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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 20 April 2011: It sounds to me then like there are a whole heap of issues here, and porn is the least of your problems. If it really is the case that he is not willing to work on the marriage, you feel you have done all you can and he is making no effort - well ... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 20 April 2011: Ok, to answer your questions one by one:
1. Do men ever stop watching porn once they have started? Very unlikely, in most cases they will continue to use porn.
2. Are there many men who chose not to watch it, whether in a relationship or not? No ... (read in full...)
I can't tell if he's just being friendly or he's into me. What do you think?
Q. Hey guys, I apologise for the length of this post, I did post it previously but to no avail. On my third day of working with my new "boss" (he's my boss, not the boss) I asked him a question after one of my colleagues. For her he didn't get out o...
A. 20 April 2011: Well the reason why he wont tell you about his weekends etc is because he has a girlfriend and doesnt want to talk about her with you. All his weekend activities will be with her - you are just some young cute thing to look at while he is working. ... (read in full...)
What should I take my girlfriend to do to surprise her?
Q. I know this question isn't important compared to some issues people have on here, but what should I surprise my girlfriend with? She is gone right now on a week long trip and I really want to surprise her with something when she returns, preferably ...
A. 19 April 2011: How about you cook a meal for her? To make so much effort and cook for her would definitely be a nice surprise. Or how about bowling? That is fun, and indoors but at least you get out of the house? Or tickets to a music gig/concert for her favourite ... (read in full...)
My friend is talking to me alot while his girlfriend is gone!
Q. Hey, so I'm new to dearcupid but you seem very helpful, so I've decided to ask my question. Basically I have a friend who is a boy and he has a girlfriend. His girlfriend has gone on holiday and he misses her loads, he is talking to me loads via ...
A. 19 April 2011: Well unless he does anything inappropriate then there is no reason not to go out, you are friends and it is ok for you to spend time with him!
He has not told you he likes you, he has not made a move on you.....nothing has actually happened... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and I want to ask about the contraceptive pill. I have no idea what to say to the Doctor. Can anybody advise me?
Q. I'm 16 and I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to get myself on the contraceptive pill. Thing is I'm going alone. My cousin had agreed to come with me, but is not now going to come with me. I'm really nervous. What exactly will the Doctor want to k...
A. 19 April 2011: You really dont need to worry, it is very straightforward.
The doctor wont examine you, all he/she will do is take your blood pressure. This is just a routine check, as you need to have 'normal' blood pressure in order to be able to take the pill... (read in full...)
There's no love anymore, how do I break up with him?
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend. We have been in a long distance relationship for about a year and a half now. He doesn't let me hang out with my friends, I'm only allowed to see them like once every 2 weeks if that. And he constantly makes me ...
A. 18 April 2011: I know it is scary but the threat 'I will kill myself' is incredibly common and in 99.9% of cases the person never does kill themselves, they are just saying that to emotionally blackmail their partner.
If you really feel he could do somethin... (read in full...)
I am in love with my sisters friend who is 6 years my senior
Q. please I need your help. Last year i met a girl who is my sister's friend and i became very fond of her. I love her so much and i want to be my girlfriend forever. But there are some major setbacks i am having The first one is i am older than...
A. 18 April 2011: Sorry but if you are 13-15, and this girl is 6 years younger that makes her 7-9 years old? That is VERY wrong! Dont even think about it, she is still a small child!
I cant believe there would be other boys chasing a girl of this age, and if they ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my boyfriend to move with my family?
Q. My parents are on about moving to Devon and wanting me to come with them, as my mum has said she wont move unless I go with her, however I recently got back with my ex boyfriend I know we haven't been out for long but it feels like forever and at ...
A. 15 April 2011: Well my initial reaction is no - it is not a good idea at all.
1. Have you actually asked your family if he can live with you? That is a lot to ask of them, and very unfair to them - he is not their child, why should they feed him, pay for the ... (read in full...)
Are my reasons for getting a purity ring OK?
Q. MY question is this.. i AM not religious that much , well i beleive in god ,heaven and stuff but like i dont go to church or pray or anything like that now i want to wear a purity ring beacause im 13 nearly 14 and i am shocked that there are some ...
A. 15 April 2011: It is so refreshing to hear a sensible teenager on here for once, so well done you for having such good morals and values! Your reasons are wonderful, so if you feel you need a ring to remind you of this then fair enough.
But as Gabriell... (read in full...)
What is your opinion of someone who has quite a few piercings on their body?
Q. I currently have my first and seconds (lobe piercings), and my helix done (upper ear cartilage piercing) and in my left ear first piercing (lobe), i have a 3mm fleshy (stretcher) And i want: -My thirds -My tongue -My nose -My belly ...
A. 15 April 2011: I dont really have much of an opinion on it really - I think with tattoos and piercings, well if that is how that person wants to express themselves then fair enough. I'm in no position to judge!
I do often think that if a person has LOTS of pierc... (read in full...)
Does anyone think online dating can work?
Q. I joined an internet dating site. Some people said it’s worth a go, a lot of people warned me off, and told me there are a lot of users and losers out there. I met a guy, he was nice (although he seemed to have dated a lot of women via internet...
A. 14 April 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-genuine-relationships-develop-from-internet-dating-or.html
You got a lot of answers last time, did we miss something?! ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to talk to these people I've met online? One is an ex...
Q. In the past few years I have been talking to many people online, first in a multiplayer games site for many years (pogo.com) and more recently, a few months ago, on a teen site. I have had two online girlfriends (long distance and purely online as...
A. 14 April 2011: Well there is nothing wrong with chatting to friends online (through MSN, Facebook etc), that is incredibly common for millions of people worldwide.
Talking to ex's though is a different matter, especially when she cheated on you - if you keep... (read in full...)
Do genuine relationships develop from internet dating or is it just a game?
Q. I joined an internet dating site. Some people said it’s worth a go, a lot of people warned me off, and told me there are a lot of users and losers out there. I met a guy, he was nice (although he seemed to have dated a lot of women via internet...
A. 13 April 2011: It sounds like your relationship was a genuine one, and it only ended through difficulties with the distance, rather than anything to do with meeting through the internet! Even if you had met him in a more conventional manner, the distance and ... (read in full...)
Crushing on my games teacher
Q. hello. im 14/15 years of age and have a huge crush on a gsmes teacher at my school. its bin going on for a couple of months now and its tearing me apart as i feel like i love him i smile whenever he walks past run over to say hello try to make ...
A. 13 April 2011: I suggest you quit the football team and try and keep away from him as much as possible. You have a crush, and it is very normal to have a crush on a games teacher as these are the men that are normally young and fit. So dont worry - you are ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to talk to these people I've met online? One is an ex...
Q. In the past few years I have been talking to many people online, first in a multiplayer games site for many years (pogo.com) and more recently, a few months ago, on a teen site. I have had two online girlfriends (long distance and purely online as...
A. 13 April 2011: Definitely stop talking to them all, it sounds like the internet has meant that you have had problems in developing relationships and emotional connections - and this will be directly related to not meeting people in real life.
Get outside ... (read in full...)
What are the good things about being single?
Q. I realised yesterday that I've mentioned to one of my friends three times in the past few months that I miss being in a relationship. I was a bit shocked at myself because I don't want to turn into one of those people who feel as if they need to be ...
A. 13 April 2011: - Having all your money to spend on what you want
- Being able to watch the TV you want!
- Being free, to come and go as you please, do what you want when you want without answering to anyone
- Not having to text someone, call someone, all... (read in full...)
What else can I say, that is genuine, but not harsh, to say no to his unwanted attention?
Q. Last week i met a guy. my friends gave my number to him, because he asked for it. But i don't want him to think i'm interested, because he keeps flirting and i'm not doing it back, hoping he will get the idea. I don't want to say the same thing mo...
A. 13 April 2011: I think you should just send him a text saying something like this 'I'm really sorry, I had no idea that my friends would give out my number without asking me first, but I'm just not looking to date anyone at the moment. Sorry again and all the ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and BF doesn't want the baby right now. What do I do?
Q. I am only 21 and at Uni Bf still has a year or so to go till he finishes. I have just found out im pregnant and wasnt sure whether to keep it but decided to. I thought It wouldnt be easy but possible. Bf has told me he doesnt want kids... not yet ...
A. 13 April 2011: Well at least you know what he wants now, he was a bit silly to do it over text but I guess he is really struggling with all of this and found it too hard to talk to you face to face.
As much as it is good that you have told him you are still no... (read in full...)
I don't think I can get the grades for 6th form, but everyone keeps telling me I have to!
Q. I am currently doing my GCSEs and im in Year 10 at high school. My mum is head of media studies at the local Grammar school that is nationaly recognised as outstanding. Shes keeps telling me that the only reason that we still live in this town and ...
A. 13 April 2011: Everyone when they are studying feels like they want to give up at some point, at times it seems hopeless and like you will never do well so you might as well just stop.
Listen to this - I went to uni aged 18 (I am now 23) and one of my friends ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and BF doesn't want the baby right now. What do I do?
Q. I am only 21 and at Uni Bf still has a year or so to go till he finishes. I have just found out im pregnant and wasnt sure whether to keep it but decided to. I thought It wouldnt be easy but possible. Bf has told me he doesnt want kids... not yet ...
A. 13 April 2011: Well done for trying to talk to him. I think what you need to do is get him on his own, when he is not in the middle of anything (so he cant use his book etc as an excuse) - when he is doing absolutely nothing that is the best time to talk to him. ... (read in full...)
What is college life in America like?
Q. hi everyone my question is aimed at people who have been to what they call college in America. is the experience like what the films and t.v programs make it out to be like drinking and sex as well as the education side of it. I was thinking ...
A. 12 April 2011: Life is nothing like what you see on TV or in films, so I think you should lose that idea pretty quickly!
As cerberus said, it is pretty similar to going to University in the UK (University is what the American's call college. What we call col... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for a child, but I don't want to regret my decision.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles I need some advice. I am 20 years old and just found out I'm pregnant and would really appreciate advice hopefully from people who have had or know of similiar experinces. I have a job that pays very well I make over $1100...
A. 12 April 2011: All I can tell you is that it is a personal choice, and only you can decide how you feel about it. Now you talk about earning money in dollars but your account says you are from the UK, so here is a link to a UK based organisation that may help you ... (read in full...)
Unfamiliar with her culture, does she like me or is she just being friendly?
Q. Hi everyone. I want some help. I have immigrated to USA about 2 months ago. I live here with my mom, my bother and his wife. I'll call my brother's wife ABC. Me and ABC are like brother and sister and we are very good friends. Now here is what is ...
A. 12 April 2011: Well it sounds like you are currently friends but it could easily turn into something more. If you are talking daily, going out together and she is happy to spend time with you then she definitely likes you.
I suggest that when you are out toge... (read in full...)
I don't think I can get the grades for 6th form, but everyone keeps telling me I have to!
Q. I am currently doing my GCSEs and im in Year 10 at high school. My mum is head of media studies at the local Grammar school that is nationaly recognised as outstanding. Shes keeps telling me that the only reason that we still live in this town and ...
A. 12 April 2011: I understand how you feel, I remember very well how hard it was at school and sixth form so I feel your pain. But I also kinda understand where your mum is coming from too - so dont be quite so hard on her.
Being interested in music is great, i... (read in full...)
I just broke up with my boyfriend, now I regret it; do you think I could get a 3rd chance?
Q. iv currently just finished my boyfriend,we've been together 3 months,he treated me like i was nothing and wanted to date 3 other girls while he was with me,i don't know what to do,this would be my 3rd time with him again and i don't think it really ...
A. 12 April 2011: If you have split up 3 times in 3 months - THIS IS NOT WORKING!!! The first few months of the relationship should be the happiest and the easiest, if you are already off and on again so frequently then this is simply not meant to be.
He sounds l... (read in full...)
Pregnant and BF doesn't want the baby right now. What do I do?
Q. I am only 21 and at Uni Bf still has a year or so to go till he finishes. I have just found out im pregnant and wasnt sure whether to keep it but decided to. I thought It wouldnt be easy but possible. Bf has told me he doesnt want kids... not yet ...
A. 12 April 2011: This is the age old dilemma - girl wants the baby, boy doesnt - but because it is the girl's body she gets to decide and change his future, whether he wants it or not. I am not going to bring in this pro-life, pro-abortion nonsense - that ... (read in full...)
Mother's rights to unborn baby in Massachusetts?
Q. im 16 and im 12 weeks pregnant. the father and i are no longer together. do i have to give the baby his last name? just because it is his baby doesnt mean hes goiing to be there and support it, id rather do it on my own. if he were to take me to ...
A. 12 April 2011: Ok, you are not married and have never been married to this guy so the baby can have your last name. Dont worry about that.
In terms of him taking you to court - why would he do this? Have you been fighting about access to the child already?... (read in full...)
I know now that childcare is not what I want to do. Need help with career choice.
Q. Hey, a quick question, how do you know what you want to do in life if you have no ambitions and no idea on a career path? I had to quit college because i became pregnant, yes it was planned but it happened sooner then planned. The college cou...
A. 11 April 2011: Teaching fitness classes may not be a bad idea - you can train through college for a sports/personal trainer type qualification which will mean you are able to get a job at a gym or local sports centre etc. You would then be able to teach dance ... (read in full...)
I am not sure what kind of a relationship we have. GF wanted to take it slow. What is going on here?
Q. Hi, First time asking here. Having some relationship problems. I've been "dating" my gf for just over 2 months, long time acquaintances. She got out of a bad relationship in December, and we started dating in late January. This were so great at...
A. 11 April 2011: It is quite simple - she has rushed into another relationship straight after a break-up and wants to be single for a while, so she is putting you on the back burner for when she gets lonely and bored of single life.
If you really like someone,... (read in full...)
I told her I had rights, but she said they went out the window when I dumped her 10 months ago!
Q. okay story is right i was with a girl 6 years right but i wasn't into her anymore so like i broke up with her and then she told me she was pregant but like i was seening a new bird at the time. so i told her to forget it if she thinks i was going to ...
A. 11 April 2011: Quite simply - seek legal advice.
Have a read of this - http://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/Articles/Unmarried-Couples/Unmarried-fathers-paternity-rights.aspx
This article says that you dont actually have any rights unless you are named on the bir... (read in full...)
How do I disappear with my little one so he can't find us?
Q. hi everyone i need some help and some of you might think i'm a cow. but here it goes i have a 3 week old baby that the dad only saw 3 times since her birth. to me i think he is a dick he can't see her beacuse its messing with his new relationship...
A. 11 April 2011: Look - the best thing for your daughter is to have her dad in her life. It is not up to you to decide if he is a good enough father or not - fact is that children need 2 parents, their mum and their dad. And here you have a dad, who might not be the ... (read in full...)
I had sex with him and now I am worried about a few things. Need advice.
Q. Hi! So i was a complete idiot. I am 17 and where i work this new lad started who was 21. Instantly we clicked, and i really liked him. Of course i barely knew him. But he spoke to me online and we met up and the 4th day i kissed him and i was so h...
A. 8 April 2011: Ok - first things first, if you didnt use a condom YES you could be pregnant and you could have caught an STD. So go to your doctor and get tested.
In terms of him giving you a kidney infection - very unlikely, I'm not a doctor so dont know 100... (read in full...)
He seen me in my bikini, got a boner and now he's angry at me!
Q. Ok so the other week I went on holiday to the seaside and another family who are really close. So on the last day I wanted to go swimming but the only other person who wanted to was a boy my age from the other family. So after I got changed into my ...
A. 8 April 2011: He's not angry - just embarassed! He obviously got an erection because you looked good in your bikini, teenage boys can get erections very easily and often when it is inappropriate because of all their hormones raging around. So when it happened he ... (read in full...)
I'm fifteen and I really want a baby!
Q. I am fifteen and I want a baby so bad!! I know I'm insane because I'm still a kid myself but I just want to have something that's truly mine. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now and we both love each other and want to be together ...
A. 7 April 2011: Just talk to him face to face, and explain that you really love him but you dont feel ready for sex yet, and you are hoping that he will understand and wont push you on the issue. Tell him that you will let him know when you do feel ready, but for ... (read in full...)
How to not be too needy or clingy and push a guy away?
Q. ok this question is for guys, there is a guy who is interested in me and wants to spend time with me. i want to be with him and spend time with him too. i'm just wondering, what do guys consider to be too needy or too clingy, that might push a guy ...
A. 6 April 2011: Well I am not a man but the majority of my friends are male so I think I have a reasonable idea of what men want from a girl!
Ok, here are my thoughts:
1. Phone calls & texts - too many = clingy. So the question is, how many is too many? Well, ... (read in full...)
Seducing my aunt?
Q. Alright, excuse the misleading title. She's not my aunt by blood, so we are only related through marriage. She always acts so kind toward me and I get extra long hugs at family gatherings a couple times a year. She seemingly favors me over my other ...
A. 6 April 2011: Look there are a million reasons why this will never happen, I know you dont want to hear it and your mind is made up but you must realise that you dont have a chance with her surely? You think she would have sex with a 13-15 year old boy based on... (read in full...)
I have not PHYSICALLY cheated....
Q. I recently had a long relationship (2yrs) with a woman, who is still technically married, and only recently seperated. I have duriing this relationship met her 3 times, I live in the UK and she in Texas. I know inside she is all I have ever wanted. ...
A. 6 April 2011: This whole thing sounds like a big mess if I'm honest - it started off as an affair with a married woman, it is VERY much long distance, you dont entirely trust that she will stay with you (probably based on the fact that this started off as an ... (read in full...)
What are the duties of a mistress?
Q. Hey there! So heres the thing, my boyfriend wants me to be mistress, I've never done that. We're both new to this idea but he is ready for anything. Please help me by suggesting what I should do as a mistress? I would appreciate it! Btw, he said he ...
A. 6 April 2011: Well the general definition of a mistress is a woman who is having an affair with a married man or a man in a relationship. So unless your boyfriend is suggesting you go and cheat on him with a married man then I am not sure what he is asking you... (read in full...)
Why has my fiance just joined a dating site????
Q. Hi all, I have been dating a wonderful girl for just over a year now. we don't live together but see each other most weekends. she is always excited to see me and tells me she misses me when I am not there. we have a healthy emailing relatio...
A. 6 April 2011: Well it is definitely wrong for her to have joined such a site when she is in a relationship - but we cannot tell you the reason why on this website, you are going to have to talk to her about it I'm afraid.
Just tell her that it came up when you... (read in full...)
Online dating..he led me on and then just disappeared
Q. Please help solve this puzzle: 1. Girls notices guy on dating website 2. Girl approaches guy 3. Guy responds positively and begins to chat 4. Guy disappears without responding for 2 weeks then gets back in touch full of apologies. 5. Gi...
A. 6 April 2011: This is simply the way that online dating works I'm afraid - it can be cruel, harsh and painful! I used an online dating site for a few months around 2 years ago, one guy that I met was so unbeliveably into me while talking via email/text and after ... (read in full...)
Who answers the questions on this site?
Q. Hi Andew Not really sure how I got here virtually!!! Must be on a cloud? who is it that actually answers these questions people have? other users or do you have a staff of lisc. social workers, Ph.d's ect...who purse this site and chime in when th...
A. 6 April 2011: We are just a bunch of normal people happy to give advice to those who need it. We have no professional qualfications (well most of us anyway!) but we are experienced in life and just enjoy helping people out in whatever small way we can.
NEVER... (read in full...)
I'm fifteen and I really want a baby!
Q. I am fifteen and I want a baby so bad!! I know I'm insane because I'm still a kid myself but I just want to have something that's truly mine. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now and we both love each other and want to be together ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well let me start by saying that how you feel is totally normal, we have hundreds of teenage girls that come on this site feeling the same way. It is mainly because of your hormones - once you have started your periods and you are fully into puberty ... (read in full...)
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