A
male
age
41-50,
*utter419
writes:Ok, I met a girl about 6 months ago at her work, and when i walked out the door to leave her manager came outside to tell me that this girl said that I was going to be her husband one day. Well after about a week or so me and this girl exchanged phone numbers. She had a boyfriend at the time so things just started out with us being friends and the more we talked the closer we became. Well when we first stated talking she said she wanted to leave her boyfriend because he would never do anything with her and she just wasn't happy, and she would like to go out with me and see what happened. Well things were up and down over the 6 months that we talked, she even broke up with him a few times only to get back together with him. Anyway, about 2 months ago we were talking one night and she asked me did I love her. And I told her that I did and she said that she could tell that I did. She also told me that she was in love with me too. So, things seemed to be going great except that she couldn't leave her boyfriend. To make a long story short, about a week or so ago, she and her boyfriend finally broke up and she told me that she was finally going to stand up for herself and stop letting him run all over her and told me that she just wanted to be single for awhile. I was always the ONE person she could talk to about anything!! I told her that she should do what she feels she needs to do, but the whole time in this she told me that she LOVED me and wanted to be with me!! Now that she is broken up with him she has also quit talking to me too. She relayed through some friends that two things were going on. First being that she wanted to be single for awhile (I don't have a problem with this). Second, the age difference between us was bothering her. Well we had talked about this before, and she told me that she wasn't worried about it, but didn't think her dad would approve. She has told her dad about me and he knows that we're friends. I'm 33 and she is 18. I guess what I want to know is, do I need to move on with my life and forget about her altogether or should I hold on to the fact that she is the ONE girl I want to spend the rest of my life with!!! She has even told me that she wanted to marry me and be with me for the rest of her life. I think her friends are the ones bringing up the age thing now. What should I do?? If the question isn't clear enough I will try and clarify anything. It's been 3 days since I've spoken a word to her. I'm just afraid that if I don't do anything, I'm going to lose the ONE and ONLY girl that I want to be with!!! Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!!!!
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female
reader, BeautifulCapricorn +, writes (21 January 2011):
the age difference is not bad. just be patient with her and talk to her
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): She just needed a friend to help get the strength to leave someone. It's hard to let go of someone without support and knowing someone else can care about you. She's just not that into you.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 January 2011):
 She probably does need to take some time to evaluate where she is going. That's normal. And there is no reason why she has to cut off all contact, unless... she feels she cannot handle you. In that she worries about her ability to resist you.
Give her some time. If she still continues to avoid you then perhaps accept that right now she is not right for you, from her perspective. But that may change in the future.
If it is any help my great grandfather was 37 when he eloped with a possibly girl 17 year old and they had their first child when she was 18. But they did have a long and happy marriage. So it can happen very successfully.
Do remember that she is still maturing. So the 18 year old today will be a slightly different woman in another 6 years and again in another 12 years. But then so will you. Keep an eye on her from a distance and be there for her if she seeks you out.
But if she avoids you consistently for the next 12 months then you may have lost her. Love can be so fickle. But often works out for the best if we have patience.
Best wishes
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