Block him or fight for him?
Q. I discovered my boyfriend was cheating on me even after he knew my past of being cheated on and how badly hurt I was. I was so surprised because he earned my trust for over a year and a half before we even did anything. I really trusted him because ...
A. 17 October 2013: I'm in agreement with Honeypie; well done OP! Staying No Contact is vital. You're on the right path, you WILL get over this. Give yourself time to get over this, and be patient and compassionate to yourself. As you know, you're not alone x ... (read in full...)
My friend has a perfect girlfriend yet cheated several times. He needs advice what to do now.
Q. One of my best friends is with a girl and has been since Feb. The girl went away travelling over the summer but they stayed together, despite only being together a few months at this point. Anyway my best mate fell for a girl at work, whilst his gf ...
A. 12 October 2013: Anonymous female, the website isn't about catching people out at all, but I think that aunts and uncles should be forewarned if a post is fake or misrepresentative before spending precious time responding, don't you agree?
If you look carefull... (read in full...)
My friend has a perfect girlfriend yet cheated several times. He needs advice what to do now.
Q. One of my best friends is with a girl and has been since Feb. The girl went away travelling over the summer but they stayed together, despite only being together a few months at this point. Anyway my best mate fell for a girl at work, whilst his gf ...
A. 12 October 2013: Thanks Honeypie ;)
OP, I am assuming you are in fact the girl at the office. In that case, you have my sympathies because you clearly hoped he'd ditch his GF when she got back. He didn't, but he's still willing to see and have sex with you. Tha... (read in full...)
My friend has a perfect girlfriend yet cheated several times. He needs advice what to do now.
Q. One of my best friends is with a girl and has been since Feb. The girl went away travelling over the summer but they stayed together, despite only being together a few months at this point. Anyway my best mate fell for a girl at work, whilst his gf ...
A. 12 October 2013: We got a post from a young woman who is the exact position as your friend's other girl:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ive-been-involved-with-a-guy-from-work.html
She seems very tenacious, isn't she?!... (read in full...)
I don't like it and insinutated he should find a new 'soul mate'
Q. My boyfriend lately has been saying he wants to get more serious, I'm his soulmate etc. We've been together a year and a half. The other night we were really drunk and he entered me from behind. It really hurt and I hated it. But I always told him ...
A. 12 October 2013: I think you made a mistake letting him to this when it's something you have said all along that you don't like. But you were very drunk and these things do happen. It doesn't mean you have to do it again, even with lube and preparation. If you don't ... (read in full...)
I love him but he's trying to change me. Do I give up the relationship?
Q. Dear Cupid I Will Try And Simplify My Problem, Really Hope You Can Help. I am originally a Muslim girl but really deep in my heart I am (a deist-theist-agnostic)whatever you wanna call me I am not really bothered, all I know is that I b...
A. 9 October 2013: Hi OP.
It seems you went to great lengths to remove yourself from the confines of a religion you don't agree with, only to find yourself back at square one with a man who's trying to mould you into exactly what you don't want to be.
I think... (read in full...)
Block him or fight for him?
Q. I discovered my boyfriend was cheating on me even after he knew my past of being cheated on and how badly hurt I was. I was so surprised because he earned my trust for over a year and a half before we even did anything. I really trusted him because ...
A. 9 October 2013: I just wrote loads then went to search for a link and my essay disappeared!
Anyway here's the link: http://w... (read in full...)
Has anyone's ex come back after they've appeared to have moved on?
Q. has anyone's ex come back after they've appeared to have moved on? kinda like "if its meant to be it will be" type thing? my ex jumped into another relationship only a couple months after he walked away from our relationship. we were very seriou...
A. 8 October 2013: To be honest I have had an ex reappear but thankfully enough time had passed that I knew it would be unhealthy to try to rekindle anything.
Sadly if it was meant to be, your ex would not have walked away and then started a new relation... (read in full...)
I want a career that I enjoy but doesn't require years of schooling
Q. I am currentlly attending college for radioailgy. I love the medical field but I really hate science and math so im considering changing my major. I also love criminal justice, or something in the psychology field, but Im really stumped, I dont know ...
A. 8 October 2013: Psychology will involve quite a lot of maths (statistics) - at least it did in the one year module I did as part of my degree!
I don't know what it's like in the US, but in the UK any allied health professions like radiography don't pay that wel... (read in full...)
Thoughts on writing to your ex?
Q. Is it a good idea to write a letter to your ex? I've been doing the no contact rule, but it has been really hard. I've been thinking about writing a letter to let her know how I feel and how much I am hurting. Will I be making a fool of myself by ...
A. 8 October 2013: I'm in total agreement with Eyes, Aunty Babbit and C.Grant - writing the letter can be very therapeutic. In fact, write as many as you like, or better still, start writing a journal and let it all out. But don't send anything to your ex. It really ... (read in full...)
Why are dumpers allowed to gloat and be vindictive?
Q. I got dumped by a complete jerk over a year ago. He dumped me by text because he "wanted to be single". I never cheated or anything. He treated me bad so I was glad. I never contacted him ever again and deleted his number. Months and months later he...
A. 8 October 2013: It's not ok. My point is, if they are no longer In your life it makes no difference. They can be as psycho as they like, but you don't have to know what they do/ say, and therefore it doesn't affect you. No more games like arranging a date just so ... (read in full...)
My FWB guy has dropped off the radar. What should I do?
Q. I had a fwb for the past 2 months. We've gotten together about 3 times and the sex was great, he also said he enjoyed it very much. I even began liking this guy a lot, possibly falling in love. Now all of a sudden, he wont respond to my calls or ...
A. 7 October 2013: Hi OP, I agree the odds aren't in your favour. To be honest, they never really are in FWB situations. Do not take it personally.
The good news is that it's infatuation that you feel rather than love, because falling in love after 3 hook-ups... (read in full...)
Why are dumpers allowed to gloat and be vindictive?
Q. I got dumped by a complete jerk over a year ago. He dumped me by text because he "wanted to be single". I never cheated or anything. He treated me bad so I was glad. I never contacted him ever again and deleted his number. Months and months later he...
A. 7 October 2013: Friend of a friend is a bad scenario because it's much harder to cut them off completely. That's what you have to do - cut them off - so you don't even have to witness any assclown behaviour. ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend really want me, or a relationship with anyone good looking enough?
Q. I found out this weekend that my boyfriend used a pick up artist to help with getting girls who were a 10 instead of a 7 as he puts it. I have also seen a message on his phone where he sent a message to his best mate with a picture of me and asked ...
A. 7 October 2013: Why did you feel you had to look at his phone? What was going on?
OP, if you don't feel he's grown up at age 26, please don't accept his proposal! Don't feel so grateful for his attention that you ignore your gut instincts about this guy.
You ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my married stepbrother and now feel absolutely sick!
Q. I’m incredibly confused and ashamed of what I did the other night. When I was 10 my mother got remarried and along with her new marriage came my stepbrother who is 2 years older than I am. Despite the fact that I wasn’t too happy about the whole ...
A. 4 October 2013: Male anonymous, you say that the OP should atone for her behaviour. Atone means to make amends. How can she possibly make amends, other than not have sex with her step brother again... and I don't know if you noticed in her post, but that sounds ... (read in full...)
He's always back and forth on how he feels about me. How should I handle this?
Q. Any advice appreciated! I met a guy about 6 weeks ago on a night out. He was really into me, asked for my number and was texting a lot. It came out that he hadn't long been dumped so I kept my distance but started to like him through spending time ...
A. 4 October 2013: He's really blowing hot and cold, which is a red flag. I don't think he's ready to be in a relationship to be honest.
If you're already feeling worn out by his inconistent behaviour, I'd question whether it's worth continuing dating this guy. I'm... (read in full...)
I had sex with my married stepbrother and now feel absolutely sick!
Q. I’m incredibly confused and ashamed of what I did the other night. When I was 10 my mother got remarried and along with her new marriage came my stepbrother who is 2 years older than I am. Despite the fact that I wasn’t too happy about the whole ...
A. 3 October 2013: Hi OP, yes you did something very wrong but I feel you're punishing yourself enough. You say you almost want to die - if those feelings get worse, please seek urgent help.
Don't place the blame all on yourself. You are equally responsi... (read in full...)
Do women really want on FWB relationships?
Q. someone just told me the new "in" thing was fwb. The lady i was talking to said even women wanted this now. Why? is because men were I think she meant men were not that nice. I know per my recent post I think I have become that..but i do not ...
A. 3 October 2013: It is not what a LOT of women want. I would say that there are SOME women who do want FWB - though I personally don't know a single woman who does.
I think the majority are women like you who end up in that situation when it's not what they int... (read in full...)
Roman Catholic marrying an Atheist
Q. My girlfriend believes in god; I do not. We’ve always been very respectful of our respective beliefs. We were both baptised as Roman Catholics and raised in Roman Catholic families. As a Roman Catholic woman, you have a responsibility t...
A. 3 October 2013: I'm a lapsed Catholic/ non believer. I'm not a parent but I'm an aunt to many nieces and nephews of mixed marriages (huge Catholic family!).
My siblings are not as fervent RCs as your girlfriend, and so I suppose it hasn't been such an issue, b... (read in full...)
Its been 4 years and I don't think I'm over my ex. We go to the same functions. Should I not go?
Q. Last night I bumped into my ex at a function. I am likely to have to see him fairly regularly at these events and I want to go because it's the only place I see a lot of acquaintances but it was difficult. I was dating this guy for two and a ha...
A. 2 October 2013: I'm glad that what I wrote helped.
Three months is still early stages, even if it was a short relationship. Especially if you felt such a strong connection. I can see how the 4 year thing in the title was misleading.
If I were you, I'd gi... (read in full...)
I have to dump my boyfriend... not sure how to move on. :(
Q. I'm needing to "officially" end my 3 year relationship. We're both in our early 30's. I love him but he isn't good for me any longer. He has emotional abandonment issues so every so often he goes "missing" for days or weeks and then comes back like ...
A. 2 October 2013: OP, you will hurt a lot less once you've stepped away from this very unhappy situation. Yes you will miss him and grieve the relationship for a while, but then you'll come to realise that you can have a much happier life without him.
You'r... (read in full...)
Why are dumpers allowed to gloat and be vindictive?
Q. I got dumped by a complete jerk over a year ago. He dumped me by text because he "wanted to be single". I never cheated or anything. He treated me bad so I was glad. I never contacted him ever again and deleted his number. Months and months later he...
A. 2 October 2013: Where are you finding these guys? ... (read in full...)
Married man got caught. Would he lie to me about this?
Q. Are there any reasons why a married man would lie to his mistress about getting caught by his wife? NO judgements please........ He was caught over the weekend and told me they were having a major fight and that he would get in touch with me. I d...
A. 1 October 2013: I'm not a man, nor married, but I'd say this: if he can lie to his wife (throughout the duration of your affair), then of course he could be lying to you.
The reason (assuming he's lying) could be a way for him to get out of a situation that he ... (read in full...)
Its been 4 years and I don't think I'm over my ex. We go to the same functions. Should I not go?
Q. Last night I bumped into my ex at a function. I am likely to have to see him fairly regularly at these events and I want to go because it's the only place I see a lot of acquaintances but it was difficult. I was dating this guy for two and a ha...
A. 1 October 2013: Hi OP, he might have suggested meeting up in order to clear the air so he doesn't feel so awkward next time you're at the same social event. Is that something you could handle? Maybe he feels so guilty or uncomfortable that he feels he must smooth ... (read in full...)
Should I worry that she wants to get herself off after sex?
Q. I'm 36, I've been married to my wife for 3 years and we never had any big sex-related problem or issue. Since a few months ago I started noticing that she was not satisfied anymore after we were done in bed. Not that she would tell me before, but ...
A. 1 October 2013: What does she mean about "men enjoying themselves"? It sounds like she's (sorry to say) never been having orgasms and didn't want to speak up. Unless I've misunderstood, she sounds a little old fashioned and thinks the mans enjoyment is more ... (read in full...)
I was going to end my affair then his wife found out and he told me not to contact him. What should I do?
Q. I am married and in love with a married man. It's the same old story as so many of the other stories on this site. Over the weekend, his wife broke into his phone and found out about me. i texted him yesterday morning not knowing this had ...
A. 1 October 2013: You're not stuck, you can decide it's over and disappear right now. You don't have to wait for the coast to be clear to end it. Who cares if he intends to "be back", if you've decided it's over? If he does reappear, simply tell him it's over and ... (read in full...)
Why are dumpers allowed to gloat and be vindictive?
Q. I got dumped by a complete jerk over a year ago. He dumped me by text because he "wanted to be single". I never cheated or anything. He treated me bad so I was glad. I never contacted him ever again and deleted his number. Months and months later he...
A. 1 October 2013: Some people are just jerks, and they don't break up either normally/ nicely or cleanly. It's not "OK", it's just a sad fact of life. Don't stoop to their level.
I think in this situation you didn't help yourself by having communication with him... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 1 October 2013: Glad you plan to go with your brother and his girlfriend and not alone, but you're leaving a lot of questions unanswered. When will you explain who this girl is to your brother? How will you explain your disappearance from them to make out etc with ... (read in full...)
A friend dropped off the grid. I value privacy too highly to charge in uninvited.
Q. I am in my mid 30s and is a secret introvert. However, as the coach at a popular UK University Sports Society, I end up going out most nights. I have a rule, Sundays are mine. Mine alone. Without it, I would be lost and be unable to cope with ...
A. 1 October 2013: There are 2 topics here, one about you being a lonely introvert and the other being about genuine concern for someone you care for dropping off the radar.
You would not be invading her personal space to contact her and check she is OK. That's a... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: Reading through all this, I'm very worried that you plan to visit this girl without your friends or family knowing about her. If you were online dating, you'd be advised to tell someone of your plans before meeting face to face, and this is no ... (read in full...)
Block him or fight for him?
Q. I discovered my boyfriend was cheating on me even after he knew my past of being cheated on and how badly hurt I was. I was so surprised because he earned my trust for over a year and a half before we even did anything. I really trusted him because ...
A. 30 September 2013: It's a good idea to block him. In the mean time, keep ignoring any texts or phone calls. He should get the message, though some people are very tenacious ... all the best, OP. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a fwb to turn into love and if so how?
Q. seeing my guy 1 yr now. He says he there will never be anything between us. yet one time after sex (he sometimes thinks out loud) he said emotions cannot get into this. He gets closer i think and then pulls away spacing out visits i think to ...
A. 30 September 2013: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-does-he-say-he-feels-no-connection.html
Hi OP, I am guessing you also posted this question, and the other one today asking about no emotional connection?
You're not going to get what you want with this g... (read in full...)
Did Karma use me for sex because I tried to use her for sex?
Q. Is Karma with merit? I ask this because what I did to another person seems to be happening to me now. I'm bisexual and I was trying to use a nice woman for sex but it never panned out. She found out what I was really about as far as only wanting to ...
A. 30 September 2013: What kind of person? You already know that because you behaved the same way as him with someone else. I'm not calling you names, you obviously feel remorse. People hurt/ use and others get hurt/ used, unfortunately. There are some not-so-nice people ... (read in full...)
My FWB says he feels no connection. What does he mean?
Q. He says he does not know why but he cannot feel a connection to me. he says he cannot feel anything in his heart anymore since his live in gf of 5 yrs cheated on him. It has been 4 yrs since she did this. we started seeing each other 1 yr ago. He ...
A. 30 September 2013: He means he doesn't love you, I'm afraid. You want something he can't give. Better to break it off with him and start afresh with someone capable of a loving relationship. He's told you he's not that man, and you can't fix or change him. You can't ... (read in full...)
How much should I dress up or make up for my FWB?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have a fwb with this guy who I really fancy! He knows How much I fancy him, but we both know it will not become anything more. I'm just wondering how much effort should I or shouldn't I be putting in into our sexy time? I...
A. 29 September 2013: OP, good, memorable sex has nothing to do with the way you decorate yourself. He already wants to receive "benefits" from you (and nothing else), so as long as you've showered, brushed your teeth and shaved your legs, I doubt he really notices or ... (read in full...)
Block him or fight for him?
Q. I discovered my boyfriend was cheating on me even after he knew my past of being cheated on and how badly hurt I was. I was so surprised because he earned my trust for over a year and a half before we even did anything. I really trusted him because ...
A. 29 September 2013: OP, he probably doesn't like anyone that much. Especially if you think he's a narcissist - those people hate themselves deep down. and I also pity the woman he is dating now. Let's hope she can be as strong as you when she sees his true colours.
... (read in full...)
Why does he say he feels no connection ?
Q. My Bf of 1 year says he feels no connection to me. he says he is not my BF. yet we go out, have sex. We started out wrong with sex. He had a cheating GF that lived with him and since then several years of not dating. Now me.. and he says no c...
A. 28 September 2013: If you don't want to date others then don't. Be single for a while and allow yourself to get over this relationship. He clearly doesn't want a relationship with you if he's happy for you to date other people, sorry to say .. you really must let him ... (read in full...)
How can I not be tight after having sex just once?
Q. Hi guys! I wanna ask some advice from u. I have a first boyfriend now at my 28yrs of age. He's been my bf for a week. Then he was assigned to my area and s0mething happened to us. It is my first time to have sex in my entire life. I wanna ask why is ...
A. 28 September 2013: When he's trying to enter and you feel pain, it's because you're not aroused and lubricated enough. You need to slow it down and enjoy the foreplay - then you'll avoid the painful bit.
I don't know why neither of you feel anything but it could be... (read in full...)
Block him or fight for him?
Q. I discovered my boyfriend was cheating on me even after he knew my past of being cheated on and how badly hurt I was. I was so surprised because he earned my trust for over a year and a half before we even did anything. I really trusted him because ...
A. 27 September 2013: Recognising that you are/ were in a state of denial is good .. it shows that you are self-aware. You are no longer in denial. Yes you should block his number, and with No Contact, you will start to see the whole scenario with more clarity. Stay ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 27 September 2013: "I think I just need to come to terms with it on my own" etc - if that's the way you feel, why post here at all?
OP, you've had a huge amount of feedback (excellent, well thought-out comments that people have taken significant time to compose)... (read in full...)
What's the deal with ALWAYS making dates and then not going through with them?
Q. Okay, so about 2 weeks ago I'm in the grocery store and this girl is checking me out. It occurs to me to hit on her, but I ultimately don't. On my walk home, the same girl pulls up beside me and starts chatting me up. She tells me I'm perfect, cute ...
A. 26 September 2013: Unfortunately I'm leaning towards her being 'too busy' to phone you tomorrow night. Have fun at the party either way!... (read in full...)
Why do some people not have stretch marks?
Q. I have a question about stretch marks... How come some people don't have them? i've never seen the women in a porno have them, i know the pics are airbrushed but not the videos. Does anyone here not have them? I have them and it makes me feel li...
A. 25 September 2013: Hmm, you want to be a glamour model? I'm sure plenty of glamour models have stretch marks and they are simply airbrushed out of photos.
I used to have stretch marks (silvery white) in my twenties but now they've just gone. I didn't do anything... (read in full...)
Why do I want to hold onto my ex when he cheated and I didn't?
Q. Hi and thanks My ex boyfriend and I are still communicating and I still love him but hes distancing himself from me. We broke up about 4 weeks ago and his reason for being aloof is his son is talking back to his mom. Yrs ago we were in a rela...
A. 25 September 2013: Please read your original post back to yourself and try to be objective, as if your best friend/ sister was telling you this story. What would you say to her? What would you wish for her?
It's clear as day that this man is no good for you whatsoev... (read in full...)
What's the deal with ALWAYS making dates and then not going through with them?
Q. Okay, so about 2 weeks ago I'm in the grocery store and this girl is checking me out. It occurs to me to hit on her, but I ultimately don't. On my walk home, the same girl pulls up beside me and starts chatting me up. She tells me I'm perfect, cute ...
A. 23 September 2013: Again, I don't know what is going on in her head, but if she was really that keen on going on a date she wouldn't stay in the gym til 10pm.
When her spontaneity becomes unreliability, it's not a good thing! It's actually quite disrespe... (read in full...)
What's the deal with ALWAYS making dates and then not going through with them?
Q. Okay, so about 2 weeks ago I'm in the grocery store and this girl is checking me out. It occurs to me to hit on her, but I ultimately don't. On my walk home, the same girl pulls up beside me and starts chatting me up. She tells me I'm perfect, cute ...
A. 23 September 2013: I'm afraid I can't help with what's going on in her head but agree that it's confusing. Have you actually been on a date with her, or is it all calls/ texts? Maybe she enjoys chasing but isn't so keen on actually dating.. who knows. Weird unless ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 20 September 2013: OP, you sound completely confused (no wonder) and I don't believe you are following your heart; rather your ego and your need to be wanted and desired. I'm not saying that in a nasty way, but when this is behind you, I think you will realise that ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 20 September 2013: OP, no it really isn't worth all the angst and pain. I'd strongly suggest you walk away now. Cut him off all together and move on. ... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 20 September 2013: OP, he said he knows he needs to make a choice and knows it's a big decision. In being kind to you, might I suggest you leave him to make this decision on his own. For your own well being, don't see him. Don't let yourself fall in any deeper. ... (read in full...)
Why does he say he feels no connection ?
Q. My Bf of 1 year says he feels no connection to me. he says he is not my BF. yet we go out, have sex. We started out wrong with sex. He had a cheating GF that lived with him and since then several years of not dating. Now me.. and he says no c...
A. 16 September 2013: Hi OP
No, you can't change him, or his lack of feelings for you, but you can change yourself. You need to realise that you require more than this man can offer you. He's been honest with you about feeling "no connection". That's really all you need... (read in full...)
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