My LDR seems sweet and gentle. I'm a virgin. Last night I found out he's into sadistic/masochistic sex. How do I deal with this?
Q. I'm going to try and keep this as brief as possible. Last night I learned that my long-distance boyfriend is into sadistic/masochistic sex. I'm really surprised, because he's a really sweet and gentle guy. I'm a virgin, with zero sexual activit...
A. 22 December 2012: I'm not going to say break up with him because that's not what you asked. You should just remember that it's pretty common and it doesn't mean he's screwed up or anything, so I'd try not to judge him too much if you really want to be with him. T... (read in full...)
I'm second guessing my decision to leave my cheating husband
Q. Hi. I've just separated after being with this guy since I was a teenager. Now in my 30s with 2 kids he's all I ever knew. He claimed cheated on me and when i said im leaving, he claimed to be gutted, said he was seeing a counsellor, and taking a...
A. 21 December 2012: Stay away, it's always going to be difficult but you'll be okay. Tell him that if he loves you he needs to do EVERYTHING in his power to change. Counselling, meds, whatever. If, down the line, you feel like he's changed and you still miss him (... (read in full...)
I love him and don't want to let him go but I don't know what else to do
Q. hey guys, ive never broken up with anyone before, in fact my current relationship is my first and has lasted more than 2 years. however some problems have started to boil over and i need to let my partner know that 'i basically need more than...
A. 21 December 2012: It may be more than your relationship, it could be his depression. I'd recommend doing exactly what you suggested, BUT, you have to be prepared for the possibility that this is the end of your relationship otherwise it won't matter. If you say "cal... (read in full...)
Torn Between two lovers
Q. Who is in a relationship of 6yrs, started dating when I ws vry young. Presently A¯_??? serving my fatherland n I met a guy in orientation camp n we both lyk each other and one thing led to another n we got so intimate n we did what lovers do so my ...
A. 21 December 2012: Don't forget that new relationships have an unfair advantage over familiar ones. You don't know the new guy, so everything he does seems great. Your boyfriend is well known to you and can seem boring. If your boyfriend is a good guy, treats y... (read in full...)
My inability to orgasm is causing me to not enjoy sex with the man I love.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. We love each other very much, he's my best friend, he's so caring and we are very affectionate. However, whenever we have sex.....I just don't enjoy it! I find him incredibly attractive, but ...
A. 21 December 2012: I think finding it hard to orgasm could have something to do with getting used to your vibrator. However that wouldn't explain the discomfort and you not enjoying yourself. First of all I'd recommend that you stop using a vibrator for now... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to a prostitute?
Q. I have been single for years I cant seem to meet women interested in me. Women I have dated all dumped me for other people , they all say I am a "lovely guy" but they always see, to go for arrogant pretty boys who usually treat them like crap.Every ...
A. 21 December 2012: Go ahead, it won't be the end of the world.
But, I think you need to start thinking about how you act towards women. A lot of guys are decent looking, intelligent and overall good guys, but they have a hard time connecting with women. Part of ... (read in full...)
This relationship feels more like a burden than something good in my life
Q. So, my ex that i was with about 2 years ago recently started talking to me again. We were together for about 11 months until i found out that he suddenly began to have "commitment issues" and was cheating on me. Well once i found out i immediat...
A. 21 December 2012: This is a no brainer, in fact I was going answer you by quoting you, but I can see NotDoneYet beat me to it.
Being nice, rejecting someone can seem difficult to do, but you can find a relatively nice way of doing it. In the end, no matter h... (read in full...)
I reached out to the friend with whom my husband cheated and I'm afraid it might backfire
Q. I will start at the very beginning, my husband and I have been together since I was 13 and he was 15. We were each others one and only for a very long time. When I was 20 I cheated on him, knew it was wrong came clean within a month and it was...
A. 21 December 2012: "Am I crazy to want this to work?"
It's not clear what "this" is, but I'm going to guess it's your renewed friendship. I don't see why it wouldn't work, but that's all up to you. Both her and your husband could be completely over each other bu... (read in full...)
Afraid to take a chance on love
Q. I don't know what sex is and I am tired of being laughed at for being a kiss less virgin at 21(22 in 2 weeks) I only want to get physical with a girl I love and people think this means I want the perfect setting before engaging in blissful and pass...
A. 21 December 2012: The bottom line is this: you can't prevent bad things from happening to you, you can only try and do your best to limit them.
That means don't date just anybody. Don't date somebody who finds sex to be more important than you.
Obviously if you'r... (read in full...)
He won't make it official
Q. i have been on a few dates with this guy. we had something before the summer and also just about 2 months ago however this did not work out because of my parents. me and him have had sexual intercourse and like each other very much, however he...
A. 21 December 2012: I don't know how old you are but if you're more toward 13 than 15 it's not uncommon for boys to be embarrassed about dating. Why? I have no idea, but I remember being that way. They may not be ready to grow up or have to explain their choices to ... (read in full...)
I'm confused and in love. What should I do considering my wife's attitude to our marriage?
Q. What is the true meaning of marriage? My wife wants us to remain married, but i cant have sex with her. I can touch her, but i can only get a kiss from her every once in a while. She left my for her lover and now is single and not dating. She ...
A. 21 December 2012: I don't think I've ever been able to say this without a shadow of doubt, but there's a first time fore everything: DIVORCE HER IMMEDIATELY! Why in the world do you need anyone to say that? ... (read in full...)
I made a mistake and told my long distance love some negative things out of emotion and too much wine! I'm visiting him now and want him to give us a chance!
Q. i made a mistake by telling my long disatnce love negative things out of emotion (and too much wine) that led him to believe we broke up. i am here with him now and the day after i arrived we discussed it more clearly. he said after i said those ...
A. 21 December 2012: I hope this isn't out of nowhere but if you told him he has a small penis or he's bad in bed you should forget about it, because even if he took you back he'd never be the same. ... (read in full...)
I need help I don't know what to do
Q. I have depression and been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months now and he acts like to two different people when we first started going out all my friends stopped talking to me because my boyfriend was black and when we hang out with his frie...
A. 20 December 2012: You've been with him for only 4 months and you feel like crap. It may not be his fault, but the bottom line is that there is no point in staying with someone when that's how you feel with them.
Seriously, if you had said this was your husband of 4... (read in full...)
My ex-girlfriend owes me money, but is pregnant with another man. What do I do?
Q. I apologize in advance if this is lengthy. I'm 22 years old. I dated a girl for three years who is the same age. We lived together for the majority of that time, however the last eight months of the relationship was very rocky. Sex was a rarity...
A. 20 December 2012: I completely agree with Fatherly Advice but I want to add that there's no point in expecting her to pay for anything. It's probably a better idea to play the lottery.
She sounds manipulative, just get her out of your life and move on. Get her crap... (read in full...)
A boy is going to ask me out on a date, but my parents don't want me to date till I'm 16. Should I lie to them?
Q. So I am 14 and will be 15 in about 2 months, anyways there is this guy I really like and he is going to ask me out on Friday (my friends ruined the suprise) I am really happy about this but the thing is I would have to hide the relationship from my ...
A. 20 December 2012: You're young enough that you can still be boyfriend and girlfriend in a 14 year old sense without having to really betray your parents. Obviously if you go on dates, go to his house, etc. and are lying about it you are betraying your parents trust ... (read in full...)
How do I approach girls for friendship?
Q. I have a problem of approaching girls for friendship, please what should i do?...
A. 20 December 2012: You don't "approach girls for friendship". If you really want friendship treat them as if they were no different than a guy. Your problem is that you are over thinking it.
If you want more than friendships that's a different story. ... (read in full...)
Why would my unmarried 37 year old boss call me Auntie at work? What's he trying to convey by that?
Q. Hi friends, I m a female of 30 yrs.but look short of my age. People in my office find me as of 25years only. I am unmarried, reserve by nature and professional. But sometimes my boss (who is around 37 but unmarried) calls me 'auntie'... and smil...
A. 19 December 2012: Yeah, Hawaiians often say that as well to mean someone close to the family, so It may be nothing. I don't think it sounds like he's talking down to you, it sounds more like a term of endearment in a friendly kind of way, certainly nothing to worry ... (read in full...)
Cheaters Central? Do you think my boyfriend cheated on me? Is he the cheater type?
Q. I know the type of answers I'll get for this question. "A relationship can't work without trust". But I guess I need to know whether I'm being paranoid or rightfully concerned. In any case, here it goes: Before I met my boyfriend he had a big cru...
A. 19 December 2012: Sorry, but it sounds likely he has cheated, maybe more than once. Seen cuddling with another girl doesn't mean he slept with her but it clls his honesty and loyalty into question.
As for the other girl it's just too big of a coincidence that he s... (read in full...)
I'm shy. And have platonic friends. Should I initiate contact or wait for them to contact me?
Q. So, i have a platonic friend question. I really dont have that many friends and i have a few friends from high school left but they never really contact me.. I guess because they are always going out and stuff and i'm kind of shy and not all that...
A. 19 December 2012: You answered your own question. Look how well not contacting them hs worked. If you want to hang out it looks like you don't have any choice. ... (read in full...)
She cheated. I don't want to lose her, but at the same time I think I should leave. What should I do?
Q. ive been in a relationship with a girl for 5 years. we live together, we're not married and have one child(10 months) together, and two more that she had in a previous relationship(8 and 4), that i now care for. i fell out of love with her a while ...
A. 18 December 2012: You certainly shouldn't stay if it's going to be the same old relationship. You have to decide that you want to make things better. I don't blame her for cheating, even though it's wrong as she obviously needs affection and attention just like most ... (read in full...)
My head is telling me that I have to stay with my wife for the sake of my daughter. My heart is telling me that I have found my soul mate with another woman.
Q. Should I follow my head or my heart? I have been married for five years now, but for the last year things haven't been going to good in my marriage. I am in the military and since my last deployment my wife has withdrawn herself from me. We have...
A. 18 December 2012: I think you can't possibly tell what someone is really like after a few months.
Remember how you felt about your wife after a few months? Didn't last did it? You have to really figure out what's going on with your wife, try going to another coun... (read in full...)
Stuck in a cycle of loving and loathing each other. We fight. When is enough, enough?
Q. We have been together on and off for 6 years. We got engaged 6 months ago and things are not good. We don't fight well at all. We both say things that we shouldn't . She keeps telling me she don't have that feeling for me, yet she don't want t...
A. 18 December 2012: If you want to be with her you'll have to go to counseling since it seems obvious that you guys are incapable of doing it by yourselves.
But I have to ask, at what point do you just say "I love you but we're not compatible."? ... (read in full...)
I think rejection has scarred me. How do I overcome it?
Q. What can I do to stop feeling bad about myself? I feel ugly and fat and low all the time because the guy I loved left me after 2 and a half years together. I have a new guy who says I'm beautiful and gorgeous but that rejection has truly scarred me...
A. 18 December 2012: Cut him off, the best thing you can do is forget he existed. Bonus: it'll upset him! ... (read in full...)
In your own opinion does her behaviour and reactions define her as an easygirl?
Q. i have been dating this girl for a while but i know very little of her sexual experience. she claims she has had only one serious boyfriend but dated other people. after my second date with her i was perfoming oral on her but she did not let me h...
A. 17 December 2012: You may not have very much experience with women, but most of them are easy by your definition. I think the longest I've waited for a girl is a week or so... Maybe a little bit longer, but that's the exception. I think that if there is chemistry ... (read in full...)
She doesn't feel the same - What do I do?
Q. Hi, There's this girl I really like and she doesn't feel the same way what should I do?...
A. 17 December 2012: Brian if you want a good answer ask a better question. How much interaction have you had with her? What have you tried? Did she reject you or has she just not shown interest? Etc, etc.
My instinct says don't spend time trying to get someone ... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend isn't meeting my needs but I'm afraid of being alone!
Q. i was in a relationship with a guy for past 4 years but i broke up with him some 8 months ago. I was feeling very lonely and depressed meanwhile a decent guy (who is my friend) approached me, now i am in relationship with this guy for 2 months, he ...
A. 17 December 2012: Being alone is difficult at first, but it gets easier pretty quickly and can be very good for you. By going from guy to guy you are transferring your feelings from one to another without really getting to find a guy that fits you.... (read in full...)
My friend kissed me and said he'd always love me but I'm confused!
Q. I am really confused about something that happened the other day. I am in love with my best friend which he didn't know about till the other day. The reason I hadn't told him was because he means the world to me and I couldn't bear to lose him as a ...
A. 17 December 2012: If what you're saying is true than it sounds like he likes/loves you but doesn't know where to take things from here.
If I was you I'd ask him to come over to your house in a semi romantic way and just open up with him. Get it out there.
You o... (read in full...)
I think my live in boyfriend of 2.5 years has feelings for his co-worker
Q. I think my boyfriend has feelings for a coworker and it's making me feel really insecure. We've lived together for 2.5 years now and talk about getting married. We have an odd relationship because we have very little in common. This coworker is...
A. 17 December 2012: I'd say you just have to trust him. He may be attracted to her but you can't make him feel like he's guilty for being human. I've been friends with women who I would have totally dated if I wasn't married, but I AM married so it's just not an... (read in full...)
I think rejection has scarred me. How do I overcome it?
Q. What can I do to stop feeling bad about myself? I feel ugly and fat and low all the time because the guy I loved left me after 2 and a half years together. I have a new guy who says I'm beautiful and gorgeous but that rejection has truly scarred me...
A. 17 December 2012: Just remember that feeling fat and ugly is standard issue for women for whatever reason.
I'm married to a woman who weighs 105 lbs and still thinks she's fat sometimes.
Yes, men tell you what you want to hear but they are also not nearly as cr... (read in full...)
What can I do about the bad attitude they keep telling me I have?
Q. Dear cupids, its so hard for me to keep a relationship. Before I started dating I hated men because of my father and dating hasn't changed a lot especially when they ask for help like money sometimes. I feel they want to use me because I am from a ...
A. 17 December 2012: You have two options:
1.) Go get counseling.
2.) Keep ruining your relationships until you find a dominant guy that can control you. There is some guy out there who's personality will be a perfect match for you, you just have to look.
... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to have a lover. Can anyone help me understand the man's point of view on this? Why would be want to see me being pleased by another man?
Q. Hi, my husband and I have been together for 4 years. We recently got married and are very happy together. Before i met my husband i enjoyed my sexual freedom, meaning i had lots of experiences. He was also sexually very active before he m...
A. 17 December 2012: I was reading that there are scientists that believe this is actually a form of instinct; the reason it's a common fantasy for men is because for much of human history we were polyamorous (not monogamous) and we lived in small social groups where ... (read in full...)
Is my ex-bf gay, bi or curious? He has never seemed gay earlier and we had a good sex life together.
Q. Ok so I know no one on here would be able to give me a perfect answer without knowing my ex-bf, lets call him David, but I would just like to know what other people might think about this. So David and I have been dating for 3 years. We both f...
A. 16 December 2012: Well, he's obviously not 100% gay, because I consider myself more or less 100% straight and I would never initiate gay sex.
That being said there's no reason to think he's making this up. Honestly, he might have cheated on you with another ... (read in full...)
Is this normal male behaviour or is he being overly possessive?
Q. My boyfriend and I are on holiday, staying in my friend's apartment. She and her boyfriend live here. My boyfriend got upset with me last night as I came to bed in my pyjamas and he said the top was see-through and he hoped I wasn't letting N (the ...
A. 15 December 2012: He sounds like an insecure little kid. If you haven't done anything to make him that way (cheating or being distant for real) than his attitude is completely childish.
Maybe he has some mental health issues, or self esteem issues that are maki... (read in full...)
New man wants to take a break because of my crazy ex husband
Q. I'm currently going through a divorce from an emotionally/verbally/physically abusive marriage. We have been separated for 4 mths and divorce is in process.. I started dating one of my good friends about a month ago.. This past week ex started ...
A. 15 December 2012: Sorry to be blunt I wouldn't date you either no matter how much I liked you. Your ex IS dangerous, to you, your bf and his daughter. You need to get rid of your ex once and for all, you shouldn't allow him around your kids either. Once you have ... (read in full...)
Masturbating as a teen: Is that likely to negatively affect the sex in a committed marriage later on?
Q. When females masturbate at a young age, can it affect their marriage bond later when they have sex with a spouse have sex? I am 17 years old, and I have been in a relationship that has been sexually active. The problem was, none of my past boy...
A. 15 December 2012: You're young, I think at your age orgasms are more of the exception than the rule. Once you and your partners become more experienced and more comfortable with sex you'll be better off.
... (read in full...)
Straight out of a Soap Opera. Questions about her cheating.
Q. So, recently I posted about how my girlfriend of 6 years cheated on me with one of her co-workers. I didn't understand fully why everything happened. There were so many unanswered questions. I didn't understand why she wouldn't just tell me, leave ...
A. 15 December 2012: I can't answer all of your questions. However what I would suggest is for you to set up a meeting with this other girl (dinner) and talk with her. It will probably make you feel better and, even better you can see if you two hit it off to get a ... (read in full...)
Is he burdened by the fact that I like him? Does he feel responsible? Or does he have feelings for me?
Q. So I've been in love for a long long time now. And he knows, he doesn't feel the same, which is cool, I'm happy if he's happy. A couple years back, I kissed him. He kissed me back but I was naive enough to think that he liked me back. I am gett...
A. 15 December 2012: A guy can like you as a friend. If he is aware of how you feel there could be a number of reasons he hasn't made a move. None of them really matter, because whatever his reasons are, it seems obvious he's not interested.
When I was in high sch... (read in full...)
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