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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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My mum died 6 years ago, I'm now 12. My sisters are too lazy to cook for me. What can I do?
Q. This is a very small thing but to me it's annoying. I have two older sisters one 23 and one 21 they both live at home with me and my other sister who is 15. We just got a new cooker after two years of useing a microwave and grill. I was really ...
A. 30 October 2007: Ok, this makes more sense. I was under the impression your sisters were now raising the children.
Do your sister pay money for rent, etc.? I know when I was old enough to work, I paid a certain amount of my money from working toward rent in my pare... (read in full...)
My mum died 6 years ago, I'm now 12. My sisters are too lazy to cook for me. What can I do?
Q. This is a very small thing but to me it's annoying. I have two older sisters one 23 and one 21 they both live at home with me and my other sister who is 15. We just got a new cooker after two years of useing a microwave and grill. I was really ...
A. 29 October 2007: I'm sorry to hear about your mom. This must be a difficult transition for you. I know your all having to go through this. Could the issue be that your sisters have been placed in this parenting role and psychologically they're still being affected ... (read in full...)
My mum died 6 years ago, I'm now 12. My sisters are too lazy to cook for me. What can I do?
Q. This is a very small thing but to me it's annoying. I have two older sisters one 23 and one 21 they both live at home with me and my other sister who is 15. We just got a new cooker after two years of useing a microwave and grill. I was really ...
A. 29 October 2007: I'm sorry to hear about your mom. This must be a difficult transition for you. I know your all having to go through this. Could the issue be that your sisters have been placed in this parenting role and psychologically they're still being affected ... (read in full...)
My mum died 6 years ago, I'm now 12. My sisters are too lazy to cook for me. What can I do?
Q. This is a very small thing but to me it's annoying. I have two older sisters one 23 and one 21 they both live at home with me and my other sister who is 15. We just got a new cooker after two years of useing a microwave and grill. I was really ...
A. 29 October 2007: I'm sorry to hear about your mom. This must be a difficult transition for you. I know your all having to go through this. Could the issue be that your sisters have been placed in this parenting role and psychologically they're still being affected ... (read in full...)
I've got a crazy mother! Anyone else have this problem?
Q. My mom hates me. I am friends with one of her friends and she says she feels that she loves me, but she hates me also. A couple of days ago she had a huge fit and started crying because she was upset that I put the frying pan in the washing machine ...
A. 29 October 2007: If you can give more examples with how she treats you, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.... (read in full...)
He's trying it on with me but he's got a 7 months pregnant girlfriend!
Q. I lost my virginity to a guy i was dating nearly two years ago..he ended things quite soon after because he got back with his ex....so i never really got over him but carried on with things as normal. Completly out of the blue i got an email f...
A. 29 October 2007: I know you have feelings for him, but if you don't mind I'd like to answer one of your questions. He wanted to know if you could commit to a relationship. Lets see, you're both making out knowing there is this other women who's carrying his baby, um ... (read in full...)
Caught in a Love Triangle
Q. i met 2 guys in the same week , didnt mean to , i really liked both , then one wanted to be more serious and become a couple , so i had choose so choose him , just before this , i didnt tell the other guy about him , i just kept him sweet , but we ...
A. 29 October 2007: Then end it. When caught in this type of triangle, separate yourself from the triangle.
That's all I can offer, I can see why your confused, reading your story, confused me.... (read in full...)
Why would someone choose to live like this?
Q. I am at my wit's end. My roommate/ex-boyfriend has had terrible hygiene for as long as I can remember. He has not showered in over two months. Many people cannot fathom going that long without a shower, but I am not exaggerating when I say it has ...
A. 29 October 2007: I'd be driven nuts as well. I've run into people like that before. I worked in a small store, I bet after she left it took half a day to get that smell out of there with candles.
I'd let him know, you need to lay down the rules. If everyone is one ... (read in full...)
He says our relationship is getting stale, I don't agree, how can I talk him round?
Q. Well, my boyfriend and I have been having a little bit of trouble, we took a break for about 2 and a half weeks just to give each other space. We haven't fought, just one heated conversation which we got over. He says he's scared that our ...
A. 29 October 2007: You took a break. Big problem in relationships, since the relationship its self usually is not the problem. But the problem for taking a break is, a break means something not working. Instead of staying in the relationship and working on an issue, ... (read in full...)
I'm not a virgin, but I'm scared of having sex with my new bf, what should I do?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year now. And we dated years ago in jr. high too. ne way. We havent ever had sex yet, i mean we have done other stuff like kiss and hes fingered me and i've given him a hand job. but now he wants to ha...
A. 29 October 2007: You mention you regret having sex with the other person. How much do you regret it? How much guilt are you carrying for it? You love this new guy, but when you feel guilt from past events, sometimes that guilt prevents us from taking action with ... (read in full...)
Should I give up all together, or take a very long break?
Q. hey people i have been badly hurt from mostly all of my relationships and well now i'm wondering if i should just give up altogether or take a very very long break because i'm just to scared to let another man into my life. plus know i keep getting ...
A. 29 October 2007: If you're getting hurt, take a break. Boys and girls are different when your young in a boyfriend and girlfriend positions. Boys at your age haven't developed skills or relationship emotions. They date generally because it's the cool thing to do. ... (read in full...)
Girls really confuse me, what's going on?
Q. Please try not to judge me... I give the impression that I am interested in one thing, and one thing only (sex). Or, so I'm told. When I do things with women, I fully intend to pursue a relationship afterward. I don't consider myself a whore, ...
A. 29 October 2007: You need to change your behavior. Going out and getting some weekend action, I don't know how big your town is, but the town I grew up in, word gets around real quick. People who'd go out every weekend, would quickly know who are the weekend lovers ... (read in full...)
Help!, how can I tell if I'm a Lesbian?
Q. Okay, well here's the thing...I am having trouble with the fact that I don't know whether I am lesbian or not. I don't know how to put this all in words but, it seems that everytime I see a girl you would consider hot I automatically start thinking ...
A. 29 October 2007: It's normal for women to fantasize about other women. The time to find out is if you have a "same sex" experience. I've known women who during the fantasy phase see it as an enjoyable experience, but once actually tried, some find it's not as ... (read in full...)
I really don't think he'd hurt me, but I'm confused?
Q. i have a bit of an issue. i am completely in love with a man that i have been with for almost a year. we both are very similar, have had very bad mentally and physically abusive relationships in the past. and we are each others support system. he is ...
A. 29 October 2007: We're working on these issues together. You need to seek psychological treatment. I must have skimmed over this question earlier, but we generally don't approve questions that mention suicide. Working on these issues with your boyfriend, is not ... (read in full...)
How can I find the right guy?
Q. Hey. well, it's been like 2 1/2 years since i had a relationship. I want to get back out there. I am ready, it's just, with the guys i've liked, it never works out. Like 2 summers ago, one guy was too far away, this summer, i lost interest i...
A. 28 October 2007: OK you want someone like you. I find girls hold high expectations many times when looking for guys.
Do you by any chance own a copy of the movie "Greese"? There are so many "chick" flicks on the market, and it's hard sometimes for young ladies to u... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's father has underpaid him... what should he do?
Q. Here it goes...I'm speaking on my boyfriends behalf. My boyfriend works for his fathers company. September made it his 8th year with the company. My boyfriend is 25 and has nothing to show for it but a bunch of debt. He's worked his ass off for his ...
A. 28 October 2007: First of all, get all agreements in writing, I don't care if it's a relative or not. No he's not out of luck. He can go to the Department of Labor, and file a wage claim. I'd have him talk about it before, so maybe something can be negotiated. If it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's father has underpaid him... what should he do?
Q. Here it goes...I'm speaking on my boyfriends behalf. My boyfriend works for his fathers company. September made it his 8th year with the company. My boyfriend is 25 and has nothing to show for it but a bunch of debt. He's worked his ass off for his ...
A. 28 October 2007: First of all, get all agreements in writing, I don't care if it's a relative or not. No he's not out of luck. He can go to the Department of Labor, and file a wage claim. I'd have him talk about it before, so maybe something can be negotiated. If it ... (read in full...)
Is there any need to get married over co-habiting?
Q. Hi Whats are your views on marriage vs cohabitation. Is there any need to get married? Is marriage putting your money where your mouth is or am I just old fashioned? Thanks...
A. 28 October 2007: I don't know what UK laws are. I see marriage as a commitment over just shacking up. If you're really in love, there's no reason to not have that commitment. Also if one person passes and they don't have a will made up, in a cohabitation the ... (read in full...)
I'm confused and very angry.
Q. Hello I don't know if you can help but this is driving me mad. I was married and wife had affair so i divorced her. I'm 38 and met a woman online over two years ago. We chatted for around 4 month. Being totally upfront and honest about our pas...
A. 28 October 2007: I did notice you divorced her. My point was not your behavior, it's picking mates for yourself who display the same behaviors. ... (read in full...)
I can't get divorced because of religious/ culteral reasons.
Q. I have been married for 21 years. I have 2 children, both teenagers.My husband is a workaholic, we rarely spend time with each other. Since the birth of our last child in 1993 our sex life has dwindle to almost nothing. If we do have sex, i usually ...
A. 28 October 2007: So you know because of your religion affairs are probably not looked at as an OK to your problem.
He's married too. Just great. Why don't you sit down with your teens and let the know what you want to do, and let them know it's OK because mom does... (read in full...)
Husband acting strange about escourt wife's activities.
Q. i am working in an in-call escort service and i am married. i love my hubbie and we have a pretty good sex life, but he is getting older and wants sex less frequently. but that is no problem for me, since as an escort i am getting all the sex i ...
A. 28 October 2007: I'll tell you, I am really glad at the end you asked for advise from girls, I don't think you'd like to hear what I had to say. ... (read in full...)
Husband acting strange about escourt wife's activities.
Q. i am working in an in-call escort service and i am married. i love my hubbie and we have a pretty good sex life, but he is getting older and wants sex less frequently. but that is no problem for me, since as an escort i am getting all the sex i ...
A. 28 October 2007: I'll tell you, I am really glad at the end you asked for advise from girls, I don't think you'd like to hear what I had to say. ... (read in full...)
How can we find our daughter?
Q. my daughter joined a cultic relationship. he made her change sch stop contact with family and friends and moved her away. now she seems to have left him but we have no idea where she is. we think its a cult farm, any ideas of how we can find out ...
A. 28 October 2007: As a parent I really feel for your family.
I would try also to run a search for ex-cult support groups. They may know where this one is, or the leader of it. At least they can give you a good view of what you'd be looking at from an inside p... (read in full...)
I'm confused and very angry.
Q. Hello I don't know if you can help but this is driving me mad. I was married and wife had affair so i divorced her. I'm 38 and met a woman online over two years ago. We chatted for around 4 month. Being totally upfront and honest about our pas...
A. 27 October 2007: Why are you so pissed. This should be expected. Let me ask you to think about something. How was her previous sex life she shared with you. Did she have one night stands? What was her past like. The reason I ask is one thing that baffles me quite a ... (read in full...)
I'm confused and very angry.
Q. Hello I don't know if you can help but this is driving me mad. I was married and wife had affair so i divorced her. I'm 38 and met a woman online over two years ago. We chatted for around 4 month. Being totally upfront and honest about our pas...
A. 27 October 2007: Why are you so pissed. This should be expected. Let me ask you to think about something. How was her previous sex life she shared with you. Did she have one night stands? What was her past like. The reason I ask is one thing that baffles me quite a ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend keeps allowing his mother to interfere to the point she does things to destroy us saying it's in his best interest?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and he has allowed his mother to interfer to the point we haven't been able to get married and we don't live together any more. She does things to destroy us and tells him it's all in his best interest. ...
A. 27 October 2007: It sounds like he has some real growing up to do. He needs to tell his mom that it's his life, he respects her advise, but she needs to loosen the leash and let him make his decisions and mistakes without being there to wipe his butt every time he ... (read in full...)
How do I focus on my marriage, when I still think about the man I couldn't date as he was my brother's best friend?
Q. I have beening carrying a flame for my brother best friend for a long time, I was his 1st but we never dated because of my brother, we had a fling for a while without him know and hooked up again, I am now married for one year, but I think of him a ...
A. 27 October 2007: Being slightly realistic. This was a fling. If it was meant to be, it would have happened. It's unfair to your husband to focus on this other person. We all have a past. We all wonder "what if", "should of", "could of", "would of", but it didn't ... (read in full...)
Should I abandon my morals to boost my self-esteem?
Q. Hi there, I'm a Christian and seem to be have trouble in relationships. I seem to end up getting tricked and cheated on all the time. I'm honest and truthful, but seem to get tricked and played. I feel like I put a lot of effort and get little i...
A. 27 October 2007: So what you're saying is being a Christian is just a tile? You'd be willing to compromise your morals because of the acts of others? I look at the behaviors you're talking about as challenges. In the Bible it states the fact that during this li... (read in full...)
Is he trying to get us back in a relationship?
Q. I probabaly know the answers here but need some validation from others as well. I was seeing a member of management at my job at the beginning of this year. Well, the people at our work started huge allegations about him and I so we stopped immediat...
A. 27 October 2007: I think maybe a bit of both, but you need to look at the professional ethics around dating a member of management. Many companies have rules preventing management to have non business relationships with employees.
In the United States, it also viol... (read in full...)
I have an abusive brother. Why doesn't my mum listen to me and do something about it?
Q. Well, I know this is probably wrong to say, but I hate my brother...I mean REALLY hate; I can't stand to be around him. He's physically abused me 3/4 times 2 when I was alone with him, he mostly strangles me and chucks things at me with force, h...
A. 27 October 2007: Your brother sounds like a real winner "not". Why is your brother still living at home at 30 years old? Isn't he a bit old for your mom to continue wiping his butt?
If you don't want to go seek assistance, which at his age I'd hold him resp... (read in full...)
I have an abusive brother. Why doesn't my mum listen to me and do something about it?
Q. Well, I know this is probably wrong to say, but I hate my brother...I mean REALLY hate; I can't stand to be around him. He's physically abused me 3/4 times 2 when I was alone with him, he mostly strangles me and chucks things at me with force, h...
A. 27 October 2007: Your brother sounds like a real winner "not". Why is your brother still living at home at 30 years old? Isn't he a bit old for your mom to continue wiping his butt?
If you don't want to go seek assistance, which at his age I'd hold him resp... (read in full...)
Do you think she cheated on me?
Q. I have no idea why this is bothering me so much. Usually this type of thing never bothers me, and I do not know why it is bothering me now. My girlfriend has always acted bi-curious, and it never bothered me. She would tell me things, like, he...
A. 27 October 2007: Girls that age I wouldn't call them a-sexual or bi-sexual. I know women go through a phase which is more bi-curious. I have quite a few female friends, and I can't remember one who has not been with another girl at least once.
With her, your sti... (read in full...)
I have an abusive brother. Why doesn't my mum listen to me and do something about it?
Q. Well, I know this is probably wrong to say, but I hate my brother...I mean REALLY hate; I can't stand to be around him. He's physically abused me 3/4 times 2 when I was alone with him, he mostly strangles me and chucks things at me with force, h...
A. 27 October 2007: This has to be extremely difficult for you. How much older is your brother? If it was my mom, I'd tell her to wake up and smell the coffee, because she's really ignoring what's going on around her.
I would go to a counselor at your school and talk... (read in full...)
I want to orgasm without having to do the work myself, advice on positions please?
Q. When i want to have an orgasm I need to rub my clitoris with my fingers or use a vibrator at the same time while having sex. My boyfriend says he has never experienced this before. What position can I try that will rub my clitoris without having to ...
A. 27 October 2007: From my experience, if not too much four play, many women have difficulty having orgasm's just from having sex.
I know what you mean by stimulating. If I'm with a gal and know she's getting close, just needs that extra bit of assistance, I rub it f... (read in full...)
Do you think she cheated on me?
Q. I have no idea why this is bothering me so much. Usually this type of thing never bothers me, and I do not know why it is bothering me now. My girlfriend has always acted bi-curious, and it never bothered me. She would tell me things, like, he...
A. 27 October 2007: It would take quite a bit of pot smoking for someone to not remember what they did. I never really did it myself, but my brother sure did. He'd remember everything he munched on afterward as well.
I think there is something up with how she's beha... (read in full...)
I'm tired of her mood swings. How do I deal?
Q. I've been dating a beautiful and smart woman for a year and a half now. After a rough start, it's been for the most part really good. But she is a bit bi-polar. When she's not working, she's the most wonderful woman in the world, but when she has ...
A. 27 October 2007: Take her to a doctor for proper diagnosis. It sounds as if it were bi polar, stress seems to be it's trigger. I'm thinking their may be a form of "situational anxiety disorder"
It sounds to me as you're her release. People with these disorders have... (read in full...)
BF cannot open up emotionally. He has been humiliated.
Q. Hi guys, my boyfriend (34) and I (32) have been seeing each other for 4 months, but we are finding it really hard to communicate with each other. We love each other dearly but find we are already losing our way and don't know what to do to stop it. ...
A. 27 October 2007: "Lets sit down and talk" that's a good way to start.
Here is what I want BOTH of you to do. I want you to write down the hurt and pain others have caused you. List each word you "still" feel hurt by. You have some issues left to be resolved... (read in full...)
Long story - I need advice please...
Q. Okay, here is what I need advice on. I've been seeing this girl for almost 2 years. the last 8 weeks has been the hardest. She has a friend that lives in San Fransisco. 8 weeks ago she goes up to hang out with her friend. She likes to go out to ...
A. 27 October 2007: You need to leave this one alone. She's the one who's playing games with you, you didn't bring it on, but you're allowing it to happen.
Sometimes you may love someone, but it doesn't mean it will work out. This one would not. She's too easy, she ... (read in full...)
Do I tell him I'm a virgin or not?
Q. Hello, I was wondering if anybody could help me? I am 20 (almost 21) years old and at university. I am still a virgin, mainly because I am very shy around guys and have always got cold feet whenever I got close to getting intimate with a guy. But ...
A. 27 October 2007: I think being a virgin shows a lot for who you are. It's a great and (unfortunately) rare quality. I would tell him. Not telling him brings that element of dishonesty into the relationship. If he's a keeper, he'll find that to be very attractive and ... (read in full...)
Do I tell him I'm a virgin or not?
Q. Hello, I was wondering if anybody could help me? I am 20 (almost 21) years old and at university. I am still a virgin, mainly because I am very shy around guys and have always got cold feet whenever I got close to getting intimate with a guy. But ...
A. 27 October 2007: I think being a virgin shows a lot for who you are. It's a great and (unfortunately) rare quality. I would tell him. Not telling him brings that element of dishonesty into the relationship. If he's a keeper, he'll find that to be very attractive and ... (read in full...)
Do I tell him I'm a virgin or not?
Q. Hello, I was wondering if anybody could help me? I am 20 (almost 21) years old and at university. I am still a virgin, mainly because I am very shy around guys and have always got cold feet whenever I got close to getting intimate with a guy. But ...
A. 27 October 2007: I think being a virgin shows a lot for who you are. It's a great and (unfortunately) rare quality. I would tell him. Not telling him brings that element of dishonesty into the relationship. If he's a keeper, he'll find that to be very attractive and ... (read in full...)
I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated.
Q. I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated. She was so mad at me, and I am in tears about this. I don't understand why she thinks that it's so wrong!...
A. 27 October 2007: don't take it so hard. that was real evil of your mom to do. i have to tell you, i highly doubt (i know gross to think about) you mom, and the others who know haven't done it. it's not something that is really a rare event.... (read in full...)
I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated.
Q. I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated. She was so mad at me, and I am in tears about this. I don't understand why she thinks that it's so wrong!...
A. 27 October 2007: don't take it so hard. that was real evil of your mom to do. i have to tell you, i highly doubt (i know gross to think about) you mom, and the others who know haven't done it. it's not something that is really a rare event.... (read in full...)
I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated.
Q. I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated. She was so mad at me, and I am in tears about this. I don't understand why she thinks that it's so wrong!...
A. 27 October 2007: don't take it so hard. that was real evil of your mom to do. i have to tell you, i highly doubt (i know gross to think about) you mom, and the others who know haven't done it. it's not something that is really a rare event.... (read in full...)
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