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*SAddict agony aunt


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I'm 18, live in SC. I have depression and that holds me back sometimes. I love this site and love to give advice though I rarely follow my own. I hope my advice helps someone and if it does, I'm happy. If not, at least I can say I tried. If you ever want to talk send me a message. I'm always here :).

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I feel like he'll never love me as much as he loved her

Q.   Hi all, I've been having some issues lately and don't really know what to do anymore. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months, he had a very serious girlfriend before me. They had been broken up about 8 months or so when him and I started dating...

A.   13 November 2013: Try to stop worrying, you have to. Believe your boyfriend. Just because she was his first doesn't mean he can't develop something greater with you. If you have to, then ask him again if he is really over her, and if/when he says yes, let that be the ... (read in full...)

He's 21. Is that such a big age difference? Will people judge me about the age difference?

Q.   I met a lovely young boy who is 21. He is cute and nice. He's trying the best to makes me not feel the age difference. My problem is, do i date him or tell him to find a girlfriend his own age, or can i continue date him because i do love him? I...

A.   10 November 2013: What exactly is the age difference? Judging by your age range, I don't see anything wrong with the age. Don't give up on him because of this tiny difference. Its insignificant.... (read in full...)

Should I be worried about my girlfriend's behavior with her phone?

Q.   I love my girlfriend to bits..but I have noticed from day 1 she is a very private person but she has opened up to me in the months that we got to know each other better..but one thing that irks me sometimes is she carry's her phone with her ...

A.   30 October 2013: I wouldn't be worried about this. I am a very private person and don't like people touching my phone unless I give them permission. Maybe she is the same way. It's just a matter of asking her. Don't cross her boundaries of privacy and go touching ... (read in full...)

During our break, my ex sexted with a girl. What to do now?

Q.   I recently got back together with my ex boyfriend, however I found out that he has been sexting his ex before me the whole time we were apart. What to do now? ...

A.   21 September 2013: Either you get over it or you break up with him if you can't get over it. I don't think it's a big deal since you weren't together at the time. Decide if you can trust him and if its something you can get past,. if yes, stay together. If not, break ... (read in full...)

Our marriage has went downhill since I've been pregnant. He just doesn't seem to care how I feel!

Q.   I've written about this topic before, and every time I try other's advice, it just goes no where, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm now 8 months pregnant (fit and all belly). Since I started showing, my sex life has dwindled. It's pretty much beco...

A.   16 May 2013: Consider going to marriage counseling, and if he refuses to go, then get some therapy for yourself. This child needs to be brought into a stable marriage and your husband doesn't seem to get that. Let him know once again that it's not just the ... (read in full...)

I cheated with my housemate but didn't know how to break up with my boyfriend.

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I realized that I'm unhappy about a year ago, at the beginning of this year I moved into a house with a whole bunch of students because I started college. I started falling for one of the guys I stay ...

A.   25 March 2013: Meet up with your bf and tell him you think it's time to end things. He deserves to know why, so you might as well tell the whole truth. There's no easy way to break up with someone, not for the one being let go and not the one doing the ... (read in full...)

I have a FWB, he has a girlfriend but still tries things on me.

Q.   Hi, I have this guy friend back home. I used to be crazy about him, but when i found a bf i stopped. Lets call the guy L( the one back home). L broke up with his gf when i did with my bf. Both of us cheated on our bf/gf with each other. We became...

A.   24 March 2013: He has a gf, and the fact that he's still trying to put moves on you shows you he's NOT worth your time at all. He misses the FWB thing. That's all it is. He has the impression that you can be his play thing whenever you come to town. You need to ... (read in full...)

Why does he treat me like this? He keeps going back and forth.

Q.   I am 20 years old and met this guy a year ago. He wanted to hang out and I said ok. We got to know each other and I thought we had a lot in common. I have never fallen so hard for a guy...ever. He kissed me on the third time we hung out. When I h...

A.   24 March 2013: This guy isn't worth hanging around. He should know what he wants from you after a number of times of hanging out. You were right to end things because he was stringing you along and seems like he hadno.real plans of being with you. Lay off the ... (read in full...)

Married man was flirting with me but now he tries to ignore me. Why?

Q.   Hi everyone. Please don't judge because of what I am going to tell you. I have been flirting with an older married man and he has been flirting back. Long eye contact, a lot of smiling back and forth and all kinds of other things. He is alw...

A.   24 March 2013: Maybe he realized that what he was doing was becoming inappropriate and he had to stop. Only he knows why he did what he did. But I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Like you said, he's married and is probably trying to take precautions so nothing ... (read in full...)

What if you can't forgive your partner for cheating?

Q.   Hello. My name's Luan and I'm writing from Brazil. I'm not going to bother you with the whole story of my life and my relation, so I'll go straight to the point, asking you this. What to do.. If you are not able to forgive your partner after he...

A.   22 March 2013: If you can't forgive cheating, then you should move on. Being unable to forgive will lead to lack of trust, and eventually resentment. No relationship needs resentment at all, but every relationship needs trust..And if you know that the trust can ... (read in full...)

My fiance did nothing inappropriate at the bachelor party, but I am still upset that he felt horny nonetheless.

Q.   Hello. Im in a relationship since 5 years and we are now engaged, hope to be married in start of next year. Trust and girls have never been an issue in my relationship as my guy is not the sort who is a flirt. He visits foreign countries a lot ...

A.   21 March 2013: I think your fiance is playing with your head. His friends can't make him do ANYTHING. He is a grown man and was perfectly capable of walking out when things got too frisky. But he didn't, and saying he allowed it because he didn't want to be a ... (read in full...)

She masturbated... without me!

Q.   Should I be upset about this? Basically, my girlfriend and I had not had sex for almost 5 days. While we had never really agreed to not masturbate before our next time in bed, we had talked about doing something like that before. (We have sex a ...

A.   11 March 2013: It is JUST masturbation, it's not like she cheated. Masturbation can be done anytime, anywhere and it's her body, her mind, her decision. You will always have time to explore your sexual fantasies with each other. But expecting her to hold out on ... (read in full...)

She masturbated... without me!

Q.   Should I be upset about this? Basically, my girlfriend and I had not had sex for almost 5 days. While we had never really agreed to not masturbate before our next time in bed, we had talked about doing something like that before. (We have sex a ...

A.   11 March 2013: It is JUST masturbation, it's not like she cheated. Masturbation can be done anytime, anywhere and it's her body, her mind, her decision. You will always have time to explore your sexual fantasies with each other. But expecting her to hold out on ... (read in full...)

Do guys even like small boobs?

Q.   Hi. I'm 15 and my boobs are really small. Like 34A. I get teased about it a lot and I feel really bad about how I look. ?? Do guys even like small boobs? Why do they like big ones so much anyways? ...

A.   10 March 2013: Don't feel bad hun. The people who are making fun of you are insecure about themselves and are no better by making fun of you. You're perfect the way you are. Yes, guys like small boobs and large. Some guys have preferences, but most don't care and ... (read in full...)

I really want to break up with this guy but my mom says it will be a mistake!

Q.   Basically, I started dating my best friend 2 weeks ago, and he's already saying that he loves me etc, I feel so suffocated, I've told him and he listens, for about an hour, and then goes back to saying it. :/ This guy is amazing, I know he'd do a...

A.   10 March 2013: It's not your mom's place to tell you who you should and shouldn't be with. If you're not happy and you've done all that you can to get things better, then leave. It probably was a mistake jumping into another relationship so soon. Talk to yo... (read in full...)

Is it worth it to stay friends with her?

Q.   I'm in a bit of a problem with my two best friends, let's says friend A and friend B. We're all around college age, early 20's. Lately I've been having a hard time with my roommate and possibly being on the verge of being homeless, and ha...

A.   5 March 2013: If you don't want to go through this again and keep the friendship, you may have to stop confiding in A. I believe there's a bigger problem that A's not telling you, so she's finding petty things to argue about. I could be wrong, but it is a ... (read in full...)

My life long friend has become a burden to me. What should I do?

Q.   Friendship problem. I m friends with my girlfriend for many many years in fact we went to grade school together, and since then were inseparable. Our lives turned out to be very different. We are both 37. We both equally pretty, we both graduate...

A.   4 March 2013: Well if this bachelorette party is what has made you no longer enjoy her company, then you just need to no longer bring her on trips with you. If this friendship has been a burden for quite a while, then I can see why you may want to end the ... (read in full...)

I feel like I'm disgusting to my boyfriend, why won't he make love with me?

Q.   I’m a 29 years old man and I’ve kind of a love problem. I’m gay and I’ve a boyfriend, he’s 25. We’re together a bit more than a year and I’ve to say it has been the best year of my life. He’s perfect, he’s that kind of person I’ve always wanted to ...

A.   27 February 2013: Try to talk to him again and ask him what is keeping him at a distance from you. Tell him that it worries you and also hurts you that he can't be close with you physically. If he's unwilling to say why or he doesn't change after you've talked with ... (read in full...)

Is it cheating? I feel horrible and do not know what to do next!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am 22 and gay from Germany and its pretty late in the evening but my consience does not let me to go to the bed. I have a boyfriend more than a month now and everything was going perfect. I truely love him and he loves me too. He...

A.   26 February 2013: You did cheat on your boyfriend, obviously. Come clean to him and let him decide whether he wants to continue a relationship with you. This secret will come out eventually so there's no need in hiding it. Your man deserves to know the truth, even if ... (read in full...)

What does it mean when a girl uses exclamation marks in her messages?

Q.   There's this girl I like. I only got back in contact with her recently after 2 years. I know she had a crush on me last time I saw her. She uses exclamation marks at the end of all her sentences. I know it's speculating, but what does this mean? ...

A.   25 February 2013: I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I text someone who feels the need to use exclamation marks all the time so her texts won't be plain. It could be a habit of your friend's or it could be something else. But focus more on what happens in person ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend isnt talking to me any more.

Q.   Hi. I have internet boyfriend troubles. I know all of you will go 'Not again!' but just listen to me. So once I downloaded this app and I met this guy. He is very sweet and we have a lot in common. My friend decided to see what the fuss was abou...

A.   9 August 2012: Sounds like he's lost interest in you. If he was truly interested, you wouldn't need your friend to convince him you're important. Let him go and stick to dating in person for a while.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks its ok to cuddle with friends

Q.   My boyfriend has a friend ( girl ) kinda like a best friend .. that i think is way to friendly with him. I get so jealous. I havent even met this girl yet, and i hate her already. She has a weird sense of humor that i dont get. And like i said.. w...

A.   17 June 2012: It's not ok, or at least you don't think so, and that's a problem. You're not overreacting. Ask him why he thinks it's ok, and then discuss with him why you're uncomfortable with him doing it. If he respects you, he will stop. If he doesn't, then ... (read in full...)

Do I continue to put up with my difficult mother or just leave?

Q.   This is not a question about a boyfriend. Or an ex, or a potential. This is a question regarding my mother. She met my dad at 17 years old and has been married to him even now. They don't get along very well, they never have. And the only reason ...

A.   17 June 2012: You need to leave. Even though you're hurting her by being away, she's made your childhood miserable and she doesn't even seem sorry that she did. She will get the lesson about how to treat someone by you leaving. And don't give in to her when she ... (read in full...)

My best friend and ex had sex! Help!

Q.   me and my ex were dating for about 7 months and we broke. we stopped tallking to each other for about a month and then started to talk and see each other again. People told me that him and my bestfriend of 18 years were messing around but she told ...

A.   5 June 2012: Keep them both out of your life. A best friend wouldn't do that to you, ever. And if he wanted to be with you, he wouldn't have done it. But if he didn't want to, he still should've been sensitive enough to say I don't want to hurt her by doing ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend seems unsure about our future. What should I do?

Q.   I'm 23 and I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 years. I love him to pieces. I'm getting to the stage where I’m wanting someone to settle down with and have a potential husband. My boyfriend says he loves me, but he doesn't have any ...

A.   4 June 2012: I think you should find someone else. It's been 5 years and he's regretting that he hasn't been with anyone else. If he was truly happy, he wouldn't be thinking about potential relationships with anyone else because he'd have it all with you. If ... (read in full...)

He blames me for all of our relationship troubles

Q.   Well here goes it all started in march 2011 I met this truly wonderful guy well at least at that time I thought he was. we first slept together when I was 17 then by june of that year we split up I saw a dramatic change in him. he was very bad temp...

A.   30 May 2012: Stop having anything to do with him. If he loved you, he would be trying to make it work and not blaming you for everything. A relationship can't fall apart because of one person. He needs to take some of the responsibility. So he's with a member of ... (read in full...)

I want to escape my abusive, drug addicted brother

Q.   I can't take it anymore, I hate coming home.. My brother is a drug attict, thief and a liar. All he ever does is hurt me. He steals my money, takes my things, does drug deals infront of me. Im only 16, i shouldnt have seen any of this. i see his ...

A.   30 May 2012: Talk to your parents again and let them know how serious you are. If they decide to take you seriously and change things, then give them a chance. If they're willing to change the situation at home, then suggest some ideas, such as making him go to ... (read in full...)

I want Steve to be MY best friend, not his

Q.   So I'm an 18 yr old male and really good friends with this kid steve. I really want him to be a close friend of mine, and be each others absolute best friends. However theres a problem, hes already best friends with another kid who I dont ...

A.   30 May 2012: You're just going to have to give this friendship some more time. If you're meant to be best friends, then it will happen. But don't expect him to drop his other best friend to accomodate your feelings. Many people have more than one best friend and ... (read in full...)

I had sex with this girl, but I have a girlfriend, what should I do?

Q.   I was camping with a bunch of people and one of the guys brought his girlfriend and her friend. Her friend was cute and very flirty. I have a girlfriend we've been together a couple months. Every time me and my girlfriend have sex I don't cum which ...

A.   29 May 2012: Tell your girlfriend what you've done. Just because you say you'll never do it again doesn't mean she should be kept in the dark about this. She deserves honesty and the right to decide whether she wants to be with someone who disrespected her. If ... (read in full...)

B/f has way too many lady friends and its making me jealous and insecure!

Q.   before he got with me, my boyfriend was considered to be quite the ladies man. he had a number of girlfriends, and had more girls as friends than boys. he would often meet up with his girl mates, even when in relationships, and endlessly flirt with ...

A.   1 May 2012: Leave this guy. He's not taking your feelings into consideration at all. You've talked to him about it, and he's not considering your point of view. And to take girls for car rides or anywhere and not consider inviting you is rude and is clearly a ... (read in full...)

Why do married men look at other women?

Q.   why do married men look at other women? I have a husband who does this and I'm so upset about it. I don't look at other men because I'm happily married with the man I'm with. He tells me I'm beautiful, sexy, bodacious, the whole nine yards, but ...

A.   1 May 2012: Everyone, whether in relationships or not, looks at others that they find attractive. If your husband is staring, then that's a different problem, but if he's not, then you should accept it. The women he encounters aren't going to disappear when he ... (read in full...)

I found out my wife had an affair. 20 years of my marriage have been a lie

Q.   Hi I need help I have been married 33 years and have just found out that the last 20 years have been a lie. 20 years ago she entered an affair whilst I was serving in the Army we had been married 11 years and have two children. I went to war and ...

A.   22 April 2012: I think you need to separate for a while. You're in no condition to stay with her or make it work with all the pain you're in. Whether she was lonely or not makes no difference. You were protecting her and your country and you were definitely more ... (read in full...)

Why do people think the opposite sex cant be just friends

Q.   Hi just a quick question why do people always assume that a woman and a man can't be friends without there being more to it this man and me met through my step sister and we get on well (as friends) but people always say they don't believe we are ...

A.   14 April 2012: It's the same with my best friend and I. We can't go a day at school without someone saying we're together or one of us has feelings for the other. It gets annoying for us, but I'd rather hear that than to separate just because we're concerned about ... (read in full...)

I feel like a freak because I don't want children!

Q.   Is it weird that I don't want children? Sometimes I feel like a freak. All the women in my family are VERY fertile, they all have kids and most started at young ages. Even all the men in my family have or want children. So when I tell my mother and ...

A.   14 April 2012: I don't want kids either. I'm only 16, but the thought of being responsible for and raising one scares me. Especially raising a teenager, I'd probably be too overbearing, or always wondering if I'm raising them right. I love newborns and 1 yr olds ... (read in full...)

Do other couples not sleep in the same bed so they can sleep better?

Q.   Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I are happy together. We are each other's best friends, we share the same interests and spend the majority of our spare time doing fun things together. We spend more time together than the average couple, definite...

A.   7 April 2012: My parents are the same. I've always wondered about it but never questioned it. Occasionally, they'll sleep together but most of the time he's downstairs and she's upstairs. They find nothing wrong with it and it doesn't affect their relationship at ... (read in full...)

Rebound relationships - do they work?

Q.   Does rebound relationships ever really work out/last? why don't they work or last? and what is a rebound relationship?...

A.   7 April 2012: A rebound relationship is when you get with someone else right after you've broken up with someone. They don't work or last because most of the time, the person seeking the new relationship hasn't gotten over their ex and it's not right for them to ... (read in full...)

My friend loves me as only as a friend. But my feelings may run deeper eventually. Can I continue our friendship and not get hurt?

Q.   I'm in love with a friend.. who views me as a friend. I know that my friend loves me a lot.. But its just a friend/family type of love on their end. How am I supposed to deal with that? I've thought about ending the friendship.. That would ...

A.   5 April 2012: I've been where you are and I still am. I fell in love with mine 1-2 years ago. I finally told him how I felt a few months ago and it was one of the most relieving and comfortable conversations I had. I told him and things didn't get awkward, he ... (read in full...)

I want to be his girlfriend and he wants sex!

Q.   hello everyone. i'm an 18 year old girl, senior in highschool. i've been talking to this guy for a little over a month now. it's clear that we are ''something'' more than friends but im not too sure what to think of it. i have feelings for him and ...

A.   17 March 2012: He doesn't seem like someone worth being with. You say all he wants is to hook up with you nearly every time you're together. All he wants is sex. He's not considerate either. Everyone goes to the movies with the opposite sex at least once. He needs ... (read in full...)

I lost my virginity to some random girl while drunk, while I really like this other girl. Should I tell her?

Q.   Ok I basically lost my virginity last saturday, I was so drunk that I literally cannot remember what happened, the whole night was a blank. I only found out I had sex the next morning. The problem is I am into a girl, who is also into me, but she ...

A.   17 March 2012: I don't think it would do any good to tell her. You're not serious about her, she hasn't asked any questions about your sexual past, and she's allowing freedom for both of you. I would just cross the bridge when you get to it. If she ever asks any ... (read in full...)

My new husband is making me feel paranoid that I'm a slag because of my past! Is it really abnormal for women to be able to have guilt free casual relationships while young, purely for the sex and without any emotional connection

Q.   Dear aunts and uncles, especially aunts, I am a divorcee who has recently remarried, and my new husband has a major problem with my past. We have an amazing relationship and he's the only one I've ever given my heart to, but not my body, and tha...

A.   19 February 2012: I don't think it's abnormal for women to have sex without emotional connection. There are plenty of women who do and there will still be women who do in the future. We have needs and we shouldn't deny ourselves the right to fulfill them just because ... (read in full...)

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