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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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How can I feel more positive and stop feeling so down?
Q. I'm think I'm really depressed. I've been thinking about life, about how the good guys die. MLK-shot, JFK-shot, John Lennon-shot, Reagen-wounded. I think about how there's no god. I'm the funny guy in school, everyone thinks I'm happy. Reminds me of ...
A. 4 August 2009: I'll explain it to you - the gunman had a very good aim! Stop getting worked up about the past and think about your own future - we all die one day and at least John Lennon did something with his life! At this rate you will spend the rest of your ... (read in full...)
Did he really like me or just want sex?
Q. Hi everyone, I have just started hanging out with a guy and there is real chemistry between us. The other night tho he was teasing me that one of our friends said I liked him and I got defensive. He basically made me feel like a stalker coz he doesn...
A. 4 August 2009: There is no way of telling to be honest! Its unlikely he will have said all those nice things if he is only after sex but then again some guys are good at putting on an act in order to get a girl into bed!
I suppose you should just act normal a... (read in full...)
He said I was acting like a girlfriend but I wasn't trying to!
Q. Ok ppl...Im having a little boy trouble.. I'm at a point in my life where i want to have a boyfriend and be "in love"..Thats not exactly working out as i planned.. I was beginning to talk with this one guy..and we had a lot in common..our birthdays ...
A. 4 August 2009: Maybe it just comes across like that because you are so desperate to get a boyfriend! The thing about relationships is you cannot make them happen, it is normally something that will take you by surprise when you least expect it. Constantly hunting ... (read in full...)
We're dating, but he doesn't demonstrate much affection! Does he really like me?
Q. i've been seeing a man for 2 months, he's attractive, never married, no kids, but doesnt express how he feels about me. i'm not expecting love or anything as he's 43 and i'm 42 and taking things slow, as we are both getting over ex's. but he doesnt ...
A. 4 August 2009: It sounds like this guy has probably been hurt in the past and finds it hard to open up to women. A lot of men out there are like this - they may really like a woman but are completely unable to express their feelings for her!
You mention that you... (read in full...)
Can two opposit people have a relationship that works?
Q. Can two opposites in a relationship really work? Me and my bf are so different. Hes 25, im 20. He likes to go out partying, drinking all the time(every night of the week, he doesnt have one alcohol free day a week), where as i rarely drink at ...
A. 4 August 2009: In my experience opposites dont work. They do at first, because you love all the new things that person brings into your life. But later down the line, you realise that you both have totally different views on life and relationships, and neither of ... (read in full...)
How can I feel more positive and stop feeling so down?
Q. I'm think I'm really depressed. I've been thinking about life, about how the good guys die. MLK-shot, JFK-shot, John Lennon-shot, Reagen-wounded. I think about how there's no god. I'm the funny guy in school, everyone thinks I'm happy. Reminds me of ...
A. 4 August 2009: Here's something that should make you happy - you are young, alive and free to do whatever you choose in life. You have a family and friends who love you. You have a roof over your head, food and water. That is a lot more than millions of people ... (read in full...)
Should I date my best friend's ex?
Q. The boy i fancy, harvey, fancies me the only problem is he went out with my best mate a couple of months ago and broke her heart i dont wanna fall out but i really like him!! what should i do ????...
A. 3 August 2009: Friends over guys! End of story! You wont just fall out here, she will probably never speak to you again! No man is worth losing your best friend over, think of everything you have been together, is is worth throwing that away for a crush?
Do th... (read in full...)
I would like to trust my online guy but my gut feelings about this guy are not good!
Q. Hello there to everyone who has kindly been giving me advice regarding this Sydney internet guy. I have decided not to go to Sydney to see a guy who has clearly told me that he just wants sex even though at one point he said that how did I know tha...
A. 3 August 2009: "and that he wanted my A..." I'm guessing that sentence continues with some dirty talk about your backside?! He is just going to use you for sex if you go there, no matter where you stay! It your decision - are you happy flying to the other side of ... (read in full...)
I started my next pack of birth control pills right after the last one so I wouldn't get my period...but I got it anyway. Why?
Q. I recently had sex with my boyfriend, and i started my period while we were doing it, im on the pill and i knew we were going to be having sex so i started to take another packet straight after i finished the last one so i wouldnt get a period. so ...
A. 3 August 2009: It happens, sometimes with the pill you get light spotting (light bleeding that only lasts a day or two). Its nothing to worry about!
Your body has a natural rhythm and being on the pill adds even further stability to your menstrual cycle. Y... (read in full...)
Am I being dramatic or am I right?
Q. me and my fiance have been together for a year and a half and lived together for a year,in the past week we have pretty much split up because i went to my parents house for a few drinks he was invited but decided he didnt want to come,just as i was ...
A. 3 August 2009: Why is it such a problem he came home late? Why does he have to be home for a certain time? I totally agree with quiet echo, he is a grown man and he doesnt need a curfew, so if he wants to stay out with his mates then who cares!
If he was goin... (read in full...)
Update: What do you think now?
Q. Hi just some updates on whats been going on please tell me if you think things are going well thankyou. 2 nights ago i went over to her house about ten then left at 4 in the morning. txt her to tell her i got home safe and made a joke about havin...
A. 3 August 2009: My guess is that she is reluctant to get involved with another work colleague because of what happened last time, which is understandable. Hence her text about just being friends.
She clearly likes you because she hasnt told you to back off, but... (read in full...)
I'm scared about having sex in case I do it wrong and he compares me to his ex!
Q. Ive always been a 'good girl' so to say when it comes to relationships. But now I have got an amazing boyfriend who I love so much. The only problem is that ive never done anything sexual before with a guy, as it has never felt right until now. ...
A. 3 August 2009: Well the good thing is that you have chosen to wait until you feel ready - so no matter what happens your first time will be special and that is very important.
With regards to the pain and blood etc, it is very different for everyone. There is... (read in full...)
I feel inferior compared to my girlfriend!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 months and they've been wonderful, but I can't help but feel a little bit inferior. She is an amazing gymnast. She competes in meets all over America and I know she's gonna go on to be big. I just dont' see what ...
A. 3 August 2009: There will be loads she sees in you - it isnt just about what you do in life! She will like you for your personality, for the way you make her feel, for the way you treat her etc. Just because you are not rich, or an amazing sportsman etc doesnt ... (read in full...)
Why did he go cold, after we were having such a good time?
Q. hi there.i was dating online, and got talking to someone who i was interested in. we hit it off straight away and had so much fun talking every night, and speaking on the phone. he wanted to meet so he could spoil me. told me all the time how ...
A. 3 August 2009: Just a guess but maybe he met someone else on whatever dating site you are using? You always have to keep in mind with online dating that while you might be talking to a guy and having a great time, the chances are he is doing it with a number of ... (read in full...)
First time parent worries about miscarriage
Q. Heyy! Myself and my partner are expecting a baby in April, just bit concerned about mis-carriages etc. Is it rare to have a mis-carriage? It's the first time that she is pregnant and everybody is excited about the news but I'm just worried ab...
A. 3 August 2009: It is nervous to be worried about your girlfriend and your baby seen as it is your first, but you just need to relax and take each week as it comes.
Miscarriages are fairly common unfortunately, especially in the first 3 months of a pregnanc... (read in full...)
Why is it ok for guys to pleasure themselves but women are considered dirty?
Q. I was wondering why it is so publicly excepted for guys to pleasure themselves and nobody will think anything of it except that they're just being a guy, but when a girl does she is considered dirty, or a slut. What is the difference between ...
A. 3 August 2009: I've never heard of a girl being considered dirty for masturbating, where did you hear that one?!
Masturbation is totally normal for both sexes, everyone does it and that is widely accepted.
I wonder if what you are referring to here is the d... (read in full...)
He didn't go 'all the way in' and we used a condom, but could I still be pregnant?
Q. my boyfriend and i almost had sex, meaning he didn't "go all the way in" but it was there, he had a condom on, but i heard sometimes you can get pregnant cause of that? i didn't believe in that, but I've missed my period, I've missed it before, but ...
A. 3 August 2009: Unless the condom came off or broke in any way then the chances of you being pregnant are almost non-existent! The only way you could get pregnant would be if he ejaculated whilst inside you and some of that escaped either through the condom coming ... (read in full...)
Take a second date or take a break?
Q. Im mid thirties and six weeks ago ended a 3 month relationhip with someone I had totally fallen for as he wasn't really available (he is going through a divorce and his wife wants him back/children). I want to meet someone and thought Id just get ...
A. 2 August 2009: I understand that you really want children and to settle down into a serious relationship but you cant just settle for someone on the basis that they are really into you!
Children and marriage will mean so much more with a guy that you truly lo... (read in full...)
I want to enjoy lovemaking with him but my body gets in the way...
Q. It started with me gaining a couple of stone in weight, really. With that, my confidence hit the floor and for a while I didn't do anything about my weight. Then - about a month and a half ago, I started a diet and fitness regime ... lower calori...
A. 1 August 2009: Well it sounds like you are doing all the right things so I'm sure you will start seeing results soon! Try and keep the calorie intake closer to 1500, when you are exercising it isnt a good idea to have any less than 1300-1500 a day otherwise you ... (read in full...)
I want to enjoy lovemaking with him but my body gets in the way...
Q. It started with me gaining a couple of stone in weight, really. With that, my confidence hit the floor and for a while I didn't do anything about my weight. Then - about a month and a half ago, I started a diet and fitness regime ... lower calori...
A. 1 August 2009: Ok well I dont think you are depressed -this is just a confidence crisis! A very important question is though - why did you put on weight? If you could answer that then I will be able to help you further! I was in a similar situation to you... (read in full...)
We'd like to have a baby, but we're not sure if we're doing this right. Can anyone help?
Q. I am virgin till now, and me and my boyfriend decided to have a baby, but both of us dont know how it can be possible. he is not able to ejaculate in me, and all of his sperm just went out. he tries to do so but..........is there symptom that shows ...
A. 1 August 2009: The hymen could have broken during childhood or if you have ever used tampons. Breaking your hymen can happen naturally without sex, things like horse riding and gymnastics can break the hymen without you even knowing! If your boyfriend has put his ... (read in full...)
We'd like to have a baby, but we're not sure if we're doing this right. Can anyone help?
Q. I am virgin till now, and me and my boyfriend decided to have a baby, but both of us dont know how it can be possible. he is not able to ejaculate in me, and all of his sperm just went out. he tries to do so but..........is there symptom that shows ...
A. 1 August 2009: Ok well I'm not totally sure what you were saying there in your question but I'll give you the basics of sex and pregnancy.
1. If a penis has been inside your vagina then no, you are not a virgin. It doesnt matter if he ejaculated or not, or ... (read in full...)
Keep smoking? Or quit?
Q. Hey....... I am 23, I have started taking oral contraceptive pills. Got scared and stopped smoking after reading the booklet. I havent smoked from the day 1 of the pill beginning. Please advise if I can stil continue smoking or should quit.... ...
A. 1 August 2009: Well as pinktopaz says, smoking whilst on the pill puts your health at risk so it is best to avoid it. But you must know how bad smoking is for you anyway right?
It significantly increases your chance of cancer (including lung cancer, cancer o... (read in full...)
Do you think I'm OK?
Q. hey im 5'4" and im a size 00, is this a bad thing? also my bra size is only 34A. im pretty confident with my nody because im quite thin and habe a six pack. is this bad though?...
A. 1 August 2009: You are still very young so try not to worry, your body wont have finished developing yet so I'm sure that over the next few years your boobs will get a little bigger and your body will fill out a little more. Your body sounds like it is still that ... (read in full...)
I've been avoiding sex because I'm afraid of being compared to her other 30 partner!
Q. I have a girlfriend and we have been official for just over a month now. I've known her for 3 years prior to getting involved with her. She is a lovely person, and I'm so glad we are together, but she recently confided in me that she has slept with ...
A. 1 August 2009: If she told you 30 then the chances are thats the truth - if women are going to lie about it then they will always go for a number under 20! Sounds less scary to guys that way! So I really dont think she has slept with 60 guys, that would take some ... (read in full...)
My First Time
Q. So your first times suppose to be special, right?. You dream about finding that one lad who will sweep you off your feet and make all your dreams come true? WRONG. I was 15, gulliable and young.So innocent.The only time i'd ever mentioned sex wa...
A. 31 July 2009: Wow I am sorry that was your first time, I cant imagine how much that must hurt now when you look back. But I thought I would add in my story just to prove that sex under 16 (while I know its illegal but thats another issue!) is not always awful and ... (read in full...)
How long will it take for me to start enjoying sex?
Q. I had 1st time sex with my boyfriend last weekend and we plan to have sex again after a night out this weekend. I knew to expect a bit of pain and discharge 1st time so we used a towel to keep any mess off the bed (my boyfriend also wore a c...
A. 31 July 2009: It is very different for everyone, some people can enjoy sex right away and some take a good few times before they enjoy it. I would say that you need to enjoy a bit of foreplay before you have sex to make sure that you are properly lubricated (that ... (read in full...)
Should I shave my arms?
Q. Hey there so i suffer from PCOS which increases my wrong levels of hormone anyways, my prob is that I have hairy arms and the whole rest of my bod. I shave my stomach and yadi yada but I don't know if to shave my arms. My problem is that where i ...
A. 31 July 2009: I think its a really bad idea to shave your arms, it will only grow back worse and then you will end up having to shave them forever. I know it seems tough right now but I promise you, in a few years your hormones will settle down and the hair wont ... (read in full...)
Any advice on why she is acting crazy?
Q. What is worse - being cheated on by the man who said he wants to marry you, or having him accidentally break your nose during an argument? I want to be with my girlfriend more than anything in the world but she just doesn't understand me so...
A. 30 July 2009: Ok well I'm not surprised she only hears the horrible things, calling the woman you are supposedly going to spend the rest of your life with a whore?! I cannot even think of a response that, it is just disgusting! And to say you would cheat on her ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex add me on Facebook when he has just got married?
Q. my ex fiance who i split with badly 6 years ago contacted me on facebook the other night requesting friendship. i thought this weird as ive only just got on there-we have no mutual friends so therefore confused to get this email. anyway ou...
A. 30 July 2009: Sounds like he was being a complete jerk and wanting to rub your face in his new life! He must have wanted you to see that he was married and happy now with his new life, it sounds like you had a lucky escape from that idiot! I bet he has tried to ... (read in full...)
Any advice on why she is acting crazy?
Q. What is worse - being cheated on by the man who said he wants to marry you, or having him accidentally break your nose during an argument? I want to be with my girlfriend more than anything in the world but she just doesn't understand me so...
A. 30 July 2009: I can tell you now your not going to be very popular on this site! Be prepared for some pretty harsh answers!
First of all you hitting in her in the face was not an accident - you threw your phone in her direction therefore you always knew you... (read in full...)
My mother in law insists we have a baby when we are not ready!
Q. Dear all, Im married for a year and half. We love each other a lot. My father inlaw and mother inlaw have come to visit us and they are here for a month. During this time my mother inlaw is insisting me to give birth to a baby and she give a kind of ...
A. 30 July 2009: Well you cant "give birth" to a baby right away, you first have to try and get pregnant and then wait 9 months until it is ready to be born!
I think you are right in wanting to wait a while for a baby, and your mother in law cannot force you to g... (read in full...)
Am I at a healthy weight?
Q. Hello :D I was wondering if I was a healthy weight. I am a 13 year old girl, 5ft 9 and I weigh about 128 lbs. I play some sport, not very often though, and I eat healthily although all my friends say I am really skinny (I have very skinny legs app...
A. 29 July 2009: Well your BMI (body mass index) works out at just over 19, and the healthy range for BMI is 18.5 - 25. So you are on the low end of the scale however you are still a healthy weight. If you lose any more than 5lbs you will be considered underweight ... (read in full...)
I like him alot, but I find it hard to trust men. Please Help
Q. ok, so if your reading this your amazing, and if you reply your a saint. I am lily and i am 16 years old. now i've known this guy named... bob for almost 4 years now.and we were kinda distant friends the whole time. but about a few months ago i ...
A. 29 July 2009: Ok well the issue here lies with whatever horrible person told you not to trust anyone! That is no way to live your life, I cant believe anyone would try and warp a child's mind like that! I am guessing (please correct me if I am wrong) that your ... (read in full...)
Did my husband REALLY mean what he said???
Q. Ok now im confused. My husband and I had a fight last night and he pretty much told me the only reason he's staying with me is because it's cheaper to keep me than divorce and pay child support on 3 kids. Then later he tries to apologize and says ...
A. 29 July 2009: I dont think he will of meant what he said, it was more likely to be a heat of the moment thing where he just said it to hurt you. Everyone says stupid things in the middle of an argument, and afterwards you always wonder how you could of said ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle my wife!
Q. my wife abuses me pysicologically and every so often phisically, she has had a bad up bringing eg rape, abandonment,irrashional behaviour and thoughts. she has an iq of 138 and uses this against me, she has an alcohol problem also, we have very big ...
A. 29 July 2009: Basically unless your wife seeks professional help then there is not a lot you can do here. She needs to tackle her alcohol addiction first, and she will need to see a doctor to do this. Then she needs anger management, to deal with her abusive ... (read in full...)
Should I go to Sydney to visit my online lover or forget about him completely?
Q. I really need some advice regarding a long distance male I have had contact with for the last 6 months. He lives in Sydney. I live in Perth. To cut a long story short when I found him on Oasis I was quite vulnerable and hadn't been long out of ...
A. 29 July 2009: That has to be one of the longest posts I have ever read, that must be like your whole life story!
And the overwhelming thing that I got from it all is that he has told you on plenty of occasions that this is just about sex and he doesnt want a r... (read in full...)
Do I just let him go and forget him, or do I keep trying to make this work?
Q. Hi I don't know if I should break up with my boyfriend or try and make it work? I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend nearly 4 years (he is 25.) We are mostly happy but have broken up a few times, and have had periods of intense arguing and ...
A. 29 July 2009: I'm sorry to say this but there is no point to this relationship, he is walking all over you and I cant understand how you have lasted so long with someone who shows you so little respect!
If he wants to go around sleeping with whoever he likes an... (read in full...)
Is it unrealistic for a husband to get turned on by his wife after having kids?
Q. Am I wrong to refuse sex to my husband when he uses porn to get aroused. Im simply hate the thought of him getting all excited by the bodies of other women (he likes penthouse glamour type images of women) and then using me as some type of ...
A. 29 July 2009: I think it is fine for your husband to enjoy porn and masturbate to it of thats what he likes, that is pretty normal. But for him to watch porn in order to get turned on before having sex with you is wrong, that sounds like he is borderline becoming ... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for my ex but I don't want to ruin things with his fiancee!
Q. im really confused at the moment. i have just got in contact with my ex and we have started talking. he has told me that he is engaged and is going to be a dad soon but that he still loves me. i still have the same feelings for him but i don't want ...
A. 29 July 2009: You need to leave this guy well alone, whatever feelings you might have they are nowhere near the feelings your ex will have for his wife-to-be and his child. He is starting a family, entering a new phase of his life. There is no point in you two ... (read in full...)
Help its my first time today!
Q. okay..today is the day i have sex with my boyfriend and i'm scared because i don't know what to do with him and he wants me to be on top and i don't know anything about sex and he does not want to be on top of me because he is going to be tried and ...
A. 28 July 2009: You say today is the day you have sex with your boyfriend...are we right in thinking this is your first time? If so I really hope you dont have sex with him, this sounds all so wrong!
If your boyfriend is too tired to go on top and wants to make ... (read in full...)
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