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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Help its my first time today!
Q. okay..today is the day i have sex with my boyfriend and i'm scared because i don't know what to do with him and he wants me to be on top and i don't know anything about sex and he does not want to be on top of me because he is going to be tried and ...
A. 28 July 2009: You say today is the day you have sex with your boyfriend...are we right in thinking this is your first time? If so I really hope you dont have sex with him, this sounds all so wrong!
If your boyfriend is too tired to go on top and wants to make ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friend the truth without hurting her feelings?
Q. So my best friend *Nikki is obsessed with being gothic and *Mike. That's all she ever talks about. When we are on the phone or hanging out, every time she will say, "Life is just a waiting room for death." or something about death. Everytim...
A. 28 July 2009: You cant really tell her that she isnt gothic - what right have you got to tell her what she is or is not? If she thinks she is a goth then that is her choice and as her friend you need to accept it. She is entitled to live her life the way she ... (read in full...)
I like a slut!
Q. Im a teen boy. I also like my cousin's friend. she is very beutiful and nice and all but theres only one problebm,shes a slut. at aproximently 3:35 a.m tuesday morning i cought her in the bedroom giving head to one of my male cousins head. i played ...
A. 28 July 2009: I think you just need to accept that maybe she isnt a slut, she just likes your cousin and not you. Just because she was giving your cousin a blowjob doesnt mean she's doing it with loads of other guys, it is more likely that she likes your cousin ... (read in full...)
Is he lying about watching porn?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a while now, and think that i have caught him for the second time watching porn. The first time, i caught him in the action, however, the second time, i looked at his computer history and found some recent ...
A. 28 July 2009: There is no way of telling if he lied - as you said it was his brother's computer so you will never really know if it was him or his brother! But I'm 99% certain that he will be watching porn behind your back - and the reason he HAS to lie about it ... (read in full...)
Is he lying about watching porn?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a while now, and think that i have caught him for the second time watching porn. The first time, i caught him in the action, however, the second time, i looked at his computer history and found some recent ...
A. 28 July 2009: I feel like saying here we go again....but I know that is not helpful so I will try my best to say something constructive.
If you have a read around all the porn questions on this site they are all very similar to yours - you will see lots of ... (read in full...)
What excercises can I do to tone my body?
Q. hi everyone, so i'm 5'3, weigh 120 pounds and i'm 15. personally, i think i need to tone up from my thighs, arms, and especially my stomach. my question is what excercises can i do to tone up your thighs, get rid of fat from under your arms, an...
A. 28 July 2009: Ok well I am reluctant to advise you on this because you are under 16, and medically you should not be doing any gym style workouts or weights because your body is still developing and your bones have not stopped growing yet, therefore some types of ... (read in full...)
I don't want to sound mean. She doesn't exersice and shes putting on weight
Q. ok. i dont want this to sound horrible but it probably will. Im very very into fitness and working out. i have a very good body and feel its really important to stay in shape not just for myself but for my partner. my girlfriend however, with...
A. 28 July 2009: I understand that you cant help who you fall for but in my opinion this is an excuse that too many people use these days when they realise they are going out with someone who is the complete opposite of themselves!
While opposites do attract,... (read in full...)
I don't want to sound mean. She doesn't exersice and shes putting on weight
Q. ok. i dont want this to sound horrible but it probably will. Im very very into fitness and working out. i have a very good body and feel its really important to stay in shape not just for myself but for my partner. my girlfriend however, with...
A. 27 July 2009: Well that does make me wonder why, when you clearly are so into working out, did you ever feel attracted to someone that doesnt share that same mentality? Working out twice a day is pretty extreme, and I'm sure you have been like this for a while so ... (read in full...)
Sibling sex
Q. Hi, i read a post about a brother and sister having sex, at first i thought it was wrong but a lot of the replys where people that have had sex with there siblings and enjoyed it, and didn't have any long turm negative effects from it. Now i can't ...
A. 27 July 2009: First of all, sex with a sibling is illegal and you can easily be prosecuted for this - many people have gone to jail over this. And if your brother is older than you, he will be prosecuted too for sex with a minor. Incest is a crime, and there is a ... (read in full...)
I lost feelings for him after he kissed someone else... help?!
Q. hiya, ok well i've just left high school this summer but about a month before i left i went to my best mates birthday party and met this really cute lad called *tom* whos in my year but i'd never talked to him before, anyway we got on really well ...
A. 27 July 2009: Well think about this, you said that he told you about the kiss and you said it was forgiven. Then you talk to your best friend who says you can do better, and all of a sudden he is not forgive anymore and you cant trust him! So its got nothing to ... (read in full...)
I would love to ask him out, but I'm worried about how my younger cousin will react to my taking an interest in him!
Q. My cousin has a friend. I get on very well with his friend. His friend is very good looking. My cousin's younger sister and I both have a crush on his friend. My older cousin, his friend, and me are all 14. My younger couin is 12. My cousins friend ...
A. 27 July 2009: I think you will be fine to ask him out, after all your cousin is only 12 and a bit young to be into boys! If you are really worried about hurting her feelings then just tell her that you really like him and want to ask him out, and that he has ... (read in full...)
My wife went into the gents with another guy but claims she cant remember what happened in there!
Q. When a girl drinks a lot and she kisses another man and he takes her in the gents loo for some more action, will she be able to stop going all the way and will she remember everything what happened in there? she remembers what they were talking ...
A. 27 July 2009: It seems to me that she got drunk and made a mistake. She has "cheated" on you but I dont think she is still "cheating" if that makes sense. I am guessing that she has told you that this happened, so it is unlikely she is having an affair otherwise ... (read in full...)
First dates at someones house? Yes or No?
Q. What would you people say about dates at someone's house when you're only getting to know that person? I met a guy online and our first date went well. He called me two days later and asked me if I wanted to come over to his place that night as he...
A. 27 July 2009: I think you are right to stick to your guns here; it does seem a little too soon for dinner and a movie at his. I think you should just be honest with him and explain to him that you do not feel comfortable yet going round to his house because you ... (read in full...)
I unconditional love worth waiting for?
Q. My love life is beyond complicated. My last serious relationship lasted roughly 2-3 yrs, the last year of which I lived with the guy. After a year of living together he asked me to move out. I can't explain how awful I felt, having to recoll...
A. 27 July 2009: I seem to be using this quote quite a lot at the moment but I am going to bring it out once again!
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out... (read in full...)
I don't want to sound mean. She doesn't exersice and shes putting on weight
Q. ok. i dont want this to sound horrible but it probably will. Im very very into fitness and working out. i have a very good body and feel its really important to stay in shape not just for myself but for my partner. my girlfriend however, with...
A. 27 July 2009: There is no way to speak to her about this without seriously hurting her feelings and making things very difficult between the two of you.
You are going to have to try and be subtle about it, how about at weekends taking her out for long walks or... (read in full...)
Does anyone know why my periods are so irregular?
Q. I've never had regular periods. They usually are regular for about 3 months and then they come on a couple of days later. However, this month it's slightly different. I'm two weeks late. I've taken two pregnancy tests and they both said negative. ...
A. 27 July 2009: Are you underweight? Often if your BMI goes too low then your body will stop your periods, so that is one possiblity. There are a huge number of reasons why you are not having regular periods, your doctor is the best person to talk to about this as ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my mum about anti-depressants?
Q. Recently i went overseas, i go to bed at normal times for where i live and i havent been able to sleep during the night. This results in me being late for school because of my sleep deprivation, i've taken blood tests and been to the doctor about my ...
A. 27 July 2009: Ok well this worries me a little - what were the results of your blood test? Why did you not see the doctor again? And as for the councillors, why did they talk to your mum and not you? That is illegal - it goes against doctor/patient ... (read in full...)
Relationship from hell: But I cant leave him!
Q. Here’s my problem: I probably have the relationship from hell, but I can’t break up with this guy, I love him too much. Problems: He takes money from me and says he’ll pay me back, never has. (over all, he’s taken at least £1000 from me.) ...
A. 24 July 2009: I'm sorry to say this but you have come onto this site, listing all the terrible things about your boyfriend and then claim you cant leave him! So what do you want us to say? That it is ok for him to hurt you physically? That it is ok for him to ... (read in full...)
Should I have anal with my boyfriend?
Q. ok i need help cuz my boyfriend wants to have anal but i dont know if i should. i want to know more stuff about anal before i do it. ive heard that it hurts alot and that their might be remains of poo on the condom when your done. then i also heard ...
A. 24 July 2009: Everything you have heard is true! It would hurt a lot without proper lubrication, and even with lubrication it still hurts because it is pretty small if you know what I mean, and things just were not designed to go up there! It definately hurts to ... (read in full...)
Question for men about mainstream porn
Q. there is something I have been wondering about mainstream porn and I would like to hear mens responses. I have noticed in porn that none of the women seem to have the usual bodies of most women. I never see scars, stretch marks or sagging breasts....
A. 24 July 2009: Uncle Phil hits the nail on the head - men dont want to look at women who have had children and aged in porn because they already have that at home. Just as us women wouldnt want to look at a topless bald man with a beer gut and a hairy back. So you ... (read in full...)
Do I start an affair with my student or keep it stricly professional?
Q. Hi aunty, I have been following your forums for a while..I am 25 yr old female-single teacher,I teach Computers for 12th grade boys school in USA..I often were tight dresses and mini skirts to school, i have a decent figure as I am fitness freak!!! ...
A. 24 July 2009: If you have an affair with ANY student you will lose your job and never be allowed to work with children again. Because that is what he is, a child. You will be branded a pervert and a paedophile by all in your neighbourhood and will be alienated by ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to be friends with a teacher after school?
Q. Hi Earlier I had a conversation with a friend. We were talking about teachers. I had this teacher who I really appreciated and respected. From her behaviour, she seemed to appreciate the student I was and was always trying to help me no mat...
A. 24 July 2009: Well this is just silly, the teacher in question is married with 2 kids and you just text each other now and then! So you are doing nothing wrong here, it is nice to have a teacher that looked out for you and for you to still be in touch!
Your ... (read in full...)
When is it ok to sleep with a guy?
Q. When is it ok to sleep with a guy? first date, second? a month......just when i like a guy i get so sexually frustrated i want sex with them as soon as.......
A. 24 July 2009: You will find everyone has entirely different opinions on this matter, and what I will say is that it is totally up to you when you decide to sleep with someone.
I think that it is a personal choice - if it feels right then go for it! But if you w... (read in full...)
Is there such thing as a perm to straighten wavy hair?
Q. Hi everyone I have wavy hair and want it to be straight without having to straighten it everyday. So I know that there is such thing as a perm to straighten hair but I dont know if it works on wavy hair. Does it? How long would it last? About ...
A. 24 July 2009: It is not called a perm, it is the opposite of a perm. A perm works to make hair curly, chemical straightening relaxes the hair so it becomes straight. So you need to make sure you ask for chemical straightening not a perm!
It involves some pre... (read in full...)
Ever since I've been feeling like having sex, I've started to break out!
Q. hi, i'm a 15 year old female and i just wanted to say that my boyfriend is 17, and whenever i am with him, i feel like having sex but i don't because i'm only 15, and ever since i've been feeling like having sex, i've started to break out. i wanted ...
A. 24 July 2009: What do you mean by 'break out'? As in break out in spots?
If that is what you mean then no that is not true, sex has nothing to do with your skin! Spots are related to your diet, water intake and hormones. You are only 15 so bad skin is to be ex... (read in full...)
He is a lot 'bigger' than anyone I've slept with before and it really hurts! What do we do?
Q. Hey guys. Here is my problem. I am in a wonderful relationship with a great guy. We have been together a few months and we are both madly in love with each other. We have decided to move our relationship on and sleep together. We have both had ...
A. 24 July 2009: There isnt a lot you can do I'm afraid! I guess you just need to be very turned on the next time you try, and maybe even use lubrication. Aside from that, it is just something you will get used to!
I had one boyfriend that was much bigger than the... (read in full...)
Complicated situaton with a female co-worker!
Q. Bear with me as this is long. . . I recently broke up with my girlfriend and have been on the mend for some time now. At my work we were short staffed and my boss's daughter came in to fill in. She is gorgeous and I love talking with her, we can...
A. 24 July 2009: You text her to apologise and you should leave it at that, you dont want to bombard her with messages and make her think that you are pestering her!
Will you see her at work again soon? I think that you should just leave it for now, wait until sh... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my mum about anti-depressants?
Q. Recently i went overseas, i go to bed at normal times for where i live and i havent been able to sleep during the night. This results in me being late for school because of my sleep deprivation, i've taken blood tests and been to the doctor about my ...
A. 24 July 2009: There are a few things I dont understand here:
1. The overseas part - have you just moved to a different country? Or have you been on holiday?
2. What did the doctor say about your sleep deprivation and depression?
3. Have you been officially ... (read in full...)
Aunts and uncles: Do you feel defeated? Your answers seem to reflect this!
Q. A lot of advice I see given here counsels the person to just cut their losses when the going gets even a little rough. Its sad and pathetic. Is everyone on this site defeated in one way or another? It seems that way from some of the topics, and ...
A. 24 July 2009: I am going to respond to this because the more I read of your follow-ups, the more frustrated I seem to be getting! I agree with Tisha here, there must be a good reason or trigger here to prompt this article. Because all the people that have... (read in full...)
My boyfriends unromantic proposal is disappointing
Q. my boyfriend asked me to marry him 4 months ago. He did not have any kind of romantic little speech or poem. He didn't even say how much he loved me- just plain old "will you marry me". He has not brought up getting married ever since. What can I ...
A. 23 July 2009: Some girls go through their life just desperate for someone to even ask them to marry them, so in many people's eyes you are very lucky to have a man that actually wants to marry you!
I guess as women we all have ideas of how we want the proposal... (read in full...)
Petition: lower the age of having a Cervical cancer smear test
Q. Hey everyone. I hope nobody think's that i am being forceful or pushing everyone into something here, but it's the only place that i could think of that would reach a wide audience of people. As you all know in the UK there has been a lot of ta...
A. 23 July 2009: England is one of the only places in the world to have the smear test at 25, the majority of developed countries all start testing at 18. As the ages of people having sex gets lower and lower (just look at all the young teens on this site asking ... (read in full...)
Aunts and uncles: Do you feel defeated? Your answers seem to reflect this!
Q. A lot of advice I see given here counsels the person to just cut their losses when the going gets even a little rough. Its sad and pathetic. Is everyone on this site defeated in one way or another? It seems that way from some of the topics, and ...
A. 23 July 2009: To quote you directly:
"I chose to face my pain head on, and am better for it. If I were the type, I would counsel others to do the same, but the fact is that it takes more strength than most people have to do it how I have, so what would be the p... (read in full...)
Having Doubts on our relationship (Warning: LONG)
Q. So my bf and I having been dating for two years now and I don't know if I should call it quits or not. In the beginning it was great, we had a lot in common, could be on the the phone for hours at a time and clicked very easily. I could share an...
A. 23 July 2009: You have not given a single reason why you should stay with him, just end it now!
Loving someone is not enough to make a relationship work, and you clearly love him more than he loves you if he is willing to say such awful things to you! As soon ... (read in full...)
Is 5 months too soon to propose to her?
Q. hi every1, would u say 5 months is too early to propose? my girl moved over here from scotland last year, we met through work and got it together end of feb. i know for sure she's the one. i'm going to scotland with her in 2 weeks to meet her family ...
A. 23 July 2009: Well in my opinion yes 5 months is too soon, you dont really have any idea about each other just yet and you are still in that "honeymoon" period where everything seems wonderful. I have found in my past relationships is that you dont really know a ... (read in full...)
Do you think my sexual history is bad?
Q. Just looking for opinions if you think my sexual history is bad. im 19 nearly 20. before my bf i have had sex with 4 guys, all of whom i was in a relationship with or had strong feelings for. In about 4 years i have hooked up (made out) with about ...
A. 22 July 2009: Well aged 20 and only having had sex with 4 guys, I think that is actually on the low side! I know at your age I had slept with a lot more than that!
The making out with people in clubs thing is a bit weird, why do you count that?! God I have los... (read in full...)
Why do guys stop making an effort after being in a relationship for a while?
Q. Can someone tell me why over time guys stop giving you compliments and other things like that? I've been with my boyfriend for over 9 months and I know he loves me but he's stop giving me compliments and never does x's on his texts when I tex...
A. 22 July 2009: Complacency is part of it like GrimmReality says, but I also believe that there is a difference between loving someone and being "in love" with them. the "In Love" part comes at the start of the relationship, where it is all romance and infatuation. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he gets bored of kissing me for too long!
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now, but recently he told me that he 'gets bored' of kissing me for too long? We rarely snog anymore and when we kiss its maybe only for a couple of seconds, maybe less. also he's been reluctant to hav...
A. 22 July 2009: I dont want to sound harsh so please dont take this the wrong way but you are over-reacting about this. In reality, kissing for long periods of time is boring, and can make your jaw ache!
All relationships come to a point like this, have you ever... (read in full...)
I pay for everything myself, why doesn't my husband ever treat me?
Q. I hope you can help. I really need to know if I am being practical. My husband and I have been married for 7 years. When we were dating, I saw a successful, hard-working man. I did not marry him for money, I make my own. But I admired his work ...
A. 22 July 2009: I think Cheysula gives some good advice there! I suggest that maybe you let him know how you feel about money in terms of your own paypacket, tell him that you are living from one pay cheque to the next and you are finding it difficult. I'm sure he ... (read in full...)
My parents want me to have a baby so they can look after it!
Q. im a 17 year old girl living in the UK! recently, my parents have been a little immature and stupid i think to be honest. my parents have been trying for another baby since i was 2, but were told for personal reasons she will find it very difficult ...
A. 22 July 2009: I think the best thing to do is to try and talk to your mum. Sit her down, just the two of you and explain that you do not want a baby at the present time and that her constant jokes and pressure is starting to get to you. She needs to understand ... (read in full...)
How do I trust someone who doesn't trust themselves
Q. I've been having a rocky time with my partner lately about trust issues and that. We have been together for about 2 months now and we both feel attached to each other. There is major trust issues between us. I've made mistakes whilst I wa...
A. 21 July 2009: All this game playing seems very childish, if you both are serious about each other then this would not be happening! It seems like she is trying to make you jealous and wants a reaction out of you, which is something a very immature girl would do. ... (read in full...)
New hot date! Face is a mess! What should I do?
Q. Ok i have a date this saturday with a guy i met off the internet...he seems great, good looking etc....but i have bad acne...lumps on my cheeks etc and my confidence is on the floor....even with makeup the lumps can be seen...im not sure if i should ...
A. 21 July 2009: Well there is not a lot you can do in time for Saturday I'm afraid, it is up to you whether you feel confident enough to go ahead with the date or whether you want to re-arrange it for another time.
However what I can help you with is the acne and... (read in full...)
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