New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login239611 questions, 1059312 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Would you consider this cheating?

Tagged as: Cheating, Faded love, Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I seem to have that feeling of distance between us for a few months now. For me- it seems as though he is just comfortable and doesn't feel like he has to try anymore. I believe the two most important things in a relationship are being able to communicate, especially when it comes to finances- and keeping the romance or intimacy going. The last few months though I have been talking to people, other guys mostly, online. Usually guys because they will comment on my pictures and inquire about me and what I do. I've really enjoyed the attention. Plus, my boyfriend has expressed at times some jealousy towards my online time- and it tends to fuel him into wanting to do stuff together or even just create more flirting between us. I like that even more. My question is- would this be considered cheating? I've never met any of the guys online and don't plan to. I love my boyfriend, I just feel like we are at a stand still and i want that spark of excitement back- for both of us. Any advice as far as talking to people online or how I could encourage my boyfriend to continue 'courting' me and our relationship would be great. Thanks.

View related questions: flirt, jealous, spark

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all- I understand what you are saying and I've already considered the shoe on the other foot. Yes I would be upset and more than likely feel second best as well. The issue I'm having is that I've tried several times to address the issue with my boyfriend. He sees nothing wrong with how are relationship is. Ever since he figured out I'm his, the chase is over and he's retiring, lol. I'm always trying new approaches to keep him interested and intrigued, but he isn't. So what advice can you give me in order to explain and get him to realize ongoing efforts to maintain a spark are important to me? Or- do you think that is just the way he thinks and is, and maybe I should cut my losses? Most of the online conversations I have with others are long distance. I would not pursue them, I'm smarter than that and it's just an ego boost like you said.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (28 February 2010):

GrimmReality agony auntYou are engaging in online ego stroking to make yourself feel better. so eventually this will turn into an emotional affair if it already hasnt.

This is a two way street like all relationships are.

so tell me what would you feel like if your BF was doing the same thing? yeah put the shoe on the other foot for a second. You'd be freaking out!

I suggest that you are talking about all this communication and doing the exact same opposite will eventually end your relationship and you will have yourself to blame.

If you cant practice what you preach you are too immature to be in any type of relationship

You are living in internet fantasy air...grow up!

<-- Rate this answer


A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2010):

It is a bit of a dangerous way to go. In all honesty, would you truly be happy if your boyfriend was talking to other women online. Probably not. What you might find is that this will continue, and in the end your boyfriend will think he's second best and end up walking out. It's fine to have male friends, and it would be wrong to say don't, but to flirt online with guys will lead to heartache at some point. If you like the attention, work harder with your boyfriend to make sure he understand what you want and need. Remember men aren't mind readers.

<-- Rate this answer


Add your answer to the question "Would you consider this cheating?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft