A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a relationship for almost 2 years, we're both divorced and not rushing into marriage. she lives with me weekdays being I'm very close to where she works. We have a good relationship and I don't want to rock the boat asking her to wear a wig. She is a natural beauty, she wears very little make up and her hair is way shorter than mine and she still looks awesome. I once asked her why she keeps her hair so short. She said she has nasty looking hair and likes the ease of short hair. Well what ever she wants. She's still my girl and she's still a very beautiful woman. I just think about how good she would look with long hair. I thought I'd buy a decent wig with a nice hair style I know would look great on her, I would like her to wear it during sex once in a while. I don't intend on asking her to wear it out of the house, not unless she chooses to do that on her own. I feel asking her to do this for me would be like I'm looking for a different woman when all I want is to see her with longer hair making love to me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2014): Since when is wearing hair longer a whole lot to ask of your wife?
Getting married is not a finish line you cross and quit putting so much effort into the relationship. It takes regular ongoing effort to maintain a marriage over the long term. Serpico's comment on January 7th is right.
I know exactly how much more work it is dealing with thick wavy long hair down to the shoulders. I had it that way for a few years when I was younger. If my wife wanted me to grow it back for her (and if my employer didn't object) then I would do it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 January 2014):
 A woman should wear her HAIR to please herself NOT Her partner. However, TRYING new styles is one thing... growing hair long for a partner when you wear your hair short for various reasons is a totally different story and most MEN do not get the whole "growing hair out" issues women suffer.
I have very curly hair. I wore it curly for years. MY husband professed to liking straight hair... so I tried it. I LIKED the look and I switched. NOT for him... FOR ME.
Yes it's nice that it makes him happy. But that's not why I did it. NOW I can't even imagine me with it curly.
BUT the upkeep and maintenance to wear it straight is much harder, more labor and time intensive and it cost a whole LOT MORE money to maintain than it did curly.
Just like men who don't wear facial hair by choice don't want to be told "I prefer men with facial hair can you grow some?" women do not want to be told 'I prefer women with long hair can you grow it?"
The OP clearly made his "distaste" of short hair known with his question: "She said she has nasty looking hair and likes the ease of short hair."
Trust me women know men prefer long hair (most men... weirdly enough mine likes it a bit shorter than I would like) and yet SHE is wearing her hair to please herself.
NOW if he wants to be the one to PAY to maintain her hairstyle and to do the work involved in LONG hair for her (not going to happen obviously) then it would be fine
but for men to come in here and say "oh just change your hairstyle to please your partner" is unrealistic and not really grasping the issues.
What if I said to you guys AS YOUR PARTNER: "I prefer a man who wears long hair to your military fade, also I like a goatee and a hitler mustache and I prefer a man who is thick" would you make these STYLE changes to please me?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 January 2014):
 Awww male reader - where's your sense of humour. That was a clearly tongue in cheek comment; no need to ALWAYS burn incense on the altar of Politically Correct. Eyeswideopen has a biting , sharp sense of humour , which we regular Aunts know and LOVE. Definitely EWO sounds like a strong willed kind of lady- nonetheless, if she has been happily married with the same guy like for ages, and managed to raise kids and grandchildren with him... she must have been doing something right relationshipwise; as usual,what one DOES counts more than what one says.
If wit is not allowed and we must mind to keep everything absolutely fair and square in a supposed war of sexes ( ?) , then let's say that yes, the man is surely entitled ,if so he wishes, to ask his lady to wear a wig during sex. And the lady is surely entitled, if so she wishes, to tell him go fuck Lady Godiva next time he wants sex.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2014): "I'm going to wear my (hair/clothes/etc) how I want and you are going to accept it. See how well it works to compromise?"
I wonder how a man would be treated for making that kind of comment.
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (8 January 2014):
 A wig ? Oh no, I would feel I'm having an intercourse with a transvestite (cf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo ).Joke apart, I think in a couple, one has to be considered oneself made for the other one. There are sure limits to what can be asked, but this sort of thing should be "a little pleasure" easily granted to the partnaire.And if one prefer to do "exactly as she/he wants to", there is a problem of love/respect. Why not considering living ones life as a single, the perfect situation to do everything 100% according to ones tastes ?I think you should insist (with diplomacy) and make your wife understand that being a couple means looking at how one can please the other.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (7 January 2014):
If it was something easy to change such as my hairstyle, I would most definitely at least try it. I want to be as attractive as possible for my wife.
For those who wont do something this simple, that is your prerogative, just don't get upset when you see an eye wonder here and there....
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 January 2014):
 To eyeswideopen: I think that qualifies as a "50/50" deal!!!!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 January 2014):
 I have pretty much always had shoulder-length hair. My husband mentioned not too long after we were married that he liked really long hair on women. So I told him I would compromise with him, I would wear my hair the way I wanted and he would get over it. See how simple it can be to work these things out?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 January 2014):
 Yes, I would be offended, because when will you start to "wish" to see me with a wig outside of bed, outside the house.. So forth.
Like the other ladies said, role-playing is one thing, wanting her to change her LOOKS is another.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 January 2014):
I always feel a little uncomfortable making a reply to a submittal on here... when the submittal says (approximately): "My partner is perfect. I love him/her EXCEPT for (this one little thing/detail)...."
It makes me wonder just how the rest of his/her attributes add up.....
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (7 January 2014):
 I would not be very comfortable with this, either. At the very least, discuss this with her and decide together - please don't just go out and buy her a wig to wear in bed. If she's generally open to role play and quite liberal in bed, she might not mind at all but I certainly think you should discuss it first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2014): Personally I think if her hair is that short, a wig would just end up coming off during sex. I mean you could try it, but it wouldn't last on her head very long.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2014): Has she always had this short hair while you've been with her ? (I need to ask this before I can answer properly)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 January 2014):
unless it's role playing I'd be uncomfortable with this as a woman. IF my husband asked me to wear a wig or anything else that would change the inherent parts of me I'd think he did not love me as I am and that he wanted a different woman and was just settling for me.
I think it's going to be a very difficult request to pull off without making her feel insecure.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (7 January 2014):
You are very confusing. Listen to what you said "I don't want to rock the boat asking her to wear a wig." "She is a natural beauty," " she still looks awesome." "Well what ever she wants." "She's still my girl and she's still a very beautiful woman." "I feel asking her to do this for me would be like I'm looking for a different woman"
You have given every reason why you shouldn't ask and just accept her as she is, yet you want to change that. So, the question is...what is the real reason?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 January 2014):
 How open would she be to role playing?? If you incorporate the wig, get one for yourself, maybe some playful bed clothes, and it won't look like you're looking for another woman. It would look like some switching it up in the bedroom, give you what you want with the long hair, and spice things for her too.
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