A
male
age
36-40,
*hrisC
writes:I finally got the courage to ask out this girl I've had a crush on for a while. She said yes but said she was busy this week but maybe we could get together next week or this weekend sometime. I asked for her phone number and she gave it to me no problem. But for some reason I have a feeling she isn't interested and only said yes becuase she was afraid of hurting my feelings. She sort of hesitated when I first asked her before she said yes and I guess to me it didn't seem like she was super excited about it. I don't know, I could be reading far to into this and I guess I should be happy that I got a 'yes' instead of a no. But would girls who aren't interested in a guy say 'yes' and give them their phone number? I would like to think she is SOMEWHAT interested. And if there are girls out there who say yes to guys they don't like, please, stop doing it, it isn't fair to the guy. He deserves to be let down right away, not after he takes you out. Don't prolong rejecting him. The guy had the courage to ask you out, please, get the courage to reject him on his initial attempt at asking you out.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 May 2010):
 ChrisC, you need to chill out! If you go into this date already annoyed at women for not accepting you with enthusiasm, you're going to brow beat every woman you come in contact with because they're not behaving like you want them to. A DATE is to decide whether or not you like someone. A date isn't an obligation to be with you until death do you part. I think you spend way too much time with your fantasies. Approach this girl, and the dating scene in general, without this stupid chip on your shoulder. Otherwise, more girls WILL say no to you, either right away, or after she gets a load of your bitterness IN the date.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): In a reply to your follow up, that has nothing to do with gender, it's not a female trait, guys do it too so don't flatter yourself!
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (21 May 2010):
 TimmD has it right. I will add that we are flattered to be asked out. If she wasn't interested AT ALL, then she wouldn't have given you her number.
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A
male
reader, ChrisC +, writes (21 May 2010):
ChrisC is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell that is rather annoying and I wish girls wouldn't do that. It's not fair at all to the guy to say yes to his offer for a date, only to reject him after the date. Not fair. Girls, stop doing stuff like that, its cruel and its not fair to the guy. We got the courage to ask you out, get the courage to turn a guy down if you aren't interested. Do you not see how that is not fair in everyway?
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A
male
reader, ChrisC +, writes (21 May 2010):
ChrisC is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell that is rather annoying and I wish girls wouldn't do that. It's not fair at all to the guy to say yes to his offer for a date, only to reject him after the date. Not fair. Girls, stop doing stuff like that, its cruel and its not fair to the guy. We got the courage to ask you out, get the courage to turn a guy down if you aren't interested. Do you not see how that is not fair in everyway?
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (21 May 2010):
 Would a girl say yes even when she is uninterested? Yes. Because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings? Yes. HOWEVER:Some girls say yes when they are UNSURE. That means the door is somewhat open for you. Now, some of the girls on here will be able to confirm or deny this, but usually if a girl is totally not interested... like 100%, they will not say yes. But if they like you and they're just not sure if they could like you romantically, they will definitely give it a chance. Thats what makes girls so great. Us guys won't usually do that.Don't look at this as a bad thing. Yes, you are over analyzing this somewhat. Look at this as a positive thing. YOU HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER. She's your crush. Go for it. Girls can detect attitude and self confidence. Go into this thinking positively that you do like her and do deserve to go out with her. Show her what kind of a guy you are. Most relationships aren't love at first sight, love evolves.Ladies, what do you think?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 May 2010):
She wouldn't have said yes if she wasn't interested, especially if she's in the same age group as you are. By the late 20's, we women tend not to want to waste our time. ;)Don't worry about *how* she said yes to you and find out what lights her up, what she loves in life and put some creativity and thought into the date you'll go on with her. Many really strong and good marriages are built from awesome friendships, and maybe it's not like the movies where your crush, upon hearing of your interest, falls desperately into your arms. Remember - you've built up your feelings for her for a long time, and she may not have gotten the chance to yet. The important thing is not to force too much intimacy on her and overwhelm her with your feelings, even though I know the urge is there.Don't agonize over how she said yes. Be excited that she did. I wasn't overly attracted to my husband when he first asked me out, but as our friendship grew, I fell head over heels in love with him, and we're now in our 12th year of marriage.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 May 2010):
 Would girls who aren't interested in a guy say "yes"and give them their phone number ? Yes,some would.You have no idea how many women are trained,openly or indirectly, by explicit recommendation or by example, since their earliest childhood to be "nice ", to please people, to be "kind" to everybody and most of all to men. You don't shed this conditioning so easily. So there are quite a few women that are not good with assertive communication.
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