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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Will it hurt my boys not to have a male influence in their lives?
Q. Curiosity question here. I am currently separated from my husband and seriously considering divorce. Of course at this time in my life I feel like I don't ever want another man in for life for as long as I live. Every experience I've EVER had ...
A. 30 September 2007: Just wanted to add something. I'm sorry to differ with L.O.S.E.R. Older brother isn't necessarily a good role model for younger brother. If you followed this line of action, older brother would need to burn stages and become a man before he ... (read in full...)
Will it hurt my boys not to have a male influence in their lives?
Q. Curiosity question here. I am currently separated from my husband and seriously considering divorce. Of course at this time in my life I feel like I don't ever want another man in for life for as long as I live. Every experience I've EVER had ...
A. 29 September 2007: My opinion is that children need both role models, male and female, and, in addition, they need a relationship model: an example of how a couple functions. Of course, sometimes it's best not to have a role model (male or female) if that "model" is ... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with spending the night with your best friend in the world?
Q. Is it so wrong for 2 best friends who have known each other all their lives to sleep in the same bed and have a cuddle just somehting like 1 night a week at the most? Because me and my best friend do this and it is only fore a cuddle and to sleep ...
A. 28 September 2007: You said yourself that you have loved this girl for years but have never told her. Do you think that is what people call friendship? She is a friend to you, but, you don't see her as a friend. You are simply afraid of taking things further, ... (read in full...)
After we fooled around, he became too busy to do anything! He said it's not me. But is he bullsh*tting me?
Q. Alright, here we go. Well, I met this guy a couple months ago...we met through a mutual friend. Anyways, we really hit it off, had a couple dates, fooled around a little bit (a LITTLE bit), and talked all the time. Now, things have changed. Every ti...
A. 28 September 2007: My dear Masq, he is bullshitting you. Check this: if you were really, really interested in someone, would you not find a gap in your busy schedule to be with him? Wouldn't you fear losing this guy because you're too busy? Apparently, he does not ... (read in full...)
He's the best bf I've dated, but I can't get over our 2 year age gap!
Q. Dear Cupid i have a boyfriend who is 2 years younger then me. im not really comfortable with that age gap but he always make sure we don't let that come between us. out of all the guys i'v dated, he tops them all and he always remains me of his...
A. 28 September 2007: Two years of difference is nothing. Just don't worry about it.... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 28 September 2007: One improvement that might help the moderators, too, would be to add an option to show how many other agony aunts and uncles agree with a post. Often a post does not get many answers, probably because the agony aunts and uncles think everything has ... (read in full...)
Love produces love? Can one love be enough for both?
Q. Is there any true in the motto that Love always produces love? Can One's love(honest and indisputable one) produce love to other side(be it male or female) even if there exist no one? What you think, is it worth or futile endevour being with someone ...
A. 28 September 2007: As often, I agree with Frank.
I would also like you to notice that there are innumerable stories of one party loving the other and not being loved in return. So, if, in your particular case, you are expecting that
a) someone will get to love... (read in full...)
I met this guy who had not long come out of a serious relationship. We got on quite well, but now he's ignoring me!!
Q. Guys feel free to give me your opinion..please! I met this guy who had not long come out of a serious relationship, we really liked eachother and met up a few times. He text me all the time, called late at night, always wanted to hug me/ see me and ...
A. 28 September 2007: There are two possibilities to this, I guess:
1) It seems that he is finally doing what he should have done from the very beginning. In my opinion, before you make a move, you need to check what you can realistically offer that person, and tell... (read in full...)
Was I just mistaking friendliness with romance?
Q. Okay I've never had this problem because I've never had a guy make me as nervous as this one. He works in the same building as I, I started to notice him because he's always around to open the door, help, or just say hi but I dont even know his name ...
A. 28 September 2007: Well, at least you know what to do now, and you're making the right, informed decision. Good for you.... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 5 years, has he avoided to tell his parents because he's ashamed of me? We're from different cultures.
Q. I am a white female who has been dating an asian guy for 5 years since I was 16, we met in college and I love him very much. However he still has not told his parents about me I always ask and he says he will tell them but he still hasnt, and im ...
A. 25 September 2007: No matter what culture you belong to, if you love someone, you have to give her the treatment she deserves. Five years is a long time. I wonder if his family really doesn't know about you.... (read in full...)
Does the colour of hair have an impact on a girl picking a guy for a boyfriend?
Q. does the colour of hair have an impact on a girl picking a guy for a boyfriend?. I have ginger hair and iv never had a gf. i know im not as confindent with girls as some of my friends are. ...
A. 25 September 2007: I just can't be in more agreement with Frank. Have you ever heard about bald men who are also womanizers?... (read in full...)
How do I let this guy down gently?
Q. Here's my situation. We've been a couple for one week, and already my boyfriend is planning our marriage! First date, he transitioned from "I'm so dating into the right family" to "I'm so marrying into the right family." At first I thought I heard ...
A. 24 September 2007: Sometimes we men are stupid, but not mean (I know that sometimes it's difficult to see the difference, but there is a difference). I assume that your boyfriend is as young as you are, so perhaps you are his first true love and he can't contain ... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals and don't know what to do!
Q. My girlfriend and I broke up after 5 years together. We lived together for 2 of the last years. I moved out to california and she was all excited to come out too (we were both gonna college there) Then out of nowhere, she dumps me "cause she ...
A. 24 September 2007: P.S.: Last time I checked there were plenty of gorgeous girls in California. Maybe you can get lucky and find some of them who will love you?... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals and don't know what to do!
Q. My girlfriend and I broke up after 5 years together. We lived together for 2 of the last years. I moved out to california and she was all excited to come out too (we were both gonna college there) Then out of nowhere, she dumps me "cause she ...
A. 24 September 2007: No woman ever dumps you out of the blue, or nowhere. What happens is that we males fail to perceive the signals. And, we fail at this because the signals are always given as hints, the more encrypted the better.
I don't think any of us males is... (read in full...)
Am I a Freak or is this normal?
Q. hey, im the type of guy who finds it awkward getting close to people and my friends tink im gay coz i dnt react well to hugs off girls nd stuff im not gay i just dnt feel like huging people ..am i a freak or is this normal? ...
A. 24 September 2007: It's normal, man. I think some people call it shyness. Don't worry.... (read in full...)
My racist grandmother says things just to annoy my latino husband and I! What should I do?
Q. I don't know how to handle my grandmother. She says things just to annoy my husband and I. For example, she knows that it disgusts and annoys us when she says racist things and calls people things such as the "n" word, etc. (She and most of the ...
A. 24 September 2007: I'm Latino, so I'm biased against your granny. But, I think I can give you a short, effective way to cope with her. Why don't you send her to hell? Why do you have to tolerate her crap? If she doesn't like your husband or your friends, why do ... (read in full...)
I preformed oral on her but she never wanted to return the favour. Do you think thats fair?
Q. hi im a 39 year old man im very sexual, i used to eat out my ex girlfreind all the time and she enjoyed it. but every time i would ask her for a blojob she would get upset,do you think this is fair of her? were no longer going out....
A. 24 September 2007: I'm not sure whether you can talk about this being "fair". Apparently, however, you performed the oral expecting her to "be fair" and perform on you, too. That is wrong. I wonder if you are not longer going out due to her not performing oral.... (read in full...)
Does she want me or what I have?
Q. Do girls need material proof for love? I have been with a girl almost 5 months. At the beginning everything was going great. I think she likes me enormously and I her. Now things have started to get difficult. She calls me, we go out or something ...
A. 24 September 2007: If I got you right, what you're saying here is that your girl, who has always had frequent sex with you, moved from very frequent sex to no sex, and then hinted she wanted a dress. You wonder whether there is a connection between no sex and the ... (read in full...)
He has been on again, off again and I cant figure out what he feels!
Q. Ok I will try and keep this as short as poss. I was single for 3 years, mainly because I was going through a really hard time mainly due to Court case I was sexual abuse for 5 years as a child and I finally took it to court 20 years later. ...
A. 24 September 2007: Apparently you were not the only one who was feeling love, but, you need him to be consistent. If he's been through a lot, he should be all the more careful with the good person he has in life. It's not only his needs that matter; yours matter, ... (read in full...)
She wants a cooling off period after just a couple of days, do you think thats an excuse?
Q. I have a been going out with my girl friend for just a few days and we both like each other very much and we have falling in love. My girl friend thinks we need a cooling of period because we are rushing into things too soon.Is she right or is in a...
A. 24 September 2007: We would need more information. Maybe you do want things to happen too quickly. But, in my experience, whenever the words "space" "cool off" or "break" come out of a girl's mouth, it's a bad sign.
I wonder what she means by "cooling off". B... (read in full...)
He said he isnt ready for a relationship. Do you think that might change?
Q. I really like this one guy, and he really likes me, too. We went out over the weekend. He showed up with surprise gifts, which was really sweet. We previously planned some things to do, but we ended up just staying in my room chatting away cuddled ...
A. 24 September 2007: Sweetie, you naturally love the attention and the treatment this man gave you. The weekend seems a very romantic and caring one. So, I understand your feelings for him. You wish you had a relationship with him, don't you?
I hate to give you... (read in full...)
I broke up with him and I am glad. Is it ok to feel this way?
Q. ive recently split with my boyfriend. we werent together long and he didnt take it very well. he dragged out the whole thing for a wek before he would let it lie. anyway im glad i did it. i dont want a boyfriend. i want to have fun and i wasnt ha...
A. 24 September 2007: If you were not in love with him, then you did the right thing, for you and him. You are free to pursue your interests, and he is free to find someone else, too. You mention that he didn't take it well. It would have been much worse for him if ... (read in full...)
I think that my bf may have been in a relationship w/ his best friend - I don't want to share his love!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 8 months now,although i have known this man for 9 years.I am very confused,i think he may be in love with his best friend(m).His friend is a single gay guy,who i am certain is in love with him. Before we started ...
A. 24 September 2007: I'm sorry it has taken me so long to answer. I hope I can be of help to you.
First, you're not damaged, and it's not true that no one is ever going to love you again. These are thoughts we have when we don't feel love and appreciated; we feel ... (read in full...)
Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?
Q. Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?? During High School she had sex with 3 guys. 2 of them were boyfriends and one was a friend who she had a crush on. She had sex a total of 4 times in high school. A few weeks be...
A. 22 September 2007: Houston, you mention that she had this one night stand a few weeks before she started dating you, and five years before she married you. If this is the situation, then I need to go back to my original thought. I don't think you should worry about ... (read in full...)
Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?
Q. Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?? During High School she had sex with 3 guys. 2 of them were boyfriends and one was a friend who she had a crush on. She had sex a total of 4 times in high school. A few weeks be...
A. 21 September 2007: Houston, what I see here is that your question wasn't really whether your wife was overly promiscuous, but whether she did the right thing in not telling you that she had had a one night stand with someone. As you very honestly say, her sleeping ... (read in full...)
My online guy doesn't seem interested. Has he found somebody else??
Q. Hi dear aunts (and uncles)! I have a new question for you. I´ve become a member of one of those dating sites, specific for people that are looking for brazilian partners. I´ve done some research and add up a couple of guys and start chatting...
A. 21 September 2007: It's kind of difficult to figure out what this guy might be thinking, but, from the information you give, I would say he is not that interested. If he were, he would be contacting you all the time and he would have set up a meeting.
I suspect ... (read in full...)
I know I can be her ideal guy but what can I do to get her to hook up with me?
Q. Dear, cupid i'm so confused please help me. There's this girl that i'm crazy about. we met about 5 years ago. we r the best friends she knows how i feel about her. I know deep down she feels the same i'm so convinced that we where made 4 each other. ...
A. 20 September 2007: In short: give up.... (read in full...)
I know I can be her ideal guy but what can I do to get her to hook up with me?
Q. Dear, cupid i'm so confused please help me. There's this girl that i'm crazy about. we met about 5 years ago. we r the best friends she knows how i feel about her. I know deep down she feels the same i'm so convinced that we where made 4 each other. ...
A. 20 September 2007: My advice is, give up on her as a lover. Women are far quicker than men in assessing who is relationship material. All your good qualities, she noticed long before you knew they existed. So, she knows you're good, but you're not the man she ... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals. Does my ex want me back or not?
Q. HEy all, My ex broke up with me before the summer, we had been together for nearly 3 months, during that time we never had sex. I am still a virgin and am nervous about the issue and find it hard to get over expectations ,especially bein...
A. 20 September 2007: What you expect from this relationship is very much different from what she expects. You want a commited relationship and she wants a sex buddy. I'm afraid this won't work out for you, or her.
After a little while of "fun", you will ask for more... (read in full...)
I think that my bf may have been in a relationship w/ his best friend - I don't want to share his love!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 8 months now,although i have known this man for 9 years.I am very confused,i think he may be in love with his best friend(m).His friend is a single gay guy,who i am certain is in love with him. Before we started ...
A. 19 September 2007: First things first: I doubt anyone would consider you selfish for not wanting to share a person's love. I understand that this wish for exclusivity is one of the traits of true love between the members of a couple.
Your post suggests that you... (read in full...)
Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?
Q. Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?? During High School she had sex with 3 guys. 2 of them were boyfriends and one was a friend who she had a crush on. She had sex a total of 4 times in high school. A few weeks be...
A. 19 September 2007: There are some things in life you should never waste a minute thinking about, and this woman's sex life is one of them. I find no fault in her.
Are you sure this is what troubles you? Maybe you're unsure for another reason?... (read in full...)
Could this be the "marriage question" in disguise? I was a bit taken aback...
Q. Could this be the 'marriage question' in disguise? My boyfriend whom I have been with for a year now with a lot of ups and downs, told me, over dinner: 'Do you know that you are my love? Our relationship has changed drastically and I now fe...
A. 15 September 2007: I'm with don't play nice. At the very least, he told you he is serious about this. And, he thinks you are, too.... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend for a stupid reason. Now I'm worried what his family and friends will think?
Q. i recently broke up with my boyfriend because of something really stupid that i did. it was an idiotic and really strange thing to do and i can accept that he will never want to be with me again but the thought of him telling all of his family and ...
A. 15 September 2007: I understand better now. Yet, there is no way to prevent him from telling people, I guess. I think you'll have to accept whatever comes. Sorry.... (read in full...)
Was I just mistaking friendliness with romance?
Q. Okay I've never had this problem because I've never had a guy make me as nervous as this one. He works in the same building as I, I started to notice him because he's always around to open the door, help, or just say hi but I dont even know his name ...
A. 15 September 2007: Maybe. See if there are any changes in his behavior. If he shows interest, you were not mistaken; if he can't treat you the way he used to, then you were. However, I would like you to think a bit about the reason of your question. You w... (read in full...)
Married for all the wrong reasons. Met a soul mate in someone else. Pls help.
Q. Married for all the wrong reasons. Met my soulmate in someone else. Please help....
A. 15 September 2007: Can you elaborate?... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him to make his mind up that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me OR should I just forget about him and try to RE-do my life.
Q. I am 29 yo and I feel like my life is not complete or that it has no meaning. I am not happy most of the time. My relationship with my b/f is not stable and we are also separated by hundrends of miles. I am not happy with my career, don't like ...
A. 15 September 2007: It seems to me that I won't help you if I just answer your question, instead of trying to see the big picture. As you said, you're unhappy with your life, which includes being unhappy with your boyfriend, too. What you really need is the cour... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend for a stupid reason. Now I'm worried what his family and friends will think?
Q. i recently broke up with my boyfriend because of something really stupid that i did. it was an idiotic and really strange thing to do and i can accept that he will never want to be with me again but the thought of him telling all of his family and ...
A. 15 September 2007: If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. If you can accept his never wanting to be with you, which is the hardest part, why should you worry about what his family and friends will say about you?... (read in full...)
I'm bored of having a normal life. I want to move to an impoverished country and no longer be a slave to money!
Q. hi, dont know if this is the usual thing? im running away from my life, theres nothing wrong with it, i have a job, home, friends and family. but i'm bored of having a normal life. i already know everything thats going to happen, work, morgage, m...
A. 15 September 2007: I've heard the same complaint from many foreigners who come into the impoverished country where I live. Some do find a meaning to life here; some don't. Some of you hate the fact that things DON'T work the way they do in your countries, and rush ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my long distance lover. Why hasn't he contacted me today, he usually does?
Q. My bf and I are in a long distance relationships, so we talk on the phone a lot, he calls me on the mornings, noon , and at night...However, today, I spent the whole morning, noon and night calling him and text messaging him. He did not answer nor ...
A. 15 September 2007: If it's only today that he hasn't talked to you and responded to your messages, yes, you are over-reacting.... (read in full...)
We split and she doesn't keep in touch. Should I persue her?
Q. I was with my girlfriend for eight years I am five years older....when we first got together she was 15 and I was 20. She was a virgin and I never slept with her, for four years I was faithful, but when I moved to Georgia I cheated on her. She neve...
A. 9 September 2007: Leave her alone and move on. Pay attention to this: she feels the break up is right. This is all you need to know. She doesn't hate you, but, the relationship is over.
In my opinion, your relationship was already in trouble before you told her... (read in full...)
I am not feeling appreciated in my relationship.
Q. I've been in a relationship for a few months. At the beginning, it was very exciting. The last several weeks, it's become mundane. She told her friend that she thinks she may need someone more exciting. And that maybe it'll just take time for me to ...
A. 8 September 2007: You should never ignore the signs of a problem. And, I don't think relationship problems disappear if you just leave them unattended. If you're doing all of the chasing, my advice is that you talk to her and let her know how you feel. Tell her ... (read in full...)
Does he still have feelings for me?
Q. About three months ago i split up from my first proper bf, we had been together for about a year and generally had a really good relationship. I had to split up with him because i was really depressed at the time because i was being bullied ...
A. 8 September 2007: Honestly, I couldn't tell whether he still has feelings for you. Obviously he was very hurt. If you still love him, maybe you should tell this openly and see what turns out. However, I'm afraid the odds are against you. I don't mean to be hurtf... (read in full...)
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