anniversary..sexy pictures?
Q. okkay so me and my long distace boyfriend have been together for 6 months our 7 month annevirserry is coming up soon and i dont know what to do for him! i cant send him any thing in the mail because i dont know i send him something and get it back. ...
A. 3 June 2009: Sexy pictures is a pretty big gift for a 7 month anniversary. I would save that for a really significant anniversary, like your 1 year.
Your 7th is not a huge milestone, so I would do something sweet and simple, to let him know that you recogniz... (read in full...)
He called me a selfish bitch because I don't want to have sex
Q. So I told my boyfriend that I don't want to do anything sexual with him mainly because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Well he gets mad at me cause I told him earlier I was going to gave him my virginity but I realize I wasn't ready. He called me a ...
A. 3 June 2009: WHOA, you didn't overreact at all, sister. Nobody could call you selfish for respecting yourself and your body and your limits. He's definitely the creep for trying to push you and make you feel bad for not giving him your virginity. Shows where his ... (read in full...)
He lost his erection, we can't talk about it
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 6 months. From one month in we've had a steady sex life. He's very shy and dislikes talking about sex, as he says it's just the way he was brought up. Last night we were fooling around and went to have...
A. 2 June 2009: It is nobodies fault but his subconscious. It certainly isn't yours (it's not as if he's not attracted to you or doesn't find you sexy or you weren't performing well enough), and it's not his, I'm thinking that if this has happened before, he is ... (read in full...)
I'm scared and don't know whether to go up and talk to him or what?
Q. Hi okay sorry this may be a long story... last summer we did this drama production at school, and I had a main part. There was this other guy who had a main part too (he was in the year above) , and we quite often talked and stuff- i would have con...
A. 2 June 2009: You need to be brave and go up and talk to him!!! What to talk about? There are a billion things!! The weather, your performance, a band you like, a movie you like, anything to start up a conversation. Once the wheels get rolling, a conversation ... (read in full...)
Trying to spice things up -- morning nookie?
Q. Ok so this is something that kinda embarrasses me to ask, but I need help/pointers from those who are a little more bold than I am. My husband is leaving for a couple of days for work and he just got home yesterday from being gone overnigh...
A. 1 June 2009: Hi girlfriend,
On the rare occasion, I wake my fella up with a blow job. It is the best!! He spends the rest of the day treating me like a queen, it is so amazing to him. I think 99.9% of guys would LOVE to be woken up with a blowjob, especial... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 29 May 2009: Hey darlin,
Next time he asks you, ACCEPT. Or, if you're feeling gutsy (and I hope you are), you should go ahead and ask him to do something casual.
Don't be scared - the worst that can happen is that it doesn't end up going anywhere and you... (read in full...)
Are there risks involved with having sex with two women at the same time?
Q. hey, can i get any STI's or anything like that through having sex with two woman at the same time, without using a condom. is it safe to put my cock into one woman, then into another and back again? is there any risks?...
A. 29 May 2009: If you are having unprotected sex, regardless of how many women you're having it with, you are ALWAYS at risk for STI's. If you and these women have not had a check up after your last sexual partner, you need to get on that and then you can have all ... (read in full...)
I'm pretty sure that soon I won't feel anything for him
Q. Okay basically. A guy who's friends with some of my friends added me on facebook about 3 weeks ago and we started talking and got along great. 6 days ago we decided to meet up with two of our other friends (this was mine and his first time meeting)...
A. 29 May 2009: Well no wonder you're feeling things start to fade. He's pushing you away!! He is coming on REALLY strong, you've only been together 3 days and he's talking about being in love and staying together forever? WHOA!
I would tell him that you need... (read in full...)
Is it too late for something romantic to happen between us?
Q. Hello Aunts I am in a bit of an odd situation really, which has been going on for many years now. I am 27, and recently single, after a series of bad short term relationships. I have known this guy (he is 28) since I was at Primary Schoo...
A. 29 May 2009: Sister, it's not even close to too late! It's only too late if he's married or one of you dies. So get on it!! You guys have a history together and that can be a great start to a great relationship. You will never know until you try and you don't ... (read in full...)
Why is my friend being so ungrateful?
Q. Morning All, it was my friends birthday 2 days ago and i got her Lost Season 1-4 boxsets because she mentioned how she wanted them but couldnt afford them. When she opene it she looked dissapointed and when i asked what was wrong she said she t...
A. 29 May 2009: Completely rude and tacky. If I were you, I'd be pissed too. But, the best thing for you to do is seethe a little under your breath and let it go - it's just not worth the emotional energy getting caught up in your friends tacky behavior.
But m... (read in full...)
He agreed to go to a movie -- does that mean he likes me?
Q. I am nearly sixteen and so is he. I really like him. He really makes me laugh and I find him very attractive. The thing is I know he kinda likes this other girl because I asked him and he said that he did a bit and he knows that I like him. (I went ...
A. 29 May 2009: I think that he at least is interested, or he wouldn't of said yes to you! I think going to the movies will be a great way for you to show how amazing you are and for him to realize it. First dates are always very telling. Afterwords, why not go for ... (read in full...)
I haven't been introduced because I'm black!
Q. I guess I am just needing objective opinions on this matter. I have been dating a guy for about 15 months. We have been living together for the last 5 months. I have 2 children and he is very involved in their life. We are our own family. We do ev...
A. 29 May 2009: Well good! Glad things are going well for you, him and his family. Way to be patient (you have more patience than I ever could), kudos to your good attitude!!
Good luck in the coming months!... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to have such a serious expectation from a relationship?
Q. I realli need advice. Ive been with my gf for 4 months now and we are very busy with final year of schooling, so we get like once or twice a week where we talk on the phone, and once to be together on the weekend. I find Im puttin all the effort i...
A. 28 May 2009: Hi Brendan,
I think that a) you must be coming to the end of your school year, so things MUST be getting crazy and b) you've only been together for 4 months. While that might feel like a long time (and it is a good chunk of time), it's really s... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had one previous relationship with a man, and I can't accept it...
Q. hi, so i have a bf which really loves me and i feel great with him, but my boyfriend in the past had one relationship with a man and i really cant accept this thing. if it was you would you stay with him? however he confessed that it was his only...
A. 27 May 2009: Hi there,
I guess I'm the only person who could kind of care less about what my fella has done in the past. So your guy experimented, okay... it obviously didn't work out for him since he retired that thought and has stuck with women ever since. A... (read in full...)
13 years old and pregnant. Unsure of what to do?
Q. This will be quite long so lease bear with me. I came from a good loving family and has good reputation. My mom, my aunts, all the ladies in my family were married first before sex. Except for one, my aunt who was left by the man who didn't know ...
A. 27 May 2009: My, my, what a situation. You got great advice here, I just want to throw in that you should also go to a good doctor and talk to them about your options. It sounds like to me that an abortion may be fitting in your situation - only because the only ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not liking my friend's boyfriend?
Q. Am I wrong for not likeing my friend new boyfriend? We are "were" great friends, until she got this bf. I understand things change once we get bf or gf, but I don't like him. I don't know him or never talked to him but there is something I don't ...
A. 27 May 2009: You really owe this guy a chance. I can appreciate you looking out for your girlfriend, but it's really not fair to the guy that you're writing him of as bad news without ever having spoke or met him.
I also think that you need to try and keep... (read in full...)
Should I send him a letter?
Q. Its our 4th month anniversary, I was thinking about writing a letter, and in it saying how i cry for joy knowing im with one of God's own archetypes. Weve already exchanged letters before, so its not like its new. what you think?...
A. 27 May 2009: I got a few overwhelming love notes just like that and I'll be honest - I would laugh at them with girlfriends. They just seemed a little pathetic. You don't want to worship a girl, or put her on a pedestal. It's really terrible for the ... (read in full...)
I don't like who I have become, how can I change this?
Q. my morals have slippped and i don't know who i am any more. :( I used to have really high morals and was too sensible. I got A's in all my gcses but i felt like i was missing out on my youth. I felt a bit trapped, too. so i tried to be as re...
A. 27 May 2009: Think, you've created a great start to the story of your life. We all make mistakes, we all go through rough stages... so you hit yours, okay. You have probably learned so much in the last few years - you've gained street smarts and juicy stories to ... (read in full...)
Party, boys and fear! Help!
Q. Please help me! So, I have liked this boy for over a year and half. About 6th months ago I admitted it... and now we have become closer and relli good friends. My friend said that he has changed around me recently. So we were all on the bus... an...
A. 26 May 2009: Sister, he is totally into you. But don't put all your hopes into wishing that he'll ask you to be his girlfriend or make a super official move. It seems like whenever you hope too hard about that kind of thing, it doesn't happen. Not to mention, he ... (read in full...)
Should I just tell her what I want to do to her?
Q. I really really really want to have sex with a girl right now. I'm starting to get older and still am a virgin. Sorry if this sounds messed up or anything but I can't stop thinking about it. I'm just a regular quiet and shy guy around girls. ...
A. 25 May 2009: You will not get anywhere with this girl if you just ask her to have sex with you! There are certain types of girls who are into that, but most of them will be doing the approaching.
If this girl is so amazing, why don't you ask her to go out with... (read in full...)
I hate being gay! Can I become heterosexual by taking medication?
Q. I HATE BEING GAY. can we deliberately convert a gay person into heterosexual by means of medical treatment? (i.e. hormone injections, hormone medications (such as??))...
A. 23 May 2009: I personally don't believe that you can change your orientation, certainly not with medicine. You can change your orientation only by looking in and perhaps shifting your complete psychology, which could be difficult but not impossible. Any quick ... (read in full...)
I was sweaty and smelly. Did this ruin my chances with her?
Q. Hey Everybody, Basically, I was at university playing some pickup soccer with some of my friends, but there was this new girl playing with us and she had to guard me, so i was taking it easy on her and everything right, but I noticed that she...
A. 23 May 2009: You were playing sports!!! It seems like she was digging you and you know what? Sometimes seeing a guy all sweaty is super hot (think: David Beckham post game... ROWR). You can turn this into an opportunity: "Maybe we can hang out when I'm not ... (read in full...)
Is there such thing as natural white teeth?
Q. do some people have natural perfect white teeth. without them going to a dentist to get then professional done. because i saw family in photo and ordinary family not celebrity's or nothing like that.there was 5 of them there were so white and even ...
A. 22 May 2009: Well, my teeth are something that I'm super proud of. They are naturally pretty much perfect. They are perfectly even, extremely white - all I do is brush 'em, floss 'em and use mouthwash. I love going to the dentist because they always fawn all ... (read in full...)
Do people use the sympathy vote to get ahead and get attention so people feel sorry for them?
Q. what type of people get the sympathy vote and do they use it to get places as leg up.and people feel sorry for them for (eg a person said they father dies of tumor in shopping line while talking to some one who is front them and sudden let them in ...
A. 22 May 2009: There is a really good 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' episode regarding this very subject! What kind of people use the sympathy vote? Larry David. Larry David is that kind of people.
"The Special Section" Season 3. Hilarious.... (read in full...)
Why is the guy I'm sharing a bed with touching me?
Q. I have a problem. I have been living in a house for 8 months now and recently moved out. But the there was a guy in my old house who me and my roomie became real good friends with, and even though we have moved out now, we visit the old place very ...
A. 21 May 2009: If you're in the same bed with a guy, he might get ideas... you're pretty accessible there. So if you don't want him to get the wrong ideas, simply don't share a bed with him. He might think that you want him to make a move if you're not telling him ... (read in full...)
Do girls hate guys who are vain?
Q. do girls hate guys that are vain? i dont walk around thinking im gods gift to every girl but i work out alot, always try and look my best, and look in the mirror loads. do girls find this a turn off?...
A. 20 May 2009: Some chicks love a cocky guy, some of them can appreciate vanity - especially if they have a vain streak themselves. For me, that is such a turn off. Taking care of yourself isn't - in fact, that's a great quality (especially if you find a gal who ... (read in full...)
He loves me...he loves me not!
Q. I am a single mother who has been seperated and divorced for nearly 2 years now. I started dating again while I was going through my divorce and met an amazing man. He had just been through a divorce as well (no kids), and we found it comforting ...
A. 19 May 2009: I think what is in order here is a good talk. Maybe his friends have freaked him out, but you can counter this by talking to him in a cool, no pressure sort of way. Tell him, "listen, I know what your friends have been saying and I just want to let ... (read in full...)
What do I do in bed?
Q. Ok so im new to this whole sex thing, ive had sex once with my boyfriend so far, and we have messed around a lot in bed, hes given me oral a few times, hes fingered me a lot and i have given him a hand job a few times. However i cant help but thin...
A. 19 May 2009: Hello my dear,
Cosmo is a trashy magazine, but you need it sister!! You'll get "100 new ways to please your man in bed", and learn how to "make your orgasm boom with the strength of 1000 trombones" (okay, not sure how that article would read), e... (read in full...)
Any advice on moving in with my boyfriend?
Q. So I'm moving in with my boyfriend of over a year. I'm moving away from home for college..the one he's going to. So we've decided that we're going to be moving in together. He's got a 2 bedroom apartment so it's not like if we have an argument I ...
A. 19 May 2009: Sorry... I gave you the "best advice I can give you" like, three times. So let's just leave it as - it's all good.
Again, good luck, sweetness. You sound like an excellent roomie!... (read in full...)
Any advice on moving in with my boyfriend?
Q. So I'm moving in with my boyfriend of over a year. I'm moving away from home for college..the one he's going to. So we've decided that we're going to be moving in together. He's got a 2 bedroom apartment so it's not like if we have an argument I ...
A. 19 May 2009: Hey lady,
It's good that you have a two bedroom apartment, you can both have your own space.
The best advice I can give you is accept that for the first 6-12 months, it might be a little rough and you might argue a little more than you used to... (read in full...)
I haven't been introduced because I'm black!
Q. I guess I am just needing objective opinions on this matter. I have been dating a guy for about 15 months. We have been living together for the last 5 months. I have 2 children and he is very involved in their life. We are our own family. We do ev...
A. 19 December 2008: You know what? I'm biracial (and to people who are closed minded, half black and half white translates to Black) and I've never been a secret from anyones family. I can't imagine BEING a secret, I can't imagine being with someone who isn't thrilled ... (read in full...)
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