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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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All of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts school.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and am almost back from a one year long distance relationship. What is bothering me is that all of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts ...
A. 16 August 2007: André, you've been asking questions for a long time, since you are away from your girlfriend. I don't think that a person whose relationship were going smooth would ask questions about it, in the tone and about the issues you discuss. So, my take ... (read in full...)
I'm really confused about this guy I like... I can't read his signals.
Q. I'm really confused about this guy I like. I think he likes me, he is always trying to make me laugh, I catch him staring at me loads. If we are out in a group he always looks over at me but when we are on our own he gets nervous and seems to get ...
A. 16 August 2007: Hard to say. Maybe he does. Since you're part of the same group, isn't there anyone else who could give you a clue?... (read in full...)
I think he is great and we could be perfect for each other, but I'm afraid to show my true colors, and shy that he might think I'm a nutter!?!
Q. I have a huge crush on a guy I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend. We met at work place where he is a counsellor and I'm the receptionist. He is quite flirty, always smiling, attentive, is funny and thoughtful. Everytime he speaks to me, my heart ...
A. 16 August 2007: You should not think of yourself as less than anyone. There will always be people with better jobs, better skills, better et cetera, and that doesn't mean you're just a small thing that anyone can despise. You have a lot of value and you should be ... (read in full...)
I really love this guy and I keep thinking when he comes to his senses he will come back.
Q. I'm really down, I know I need to move on, but I really love this guy and I keep thinking when he comes to his senses he will come back. I met this guy just before Christmas 2006, we talked on the phone a few times then I said about meeting for a dr...
A. 16 August 2007: Loving someone who's done a lot of harm is the ordeal of so many people. You are not worse than anyone for this. All you need to do is get the courage to get over him and move on.
It seems this man is a cruel player. You should see him in this ... (read in full...)
So how do I make him comfortable to express his true feelings without getting phobic?
Q. Simple question... How do I win my ex back?! He's got relationship and commitment phobia (according to his own words) we've been together for almost a year and we've been apart for almost a year as well, but we've been in contact now for about 2 ...
A. 16 August 2007: I see you'd like us to give you a hint that would do the trick of bringing him back to a relationship with you. Presently, you are walking on eggshells: you're afraid any small mistake would scare him away. This is a very difficult and sad ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts school.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and am almost back from a one year long distance relationship. What is bothering me is that all of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts ...
A. 16 August 2007: Frank is right: she's obviously telling you she'll dump you. The worst part here is, you're expected to act as if nothing were happening. I say, don't wait for her to "officially" give you the bad news. If I were you, I wouldn't try to get her ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for my partner to go on holiday with her father and our sons a regular basis without me?
Q. I am in love with a woman who at times is the highlight of my life. We have one son together and she has one son from a previous relationship. Is it normal for a woman to want to go away with her father and my sons on a regular basis( vacations, ...
A. 16 August 2007: I'm with Kenny. This is somewhat odd.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend cant handle the distance but says she still loves me, what should i do?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship and have been for a year and a half now but my girlfriend said she can't be herself around me because everytime i see her its like we have to start all over again. she wants to leave me for another guy but says ...
A. 15 August 2007: It seems to me that she is not happy with the relationship, but feels awful to be the one to break up. She is like asking for your "permission", "approval" or something like that.
If she feels unhappy with the long distance, I think you should n... (read in full...)
Should i change myself for him?
Q. I am 17 years old and fell for a friend of mine (23 years old). i just recently found out that he has feelings for me too. i have liked him for a long time and would really like for us to start a relationship together. the reason i fell for him in ...
A. 15 August 2007: Dear, I want to commend you on the clarity with with you see this situation. Yes, of course you should act your own age!
This man is asking you to become someone you are not. I say, don't change for him. Don't even try: you can't become d... (read in full...)
Is it a bad trait?
Q. My boyfriend always wants me to give him head. Is that a bad trait in a man?...
A. 15 August 2007: If you don't want to give him head every time, this is a hell of a bad trait. You should not be doing what you don't like to do.
If you are truly happy to please him, then it't not a bad trait. He likes it very much.... (read in full...)
Do I tell my ex I still love her dearly?
Q. I split up with my ex about 3 months ago and I still love her dearly, we still live together because we have a little boy together and we are still best friends. I have started seeing someone else but nothing serious and my ex asked me yesterday if ...
A. 15 August 2007: Sweet_thing has told you what you need to know. It was never over. Go for her!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is very rough on me regarding sex, it hurts!
Q. Hi, I have decided I'm sticking with my boyfriend, the only thing that I need help with is when me and my boyfriend have sex he is really rough and he hurts and he wants to do it all the time and I'm being serious, he wants it every day but if we do ...
A. 15 August 2007: I agree with Sandman.... (read in full...)
Should I give my boyfriend oral and if I do, what are the health risks?
Q. Should I give my boyfriend oral and if I do, what are the health risks? The other week my boyfriend gave me oral and I think that it's only fair that I give him oral back but I don't know how to get into the mood and I want to know if there ar...
A. 15 August 2007: As to whether you should give your boyfriend oral, my answer would be, "if you feel like it, yes".
I think, however, that you should never give him oral just because he gave it to you. If he did that for you, that's his pleasure and yours; ... (read in full...)
My wife and I don't get along - would it be wrong to have sex with my ex?
Q. My wife cheated on me several times. We started to divorce but then we decided to give it another try. I must admit I hold onto a lot of resentment for all the lies and deciet along with her excuse that it was my fault she cheated. Things were good ...
A. 15 August 2007: It seems to me that your marriage is very much dead and the decent thing would be to give it the burial it deserves. You should get a divorce right away.
Are you sure you don't want to sleep with this friend just to get even with your wife? F... (read in full...)
He'd rather masturbate to porn than have sex with me.
Q. I have been married about 5 years. My husband wanted to have babies when we were dating so I said I would but only if we get married. So then we got married. I got pregnant but he never wanted to have sex unless it was to make a baby. Once I was ...
A. 15 August 2007: I hope things work out the best way possible for everyone involved. Keep us posted.... (read in full...)
Should I marry my fiance even although I am not in love with him?
Q. Hi, I have been dating my fiance for 1 year and we have just got engaged. He is a very kind, caring and thoughtful guy and would do almost anything for me. I have never been out with anyone who has so wanted to take care of me and thinks of me...
A. 15 August 2007: Very simple: if you don't love him, don't marry him.
Also, give him the chance to find someone who will love him. Tell him how you feel as soon as possible.... (read in full...)
Do you think this could work out??
Q. I met a guy over a year ago let's call him John, we really got on but I was in a relationship at the time. A few weeks later we broke up. About a month later I called John but he was in a relationship himself. They broke up fairly soon after an...
A. 15 August 2007: I'm with sexi. You should try to actually meet with him again and see if things work out.... (read in full...)
A relationship break???
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend (well he broke up with me) but I don't want the relationsihp to be over. I'm just curious how many people have experienced break-ups and gotten back together successfully? I know it happens - I've seen it in ...
A. 15 August 2007: I agree with the posters. Very often break-ups are forever.... (read in full...)
I have fallen for someone else, do I dump my boyfriend of 5 years?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, he treats me pretty bad, he relies on me for everything! I told him that I had had enough and wanted him to go! So he did but then came back and kept telling me he would change but the thing is I have ...
A. 15 August 2007: I think I understand that your "boyfriend" isn't really your boyfriend anymore, since you told him to go away, but he keeps insisting and says he will change.
One night is not enough to know what a person feels for you. However, it is clear yo... (read in full...)
Is it actually starting to sink in with him what he might have lost?
Q. My ex and I have been split up nearley 4 months now, he has moved on, we still have to contact each other because we have a baby of 8 months, it has been very hard. Anyway to cut a long story short, I have stopped contact with him for a few months...
A. 15 August 2007: I think he is doing what you said he should do: maintain contact through your sister. He may have asked for his CV out of a real need, or maybe just out of trying to show he cares for you and the baby. But, I'm afraid this is not enough to say he ... (read in full...)
I had the girl I had always day dreamt about and then she left me...
Q. Hey all, I met a girl at the start of university on my course, we had small talk in lectures whenever we crossed paths and I instantly liked her, I remember seeing and empty chair next to her and not daring to sit in it! So anyway I just ca...
A. 15 August 2007: You have every reason to be heartbroken, as this break up seems to have come out of the blue. Also, her way to dump you was not exactly the best.
I also understand your asking yourself what could have gone wrong and how to remedy that. But, my ... (read in full...)
I always seem to get attached so quickly in a relationship, why does this happen?
Q. I feel like I get attached so easily either in relationships or even meeting a guy for the first night and developing feelings. I don't understand how it happens but is there anyway that I can become not so attached. I'm really starting to think ...
A. 15 August 2007: Dear, you develop a quick attachment because you need love. This will not go away unless you get it. Since becoming attached is a problem, try to keep your manifestations of love in check. This is the only way to solve it. When someone does get ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend loved me sooooooo much but after 6 months she suddenly said that she is not intrested in me and I really don't know why...? I didn't do anything bad...
Q. My girlfriend loved me sooooooo much but after 6 months she suddenly said that she is not intrested in me and I really don't know why...? I didn't do anything bad... ...
A. 14 August 2007: No person ever breaks up with someone else out of the blue. There is always some reason. Maybe you failed to see a problem in the relationship, but she obviously saw one.
The usual advice: don't push it. If she wants to break up, let her. Yo... (read in full...)
She told me to break up with him so I did but I really love him and I want to get back with him.
Q. dear cupid.. Me and my godsister like the same guy, and he likes me and her. I asked him out and he said yes, then my godsister was mad at me. She told me to break up with him so I did but I really love him and I want to get back with him. What ...
A. 14 August 2007: You shouldn't have broken up with him. Do you think you can get him back?... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a girl from another country. Will it, can it or has this worked for anyone ever?
Q. I'm in love with a girl from another country. Will it, can it or has this worked for anyone ever? ...
A. 14 August 2007: I suppose you mean you're in love with someone who doesn't live in your own country. A long-distance, international relationship. I have seen some such relationships actually work. If you have doubts whether yours would work, won't you please ... (read in full...)
Do you think that it is possible to have many sexual partners in 1 night stand bases without her looking for sex?
Q. I'm 29, my partner is 21. I had 2 sexual partners 1 through marriage and 1 short term relationships, never 1 night stand. My partner was sexually active since the age of 14, she had 30 sexual partners most of them were 1 night stand. She keeps ...
A. 14 August 2007: Whatever the reason, she wanted the sex. Does she want a one night stand now? I don't think so.
The past is in the past, and you need to trust her from now on. But, the human heart doesn't work like a clock. Can you get over this? If you can'... (read in full...)
I have an online bf and a real-life lover! Feeling guilty..so how do I make sense of all this?
Q. Hello, In Dec 2006 I was introduced to my 40yr old boyfriend who lives in UK while I live in South Africa. I’m 31 yrs old. We’ve never met physically but I love him to bits and because we are both divorcees and HIV+, the relationship has so much ...
A. 14 August 2007: Follow eyeswideopen's advice: break up with the long distance guy, and stay with the one you are now with. Apparently neither your boyfriend nor you are really into each other anymore.... (read in full...)
He'd rather masturbate to porn than have sex with me.
Q. I have been married about 5 years. My husband wanted to have babies when we were dating so I said I would but only if we get married. So then we got married. I got pregnant but he never wanted to have sex unless it was to make a baby. Once I was ...
A. 14 August 2007: This is not your family's decision, or OUR decision, but yours. You come here for help and we will give opinions, though. I hope you can pick the best option.
All the roads ahead are very difficult, but, if I were you, I would get a divorce.... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals from my boyfriend.
Q. I'm getting mixed signals from my boyfriend. He is 19 and I am 18 and we've been together for around 18 months now. My problem is that about a month ago he started acting funny with me, blowing hot and cold all the time, never seeing me on my own ...
A. 14 August 2007: It would seem natural that a boyfriend would like to have time alone with his girl. So, I have bad feelings about this. But, you need to ask. Tell him how you feel and see his reaction.
It's very unlikely that he will speak up if there really i... (read in full...)
I know now he really loves me and married the wrong woman.
Q. My best friend (a male), just got married a few months ago. We have been friends for a long time and I have always been in love with him, but never told him since he has had a steady girlfriend for the past 2.5 years who he recently married. I ...
A. 14 August 2007: This is very sad, but I think you will need to follow flower girl's excellent advice and forget about him. At least as a lover, but I think you would have a very hard time not thinking of him as such, as simply a friend.
I will be a bit cynic. ... (read in full...)
Whilst deep down I know she's right, it's really hard and part of me wanted to try a long distance relationship.
Q. I'm relocating at 400 miles for a job, and I have recently being saying goodbye to all my friends that are staying put. Since May I've had a crush on a friend who I suspected (occaisonally) may have returned the feeling, and after walking he...
A. 14 August 2007: I beg to disagree a bit with the other posters: What if you ring her and she doesn't like it? How are you to know?... (read in full...)
Is she being just friendly to me or does she really like me?
Q. well ive liked this girl for 2 years. and i finally got the courage to get her email off someone who knows her about 5 months ago. we'd never met prior to this. but i knew who she was coz she went to my school. the first time she ever saw me was...
A. 14 August 2007: To this point, she is only being friendly. If you want to know better, do get to talk to her and see the signs.... (read in full...)
What are the signs when a guy is using you? Am I just his "money comfort?"
Q. What are the signs when a guys is using you? He works full time but has called in sick I think too many times. I wish he was more responsible. I feel like I support him and me. Eventhough he gets paid twice as much as me. I am almost everyday buying ...
A. 14 August 2007: Dear, he is using you. He spends his money in other pursuits because he knows you will pay his food if he needs to. This is plainly abusive. He's irresponsible, too. This will continue to go on for as long as you allow him to. Tell him that he ... (read in full...)
Whilst deep down I know she's right, it's really hard and part of me wanted to try a long distance relationship.
Q. I'm relocating at 400 miles for a job, and I have recently being saying goodbye to all my friends that are staying put. Since May I've had a crush on a friend who I suspected (occaisonally) may have returned the feeling, and after walking he...
A. 14 August 2007: Like she said, move on. She doesn't want a relationship, long- or short-distance.
I know it hurts, but, you'll feel better later. Since you're moving, you may find another interesting person over there.... (read in full...)
I'm so confused by his actions.
Q. Does he like me or not? There is a guy who I kissed a while ago, one of his best friends said he liked me but he doesen't want a girlfriend, he got hurt badly a while ago and just wants to have fun with his friends and not get hurt again. We do talk ...
A. 14 August 2007: Your friends are right, dear.
This is a man I very much would like to understand. He doesn't want a girlfriend, he doesn't always even talk to you, and he is angry if you are with someone else?
As to calling you a horrible name, you very m... (read in full...)
How and what do I do to win her over? I'm crazy in love with this girl and I don't wanna give up on her
Q. Now, I know what 99% of people are going to think, but I love her. I'm 18 and she's 16. We were together for just over 2 months (yeah, not exactly the longest relationship I know but I fell for her fast). Things were going great, she was the one ...
A. 14 August 2007: I'll be a bit harsh because I know for a fact that the bare truth is always best.
The little bit SOMETHING that you are missing is this: she doesn't feel the same as you do. If she loved you the way you loved her, you'd be together. The very... (read in full...)
We went back to the hotel and I asked her if she still wanted sex and she said yes - I am a woman also.
Q. Hi there. I met a woman on the internet last year and she said there was no chemistry. We went out for a drink and a meal and got on really well, we went back to the hotel and I asked her if she still wanted sex and she said yes - I am a woman also. ...
A. 14 August 2007: Jenny, I feel like this woman had her own goals, and they certainly don't match yours. I say, it's best if you forget about her.... (read in full...)
Do women who have a decreased sex drive from meds still get turned on by people they find attrcative?
Q. Do women who have a decreased sex drive from meds still get turned on by people they find attrcative?...
A. 14 August 2007: Yep.... (read in full...)
Am I right with my assumption that she doesn't love me anymore and I'm bound to be broken up with?
Q. Am I going to be broken up with? My girlfriend and I are both 19 years old we've been dating for a almost 2 years and we're each others first love. Only problem - I've had to be in Europe for nearly 6 weeks. Since I've been gone she seems to have ...
A. 14 August 2007: It's hard to say whether you'll be broken up with, but, it's possible. The signs do seem to be there. If she wants you to say you will break up, she will wait until you say so. A woman whose opinions I respect so much told me that girls don't ... (read in full...)
Why didnt I just walk away???
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. He is wonderful and everything I have ever wanted. I have never been this content. This is why I am devastated and confused about my recent behaviour. An older male colleague of mine expressed some int...
A. 13 August 2007: If the other man comes your way again, tell him, in very concise and direct terms, that you are not interested, and that he must stop approaching you.
On the other hand, think why you didn't do this before.... (read in full...)
I don't know if my ex still has feelings for me. Any help?
Q. I don't know if my ex still has feelings for me. My girlfriend and I seperated in February. We had been together for four years and lived together for two. Those four years are the happiest I have ever been. She was completely devoted to me an...
A. 13 August 2007: It seems you need a little shaking: you are the one who needs to wake up. Just like you said, she has put you on a shelf to have you when she feels like it. You do not deserve this, nor the slagging off. And it is not your role to help her get ... (read in full...)
I don't know if my ex still has feelings for me. Any help?
Q. I don't know if my ex still has feelings for me. My girlfriend and I seperated in February. We had been together for four years and lived together for two. Those four years are the happiest I have ever been. She was completely devoted to me an...
A. 13 August 2007: It seems you need a little shaking: you are the one who needs to wake up. Just like you said, she has put you on a shelf to have you when she feels like it. You do not deserve this, nor the slagging off. And it is not your role to help her get ... (read in full...)
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