Like what
he writes?
... Add *cn to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
|
|
| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
|
I really like him and he says he doesnt. Should I kiss him anyways?
Q. I like this guy and I sent him a note asking if he liked me....but he cheked no.....and i still really like him and so does my friend but he said he doesnt like her either......and I still realllly reaaaaaly like him....should i just go up to him ...
A. 5 November 2007: You need to go get yourself some self esteem. Skinny is only a body type, and one of many. Not everyone is attracted to skinny girls. Keep your head up, your young, and will be changing over the next decade.
Take care... (read in full...)
I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated.
Q. I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated. She was so mad at me, and I am in tears about this. I don't understand why she thinks that it's so wrong!...
A. 27 October 2007: don't take it so hard. that was real evil of your mom to do. i have to tell you, i highly doubt (i know gross to think about) you mom, and the others who know haven't done it. it's not something that is really a rare event.... (read in full...)
I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated.
Q. I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated. She was so mad at me, and I am in tears about this. I don't understand why she thinks that it's so wrong!...
A. 27 October 2007: don't take it so hard. that was real evil of your mom to do. i have to tell you, i highly doubt (i know gross to think about) you mom, and the others who know haven't done it. it's not something that is really a rare event.... (read in full...)
I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated.
Q. I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated. She was so mad at me, and I am in tears about this. I don't understand why she thinks that it's so wrong!...
A. 27 October 2007: don't take it so hard. that was real evil of your mom to do. i have to tell you, i highly doubt (i know gross to think about) you mom, and the others who know haven't done it. it's not something that is really a rare event.... (read in full...)
Would it be unfair to move with my son out of the country?
Q. I am considering leaving our marriage but we have a 16 month old so I need to feel I have exhausted all options. We have been together 8 years now. In that time my husband has always done 'odd' stuff. I put it down to stress related to work, or ...
A. 27 October 2007: Just a remind also when making your decision. You didn't mention where your son was born, but I'll use the U.S. as an example. The Law here is a child born in this country becomes a natural citizen of the United States. Also moving can be difficult ... (read in full...)
Part of me tells me not to risk it, but the other part tells me too.
Q. I've been talking to this wonderful girl. We seem to get along well and we seem to be attracted to each other. The thing is that we plan on getting together on Monday where I will be driving up to where she lives. The plan on is getting a room and ...
A. 26 October 2007: Just one sided. I'd be protected. It's so easy for guys to say, I don't mind, but we also don't carry for 9 months, get fat, go through morning sickness, and have the pain of childbirth.
It's not fair to put her at risk.
You really don't know wha... (read in full...)
Was I in the wrong?
Q. 2 weeks ago something happen.....well it all started with my friend betrayed me by telling me my boyfriend was with another girl and then found out later that it wasn't true...but when i did think it was true i said to swear on his mom's grave....he ...
A. 26 October 2007: If his mom is passed, that was not a good thing to say. It's very disrespectful to him, and his feelings.
If they say you're in the wrong. Have them explain why they feel that way.... (read in full...)
Should we / How do we talk about sex?
Q. I just told my bestfriend that my boyfriend (of 6 months) rubbed my boob while we were making out. She immediately asked how I felt about it and I told her it was just for fun at the moment I wouldn't let it lead to anything, sex isn't an option for ...
A. 26 October 2007: You know your limit, if he starts to exceed your limit, you just simply move his hand away. He'll know, without actually having to have the talk.... (read in full...)
We were engaged, but we split. He has another girl now, will he ever come back to me?
Q. My fiance and i split nearly 2 weeks ago he sed he had to go and sort his head out he did it wen i was away the last night we spent together he sed he loved me and still wants to be with me all e did was kiss and cuddle me all the time. e went and ...
A. 26 October 2007: I don't have enough information to haven any idea if he'll be back or not. I would recommend you start working on yourself and begin moving on. It sounds like his mom is a bit more in his life and his decisions than she should be. She puts your ... (read in full...)
I really like him and he says he doesnt. Should I kiss him anyways?
Q. I like this guy and I sent him a note asking if he liked me....but he cheked no.....and i still really like him and so does my friend but he said he doesnt like her either......and I still realllly reaaaaaly like him....should i just go up to him ...
A. 25 October 2007: bad idea.... (read in full...)
I love him! BUT! He's still in love with his ex who doesn't love him, What can I do?
Q. im badly in love with a boy and weve done things together but he still loves his ex (who isnt interested in him). My mates dont like this boy so I havent told them how i feel about him they have no idea how i feel neither does the boy know i love ...
A. 25 October 2007: Then why don't you tell him how you feel. Let me tell you something. I still love my ex. I can't, and won't be with her, but I love her. I always will, we'll always be good friends and there are always certain qualities that I'll adore that she has ... (read in full...)
I told her I was a virgin, she avoided to talk about her; now she's ignoring me. What should I believe?
Q. I was talking to a girl i've liked a lot for years. she knows i like her. we were just talking when the topic of virginity came up. I am a virgin and i told her. she avoided the question and then got mad. she asked if i thought girls who lost their ...
A. 25 October 2007: When you do get a chance to talk to her again, and the subject comes up, listen to her with empathy. It almost sounds like, she loved him, but now she regrets not waiting until later.
I've met so many girls over the years that when they talk abo... (read in full...)
Which is more important to you? Penetration or orgasm?
Q. I am taking a poll. I would like to know what people think to gauge what is 'normal' This is mostly for the women, but men can chime in, too, if they have something pertinent to say. I am one of those women who just doesnt cum by intercou...
A. 25 October 2007: Well thank you for the male invitation. I think it's important to make the girl orgasm at least a couple of times before intercourse, I don't know for sure (i never really asked) it seems to make the orgasm during intercourse more explosive.... (read in full...)
I just want to be pretty like other girls.
Q. Well for the past months and weeks ive began to grow and develop and ive noticed myself as someone ugly in general. I think im ugly, and just the other day a boy called me it right in front of my face. im short. lacking alittle in the "upper" d...
A. 25 October 2007: Girl, you really don't want to be one of those girls. Lacking up top at your age is actually good for you. I know you must think I'm nuts, or so old I can't remember junior high. I tried to forget junior high, but I can't my kids have the same ... (read in full...)
My brother would do stuff to me while I would sleep.
Q. So I'm 16 and a few years ago my brother would do....stuff to me at night when he thought I was sleep, and it kept going on because I didn't know what to do. He would make me give him handjobs and blowjobs and he would finger me and stuff. during ...
A. 25 October 2007: It does affect you. People who say, "don't worry it doesn't affect me", it came at you like a time bomb just went off, didn't it.
Let me explain to you what happens. It affected you then, but then it was a small pea size affect. As long as you don'... (read in full...)
I am reposting this, please help, I'm concerned.
Q. i had posted this yesterday....................................................................i i am an american citizen. i met an australian man over the internet last year and things progressed with our relationship rapidly. like we were soul ...
A. 25 October 2007: This has nothing to do with your insecurity. It has to do with his. Do you understand what a triggered response is? That's where he says sorry, then it happens again, he says it again, then it happens again. That's why I recommended counseling for ... (read in full...)
I'm dumping my cheating partner is there still hope for me?
Q. I have been in a relation ship for almost ten years. We each have a daughter from our past relationships and together we have a little boy with Down Syndrome (who is gorgeous). My trouble is that my man is not my man, he seems to be everybody else's ...
A. 25 October 2007: Remember your children. He drinks, smokes pot, runs around with the meat market. What do you want the children to learn? They learn quite a few behaviors from their parents.
The way I look at these situations is, if he really loved you and want... (read in full...)
Ever since the beginning we knew we would get married. But now that it's drawing near, I'm scared!! Are we moving to fast?
Q. Hi! I am coming up to a really exciting time in my life. I am 21 and getting ready to graduate with my bachelors degree in a year. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years (since senior year of highschool). I never thought that I ...
A. 25 October 2007: It's normal to get scared. It's a change, it's a huge life decision. I know people who get scared like this when buying a car, or a house. I think your ready. You're not making a mistake. I know this by: "he is the most amazing guy I have ever met. ... (read in full...)
Do I stay in the marriage for the sake of the children?
Q. Help! I have been married for 25 years. Have 2 children. 6 and 9. For most of my marriage, my husband has refused to touch me. I used to think there was something wrong with me, but turns out, he is very messed up sexually, and we've just started ...
A. 25 October 2007: If you're not a wuss, and in pain, then deal with the pain. Your comment "I feel like I am DRUGGED from love with him." Are these feelings really real, or is he your drug to cover up and "hide" from reality?
All though he's willing to go to coun... (read in full...)
My ex is deluded how can I get rid of him
Q. My ex called and left a message to tell me he was mailing me my stuff (we used to live together). Anyway, a few days ago I told him to stop calling me because he just kept it up. He agreed to leave me alone unless I contacted him. Well, I contacted ...
A. 25 October 2007: Nope these are signs that it is extremely difficult for him to cope with this change. He calls you just because he want to hear your voice. Getting over himself is almost like telling him to go get drunk because then he'll feel better.
His acti... (read in full...)
Could he be a pedophile?
Q. okay, so my teacher is a nice guy. He's friendly and extremely nice. He doesn't really flirt with students, but if they want him to hug them or if they touch him a lot, he has no problem with that at all. I'm really worried about my friend, like ...
A. 25 October 2007: let's put it this way, for Halloween, he won't need to dress up, he's creepy enough.
If this teacher continues, I'd notify someone with authority at the school that he creeps you out.
I want you to learn this as a life lesson as well. You all... (read in full...)
Abuesed for ten years.
Q. I was sexually abused by my stepfather for about ten years and i was so afraid and ashamed to tell anyone..i finally got the courage to tell my boyfriend at age 17 and and he helped me to tell my mother..so i wrote my mother a letter telling her, ...
A. 25 October 2007: OK we'll have to take the other direction. Here is what you need to do. It's going to be difficult as well. It sucks than anything to change trauma is difficult. I wish there was a "you'll be better now" pill.
Family meeting. The way to get over... (read in full...)
My boyfriend pays more attention to himself than he does me.
Q. I jealous of the TV and the Xbox and the dog ... why, because they get more attention from my man, than what he gives me. It is a big issue for me, and it really hurts to see him so involved in TV and DVDs, but not "genuinely" interested in me. :( ...
A. 25 October 2007: You need to talk with him. Tell him how you feel. Let him know pay attention to you or the electronics, the dog, and him playing with himself will have to find a new home.... (read in full...)
Does my teacher like me a little too much?
Q. hi, im 18 years old and im in highschool, for the past 3 years ive been really close to my previous teacher, and i look up to him as a father figure. but ive always had this thought in my mind thats hes had differnt intentions.For example hes alwa...
A. 25 October 2007: I think his intentions are a bit over what yours are with him. He's not just being nice.... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair with my boss.
Q. I have worked at PH for about a 1.5 years. My boss and I are having an affair. He is married with 4 children. He has a wife that I like and admire, and I have a very loving boyfriend. He has flaws that I cannot handle sometimes such as he is lazy ...
A. 25 October 2007: You're right you seem to be extremely hard working.
You have a boyfriend, but having an affair with you boss. What a piece of work. Him not making you feel good because you weren't the only one he's had an affair with. That just tell me he's bee... (read in full...)
It was super glue, not lube.
Q. Hey Ok. This is a true story and I need help. My girlfriend and I recently decided to try new things in our relationship. We decided to try anal sex for the first time ever. Here is the problem: The night we decided to try it, it was the sa...
A. 24 October 2007: You need to press charges. This could have been worse. Do you want him to not learn his lesson, then what's next? When I was in Military School years ago, someone played a prank and super glued a guys eyelids closed. They had to be surgically ... (read in full...)
This woman is my world but she's married.
Q. i am 19 years old and i have been with this 31 year old woman for 8 months. she got 4 kids n she is married. but since we been together its been the best time of my life and hers even her family thinks that im the best person for her. she has no ...
A. 24 October 2007: Because playing with a "married women" never a good outcome. You have not rights to her, her husband does, and as far as her children. You say you love her and want her. I wonder if she's willing to give up her children for you. Some places, a women ... (read in full...)
Abuesed for ten years.
Q. I was sexually abused by my stepfather for about ten years and i was so afraid and ashamed to tell anyone..i finally got the courage to tell my boyfriend at age 17 and and he helped me to tell my mother..so i wrote my mother a letter telling her, ...
A. 24 October 2007: When it comes to sexual assault, molestation, rape, the last thing I'd worry about is someone's reputation. Let me ask you something, and I don't want to sound rude at all. What if that was your child. What would you do? Would you turn him over for ... (read in full...)
My brother would do stuff to me while I would sleep.
Q. So I'm 16 and a few years ago my brother would do....stuff to me at night when he thought I was sleep, and it kept going on because I didn't know what to do. He would make me give him handjobs and blowjobs and he would finger me and stuff. during ...
A. 24 October 2007: Yes this is really super wrong. You need to put an end to this behavior. Your brother is wrong for treating you this way. It shows absolutely no respect.... (read in full...)
Why is he making me feel guilty about wanting to remain quiet about some things.
Q. Over the summer my boyfriend's bestfriend met this girl and he fell... FAST. He set up a meeting for her to meet all of our friends. ...And i didn't like her. Recently he found out and kept asking me why. My boyfriend said it's because he values my ...
A. 24 October 2007: Don't worry about him. Just blow him off, he may have his reasons, but you have yours as well, and that needs to be respected.... (read in full...)
I've been sneaking out of the house.
Q. I have been sneaking out of my house and doing bad things. Last weekend me and my friend went to my friends house and stayed the night and said that we were staying at my other friends house. The next morning they called my friends mom, the girl who ...
A. 24 October 2007: So you think you do whatever you want to get back at her? So when you do this, does she drink more or less? Destructive behavior yourself is enough to make an alcoholic believe they have another reason to drink more.
You need to take resp... (read in full...)
This woman is my world but she's married.
Q. i am 19 years old and i have been with this 31 year old woman for 8 months. she got 4 kids n she is married. but since we been together its been the best time of my life and hers even her family thinks that im the best person for her. she has no ...
A. 24 October 2007: So, she's all ready married, doesn't know how old you are, has children. So you're deceiving her with your age, she's deceiving her husband and her children. Do you see anything at all wrong with this picture?
Go find someone who's not comm... (read in full...)
I'm not sure that honesty was the best policy
Q. I have been experiencing some very strong vibes from my girlfriend. She almost seems reluctant to tell me what is wrong. I know it has something to do with me, and I think I know what the problem is. She once told me, she would believe me until I ...
A. 24 October 2007: I'd tell her, that's fine but you can't be with her if she's doing drugs. Isn't it the number one rule when recovering "don't be around drugs or those who use them."
... (read in full...)
Does it hurt the second time?
Q. I had sex for the first time last year but haven't seen then because it was a holiday thing, but now i'm with this lad and just wanted to know if it hurts for the second time. it didnt really hurt me the first time that much but i bleed, does me not ...
A. 24 October 2007: It hurts all the time. (the act its self the pain may ease) Let me tell you what I mean, just for your own insight and since I can't seem to answer with just "yes" or "no". You need to watch how long you're with someone before giving into sex. Girls ... (read in full...)
How can I make her stop loving me?
Q. Ok well there is this girl who lives near me and we are great friends (theres a little crew of us). I have know her for a while and we are great friends, huging and all that stuff. Being truthful shes not particularly pretty, she has a bad temper ...
A. 23 October 2007: "you and I are such good friends, I wouldn't want that to change."
"you're such a great friend, dating would be like dating my sister."
"I just couldn't see you in another way other than being a friend because I treasure the friendship we share." ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to make the right choice for our daughter.
Q. iv been with my boyfriend for 2 years at start of this month (oct). we have been living together the whole time an have a beautiful little gil who is 14 months now. he wants to move to another town 15 miles away (were he is origionally from) but im ...
A. 23 October 2007: Talk to him about it. If you're not feeling loved by him, or in love with him, I'd wait before making any big move. But this is something you need to chat with him about. If you're not feeling it, you need to tell him. Maybe making some simple ... (read in full...)
Can my boyfriend have babies at the age of 37 and up?
Q. hello! im 21, and still have a family to make i have the man of 5years i want and love, i have always wanted to have kids my b/f is 37 if your some1 or no a man thats had kids this age please let me no an give me some hope for a family ive al...
A. 23 October 2007: Yes he can still have babies. My sons grandfather had a child when he was in his later 40's.... (read in full...)
I got upset by his "weight" comment. What should I do?
Q. Okay So I'm seeing this guy I met online...it's been almost a year now, and recently I noticed a few small comments about weight..."oh you should have seen this guy at the mall...he was HUGE!" things like that...My BF is in Japan and I am in the U...
A. 23 October 2007: You are hiding something. You're not calling him an arrogant asshole. You want to spend time with this guy "WHY"? Did you find this guy on one of those sites that warn people not to date him. You said your family members are bigger? I would love to ... (read in full...)
I had an affair, no love in my marriage.
Q. Im married and had had a affair for 4 and a half years. He is married too. Im 33 and he is 44. Weve been having a great time, really excellent sexual relationship - no comittment - no pressure - the all of a sudden he said he thinks it time to call ...
A. 23 October 2007: It's time to let the husband know what you've been up to for 4 1/2 years. The problem with affairs is NOT working to find out what's going on in the marriage. Your not allowed to have any kind of sexual relationship when your married. Be an adult ... (read in full...)
Why do I have sexual dreams, but I am never in the mood to have sex with my husband?
Q. I never get in the mood to have sex with my husband. We have only been married about 1 1/2 months. We were friends for a long time. I used to be in the mood every night, the last time I was pregnant. This pregnancy, I never want to. However I have ...
A. 23 October 2007: You need to experiment more with the hubby. Tell him what you want in bed to fill your dreams.
The dreams won't stop. We all have a dream like love life, but why not live some of them out. What's happening is it's more exciting for you to dream... (read in full...)
Someone please tell me what I am doing - I don't know myself!
Q. I don't know what I am doing. I have been with the same man for almost 20 years. We have been married for 13. We have 2 children. Although I had a couple of minor flings before I was married (as did my husband) I haven't even been close to doing ...
A. 23 October 2007: I don't know what you're doing either.
Remember, being a church goer. Temptation is out there. It's presented to you on a silver platter, taking it is what? Submitting yourself to temptation. Your challenge is to overcome temptation. I'm tempted ... (read in full...)
He feels he didn't do anything wrong because he didn't have sex.
Q. I luv and am stil inlove with my husband.But he hurt me and i feel betrayed. About 2mths ago i caught him having inappropriate conversations with women in chatrooms downloaded on his cellphone.I went thru his cell while he was sleeping cos he didnt ...
A. 23 October 2007: Tell him inappropriate conversations with a women when married, IS CHEATING. Just because he didn't have sex, doesn't matter. If he brings up you snooping, just let him know if he wasn't cheating you wouldn't be having this conversation. It's not ... (read in full...)
Do I stay in the marriage for the sake of the children?
Q. Help! I have been married for 25 years. Have 2 children. 6 and 9. For most of my marriage, my husband has refused to touch me. I used to think there was something wrong with me, but turns out, he is very messed up sexually, and we've just started ...
A. 23 October 2007: Can you have both? What kind of selfish question is that? You have children and want them to learn that sort of behavior. "Sure mom with my spouse tonight, but got one on the side, you must be so proud since you taught me that behavior." Then they ... (read in full...)
It was super glue, not lube.
Q. Hey Ok. This is a true story and I need help. My girlfriend and I recently decided to try new things in our relationship. We decided to try anal sex for the first time ever. Here is the problem: The night we decided to try it, it was the sa...
A. 23 October 2007: I think with something like that, pressing charges would be an important thing to do. ... (read in full...)
I am reposting this, please help, I'm concerned.
Q. i had posted this yesterday....................................................................i i am an american citizen. i met an australian man over the internet last year and things progressed with our relationship rapidly. like we were soul ...
A. 17 October 2007: Sometimes people are real damaged, and need help weeding through all these issues that caused it. It shows a low self esteem, that he's not good enough for someone to remain faithful. Unfortunately you won't be able to be that person. You have an ... (read in full...)
Would it be unfair to move with my son out of the country?
Q. I am considering leaving our marriage but we have a 16 month old so I need to feel I have exhausted all options. We have been together 8 years now. In that time my husband has always done 'odd' stuff. I put it down to stress related to work, or ...
A. 15 October 2007: I've done so much research on personality disorders. My ex was BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) They made some movies after this one such as "Fatal Attraction" and "Hand that rocks the cradle"
Generally behavior training assists in re-t... (read in full...)
Could he be a pedophile?
Q. okay, so my teacher is a nice guy. He's friendly and extremely nice. He doesn't really flirt with students, but if they want him to hug them or if they touch him a lot, he has no problem with that at all. I'm really worried about my friend, like ...
A. 14 October 2007: I'd just monitor their behavior. Teacher at times get close with students, not necessarily because they are interested in something else, but because they spend so much time with them and develop kind of a mentor bond with them.
Have you talk... (read in full...)
| *cn's friends
These are mutual friends, so *cn has
added them and they have added *cn!
|
