| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 26 May 2010: Congratulations Lexi,
Good weight for a first child. Love and best wishes for you and the baby!
FA... (read in full...)
How can I give my fiance an amazing handjob?
Q. How can I give my fiance an amazing handjob? he currently likes it when I take charge and sit on top of him and use two hands on his penis, constantly moving them up his penis, then switching hands, kinda like juggling, this makes him cum pretty ...
A. 12 April 2010: The anonymous answer is right but incomplete. First of you are already doing the right things. Timing is the next step. You don't necessarily want to "stop", slowing way down is more effective. you have to be very aware of where hi is in his ... (read in full...)
Should people continue to work on the relationship because of a "mistake"???
Q. Hi everyone, I just need an opinion on whether or not to continue a relationship with someone who cheated on you. Express your thoughts and everything... should people continue to work on the relationship because of a "mistake" (and he was COMP...
A. 12 April 2010: I like the opportunity to express my "thoughts and everything", thanks.
There are two facts (statistics) you should take into consideration. Cheaters cheat, a person who has cheated is more likely to cheat again. A person who has cheated ... (read in full...)
Embarrassed about what I weigh...
Q. Hi all last week i took two home pregnancy tests because my period was 2 weeks late , i took one in the afternoon which came up postive really quickly, then i took another one the next morning just to be sure and that also came up positive right aw...
A. 12 April 2010: You are worried about your weight, He is worried about the future of your relationship. I would say that the fact that he is willing to support you through all of this is a very good indicator of his worth to you. I'd invite him along. Just let ... (read in full...)
Should I just isolate myself from women forever?
Q. I unfortunately lost my virginity at the age of 30 to a prostitute, and I have gone through a lot of mixed emotions since. Does this mean I am abnormal? I feel disgusted with myself. Can someone say something to put my mind at ease? I am still 30 ...
A. 12 April 2010: People make mistakes. The feelings you are having are you telling yourself that you made one. For whatever reason you decided that a prostitute was the way to start your sex life. Now you feel bad about that. Probably what you did was an action ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to be dominant in bed?
Q. My guy tends to be sexually submissive. How do i get him to come out of his shell and man handle me? I've tried telling him enough that won't hurt his ego, but I don't know what more there is for me to do or say. Help! How can I get him to be ...
A. 4 April 2010: No one just knows these things. Experience is no guarantee even, because of the wide range of desires and preferences. You think of it as training, but what it really is is communicating. Role playing is communicating as well. The reason you ... (read in full...)
How do I stop liking this total jerk?!?
Q. There is a guy i have an /enormous/ crush on. he smokes weed, he drinks, he's in a gang, but he never stops smiling, and he's totally cute. I cannot understand why i can't stop liking him He's abusive. Not like kicking and punching, just lik...
A. 31 March 2010: I'm not sure what to tell you about how to stop liking him, but I can tell you why you are attracted to him. Perhaps that will help.
He is reckless, living on the edge, breaking the rules. To girls your age, and often older, that appears ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband want any children??
Q. my husband and i have been together for 13 yrs now. we have 2 children although only one is biologically his. we have currently come across a problem. when i bring up the subject of another child, he says he doesnt want anymore. he knows that this ...
A. 31 March 2010: The reason for me is straight up selfishness. Lets say you had the first child before you met him so your oldest is 14. The next child came in the first three years say 10 years old. So he is thinking in ten years I'm free again, no PTA, Band ... (read in full...)
Why are my sisters being so hostile towards my boyfriend?
Q. My sister, I guess you could say, has been kind of hostile towards my boyfriend. She says "he's fat" or "he's ugly." She also claims that he's too old for me (I don't think a three year age difference is much; I'm 18, he's 21). She's also con...
A. 30 March 2010: Jealousy, yes but in a weird way, the 15 year old wants attention from him, but she doesn't want him. Both of them are jealous of your time. They don't want him, they want the time you used to spend with them. and if you asked them they wouldn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex, I don't...but he keeps threatening me
Q. um my boyfriend keeps talking about sex and that he wants to um "do it" soon but im not ready and i dont want to do it with him but he keeps threatening me and has rased his hand to me. i dont know what else to do!...
A. 29 March 2010: Tell him it is over. You only hang out with guys who respect you. You are right, you are not ready, and neither is he.
Now about the violence. Threatening is also violence. He has shown you that he can't be trusted. You need to start ta... (read in full...)
Why are my sisters being so hostile towards my boyfriend?
Q. My sister, I guess you could say, has been kind of hostile towards my boyfriend. She says "he's fat" or "he's ugly." She also claims that he's too old for me (I don't think a three year age difference is much; I'm 18, he's 21). She's also con...
A. 29 March 2010: I remember feeling this way when My older sister started dating. I recall thinking that she was making the wrong choices. Some of it I am sure was because I was not at the same level she was and couldn't see why she would want to be that close ... (read in full...)
I have a 4yo and am pregnant, how do I improve my life for my children and me?
Q. Im 21 years old I have a 4 year old baby girl and im 16 weeks preg... I want to be sombody in life. But I don't know were to start. I fished high school but don't know how if my reading math ext is really bad. I want togo to school but I don't know ...
A. 27 March 2010: Tech school, is designed for people like you. You need to get with an academic counselor and see what programs you would be interested in. They can also help you get financial aid to pay for the classes.
It is good to see you wanting to impro... (read in full...)
An email from my abuser has brought back the memories, can I still have him charged?
Q. I was sexually abused twice when I was six and once when I was nine by the same attacker. He took all my clothes off and licked all over my body. He put his penis in my face and rubbed it on my clitoris. He rubbed my clitoris and did many other se...
A. 27 March 2010: The answer to your question is that in the U.S. there is no statute of limitations on child abuse. So you can still press charges. As you mentioned it may not make much difference. His e-mail is proof that you would need. I do think that asking ... (read in full...)
Can you masturbate on your period or have sex without an erection?
Q. i was wondering how can women masterbate on their period? also does a man have to get hard before having sex to be able to have sex? ...
A. 27 March 2010: Ticklish wording on your question. In order to have penetrative sex with a woman a man needs an erection. I wonder about burdening your mind with information that doesn't apply to you at your age. Many older men suffer from erectile dysfunction. ... (read in full...)
I feel my friend is trying to take advantage of my offer
Q. I don't know who to ask or what to do. I am a married mother of one gorgeous 5 month old and I have a best friend named Katie that I've known for 10+ years. Before Katie and George split, I offered to let Katie move in with me for a while, if ...
A. 27 March 2010: You have every right to keep illegal substances out of your house. This is not part your original deal with her. It his her fiance's responsibility to put a roof over her head. If he is unable to do that she should reconsider her commitment to ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother about my love for my cousin?
Q. First off I already know this could be considered incest, but that it's legal in the US, at least in this case cause he's my cousin. He's the son of my grandmother's half brother, correct me if im wrong, so he's my 1st cousin once removed. Back i...
A. 26 March 2010: Well, that's interesting. You are suffering a 3 year crush on an older man. He may not even be aware of your feelings. It started as a classic Florence Nightingale syndrome, you were drawn to him by his need, and feel connected to him by your ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to be dominant in bed?
Q. My guy tends to be sexually submissive. How do i get him to come out of his shell and man handle me? I've tried telling him enough that won't hurt his ego, but I don't know what more there is for me to do or say. Help! How can I get him to be ...
A. 26 March 2010: He probably feels more comfortable in that role, some people are just that way. I take it that in everyday things he is dominant for you. Or, it could be a symptom of our times and he is being too courteous to avoid being called a chauvinist, or ... (read in full...)
Why does he want to stay married to me if he doesn't want me?
Q. my husband and i have been married for 14 years, he has been gone for the past 10 years. I tried to give him a divorce in 2002 because he asked for one, when he received the papers, he wouldn't sign them. He has been living with the other woman for ...
A. 25 March 2010: Money.... (read in full...)
He sent flowers and a bear from overseas, but I am not happy coz they arrived at night after I waited all day for a call.
Q. hey everyone! okay,so it was my birthday a week back and my best friend stays in another country. He sent me flowers that reached me the evening of my birthday and a cute bunny bear that said I love you. But throughout the day,I was waiting for ...
A. 25 March 2010: Some people would complain if you hung them with a brand new rope.
Your best friend, who has a committed girl friend, goes the extra mile to do something nice for you, probably with her guidance. He doesn't want to spoil the surprise so he holds... (read in full...)
I am not interested in sex anymore, ...am I falling out of love or just bored with the same ol things.
Q. READ THIS!!!! PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE!!! okay. so. my boyfriend and i are both 20 years of age. have been dating for 3 years now, and for the past year, i have completely lost almost all of my sex drive that i used to have with him. like most relati...
A. 25 March 2010: If you don't have confidence that you are going to get an orgasm, you aren't going to get excited about having sex. Loss of sexual appetite is a symptom of his poor performance. Just like other areas of his life he is just doing the minimum to get ... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 25 March 2010: Thanks for the update Lexi. Good to know everything is working out.
Online school is a very good choice. 20 years ago when my wife worked with young mothers, that wasn't even an option.
Keep us posted
FA... (read in full...)
Why do I keep thinking in this masochistic way?
Q. I've realized lately that when I'm thinking about guys I'm interested in, and I imagine what it would be like to be with them, I'll start out fantisizing about kissing them, but then I'll start imagining them hitting me. Not because I think they ...
A. 24 March 2010: In dreams this kind of violence could mean that you are desiring to feel stronger emotions. That would fit nicely with your search for companionship.
I won't say that those thoughts aren't normal, the range of human emotion certainly includes... (read in full...)
Where can I get the pill without my parents finding out?
Q. where can i get birthcontrol pills from with out my mama nd daddy findin out???...
A. 24 March 2010: mzz. young,
Go to your parents and talk to them. There is no time in your life that you need an open relationship with your mom as much as you need it now. I don't care how you get your pills. I'm worried about where you are getting your inf... (read in full...)
What are the qualities a guy looks for in a girl to be his life partner?
Q. what are the qualities a guy looks for in a girl to be his life partner.....?...
A. 24 March 2010: I'd go with Frank Kermit on this one. Generally i listen to him when I want to know what women want. He does have a good handle on what it takes to keep a marriage together. It is a strange thing that men have a need to be in control, but we want ... (read in full...)
Big questions about love.... EXPLAIN IT TOO ME!
Q. I have had a lot of trouble in my relationship of 11 months with my boyfriend. The deal here is that him and I are both very willing to turn things around, to make our relationship better... (There has been no physical abuse, or anything severe like ...
A. 24 March 2010: 1, Yes, Ann, love is like a flower if you don't care for it properly it will wilt stop blooming and die. Some people think that as you get used to a person love inevitably fades due to boredom. This is not true. Infatuation fades due to boredom. ... (read in full...)
Do you think going to the bar would help me find 'Mr. Right'?
Q. i've been a single for 4yrs.. hate being a single for long time while my friends got themselves their mr.right. i've been to youth club a yr ago but none of guys doesn't seems attracted to me. i thought about dating site,my cousin warned abo...
A. 23 March 2010: The trouble with finding Mr. right is finding the one with the right first name. You don't want to get to know Mr. Always Right. Mr. Down Right Crazy is a bit of a turn off too.
To tell you the truth the bar scene is not a good place to look.... (read in full...)
I'm woried that anal sex on my bf might turn him gay!
Q. I am a young lady thats enjoys anal sex every once and a while. I also like to perform anal sex on my guy( it turns me on in a weird and powerful way). However,it seems that he really enjoys it now. B4 he did for my benifit.I used to have to begg ...
A. 23 March 2010: Many will disagree, but there is no connection between enjoying a certain sex act with a woman, and being attracted sexually to a man. You haven't changed his sexual orientation, you have just opened him up to a new experience. One that he is not ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to start dating again while I am still married? I've been separated for 3 years but my husband wont divorce me
Q. i've been separated for almost 3 years now. my husband says he will divorce me but hes been saying that for 2 years and still no divorce. i wont do it because i wanted to get back together he didnt. but i feel like he took advantage of that. he ...
A. 23 March 2010: If you are thinking of dating then you are committed to the divorce. You are "over him". Your question shouldn't be whether or not to date, it should be how to wrap up the divorce. You don't want to start dating until you get the paper work done. ... (read in full...)
Am I really everything he says I am?
Q. I ended a relationship a few weeks ago due 2 an abusive incident. My ex and I argued over the dumbest thing and he chose to choke, hit, and yell at me. I left him a week later with no warning or calls; just disappeared. I know leaving like that is ...
A. 23 March 2010: It really all has been said here. I'm only chiming in to make a tiny point for others who may feel trapped in an abusive relationship. Flavor said that she knew it was wrong to leave a relationship the way she did. After he hit her and choked her ... (read in full...)
If the messages in the Bible can only be revealed to the reader by the Holy Spirit residing in you, then why are there so many denominations?
Q. I know this isn't a relationship question... well not a romantic relationship question. But this has been bugging and confusing me for a long time. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. I thought of myself as a Christian but I d...
A. 21 March 2010: Sometimes, When I answer questions I will guess at what the writer needs to hear, other times I will try to identify one or two solid questions out of the very long post. You asked specifically "How do I get peace about this?" I think I should ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and not allowed to marry until I'm 24, how can I convince my dad that I'm mature enough?
Q. Okay, so here goes... My boyfriend Nolan and I are madly in love, have been for a good 4 years now. We are both 17 at the moment, and both virgins, saving ourselves for each other. We've known for a while now that we want to spend the rest of our ...
A. 20 March 2010: I'm quite frustrated by this whole mess. Not quite as frustrated as Q1065, but getting there.
Ellie Marie is a young woman with religious convictions that conflict with her actions. She believes in waiting until Marriage for sex. She believes... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and not allowed to marry until I'm 24, how can I convince my dad that I'm mature enough?
Q. Okay, so here goes... My boyfriend Nolan and I are madly in love, have been for a good 4 years now. We are both 17 at the moment, and both virgins, saving ourselves for each other. We've known for a while now that we want to spend the rest of our ...
A. 19 March 2010: I see 2 mistakes here and one coming up soon.
first: While you dad seems to have learned from his mistake (marrying young) you are unwilling to learn from it. You insist on making the same mistake all over again.
Second: If your dad always ... (read in full...)
Ready for marriage. Why is he holding back?
Q. Help Please. I've bee with my boyfriend for 11years now. We moved in together about 5 years ago. and been engaged for 6years. Now here's mt problem he won't set a date. He says we are soon. But then he says its just a piece a papper and that he ...
A. 17 March 2010: You already know what the answer is. You have already had a trial separation. He is not willing to offer what you need. He is throwing around ultimatums. Take the job and make a clean break. I hate to see such a long term relationship go, but ... (read in full...)
Are my husband's lies a cause for alarm?
Q. Why does my husband lie to me so much? Sometimes it is about important things, in which case he usually tells the truth after words. Sometimes, though, I lies about other general less important things. IE: Once he made the comment that, “Oh, well ...
A. 17 March 2010: I Don't think anyone implied a Quid pro Quo (trading favors) relationship. As a matter of fact I'm really at a bit of a loss about h ow to define your relationship. You seem to be happy in most aspects. More of a communication difficulty. Most ... (read in full...)
Are my husband's lies a cause for alarm?
Q. Why does my husband lie to me so much? Sometimes it is about important things, in which case he usually tells the truth after words. Sometimes, though, I lies about other general less important things. IE: Once he made the comment that, “Oh, well ...
A. 16 March 2010: Appelle,
You are right I was assuming he was around your age. After going through a divorce or breakup many people are insecure and anxious to please the new partner. Even if they hide those feelings. I understand why you are worried, he isn't... (read in full...)
Is my new guy a sex addict?
Q. How horny is too horny? I am getting to know a guy through calls and emails for almost three months. We are going to meet. He seems to be sexually charged which can be attractive. However, he seems to be thinking of sex 90 percent of the time. The ...
A. 16 March 2010: How horny is too horny?
Excellent question, you have hit the point right on the head. There is no normal or average level of sexual interest, drive, or need. It varies from person to person and over the course of your life. It can be affected... (read in full...)
Are my husband's lies a cause for alarm?
Q. Why does my husband lie to me so much? Sometimes it is about important things, in which case he usually tells the truth after words. Sometimes, though, I lies about other general less important things. IE: Once he made the comment that, “Oh, well ...
A. 16 March 2010: The lying is a dangerous habit. It seems that he is doing it to stay out of trouble. As you can see this isn't working, in fact it is causing a level of distrust. Part of the reason he does this is probably your reactions to his comments. Do you ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of the sting from my burn?
Q. i burnt my hand on hot oil about half an hour ago i have been running it under cold water ever since i have now stopped this the swelling has gone down a lot but it is still stinging will it swell up again what can i do to get rid of the sting?...
A. 16 March 2010: Kayla,
Oil burns can be quite nasty because oil can be much hotter. If it hasn't blistered yet you are likely out of the woods. That means a first degree burn. Oil often gives a second degree burn with a blister or blisters. Swelling is norma... (read in full...)
Ready for marriage. Why is he holding back?
Q. Help Please. I've bee with my boyfriend for 11years now. We moved in together about 5 years ago. and been engaged for 6years. Now here's mt problem he won't set a date. He says we are soon. But then he says its just a piece a papper and that he ...
A. 16 March 2010: Thanks for writing back,
Now I'm wondering what could be his problem, and why the nastiness. You didn't mention what you want in a wedding. Some women believe that a year is required to plan a wedding. They wouldn't consider going to a local ... (read in full...)
Ready for marriage. Why is he holding back?
Q. Help Please. I've bee with my boyfriend for 11years now. We moved in together about 5 years ago. and been engaged for 6years. Now here's mt problem he won't set a date. He says we are soon. But then he says its just a piece a papper and that he ...
A. 15 March 2010: What Angzw says makes sense based on the theory that a man is not going to pay for a cow when he is getting free milk. Beware that you are playing with fire trying to get him jealous. It can make a mess.
Your Question "So what's his problem?... (read in full...)
His libido is gone and I'm not sure why?
Q. I have been dating a great guy for a little over 5 months. We are both in our 20's. He has a very demanding job, and is extremely busy, while I am a college student with a much more flexible schedule. Our sex life has always been great- we have ...
A. 15 March 2010: Yep that is a bad mixture for the ole libido. Get him into the doc to adjust that anti depressant, some of them have exactly that side effect. Getting him off the alcohol will be worth it all in the long run.
Also tell him from time to time ... (read in full...)
My crush makes fun of me!
Q. Every time i see my crush he makes fun of me. He calls me ugly and 'manvoice. He is even getting his friends in on it. How do i get him to stop? How do i know if he likes me back? Please put answers!...
A. 15 March 2010: Hi princess,
Oh the agony of being 13-ish. Crushes and insecurity, and boys who barely know you exist. And even if they did like you they wouldn't know what to do about it. In a few years he will be kicking himself for the fool he is now. Bu... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 1 March 2010: Good Morning Lexi,
I thought I Had a few more months before I had to answer this question. Changing your mind about adoption is pretty common. Some times mothers change at the last minute. The baby is more real to you now and you are becoming... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 1 March 2010: Hi ya Lexi,
It is good to hear that all is going well. So you are starting the second trimester. For many it is the easy coasting part of the pregnancy. No radical changes, not so overburdened. My secretary is nearing the end of her second t... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 27 February 2010: Lexi,
Congratulations on that milestone. It all seems so much more real when you hear that heartbeat. Thanks for keeping us updated.
FA... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 19 February 2010: Lexi I feel so much better knowing your family is behind you on this. It is a good sign that your boy friend is being supportive as well. This will be a hard time for you, because it will separate you from your peers. You may feel all alone.
... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 18 February 2010: That's a good decision Lexi and I am glad you are thinking of what is best for the baby. Are your parents on board with you in this decision? Have you seen a doctor? Have you found a good adoption agency? I don't want to be a pest, or stack you ... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 17 February 2010: Hi again Lexi,
OK you have one person on your support team and you are having dialog with your parents. That's good for 1 day. Keep talking to mom and dad.
Let me tell you a little more about being a parent of teenagers. I made mistakes wi... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 16 February 2010: Why do parents say these things. I mean I could see saying, "If you have a drug party in my house, I'm going to kick you out". You could justify that by saying you are protecting the other kids, and the home. Besides kids want to party, they ... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 16 February 2010: With that amount of information about all we can advise is to do what the doctor says. Build yourself a good support group. Eat healthy, exercise, and take care of your self.
More information could improve the advice.
FA... (read in full...)
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