My married lover won't leave her husband....
Q. Hi, I am in a love with a married woman. I know that she loves me too. She stays with her husband. Both stay together. They had some problems in their relationship in which I came in between and we started loving each other. I know her very well. ...
A. 21 June 2008: So she cares more about her reputation than about you... that says a lot to me.
Move on and get over her. She's never going to leave her husband for you, he's never going to leave her.
Find a woman who will love you back.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Why do women like to tease men about sex??
Q. Why do women like to tease men about sex? Why not just be open to their needs instead of making it such a big deal!!!...
A. 21 June 2008: Its called flirting, and enjoying the thrill of the chase / being chased.
If we all went round saying "you are attractive, would you enter into sexual relations with me on a one night / ongoing basis?" then we would be robots.
Good Luck!! x... (read in full...)
I love my husband but want my builder
Q. Hi Im confused! I am 21 and have always been very headstrong! 4 years ago i met a married man who i instantly fell for. I found out he wasnt happy in his marraige and made a play for him...it worked and i am now married to him! He worships the grou...
A. 21 June 2008: You husband is no longer a challenge for you. He was married, but you managed to steal him away, he was rich, but now you've got control of his money. You've sucked the life out of him so you want to move on to your next challenge.
The fact thi... (read in full...)
The girl I love is leaving soon, how do I let her know?
Q. Look it's a really, really long story filled with pain and suffering - something I feel I created - but 2 weeks today I know I'm going to be going through a world of pain I know I can't handle. You can call me weak about it, but I'm insanely inf...
A. 21 June 2008: You may have over protective parents but I am sure they want grandkids one day and that involves you dating girls.
You are 18. You are old enough to go to war, so you are old enough to go up to this girl and ask her if she wants to go out for dinn... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should give her the chance to explain or just write her off. What do you think?
Q. I recently broke my ankle, which required immediate surgery and had to spend a couple of days at my "best friend's" house until my mother got here from out of town to help me out. While I was in the hospital my friend had claimed that she had tol...
A. 21 June 2008: I know you want closure but she is very unlikely to sit down and talk rationally about why she has acted this way. It's more likely to cause more trouble and more emails and more mess if you approach her.
I think your best bet is to accept t... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he be having a bit of variety (watching porn) as to not become bored with me? Should I encourage him to fantasize about other girls...?
Q. Is this too "good" to be true? I feel like something's wrong with it! Either my bf is a liar or seriously commited. The other day we were talking about sex and stuff. I asked him if he ever wanted to go to a strip club. He said he didn't, that it ...
A. 21 June 2008: When you are truely in love with someone then they are the one person on your mind. Why would you want to think about anyone else?
He obviously loves you and I think that is the real reason you are freaking out - you can tell he loves you more tha... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if this is the relationship for me anymore. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now. We have even moved in with eachother because we were so much in love. Recently I have been questioning the relationship because of her irresponsible use of medication when trying to cope with ...
A. 21 June 2008: So at the first sign that she might have a problem with something in her life - you want out?
You should leave this girl now because you are obviously only with her for the good times. You'll be doing her a favour as then she can find a boyfrien... (read in full...)
Why has his mum added me to her facebook?
Q. I'm 19 and there's this guy who I went to high school with who added me to his facebook as a friend. A while after that his mum added me to her facebook which I thought was really weird! She hasn't messaged me or anything saying why. I looked at...
A. 21 June 2008: She's probably just adding everyone she knows.
Don't be afraid to ignore her invitation. I get random people adding me just because we have a mutual friend. I get the feeling they just like the idea of being able to say "I have 59493857 facebook... (read in full...)
Tempted to stray now my Bf is far away!
Q. I'm very much in love with my bf. We have been in a long distance relationship for about almost a month and a half, and before that we were practically living together. I just recently met a guy who i think i might have a crush on. I'm not going to ...
A. 21 June 2008: If you were with him all the time when you were together then it might not have been love but just easy convenience with someone you cared about.
Long distance is really the thing that shows whether a relationship is going to last forever or not. ... (read in full...)
How do other couples work through a long distance relationship?
Q. As I sit here typing this, I think of how ironic it is that my boyfriend and I, 25 km from each other, would have to endure a long distance relationship. However, yesterday I was informed of his plans to travel to the other side of the world for 5 ...
A. 19 June 2008: Yep been there done that, got the t-shirt. (army wife)
Well my hubbie has been gone 26 days now on a 6 month tour of Iraq.
The best way to get through this is to completely throw yourself into something new. Start a new hobby, get a second job... (read in full...)
She says the affair "just happened" what does it mean?
Q. My wife had an affair. We have tried to talk about it, and she said 'it just happened'. What does this mean. Is she putting it down to the hand of God. I've pressed her on the point but she maintains it just happened. Explain please....
A. 17 June 2008: If it just happened it means she was attracted to another man and gave into temptation, having either forgotten about or stopped caring about you.
She is basically saying it was her fault, not yours.
So now you have to figure out what you are... (read in full...)
His drug use is destroying me but I want to stay to help him...
Q. hello can u help me i not sure if im in a abusive relationship as i suffer from anxiety and depression i have a child with my partner of six years and iv deciced to end it but i keep questioning myself that im doing the right thing he likes to keep ...
A. 17 June 2008: You say you want to help him.... 2 questions.
1. Do you think he is going to change unless he has to? By you sticking around and being a doormat, does this inspire him to get off the drugs and be a better husband / father?
2. Why are you not ... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can stop my pubic hairs growing back so quick?
Q. Is there any way I can stop my pubic hairs growing back so quick? I have to shave and moisturize twice a day! Waxing isn't really an option I'm afraid, and laser removal is way out of reach. So if I carry on shaving, is there any way I can stop the...
A. 17 June 2008: You can get creams from Boots that claim to help delay regrowth, I don't know if they work but they moisturise the area so can't do any harm to use. I got the Boots brand one and they only cost a fiver.
You can also get electrical hair removal ... (read in full...)
Follow up question - The disappearing act has reappeared...now what?!
Q. So I posted my situation on here last week: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/whats-with-his-disappearing-act.html And, after several weeks of not talking, my disappearing act from that post has reappeared. He called last night and this is basi...
A. 17 June 2008: He's rung up and explained that he's an idiot - so here is what you do now.
You accept that he's an immature scared little idiot and you move on.
At least you know he feels bad about how he behaved.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I pay all the bills. He buys the food. Is he using me?
Q. I have been dating for almost 3 years, He has a 14 and 21 year old. I have a 16 year old. my boyfreind has been living with me for 2-1/2 years. I pay all of my bills he buys the food he wants me to cook and thats it. he owns 160 rental properties ...
A. 17 June 2008: Even if he isn't using you then it still matters that you feel like he is. Tell him you just can't afford to keep him any more and tell him he has to help with the bills of move home.
It doesn't have to be a break up, just a financial decision... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'm only with him for sex...
Q. Is there a way to decrease a persons sex drive? I'm horny all the time and it's causing tension with my boyfriend because he thinks I'm only with him for sex, I want to prove him wrong....
A. 17 June 2008: Head on over to Anne Summers (or an adult website if you are shy) and buy a sex toy.
Then tell your man that you are not going to have sex with him again until he agrees that you are with him for love not sex.
You can use your toy to survive a... (read in full...)
Can a muslim where a scarf to cover her hair?
Q. Hi,im really passionate about being a hairdresser and beautician but i was wondering if your a muslim and you want to wear a scarf to cover your hair,can you?thanks....
A. 17 June 2008: Some hairdressers will be against you covering your head (rightly or wrongly), others won't mind. There are hundreds of hair dressers around, you'll just have to ask when you go in to apply for jobs there.
Follow your dreams!!
Good Luck!! x... (read in full...)
I'm worried about putting on weight if I take the pill. Are there ways to avoid it?
Q. I'm having to go on the pill, due to heavy periods and unbearable stomach cramps. However, I'm concerned of the side-effects... Apparently you can gain alot of weight, i'm not prepared to sacrafice my pain for that!!! I'm tall and fairly slim, this ...
A. 17 June 2008: I've been on three different types of pill and none have made me put on any more than about 3 pounds - and most of that went onto my boobs.
The only time I've put on weight is when I've eaten too many chinese take aways and not done any exercise... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and only want sex but can't find a girl that will accept that
Q. I am a virgin and it seems to me that im only attracted to women becayse of the sex but i cant find a girl to be with nthat accepts me the way that i am. ...
A. 17 June 2008: Well going up to them ans saying "please can I use you to lose my virginity" isn't exactly the smoothest chat up line.
If you want no strings sex then hit the clubs, there are plenty of girls who will be happy with a one night stand, they just don... (read in full...)
Should I risk telling my friend I love her?
Q. I've developed feelings for my straight friend, who's also a girl (S). She doesn't know this yet, but I want to tell her. I know that most teenagers go through this stage of sexuality confusion (we're both 15 in our last year of school), and it's ...
A. 16 June 2008: Well it's a gamble. You do risk losing her as a friend.
As you say it could just be that you have gotten very close and with all your raging hormones and with anti-men feelings from your break up you are getting carried away.
You are also ... (read in full...)
Addicted to going through his stuff - he's going to leave me - help!
Q. So, I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We dated 7 years ago for a few short months and broke up because he was cheating on me. He called me three years ago and we have been together since. For about the last year we have been fighting ...
A. 16 June 2008: Bad habits are always easy to do the more you do them...
But you KNOW this is a BAD thing to do.
You just need to bite the bullet, recognise you have a problem / habit / addiction / whatever you want to call it and go cold turkey.
Find... (read in full...)
I want to do more sexy things for my boyfriend...
Q. Me and my bf have been together for almost two years now and we've has sex plenty of times but it seems that I'm always the one enjoying it better. Don't get me wrong he gets off and says he is when I ask him but he always does all the work. I'm not ...
A. 16 June 2008: Aww, you're nice.
Well there are tonnes of things you could do....
Dressing up in a little outfit? telling him how great he is while you are doing things with him? Get the squirty cream out and play games?
Bare in mind that he might be hav... (read in full...)
He wants to "see me" but doesn't want a girlfriend...
Q. Is it ok to be seeing someone but not strictly going out? Ive been seeing a guy for four months, he says he would love to go out with me but as he works late he hasnt time enough to see me as a girlfriend but still wants to see me. Do thse things e...
A. 16 June 2008: It's a tough one. Seeing someone can be great, I was "seeing" my husband for a while because we enjoyed eachothers company and enjoyed going to restaurants.
But I made it clear I wasn't going past hand holding and kissing as long as we weren't ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my bf about my drunken flirting?
Q. Recently when out and quite drunk I got talking to this guy who was really dead on. He knew I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. I was chatting to him for ages about both our partners and lots of other things. But as the alcohol started ...
A. 16 June 2008: You flirted and felt an attraction. You did this because you were DRUNK! It didn't mean anything.
You do stupid things when you are drunk. Are you going to sit him down and tell him you may not have been in tune on the Kareoke? That's another ... (read in full...)
I want her, but she wants to party
Q. quick q, we're both 22. i've told the girl i love her, i've known her for years and now seemed like a great time to tell her, she's said she doesn't want a bf at the mo, she still wants to have fun and a laugh with her mates when shes out, get dr...
A. 16 June 2008: I'd say yes, she is leading you on - but I don't think she means to, she is just being nice and flirting because she likes you and texting because you are a close friend and will give her lots of attention whenever she wants it. She has told you ... (read in full...)
Is this normal? My nipples are cracked and I get hard yellow stuff in the crack!
Q. This is a horrible question, but can I just ask is this normal.....my nipples are cracked in the middle and I get like...yellow hard stuff in this crack. Is this normal? Is there any way to get rid of it? Thanks....
A. 16 June 2008: Depends what you mean by cracked....
If you mean the skin is hard and dry and splitting then you may have a problem - use moisturiser and if that doesn't help then go to the doctor and get checked out.
If you mean that on very close inspection... (read in full...)
Any tips for giving a handjob?
Q. ive been totally in love with my best friend for like 2 years and a couple weeks ago he told me he felt the same way so we started going out. so we've been fooling around and he can turn me on without any effort and even make me sqeal without ...
A. 16 June 2008: It's nothing to do with technique hun.... he's going to come because there is a sexy girl on him, touching him.
Take your top off so he can see your chest jiggle as you do it, and smile and keep eye contact and pretend to be confident if you are ... (read in full...)
I can't be with her due to my background and my family...what do you think of my situation??
Q. Towards the end of 2006 i met this amazing girl through a friend. I just thought she was really cute and there was something special about her, we started chatting and flirting online at first and then one day we were both out at a club at the same ...
A. 16 June 2008: They can't force you into an arranged marriage as that is illegal, however they can pressure you and guilt you into agreeing to it.
Have you tried talking to them about how much you love this girl and how hurt you are that they would never ac... (read in full...)
I'm above my fiance financially, he depends on his dad. Should I end this?
Q. Please tell me if there's anything wrong in this. I'm above my fiance financially, he doesn't have a regular income and somehow depends on his dad, who seldom helps him. We want to get married in seven months time. Do I cut off?...
A. 16 June 2008: I think you'd better postpone the wedding because how the hell are you going to afford it if only one of you is working? How will you afford to get a place to live in together?
Tell him you want to be a stable couple with stable jobs before y... (read in full...)
Has anyone any experience of dealing with your confidence levels after failing a professional qualification?
Q. i would like to know if there are people out there who failed a subject while doing a professional course such as doctor,engineering or dentistry???how did it go after that..did it put down your confidence level..i need help..thanks...
A. 15 June 2008: Hell yeah it kicks you in the teeth hard.
You can do one of two things:
1. You can accept your failure and go and get a job in McDonalds. (They have a pretty good pension plan and if you get to manager level you get shares and a company car.) ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my insecurities?
Q. I feel so insecure in my current relationship, i have got back together with one of my ex boyfriends, we broke up before because at the time it was just inconvient for us both. But i took him back because he literally begged me too because he had ...
A. 15 June 2008: I'm going to take the tough line on this one and say give yourself a slap. You know you are being crazy about this because of your Ex. So when those feelings creep in then kick yourself up the bum for letting your Ex keep messing you up.
He's ... (read in full...)
What else can I do to get over my ex?
Q. My online ex dumped me a few months back and we have being comunicating now and again. We exchange e-mails on a daily basis. A few days ago, we talked, like properly and it felt like we were "us" again. Thing is I know he's over me and I know tha...
A. 15 June 2008: Talking about things constantly can just keep you stuck in the same swirl of loving him and wanting him and being hurt about it.
My advice is to stop talking about it. It's old news. It's boring!
You've blocked him and cut contact which is... (read in full...)
Have I made a huge mistake pushing things?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 4 years, we have had our ups and downs and had a falling out after he nearly went astray with another woman. we got back together, and things have gone quickly back (feelings wise) to how they used to be. ...
A. 15 June 2008: I'd say you are doing it right, you have offered to give him space in the past and slow things down, now you are offereing to take things forward. You are hardly begging the guy for marriage and babies.
Chill out and tell him how you feel. Co... (read in full...)
I fancy my ex boyfriends best mate, what do I do?
Q. Okay so I get dumped by my ex due to a pathetic row, can't get over him then start fancying his best mate. what do I do? I was seeing my ex 7 months back, seems like yesterday, was totally in love with him when he broke up with me, I still think i ...
A. 15 June 2008: This sounds like one big mess waiting to happen. I would stay away from both these guys so you can get some distance.
The fact you fancy his mate is a good sign, it means you are getting over your ex. Now you just need to find new and differen... (read in full...)
I need to get over a lad and accept him as a friend. Also, I need help talking to him.
Q. Ok this might turn out a bit long beause i have two things i want to ask. Ok first one: I need to get over this lad and just acept him as a friend. The thing is its to hard because i really love him and although he has said to my mate he doesn't ...
A. 15 June 2008: If you keep playing with your own head then you are going to end up driving yourself mad. Maybe he likes you maybe he doesn't. It doesn't matter, he doesn't want to be with you right now so you need to stop torturing yourself with What If ... (read in full...)
Should I meet this bi older girl?
Q. i am a girl aged 19 and recently i met this girl through a site.she is 25 years old..and we talk a lot on msn..she has a boyfriend with whom she has a live in relationship but she is bisexual..we talk to each other a lot and now she wants to meet ...
A. 15 June 2008: Well you don't have to tell them she's a girl, or you could just say you are meeting as friends, but make sure you have someone looking out for you. Better safe than sorry!
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my size. Is it still puppy fat?
Q. Hi there, this is more of a health question. I am 12 years old and 13 next year, and I am worried about my size (*hears all the people reading this sigh because this is written at least 50 times a week*) I know i am not fat, but i also know that i...
A. 15 June 2008: When you say you are gaining weight, do you actually see any fat appearing on your stomach or your bum? Or are you just going off reading the scales?
The reason you may be putting on weight is that you are growing. Bone, muscle, breasts, hips, th... (read in full...)
It's like she lives on another planet. Is this abnormal and how do I fix it?
Q. My wife of five years is driving me crazy. We're both Christians but she, unlike me, is very devout and has an incredibly attitude towards all forms of physical intimacy. She isn't interested in having kids and does not believe in recreational sex. ...
A. 15 June 2008: Wow, how did you not know about this before you married her?
If she won't talk about it then you are going to have to make her talk about it.
Tell her you are leaving because it's clear she doesn't love you. Tell her people who love each other ... (read in full...)
He said he's never doing it again!!
Q. my boyfiend went down on me last night...he said i was the first girl he ever did that to...but he said he would never do it again....he said he only did it to prove to me how much he loves me....i think its just somethin wrong wit me down there and ...
A. 15 June 2008: Well he's probably only seen them up close in porn before so he's expecting you to be free of hair and totally symmetrical and pink and smell free.
Unfortunately all girls have hair down there and they all have a smell and they all have a taste. Y... (read in full...)
He's semi-moved in with me but I'm not so sure about it...
Q. I have been a relationship for 5 years and resently my bf and I have been staying with each other a lot i.e. he spends about two/three weeks with me every now and then. I have encountered a few problems while he's been with me which have given me ...
A. 15 June 2008: Ahhhh, the classic "we've been together so I can take you for granted" type of boyfriend.
We get millions of them here at Dear Cupid.
You've been together since you were teens so he has never had to learn from his mistakes or grow up to be in... (read in full...)
Should I meet this bi older girl?
Q. i am a girl aged 19 and recently i met this girl through a site.she is 25 years old..and we talk a lot on msn..she has a boyfriend with whom she has a live in relationship but she is bisexual..we talk to each other a lot and now she wants to meet ...
A. 15 June 2008: Well follow the usual rules of meeting internet people. Do it in a public place and tell friends or someone where you are going and tell them you will text them every now and then to show you are not kidnapped / murdered.
You aren't a little g... (read in full...)
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