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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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She won't leave me alone after rejecting me.
Q. When she rejected me, she said she still wanted to be friends and wanted nothing to be awkward, but now i feel that was a lie. I tried for a friendship with her for a few months, and she didn't put any effort into it. I gave up a little more then a ...
A. 8 October 2007: For starters, this girl is no friend of yours. She is simply using you, and, sorry, you're the one letting her walk over you.
There is one thing you can do: tell her to her face that she only comes to you when she needs something, and that you... (read in full...)
Do you think it's wrong to look at porn and masturbate at age 13?
Q. I am 13 and I look at porn and masturbate. I have this urge to have sex, but know I shouldn't in case I regret it later. Do you think it's wrong to look at porn and masturbate?...
A. 8 October 2007: To be very, very honest, I would see a problem if you weren't interested in porn and masturbation at your age, particularly so if you don't want to have sex now. With time, you will outgrow these interests and will have real-life experiences.... (read in full...)
I was wondering is there any risk of catching something if someone gives me a blowjob?
Q. I am a young gay guy. I was wondering is there any risk of catching something if someone gives me a blowjob? And what if that person had given someone else a blowjob before me - would there be risk in that?...
A. 8 October 2007: Yes, you can catch a disease with oral sex. Martini said everything just fine. Just for illustration, See this link, for example: http://www.smartersex.org/abstinence/oral_sex.asp. Google "risk of oral sex" and you'll find a wealth of ... (read in full...)
The condom in his wallet changes. Is he cheating?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now, and it's been a very intense time - we've lived together, been on holiday, done a lot of things in a short time. In fact I had to move out because it was a little too much, although we're still ...
A. 8 October 2007: I'm with Doctor Phil. Since you're on the pill, he doesn't need that condom, UNLESS he's using it with someone else. Which is what he is doing. You don't have to feel bad about yourself for doubting him, because your doubts have full ... (read in full...)
I don't even know her new number. Are we finished?
Q. after being togather for a year we are now in a long distance relationship and it has been on the rocks for about 3 weeks now - we started with a calls everyday to every other day and now its hadly once in a week - and she told me he would give me ...
A. 8 October 2007: Painful as I know this will be, I'll be honest with you, because that's what you need. She is trying to say that the relationship is over. Think of it this way: if you had moved, wouldn't you give her your phone number? Wouldn't you be dying for ... (read in full...)
Should I just walk away from this friend from 20 yrs ago as he is married with kids?
Q. I recently met my best friend from high school after 20 years. I was his first love and he was really in love with me but I never knew about it. He is currently married with kids but says he is not happy in his marriage. Tables have turned around ...
A. 8 October 2007: Other agony aunts said that he is giving you the same old line: "I won't get a divorce because of my kids". It could very well be so. It could also be the other way: that he genuinely would divorce his wife if his children weren't at stake. ... (read in full...)
How much time and space does he need?
Q. SO, the 2 year on again,off again relationship I've been in is "on hold" for now... just when I decide I can take what he offers and wait on the rest to hopefully come in time, HE says (after some arguing when I pushed for more and he backed off and ...
A. 7 October 2007: You have described your relationship as "on and off". To me, that tells a lot more than any of his words. I'm afraid he has never been convinced that he wants to be with you. And now he asks for "space" and "time". As to "time", he's had two ... (read in full...)
Curvy v Skinny?
Q. Do guys like 'curvy' girls or 'skinny' girls ?...
A. 7 October 2007: It's a matter of personal preference. However, most men prefer women who are far "curvier" than the so-called beauty ideal.... (read in full...)
Will this man ever leave his wife for me?
Q. I too am married and dating a married man for more than 2 years. It all started with small conversations which grew into daily conversations. Eventually, our spouses found out (now they have become friends) however, we can't leave each other ...
A. 6 October 2007: In your post, you don't mention whether he has any children with his wife, or what sort of commitments he may have with his wife. Also, you don't mention when your spouses found out; I suppose they didn't find out at the same time. And, you don't ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he cum?
Q. My boyfriend and I are both seventeen and have been dating about 6 months, and we recently slept together. The first time he came after about 45 mins but the next time he didnt at all, am I doing something wrong or do all young guys get that???...
A. 6 October 2007: The usual problem for young guys (and others) is to ejaculate very soon. So, this isn't something that happens to everyone, but it does happen. Maybe he was too heavy into masturbation before, so his penis needs time to adjust to the different ... (read in full...)
I was raped by two men during my stay in this country. I keep getting flashbacks and feel scared of the future. Please help!
Q. I dont know what to do with myself. My mum made me go to V when i was 8 for spanish lessons. I was raped for 3 months by a man every night. I didnt really think about it before but when i was 11 it happened again for 2 months in Venezuela by ...
A. 6 October 2007: I'm with Doctor Pete. Try to get to the point where this awful events won't continue to rule your life.
My deepest sympathy for you.... (read in full...)
I love him but don't want to sacrifice my chances of having kids on him maybe never being ready for anything official. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 and 1/2 years, from day 1 we both knew it was serious and agreed this was it together forever etc. We have talked about marriage and babies etc. Thing is its always in the future and even though I have my ...
A. 6 October 2007: I think he will never give you what you want. I don't think he really wants a serious relationship with you, let alone kids. I wouldn't keep trying.... (read in full...)
"He loves me, he loves me not," I'm confused..
Q. hello when i met my boyfriend five months ago, we both agreed to have fun and see how it goes. i felt though that in the beginning he was unwilling to commit. he is extremely kind to me very thoughtful and very helpful. he never however told me ...
A. 6 October 2007: In short, sweetie, I think you'd waste your time if you kept seeing this guy. He lied to his girlfriend and you. He doesn't really want a relationship with any of you.
Go away and don't even look back.... (read in full...)
Should you wait until you're completely sick and tired of the relationship to break up, or should you do it sooner?
Q. Hey Aunts, i need help, me and my boyfriend have been together for about 19 months and lately i just feel so let down by him, and i dunno if it's because i'm on my period because it does happen sometimes. but i feel like i don't love him any...
A. 5 October 2007: I notice your confusion about this. I think you should wait until you are SURE you no longer want the relationship. This is different from waiting to be "sick and tired" of it. Apparently you think that your bad feelings about the relationship ... (read in full...)
Getting mixed signals from my online bloke
Q. I met a bloke on the net who seemed nice and we had 4 dates in about 1 year of talking online, the 1st 10 monts ago and the last 3 in the last 3 months, he told me he doesn't want a girlfriend but that he is really interested in going out with me ...
A. 5 October 2007: It will be odd for two native speakers of Spanish to talk in English, but I will do that for the sake of other agony aunts and uncles, who might want to give opinions, too.
For one thing, he doesn't want a serious relationship with you, but he's... (read in full...)
My daughter said my partner of 7 yrs tried to take a photo of her in the shower. He says he "walked in" texting me not realising someone else was there. I want to believe both!
Q. I have been with my partner for 7 years and thought evrything was great after being in a bad marriage. Tonight my 19year old daughter sent me a txt saying he tried to take a photo of her in the shower . When i challenged him about it he said he was ...
A. 5 October 2007: I would put together what all the posters have said, and I would add something myself. If you are to err, err on the safe side, which is, believe your daughter.
The first poster made an important point. Did you receive the message? If you didn... (read in full...)
It's been a couple of days since she said she'd call and no sign of her! Is she playing the "not wanting to seem too eager" game ?
Q. Hi, I met this awesome girl who works at at restaurant about 3 months ago. At that time I had a girlfriend who she met when we cam in to eat. I have now been single for a couple of months and decided to roust up the courage to ask for her number. ...
A. 5 October 2007: Man, as to "knowing for sure", what if you called her, she agreed to a date, and then she called you unexpectedly and said she won't be able to make it?
If you just can't hold yourself back, wait at least seven days before calling her. If she h... (read in full...)
It's been a couple of days since she said she'd call and no sign of her! Is she playing the "not wanting to seem too eager" game ?
Q. Hi, I met this awesome girl who works at at restaurant about 3 months ago. At that time I had a girlfriend who she met when we cam in to eat. I have now been single for a couple of months and decided to roust up the courage to ask for her number. ...
A. 4 October 2007: One more thing: it's been yet another day that she hasn't called. Did you notice?... (read in full...)
It's been a couple of days since she said she'd call and no sign of her! Is she playing the "not wanting to seem too eager" game ?
Q. Hi, I met this awesome girl who works at at restaurant about 3 months ago. At that time I had a girlfriend who she met when we cam in to eat. I have now been single for a couple of months and decided to roust up the courage to ask for her number. ...
A. 4 October 2007: Yep, I know this is driving you mad. This is why I would like you to take it easy and wait for her to call you.
You don't really know where you stand. You wish you could read her. But, very obviously you fancy her. When this happens, you can ... (read in full...)
It's been a couple of days since she said she'd call and no sign of her! Is she playing the "not wanting to seem too eager" game ?
Q. Hi, I met this awesome girl who works at at restaurant about 3 months ago. At that time I had a girlfriend who she met when we cam in to eat. I have now been single for a couple of months and decided to roust up the courage to ask for her number. ...
A. 4 October 2007: You're contradicting yourself here. You suppose she is very interested, but, at the same time, you say she is hard to read. This means you don't know where you stand. I suggest you err on the safe side, and let her do the calling. You have ... (read in full...)
Does this new guy really share my values or is he faking it. How do I tell?
Q. I just met this guy at university a week ago and we get along really well. We have the EXACT same tastes in music its unbelievable...so much that I wonder if hes lieing when he says he likes all of the same music as me. We have talked about all...
A. 3 October 2007: If I get you right, you're afraid that this guy will also be "too good to be true" and will hurt you again.
I can understand you are careful. However, don't let your fear ruin a relationship that could be good. You met him only a week ago. Th... (read in full...)
How can I tell if a guy is interested in me if he is shy - and how do I approach him? I'm 21 & have never had a bf!
Q. I have a crush on a guy but I can't tell if he likes me. I am very self conscious but none of my friends seem to take me seriously when I tell them I don't think guys like me. Everyone tells me I'm pretty and have a great personality but if that ...
A. 3 October 2007: I'm fully with Dr. Phil. This is what we males would like to happen every time. Particularly the shy guys.
I'm also with Dr. Phil in wishing you all the luck in the world!... (read in full...)
How do I break up a friends with benefits deal? Is that even a good idea?
Q. HELP!! Im currently dating this guy, and so far we've been having fun to the fullest! Yes we argue but we make up that same instant (nothing serious) , we aren't in a relationship, but were sexually intimate. So u can call it a friends with benefits ...
A. 3 October 2007: I'm with Fairy Lu. This is a defense mechanism, really. You want more from him, are afraid that he won't give it to you, and you break the relationship before he does, so you spare yourself the pain of being rejected.... (read in full...)
Can I lose my virginity with a sex toy?
Q. can i lose my virginity with a sex toy? i mean can i break my hymen with a sex toy and then it ll be easy for my husband pls help ?...
A. 3 October 2007: I'm with gcockerham. Your hymen would be broken, but you'd still be a virgin.
It seems you are concerned about the "breaking" of the hymen. I have found that many girls are. Perhaps a woman can advise you better in this regard.... (read in full...)
Why can't I take the easy way out?
Q. My husband and I have lived apart for four years, but I am on the point of moving house long distance to be with him again. The problem is that I have gotten to know a man I work with and, quite embarrassingly, I think about him all the time. I ...
A. 3 October 2007: You don't say why you've been away from your husband these four years, and the reason could be important to give you advice. But, I will try to give you the best advice I can.
It seems to me that you don't love your husband anymore and don't re... (read in full...)
I don't find traditionaly beautiful women attractive. Whats so wrong with that?
Q. I am a college student in a long term relationship with a beautiful girl... we've been together for around 4 years now. I would like some feedback for a situation that so far I have found unique to me. I have had other girlfriends before her but s...
A. 2 October 2007: What's the problem?... (read in full...)
He is so damaged from a past relationship. Should I give it one more try or move on?
Q. I have been dating this guy on and off for a year. He is wonderful and caring. The only problem is he does not trust me and we are always arguing. He was in a terrible relationship and is pessimistic about love. He thinks I am going to do the ...
A. 2 October 2007: If you still feel like trying, make sure he understands this is the last chance he will get. Not only does he need to understand that you're a different person, not the one who caused him pain; he also needs to understand that he's wasting his ... (read in full...)
Why does he need so much "space", now?
Q. I have a tricky situation and feel tired of going to friends about it, I need opinions and input from people outside the situation. I have been with my boyfriend for almost eight years. About five of them were long distance, him in Sweden, me in...
A. 2 October 2007: Dear Lost, I understand your need to go beyond your friends and bring this issue to us. This is why we are all here. Thanks for your confidence.
His asking for "space" seems a bad sign. It usually means that people want to break up in a "gentl... (read in full...)
Anonymously received photos of me giving oral to my bf in a public place. We're worried...
Q. ok, this is a little embarassing im sorry. me and my boyfriend went on a day trip recently.when we arrived we parked the car in a quiet side street.we started kissing an one thing lead to another (i gave him oral sex) but there was nobodya around so ...
A. 2 October 2007: I'm with Deejuliet. Maybe you're not the first couple to have the idea of oral sex in that area, and the neighbors have found a very effective way to persuade people not to try again.... (read in full...)
Am I investing too much in this thing with her?
Q. Dear ....., Please help me with my problem. I am a44 year old man in a dilemma. Just before Christmas last year my then relationship was ended. She had ended it numerous times in as many weeks, one day she would tell me she loved me...
A. 2 October 2007: First of all, you are right in feeling guilty about the husband. No matter what problems he and the salsa girl have in their relationship, he does not deserve the cheating. He has done you no harm, but you are harming him, even if he doesn't know. ... (read in full...)
Do you think he loves me or not?
Q. I just moved to new york to live with my fiance three months ago (we have been engaged since december). We haven't set a date yet. Anyway, I'm working part time jobs while looking for a real estate job, and haven't found any luck. Im not that happy ...
A. 2 October 2007: Let's see this from a different angle: your fiancé's. His fiancée comes to New York to live with him, but, after three months, she wants to go back to Colorado to stay with her family, start a career, and be independent. Her reason is, she isn't ... (read in full...)
Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
Q. Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
A. 2 October 2007: You are so right, Eddie. When we, agony aunts and uncles, give an opinion, we should also tell the asker what s/he got into her/himself. Not that we won't help her/him, but, we will tell the truth.
This article raises a good point. We should t... (read in full...)
Do I wait for her to find herself?
Q. I spilt with my gf of 5 years about 5 weeks ago. We split because she started saying that she felt that she needed to go travelling on her own and find her self as it were. I then said fine and broke up with her. I love her still and miss her ...
A. 1 October 2007: You should cut her from your life. That's what she said she wanted when she broke up with you after five years.
Maybe she loves you too, but, at the very least, she is having doubts about the relationship. You don't usually dump someone you love... (read in full...)
He wants us to swing! I don't think I can take this change in him! Help!
Q. Hello! My Husband has been going through something for about a month now. We are married 7 years now and have 2 children a 5 year old and 11/2 year old. A month ago he told me I wasn't attractive to him anymore. So the past month I have been wor...
A. 1 October 2007: I think he knows you're not into swinging and would not try it, so he gives you this sugar-coated poisoned apple that will let him keep the marriage AND see other women, while you stay at home and not see other men. It's a win-win situation for ... (read in full...)
Do I wait for him, or close this chapter of my life?
Q. We have know one another for 8 years and been on and off. He has wanted a relationship from me for the past 3-4 years and i have always said no. Our friendship has always been more of a freindship. He has started seeing someone, the day he told...
A. 1 October 2007: Apparently now he is wondering whether he should stay with this new girl, or he should continue to try his chances with you.
And, you're wondering whether you should still try with him, or let him go.
This isn't a real change from the situati... (read in full...)
How can I get my guy to accept my financial help to move to where I am?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship, and my boyfriend lives 500 miles away with family. Neither of us have cars, and we both want him to move in with me, where I live now. The town he lives in is small, and he has been unable to find work there ...
A. 1 October 2007: Sorry, I didn't have a clue as to the prices of cars in the United States. I don't live there :-). I suggested this as a clunker could cost you something like 700 US in the Latin American country where I live. I figured that the cost of airfare ... (read in full...)
How can I get my guy to accept my financial help to move to where I am?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship, and my boyfriend lives 500 miles away with family. Neither of us have cars, and we both want him to move in with me, where I live now. The town he lives in is small, and he has been unable to find work there ...
A. 1 October 2007: I find it very reasonable that you want to help him improve his situation. It's also very caring. And, his coming to live with you would help the relationship, as you two would be together.
His answer seems right, but, at the same time, it could... (read in full...)
Male arousal..how easy is it for the guy? Any thoughts?
Q. Just a question about male arousal. I've heard many times that guys become aroused very easily, easier than girls anyway, and I was just wondering to what extent. I was told that things like being touched in the wrong place or just seeing a re...
A. 1 October 2007: They have told you the truth.... (read in full...)
Could he want to be more than just a friend?
Q. I have this friend who I really like more then a friend. But I'm not sure if he feels the same way and I don't wnat to tell him how I feel until im sure he feels the same way. Lately hes started calling me affectionate names like 'sweetie' and st...
A. 1 October 2007: I think there are good chances of his liking you as much more than a friend. Let's see: he learns you broke up with your boyfriend, and then he becomes closer to you, and says things that are highly suggestive of interest, such as "any guy would ... (read in full...)
Will it hurt my boys not to have a male influence in their lives?
Q. Curiosity question here. I am currently separated from my husband and seriously considering divorce. Of course at this time in my life I feel like I don't ever want another man in for life for as long as I live. Every experience I've EVER had ...
A. 30 September 2007: Just wanted to add something. I'm sorry to differ with L.O.S.E.R. Older brother isn't necessarily a good role model for younger brother. If you followed this line of action, older brother would need to burn stages and become a man before he ... (read in full...)
Will it hurt my boys not to have a male influence in their lives?
Q. Curiosity question here. I am currently separated from my husband and seriously considering divorce. Of course at this time in my life I feel like I don't ever want another man in for life for as long as I live. Every experience I've EVER had ...
A. 29 September 2007: My opinion is that children need both role models, male and female, and, in addition, they need a relationship model: an example of how a couple functions. Of course, sometimes it's best not to have a role model (male or female) if that "model" is ... (read in full...)
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