| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
|
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
Q. On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
A. 12 June 2022: Just a test post to see how broken the site is.... (read in full...)
Going to meet his family but I'm not allowed to kiss him!
Q. Ok, I have been dating this guy for 6 months. He asked me to meet his family who live 5 hours away. I said yes. We are going to spend a week with them at the end of the month. Yesterday he told me that we wouldnt be able to sleep in the same room ...
A. 14 May 2009: No dancing either. I can't help but wonder if he is really fooling his parents. I certainly thought something was going on when my daughter moved in with her boyfriend.
Living a lie, misrepresenting the facts for a long period of time is not h... (read in full...)
Best place to lose your virginity?
Q. I'm ready, and I'm gonna lose it. The question is where? Ideas anyone? The beach? The woods? Not some sleazy hotel room or my bed. This is the first time you'll always remember. I want to make it memorable in so many different ways, and...
A. 12 May 2009: Memorable, she wants. Interestingly I still have the blanket I lost it on over 20 years ago. But, she said no bed, no hotel. If we throw out the unsanitary beaches and woods, the risky back seats, and the exciting but dangerous , roller coasters, ... (read in full...)
Why do girls make things so complicated?
Q. ok so there i was sittin in the library revising. opposite me was a girl who was also doing some work. i asked her "i kno ur busy but would u like to grab a bite quickly?" she said no but is goin for a smoke later and i could come with if i do ...
A. 10 May 2009: When we are young and unsure we often tend to over think things. I think that O P has just brilliantly demonstrated one of my favorite prejudices. I often claim that guys don't play mind games, because we don't have enough to play with. Army wife ... (read in full...)
Trying to break up with him but he threatens he'll do something drastic! What should I do?
Q. I am 18 very young and I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He started living with me at my dad's house before we were even together because he had no where to go and I cared for him. So our relationship started off really fast at first I ...
A. 10 May 2009: This is called emotional blackmail. It is a shifty sort of abuse. He is using these threats to control you. As soon as he finds that he can't control you, he will lose interest in you.
Now, having said that, suicide threats should never be... (read in full...)
One man, 2 girl best friends...
Q. Right I have a girlfriend called Abbie but there's a big problem. Her best friend Sophie I think likes me because she is showing signs that she likes me. Also Sophie is the girlfriend of one of my best friends! I tried a classic trick the good ...
A. 7 May 2009: This is defiantly a classic problem, there are songs written about it. Probably the best thing to do is to move out of town and change your name. just kidding It really is a mine field and changing between two girls who know each other is a good ... (read in full...)
My husband told me to find satisfaction elsewhere, so now I have!
Q. I've been married to my husband since 1991 and for the past couple of years it's been completely sexless. No matter how hard I try I just can't get him interested. I've asked him to go to the doctor's, take some time off work, anything! He says that ...
A. 6 May 2009: On the other hand as a 40+ male, if my wife was not filling my sexual needs, and I had a tryst with a 20ish female coworker, I would get crucified.... (read in full...)
My parents and my best friend all hate my gf! What should I do?
Q. My parents and my best friend and some of my church hates my girlfriend. Her and I have been through alot and we dont wanna stop. You cant change how someone feels about someone else in their heart. I wont give up and I wont stop! I will do ...
A. 5 May 2009: Looks like yo have already discarrded the advice of those closest to you. You are proving your determination by sacrificing your property and freedoms. What can we possibly say that will help you?
There are two things you should think about. ... (read in full...)
Do you have any suggestions on men's colognes that don't smell too strong?
Q. Hey. My problem is not too pressing, but nevertheless it is important to me. My clothes often smell bad when they come out of the dryer. And even if they didn't, I would still want to smell good, so do you have any suggestions on men's colognes that ...
A. 30 April 2009: I'm wondering if there might be some laundry help needed as well. Personally I don't wear any scent. Even my deodorant is unscented. A little lavender of jasmine is OK on occasion. The real key to colognes is to take it lightly, you seem to have ... (read in full...)
Which boy do I choose?
Q. I am 14 years old and I like a boy that is a year younger than me. I go to an all girls school and he goes to an all boys school. I am not really that popular and I am afraid that people will make fun of me if I went out with him. There is also ...
A. 28 April 2009: I'm going to try this bit of advice one more time. At 14 it is OK to have more than one friend, You are nearly a decade away from marriage. Now is the time to get to know as many different kinds of people as possible. Go out with both of them and ... (read in full...)
What do you think of my now separated husband? Am I right not to take him back?
Q. I'm in this situation and i'm not sure how to handle in. Here goes, my husband and i recently seperated after being married for 10 yrs.he continues to blame me for everything that lead to the seperation.I believe that i'm a good women i did ...
A. 28 April 2009: I'm going to take another direction with this. So often when we get questions here We get only one side of the story. In every relationship and in every divorce there are two people. Two sides of the story. He didn't go looking for an affair ... (read in full...)
Please help me save my marriage and show my wife I love her!
Q. I need some advice...I have been married for 9 years and have 2 kids. I love my family, but recently my wife and I have not been communicating well and I admit that I have not done what it takes on an emotional and loving (I am not talking about ...
A. 27 April 2009: Some of you may not be old enough to remember Ellen Kreidman. She wrote a series of self help books for relationships starting with "light her fire". I would highly recommend it in this case. First it has specific assignments at the end of each ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I don't want to get pregnant at 15?
Q. I am 15 and my boyfriend wants me 2 get pregnet and I'm not ready what do i do???...
A. 27 April 2009: Nice answer Em,
I think you pretty much covered all the bases. I was wondering how old the boy in question is. Not that it matters. Any man who wants to be a father must be able to keep a roof over his family's heads and food in their tumm... (read in full...)
He quit drinking, and now he doesn't talk to me.
Q. I am a 24 year old that has a live in boyfriend that is 33 years old and about 102 days ago quit drinking. He was an alcoholic since he was 19. He doesn't want sex and when I talk to him about our sex life and our relationship and how all this makes ...
A. 27 April 2009: Whoa,
Taking on alcoholism is a major undertaking. It requires a Whole new lifestyle, including new ways of dealing with all of his relationships. There may be links between alcohol and his sexual response. Are you involved with AA's organiza... (read in full...)
Help on leaving my useless husband and starting from scratch.
Q. okay, so my question is should i stay with my husband or not? i ask because he is younger than me and is very selfish and oblivious to alot that goes on around him especially my feelings. when we got married we got pregnant and i paid for the abor...
A. 27 April 2009: Hopeless,
Fortunately I am acquainted with SLC. Look up CAPSA. They will be able to get you more resources. If you need more direction e mail me.
FA... (read in full...)
How often is there help on here?
Q. How often is there help on here?...
A. 27 April 2009: HM,
In general good questions will get at lest one answer within an hour. The aunts and uncles who answer are compleatly voluntary. They answer the questions that interest them, whenever they happen to be online. Personally I haven't answered a ... (read in full...)
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
Q. On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
A. 20 April 2009: I just realized that I am doing the same thing not writing back to thank those who posted. Also thanks to all who have sent me private mail. I have been pretty busy since I posted this. with private mail, which I haven't done so much before. The ... (read in full...)
Sex! Where can we go and not get caught?
Q. I want to have (protected)sex with my bf tomorrow. But we can't go to my or his house. Any suggestions to where we should go and not get caught? And if we do get caught by the police and since I am 18 and he is 19 will we get in troubl...
A. 18 April 2009: Ok since you are so adult and are ready for this. Take some of the money you have been saving from your jobs by living at your parents homes and rent a hotel room.
FA... (read in full...)
Will a special encounter with a female help me?
Q. I am 22 years old. I am most confused. I don't have a reason to wake out of bed. I still haven't had any real special encounters. I have no experience in the dating game whatsoever. I hate to use the dreaded "V" word if you know what i mean. I ha...
A. 14 April 2009: Of course you haven't had a "special encounter", You need to do this in the right order. First friendship then courtship then "special encounters". Don't make the mistake of taking "any old encounter" as a replacement for a "special encounter". ... (read in full...)
My b/f said "I want to sleep around because I feel like I'm missing out"
Q. My boyfriend is 19 an I am 17. We have been together a year and a half now and we are still going strong... so I thought. As I am 17 I can't always get in clubs. I understand my boyfriend wanting to go out with his friends in clubs. He wnet o...
A. 14 April 2009: OK so he is being a stupid "young" kid and putting his foot in his mouth. But there is some truth in what he is saying. It appears to an outsider that he is not mature enough to be in the relationship that you two are in. While I don't condone ... (read in full...)
Help me with better sex for my husband!!
Q. hey,could you help me please!i wanna ask a question but i don't know how to do it,can u help me plz!!! The question is i'm 22yrs and i'm married for 4 yrs,and also have a child its a boy! my question is i just can't give my husband the best "ride" ...
A. 14 April 2009: oh, OK its a technical question. Unfortunately I'm not qualified to answer this. I have read that the muscles in your vagina can be trained by concentrating on them. I know from experience that when you do this it feels great for the guy. ... (read in full...)
Help me with better sex for my husband!!
Q. hey,could you help me please!i wanna ask a question but i don't know how to do it,can u help me plz!!! The question is i'm 22yrs and i'm married for 4 yrs,and also have a child its a boy! my question is i just can't give my husband the best "ride" ...
A. 13 April 2009: A good generic answer to your question is that sex happens between your ears not between your legs. Great sex comes from great imagination. Don't be afraid to experement. Communicate ask questions and listen. Was that good / fun? What else ... (read in full...)
Should I write him a note?
Q. Hey there! So there's this boy, he's only a year older than me (or so..) and I met him in my art class at the beginning of the semester. He now sits at my table with my two good friends and we have a lot of fun as a group. I like him, a lot, but...
A. 11 April 2009: Right now you have an age appropriate relationship withhim and it is great. You have a friendship. Letting him know that you have romantic feelings for him will forever change that relationship. This should be carefully thought out and not ... (read in full...)
She has a really pretty face but she's fat!
Q. I kind of like this girl in school. The thing is she's the nicest girl I've met and she's got a stunningly pretty face but she is a bit on the big side. She is pretty but fat. I feel I shouldn't go out with her beausde I'm one of the best foot...
A. 9 April 2009: You said, "I don't like any of them, I like this other girl. Asking her out will make me look really stupid"
When you are a teenager and popularity seems to be the end all of existence you can feel this way. I know at your age I did. I also mad... (read in full...)
He refuses counseling. What shall I do?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I am 28 years old and I've been married to the ove of my life for almost 2 years with a 1 year old son. We've known each other for almost 11 years and he's mostly been a good person. But for the last six months we've been ha...
A. 9 April 2009: Just off the cuff I suspect there is another problem. I suspect he doesn't like living with your parents. This is normal for a man. One he is depressed because he feels like he is not providing you a home. and, two, every time you two get into a ... (read in full...)
I'm being blamed for a rumor starting!
Q. my friend hacked into my freinds account and saw that she was bi becasue she asked questions like i think im bi .....ect well anyways she told me and a few other people that she was bi and the rumor spread and everyone is blaming me saying i started ...
A. 8 April 2009: There is an old fashioned term for gossiping that seems appropriate here, trifling with your neighbors name. Your friend had her innermost thoughts stolen, and used for idle amusement, that hurts. Now the same group of girls is passing around the ... (read in full...)
BF's lies to parents about our relationship. Should I expose everything?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We were engaged 11 years ago, but broke up only to get back together 8 years later. I found out he lied to his parents about our breakup to make him out to be the good guy and me the bad. He has ...
A. 8 April 2009: Shelly Amber writes: "He says he loves me and wants thing to stay this way for now." Interpret this to say "I'm using you and I want this to stay this way forever"
And to him it looks like this is working out pretty well, He has managed to strin... (read in full...)
I feel really sad about my 25 year long marriage
Q. I feel really sad about my 25 year long marriage. I feel ,my husband has no love for me,but he says he does. I want to know what is your opinion,on this. This are the things ,I feel ,that he does not love me. -he is not affectionate -he has no ...
A. 8 April 2009: Yes, yes this is common. He is happy and comfortable in your relationship. What he hasn't realized is that you are starving. It's not only men who do this some women have tha very same problem. There is probably not something very very wrong ... (read in full...)
Help, he is hurting me!
Q. I actually have a secret that I've never told anyone who knows me and last night I nearly broke. Or maybe I am broken. I went to the gym with my boyfriend of just over one year and he has had his share of insecurities...and of telling me that ...
A. 2 April 2009: You have a lot of good advice already. But I want to point out the painful facts.
You are in an abusive relationship.
You have been assaulted.
These are criminal acts on his part.
You live in America and are over 21.
The reason that you h... (read in full...)
I feel like he is using me
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and I'm starting to feel used monetarily. I want to talk to him about it, but I'm unsure of how to start the conversation. My question is how do you start a conversation that addresses this issue. ...
A. 2 April 2009: First you lock the pantry, then you cut the purse strings, Then ask for the key. He will come to the bargaining table.
We really don't have enough information for a better answer to this problem. There is a general problem among young men in A... (read in full...)
My husband won't shower - tried everything! How can I get him to do so?
Q. My husband is a car mechanic, so as you can imagine he comes home covered in grease, dirt and not smelling all that great every night! Now I understand he works really hard and he is tired when he gets in, and I do empathise with him. But I get so ...
A. 31 March 2009: After reading through this twice I agree that you have done every thing. I have a couple of ideas, they may not work but they should be entertaining. You two seem to be very much creatures of habit. He usually comes home at the same time each ... (read in full...)
My husband is having an erectile problem. Help!
Q. In the past 3 times that my husband and I have had sex, his penis starts off hard but than it goes down- he tries to get it hard, and sometimes it does but once he goes inside of me, it goes down again. We never had this problem before, we wher...
A. 30 March 2009: Overall the first thing to know is that Erectile Dysfunction can happen to any man. It can be caused by emotional problems. It can be caused by health problems. It can be caused by stress. There is no reason not to believe your husband when he ... (read in full...)
Told his friends we were moving too fast and now he won't talk to me
Q. i dont know wat to do i feel like this is my only solution..theres this guy i went on a date wit we're really diffrent he comes from a veryy rich family and i come from a middle class.his used to the glamm new cars,big houe,a maide kinda thing and ...
A. 27 March 2009: CONTINUED ANSWER
Go to his house set him down and tell him you are sorry and that you cant sleep for thinking about him. This is very heady stuff for a guy and should snap him out of his funk. On the other hand it opens you up for a possible ... (read in full...)
Told his friends we were moving too fast and now he won't talk to me
Q. i dont know wat to do i feel like this is my only solution..theres this guy i went on a date wit we're really diffrent he comes from a veryy rich family and i come from a middle class.his used to the glamm new cars,big houe,a maide kinda thing and ...
A. 27 March 2009: I'm a bit tossed up about what to advise here. On one hand you two had a mutual crush. All thee signs of serious infatuation. You came to your senses first and decided to cool it down a bit, because you want a real long term relationship. Good ... (read in full...)
He won't go out with me because I'm "flat chested" Grrrrr
Q. Well basically, I am 14 and I am not fully 'developed' yet. Like I haven't started my period and my boobs are basically like mosquito bites. This is because my mum developed really late. She didn't start her period til she was 16 but the annoying ...
A. 25 March 2009: Taste of India Writes "Guys will eventually mature and start looking for quality, not just a body to mess around with. They'll start thinking with their brains and not their... you know whats."
What is the difference between Guys and Governme... (read in full...)
What should I say to her and can she legally try to keep my baby????
Q. I'm 17 and 7 months pregnant, my bf is 18 and both of our parents were shocked yet understanding when they heard the news. My mom and step dad have offered to help us in any wya they can. But last night I over heard my mom talking to a friend of ...
A. 18 March 2009: Many people my age are excited and anxious to be Grandparents. I think it is likely that this is what your mother was expressing. She may be making plans ahead of you a bit. Perhaps she is thinking she will be able to care for the baby 6 hours a ... (read in full...)
Please just pray for his safe return to me
Q. I need you prayers, PLEASE! Two months ago I lived a simi-normal life. I had a family, a home and a job. I have been on here before about my husbands abuse, but I finaly got the nearve to leave him. This required me to quit my job and I sent my c...
A. 18 March 2009: I was wondering how the trip was going. Sorry to hear the bad news. I know you just want closure on this whole thing but don't give in too easily. You have rights too. I hope that everything has worked out with the dog.
best wishes,
FA... (read in full...)
I need opinions here... Is it true...?
Q. Is it true that egg whites are safe to use as lube for sex and can they help you to get pregnant?...
A. 17 March 2009: ok raw egg whites, salmonella. nuff said.
On the other hand I can make a nice desert with them.
FA... (read in full...)
He's shorter than me!
Q. We like each other very much he worries all the time that i dnt like him cause hes shorter than me... M 5"10 hes 5"8. By him worrying he makes me self conscious about my height. Any idea guys please... And also girls too... Help me...
A. 17 March 2009: Just to add another anecdote to Peanut Butter's My grandparents have been married over 60 years. My grandmother is quite a bit taller than granddad. I won't say they never had a hiccup in their marriage, After all I Wasp's around for quite a bit ... (read in full...)
Why can't men understand how women feel about porn?
Q. Why cant men understand how many women feel about porn? Especially after we marry and have babies.Like it or not guys, we mothers often give up a lot when we marry and have kids, Its pretty heartbreaking when we lose our pre baby bodies and end up ...
A. 10 March 2009: O K, I'm Going to get my 2 cents in. I'm anti porn. First would you feel any better about it if he was looking at pictures of everyday girls, even older girls? It's all out there.
In my opinion Guys use porn because it is easy. Loving a... (read in full...)
Suggestions preferably by males, on ex's behaviour, please help!!!
Q. Please give your advice. Me and my boyfriend broke up over a year ago. We kept in contact a bit and I text him, until I decided to tell him that I wanted to be with him and still had feelings for him. He told me to move on, so I did. Have not had ...
A. 9 March 2009: To me, and I am a generation older than you, This is not, at first glance, typical Guy behavior. Usually When a guy makes a final statement, like "move on", he means it. It could also mean he has another relationship now. Asking to be friends or ... (read in full...)
I'm looking for a gift to buy my boyfriend to show him I really care about him. Any ideas?
Q. I'm looking for something (a gift) for my boyfriend to show him that I really care about him. We've been dating for a very long time and we're quite committed. I was thinking about getting him a ring.. I don't think it would freak him out but I'm ...
A. 9 March 2009: Jewelery for guys is a real minefield. I reciently started treating my diabetes with insulin, so I wanted to wear a mmedical ID. I decided on the dog tags because I work with machinery and don't want chains near my hands. Also i think they are ... (read in full...)
| *atherly Advice's friends
These are mutual friends, so *atherly Advice has
added them and they have added *atherly Advice!
|
