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... Send *cn a private message | | | *cn's profile:Like many others on here, I've had my share of relationship issues. I've been in an abusive relationship, where I was the abused. I've had times where I'd drink and party a bit much, times of depression and really feeling lost as to what I should be doing to improve my life and the lives of my children.
I have four children. I'm a single parent, of two children a boy (19) and a girl (10). My ex-wife has the two children we share living with her, 2 girls (16, and 14).
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| Latest articles: Know who you're with
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2008: This is an article I received from local news. When reading this I think about how important it is to know who you know, and to notice changes in the behaviors of others. In cases like this, the agressor displays subtle signs prior to acting. He may ...
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How do I get over how my ex abused me emotionally? He made me feel guilty for not wanting sex before marriage, for ex.
Q. How do I get over what he did to me? I broke up with my fiance a month ago because he was very emotionally abusive. He hasn't been leaving me alone, and though I shouldn't have called him last night, I did because I'm sick of him harassing me on ...
A. 27 November 2007: Remember forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, not does it mean they really deserve the forgiveneess. You forgive them in your heart to clear out the pain they caused you, so you can move on and be happy. You don't need to cary this hate with you, if ... (read in full...)
I feel I should give up on him and move on.
Q. Hmm, this is hard to write down because I can't quite get my head around it. The thing is the guy I am with has four children of his own and 2 of his late wifes where as I don't have any I am 18 years old and he is 17 years older than I am. His...
A. 8 November 2007: Nobody deserves to die. You're not stealing her life. Being a parent myself, if I were married, and I passed I would want my wife to find someone who's good to her and good to the children. If you love being with him, I think you should give it a ... (read in full...)
I need someone to listen and give me advice.
Q. Hey I'm going through a really bad time at the moment, I've just finished High School and started at college (UK kind of college, not US) and I properly hate it, I'm missing loads of my lessons because I can't be bothered and whenever I think...
A. 7 November 2007: You're right, you do have some difficult obstacles going on. Sometimes everything just comes down at once. Do you know what I learned. It's OK if it does. Now I don't know about you, but I don't think people in law practice cutting themselves.
L... (read in full...)
Best friend drama
Q. ok my so called best friend got my boyfriend to dump me and says chelsea i miss being friends and he teacher took the note and said go to the councler tomarrow what should i say ...
A. 7 November 2007: Go see the counselor and talk to them. It's not a good friend to break you guys up, but it doesn't say much for the boy to let it happen.... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about not meeting his parents.
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend now for 5 years, and I have still not met his parents, all though we do come from to different racial backgrounds, Im am white and he is asain. I love him so much and I really do want to meet his parents, and he still ...
A. 7 November 2007: I think after 5 years definitely time to meet the parents. There shouldn't be any "in time" junk. Who cares about the different backgrounds, it's your relationship not the parents. ... (read in full...)
I cheated and can't get over the guilt.
Q. I cheated on my husband and can't deal with the guilt.I want a divorce but he does'nt.What should I do?...
A. 7 November 2007: Do you want a divorce because of the guilt or because you are out of love with him... (read in full...)
I want to feel the explosion, the shaking inside just once.
Q. This may seem silly but I would really appreciate help with this one. I have, not unlike other women, never reached orgasm. I'm comfortable with my self and happy trying to please myself, I get very turned on but nothing else. Im in an amazin...
A. 7 November 2007: I'm sorry, but there's no magic spell we can cast on you to have one. The only advise I can give you is changing positions in four play. When you're getting excited and feel it raising give a sign to your boyfriend so he knows to focus on that spot, ... (read in full...)
There's no room downstairs, is there something wrong with me?
Q. hey guys! i have a problem and i know u've heard it all before but.. my vagina is far to tight for sex, no matter how relaxed i am, i've read other peoples answers to this problem (e.g. relax, take it slow etc) and i've tried it all, ive even tried ...
A. 7 November 2007: This is not what I expected to find. Dealing with emotional problems and different disorders, this is a first I'd seen this one. Here is the pasted information I found. It's copied from: http://www.embarrassingproblems.co.uk/sex_vagina.htm
I hop... (read in full...)
I love him, don't want to cheat, but don't know what to do
Q. hi everyone thanks for reading this post. Basically I am engaged to a lovely man and I love him dearly - we met online 2 yrs ago and are getting married in 2009. We have a very happy relationship however we haven't had sex in the last year and I ...
A. 7 November 2007: If you love him, and plan on marrying him, then what you have to do is continue loving him. True love is where you put this relationship and your fiance above personal desire. If you really love him, cheating then is not an option. If you do choose ... (read in full...)
How do I get over how my ex abused me emotionally? He made me feel guilty for not wanting sex before marriage, for ex.
Q. How do I get over what he did to me? I broke up with my fiance a month ago because he was very emotionally abusive. He hasn't been leaving me alone, and though I shouldn't have called him last night, I did because I'm sick of him harassing me on ...
A. 7 November 2007: He is such a manipulator. He got you when you were together trying to get you to compromise your wish of waiting, then when your apart, he's doing the same by "all of a sudden" seeing things the same way.
You should really be grateful that you two ... (read in full...)
I might be pregnant and don't have a ride or money for the test.
Q. im very young and i think im pregnany by my ex bf. but my current bf will hate me and my ex bf that i think im pregnant by is mad at me and pretty much hates me. i havnt felt like eating my stomach is getting hard and i have no appetite. my...
A. 7 November 2007: You did fine. Good job for your first post... (read in full...)
My fiance says this guy was just a friend, so why didn't she introduce him to me?
Q. I have found out,that after years of being told Iam keeping secrets,that my fiance herself has had her own secrets. Basicaly,she has told lie after lie about who is on the other side of a phone number that keeps cropping up. She has finaly admitted ...
A. 7 November 2007: First let me address her again. If this guy was someone you hadn't seen for years, you just bumped into him without any additional intentions, how did he get your cell phone number to sent text messages. Did you mention to him at the bar that you ... (read in full...)
What to do if he never accepts responsibility.
Q. What should you do if you have a boyfriend who nevers accepts responsibility for his wrong doing or manipulates situations to make me feel i've done something wrong when i haven't. For example he was hiding his phone and i knew there was somthi...
A. 7 November 2007: Why would he tell an ex that you're going through a patch, unless he's seeking some sort of comfort for what may have been happening at the time? I'd ask him why it's takes two weeks to come out with a simple truth?
Why is love so complicated? I re... (read in full...)
My fiance says this guy was just a friend, so why didn't she introduce him to me?
Q. I have found out,that after years of being told Iam keeping secrets,that my fiance herself has had her own secrets. Basicaly,she has told lie after lie about who is on the other side of a phone number that keeps cropping up. She has finaly admitted ...
A. 7 November 2007: I don't know who's cheating on who, but I both sides are correct, get some pre-marital help before saying I do. Now since there is no reply from the male reader, to the female reader: If it's an innocent "old" friend connection, why lie about who's ... (read in full...)
How can I keep from going back in to the same old rut with my b/f and make myself a little harder to get?
Q. We are back together again my ex and I . My ex fiance kept comming around and only a few day after I left my ex b/f house he was calling. It only took a few weeks before he approached me and wanted to go riding. It was late and we rode around ...
A. 7 November 2007: Just keep in mind what you're doing now to keep things excited. People get into ruts in relationships, business, education, all sorts of life activities. What I have always heard recommended which I'm sure would be beneficial in relationships as ... (read in full...)
I might be pregnant and don't have a ride or money for the test.
Q. im very young and i think im pregnany by my ex bf. but my current bf will hate me and my ex bf that i think im pregnant by is mad at me and pretty much hates me. i havnt felt like eating my stomach is getting hard and i have no appetite. my...
A. 7 November 2007: I would seek assistance from a doctor. Notify your school nurse. Their may be a possibility of pregnancy. I pulled up a quick medical search using the symptoms you provided. There a lot more issues that include those symptoms, and it's going to take ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure what to do. His ex and kids don't know about me
Q. I am very jealous of my boyfriends kids and his ex. he was with her for nine years and they broke up in 1998. His kids or his ex do not know about me, and he tells me its none of her business. I don't have any kids and I think something else is ...
A. 7 November 2007: If I was in this situation and waiting until I put a ring on her finger, my daughters would kick my rear. Does he have visitation time, or does he just hide you in the bathroom when they come over?
Ask him these: What is it about me that you feel... (read in full...)
I'm still like the other women.
Q. Feeling torn...meaning my heart. I have been in a long term relationship for 6 years. We had a child together. She is now 2. He is still legally married but has been separated for probably 5 1/2 years of our relationship. We recently moved ...
A. 7 November 2007: Let him know how you feel. This is really not fair to you. Also when you do mention this. Until he is divorced, he is still financially liable for anything his wife does. If she bounces checks, he's liable for repayment. It could become a huge ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a perv?
Q. Me and my bf have been 2gether over a year and we've never had sex. We're both experienced in this dept but he was in a relationship with a MUCH younger girl (she was barely 17, he was 28). I feel like because I am 30 and not a "young buck" ...
A. 7 November 2007: You should maybe post a question regarding some of these issues that are directly affecting your ability to make good choices. The answer to one of your questions is "if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what your getting." ... (read in full...)
I'm confused, I kissed this older guy, now I don't know what to do?
Q. I like this guy alot and I have for a while but I dont know what to do...Last night we were at a party together and he was upset while makeing himself some food and I was just like whats wrong and he said his daughter and I just look at him with all ...
A. 7 November 2007: You're a bit young for dating an older guy. It's against the law. Now if he did remember, he may be covering his tracks by saying he does not because he knows at your age, the law doesn't take into consideration what you want to do until you turn ... (read in full...)
I'm confused, I kissed this older guy, now I don't know what to do?
Q. I like this guy alot and I have for a while but I dont know what to do...Last night we were at a party together and he was upset while makeing himself some food and I was just like whats wrong and he said his daughter and I just look at him with all ...
A. 7 November 2007: You're a bit young for dating an older guy. It's against the law. Now if he did remember, he may be covering his tracks by saying he does not because he knows at your age, the law doesn't take into consideration what you want to do until you turn ... (read in full...)
My mistress says she will leave her husband in 18months, but she still puts his interests above mine, does this mean she is not genuine in her desire to leave him?
Q. i am having an affair with a woman i met online. She is in a loveless relationship she has had for nearly 20 years. They also have 3 children who are nearly grown up. She tells me that once her youngest has graduated (about 18 months time) she will...
A. 7 November 2007: Seeing married women, not a good choice. As far as I can tell marriage is still deceit. When someone is capable of deceiving another person, Have you met the husband? Did you verify it's a loveless marriage? Could she just be a serial cheater, lying ... (read in full...)
My mistress says she will leave her husband in 18months, but she still puts his interests above mine, does this mean she is not genuine in her desire to leave him?
Q. i am having an affair with a woman i met online. She is in a loveless relationship she has had for nearly 20 years. They also have 3 children who are nearly grown up. She tells me that once her youngest has graduated (about 18 months time) she will...
A. 7 November 2007: Seeing married women, not a good choice. As far as I can tell marriage is still deceit. When someone is capable of deceiving another person, Have you met the husband? Did you verify it's a loveless marriage? Could she just be a serial cheater, lying ... (read in full...)
My mistress says she will leave her husband in 18months, but she still puts his interests above mine, does this mean she is not genuine in her desire to leave him?
Q. i am having an affair with a woman i met online. She is in a loveless relationship she has had for nearly 20 years. They also have 3 children who are nearly grown up. She tells me that once her youngest has graduated (about 18 months time) she will...
A. 7 November 2007: Seeing married women, not a good choice. As far as I can tell marriage is still deceit. When someone is capable of deceiving another person, Have you met the husband? Did you verify it's a loveless marriage? Could she just be a serial cheater, lying ... (read in full...)
My mistress says she will leave her husband in 18months, but she still puts his interests above mine, does this mean she is not genuine in her desire to leave him?
Q. i am having an affair with a woman i met online. She is in a loveless relationship she has had for nearly 20 years. They also have 3 children who are nearly grown up. She tells me that once her youngest has graduated (about 18 months time) she will...
A. 7 November 2007: Seeing married women, not a good choice. As far as I can tell marriage is still deceit. When someone is capable of deceiving another person, Have you met the husband? Did you verify it's a loveless marriage? Could she just be a serial cheater, lying ... (read in full...)
My mistress says she will leave her husband in 18months, but she still puts his interests above mine, does this mean she is not genuine in her desire to leave him?
Q. i am having an affair with a woman i met online. She is in a loveless relationship she has had for nearly 20 years. They also have 3 children who are nearly grown up. She tells me that once her youngest has graduated (about 18 months time) she will...
A. 7 November 2007: Seeing married women, not a good choice. As far as I can tell marriage is still deceit. When someone is capable of deceiving another person, Have you met the husband? Did you verify it's a loveless marriage? Could she just be a serial cheater, lying ... (read in full...)
My mistress says she will leave her husband in 18months, but she still puts his interests above mine, does this mean she is not genuine in her desire to leave him?
Q. i am having an affair with a woman i met online. She is in a loveless relationship she has had for nearly 20 years. They also have 3 children who are nearly grown up. She tells me that once her youngest has graduated (about 18 months time) she will...
A. 7 November 2007: Seeing married women, not a good choice. As far as I can tell marriage is still deceit. When someone is capable of deceiving another person, Have you met the husband? Did you verify it's a loveless marriage? Could she just be a serial cheater, lying ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of visiting my cousin now but its all booked. What can I do?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend on and off for almost 3years and he’s quite controlling and has double standards. My family don’t get on with him and it’s always causing conflict. We split about a month ago and now he’s just returned from 2 weeks aw...
A. 6 November 2007: Realistically, don't you think if these problems were actually going on, you'd all ready be aware of them. What makes him so aware of this when he's not their family, you are. You said he's controlling. Something about controlling people is they ... (read in full...)
My girl treats me like dirt because of the bad influence of her best friend
Q. my girlfriend of 2 years is the love of my life, currently i thought everything is still going good. im in the u.s. coast guard and when i met her i was young, and she was young. everything was fine. she was in love with me, she said she would ...
A. 6 November 2007: If I were you I'd be asking her questions. Such as how she feels about the relationship. What are her plans. Why after being apart for 5 months all ready does she feel it's time for a break? etc.
Remember her moving is about her, but it bene... (read in full...)
My ex cheated on me and broke up with me over the phone. I'm 13, help...
Q. My ex cheated on my with this very fat girl I used to be mates with. And he dumped me by text while i was away for the half term. I was well upset, and it only was three weeks or a months since we've been dating. Everyone keeps calming me down at ...
A. 6 November 2007: Cheating hurts, but I want you need to understand that cheating is generally just a selfish action that has nothing to do with an intent to harm someone else. It does end up hurting, and I'm sure he knew that it would, but he did the action because ... (read in full...)
We've just started dating, but we can't find anything to do together that doesn't cost a lot, help us!
Q. I've started a new relationship with a guy a month ago; this is my first romantic relationship with anyone. Over the past few weeks, my boyfriend and I have made time to see each other once a week. The problem is, we've been having so much trouble ...
A. 6 November 2007: What I would like to say is this may not be the best romantic relationship. What do you have in common. Why do you have to spend money to be together. When I was in love (real love not what most believe is love) I could just sit and talk for hours, ... (read in full...)
His ex cheated on him and now I wish he'd get over it!
Q. Hi. I work in the same place as this really cool guy. We've been spending quite some time together and I really really like him and for the first time I'm falling in love.I know he likes me too but there's a major problem I've had to deal with.He ...
A. 6 November 2007: Sorry your going through this. This has to be difficult for the both of you. What needs to happen is he has to forgive his ex. I did this before and it worked. But when he does so, it's not because she deserves it, it's because he deserves to live ... (read in full...)
The politics of teenage love triangles, and then some.
Q. Hey Guys , i use to use this site when i was going through hard times when i was in sixth grade and i figure the site will help me out now . I am now in eighth grade and fourteen years of age . I was going out with this guy . We'll call him R...
A. 6 November 2007: The reason your method didn't work:
(1) You're begging, you sound desperate.
(2) You can't guarantee you'll be the best, because you don't have anything to compare it too.
(3) The last sentence is a sign of abnormal attachment. If I disappoint ... (read in full...)
I want them to treat me like an adult and not like a child.
Q. I'm 20 years old, I still live with my parents and I just went threw a really hard time, I just lost my baby and I kinda don't want to spend a lot of time at home because I was really ready for him and had everything set up for him. Anyways, my mom ...
A. 6 November 2007: Life sure can be difficult. Sorry to hear about your loss.
Let's look at the role of a parent. #1, protect my child.
Here's what you should do. Don't say I'm 20, not 5. I think if you posted a picture of yourself and had everyone view it, it ... (read in full...)
I want my family to give me some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
Q. I don't feel as if my family really respects me. I'm the second youngest of four girls so you might say I've got a bit of the middle-child problem. I don't get any recognition as an older sibling from my youngest sister even. It's as if she sees me ...
A. 6 November 2007: Demand respect. You have that right. I'm not saying be mean about it. You can demand without coming off in a bad way. The problem we face is people don't want to offend others. Offending means starting a confrontation.
You need to assure your... (read in full...)
I don't want to break up, but see no other solution.
Q. Hi, I'm 23, and I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months. I love her, but I don't know if I respect her. I didn't find out until a week into our relationship - 2 years before she met me she had a 1 night stand with 1 of my friends. She said ...
A. 5 November 2007: So this happened 2 years before you met her, and under the influence of alcohol? I grew up in a small town. Do you know how hard it is to date in a small town where someone you know hasn't been there, done that with at least one person you date? ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't have time for me.
Q. I have been married to my husband for 11 years. He was previously married before with one child. I have taken care of this child since day 1, his mother is no longer a part of his life. We have since had 2 more children, so now I have a 15, 8 and ...
A. 5 November 2007: You are not being selfish at all. A marriage needs attention just like anything else we do. It's not an area that's OK to just ignore, and let what ever happens happen.
I too have had some very important jobs in the past. Full time and some with... (read in full...)
The politics of teenage love triangles, and then some.
Q. Hey Guys , i use to use this site when i was going through hard times when i was in sixth grade and i figure the site will help me out now . I am now in eighth grade and fourteen years of age . I was going out with this guy . We'll call him R...
A. 5 November 2007: Bridget:
Love is great, but there's also the side that hurts. Regret, guilt, painful experiences. Tell whoever says you can't be in love their full of crap. It falls on the same lines as women mature faster than men. They also develop real adu... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being a virgin, is it really this hard to lose it?
Q. hi! well I would just like to get advice on sex, am a 19 year old virgin and I just dont get how can it be this hard? Ive avoided doing it before cause I think its too complicated and maybe Ill feel sad afterwards or Ill regret it.. what do you ...
A. 5 November 2007: I think when it's your time, you'll know. Some people do regret, not as much the act, but not really caring much about who it's with.
Take care.... (read in full...)
My ex has demanded I give him the 300 £ he gave me when we were still together
Q. Hello I have just split up with my boyfriend of 3 months, during this time he gave me £300.00 to repair my car and told me that he did not want the money back after i offered to repay him when he gave me the money, i have just had a letter deliver...
A. 5 November 2007: I wouldn't pay him a dime for this retaliatory behavior. When you go to court they will ask questions such as: What were the re-payment terms of this loan? Was this loan written up and signed by both parties to prove the payment terms?
I want you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't comfort me when I am sad
Q. i have been with my boyfriend just under 3yrs,recently i was very upset crying uncontrolably yet my boyfriend just sat there and totaly ignored me,he said he loves me more than anything yet how can he sit and ignore me like that?if it was him ...
A. 5 November 2007: Some men have mixed feelings about crying. I do agree with the other posters, but some guys can't handle crying. It's hard to explain, but I'll try.
When you get in a fight with a boy, and start crying. The boy tries to hug you and comfort you and ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I ejaculate in my pants without any masterbation.
Q. Sometimes I ejaculate in my pants without any masterbation. How do i stop this?...
A. 5 November 2007: It's also known as a "wet dream". I had that issue when I was your age as well. I was mad because the word "dream" signifies sleeping. Not while I'm walking around in the day.
What I did, which I was in Military School, so I had no parents to ask,... (read in full...)
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