A
female
age
36-40,
*ith a married man
writes:Hi, I'm with a married man...he's five years older than me, he's very cute and I really like him. It all started from when he came to my house to fix the meter, he told me to get some fuses and plain panels, he wrote them down on a paper and he wrote his mobile number down as well...After a couple of days I texted him asking when is he coming to fix them again and from there the text messages started. He asked my name, how old I am.. I asked him if he was married he said "if I am would you leave me"?, I said "no". He told me the truth and said yes... we planned to meet, we chatted and came close and kissed, then we kept on meeting. After meeting 10 times I had sex with him. He says his always busy at work and I don't know what to do... do i believe him or not?? Every time I text him he never textes me back... then after a couple of days he phones me to meet him then when I meet him I end up having sex with him again... this has happened 5 times now and I don;t know what to do seriously. Shall I leave and get on with his married life because I feel bad sometimes because he has a family or shall I still be with him, but I really like him... please help... I need some advice
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Are you familiar with the term "booty call"?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): P.S. Don't be surprised if you're not the only woman he's cheating on his wife with. I'm guessing you're one of many.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): He's only with you for easy sex. If you're ok with being somebody's sex toy then carry on.
He doesn't text back because he's MARRIED and is probably busy with his REAL life which you are not a part of. He doesn't love you.
"Every time I text him he never textes me back... then after a couple of days he phones me to meet him then when I meet him I end up having sex with him again... this has happened 5 times now"
Come on. You can't be this stupid. You're old enough to know better. He wants to see you when he feels like it and when it's convenient for him. If he cared about you, even a tiny bit, he would have replied and apologised for not replying sooner.
He's never going to leave his wife for you. All you are to him is easy sex. I bet he can't believe his luck.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (6 June 2011):
 very simple. you leave. CLEARLY you are not his first priority. that won't change. he's married. his wife is his first priority. he's making that crystal clear.
when he doesn't text you back, it's because he's busy with her. when he goes home, he can't be talking to you. he only communicates with you when it's convenient to him. and he only has sex with you on his own accordance. your relationship is based around him. you can't have a relationship like this. plus, he's married. you've got to walk away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): I think were all bieng quick to judge. Essentially everyone uses every one. After all ..regardless of weather you paid him...you used him to fix your meter.
If he has sex with you and you feel used. call it off. but if the sex he gives is making you feel happy. your using him too. and if he doesnt text you back then you have to understand that he is trying to keep this from wife and sometimes its not appropriate to text back.
Your getting a good bit of a relationship without any of the grief and arguements. Is it just sex your getting, you getting fun?, comfort? someone to talk to? if so then enjoy it and try not to fall for him.
If you feel used then end it because its not worth the damage this will have to your self esteem
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 I would ask myself how many other women he meets on the job like this. Once a cheater, always a cheater, right?
I think you're being used big time.
Stop seeing him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): I think being with him when he is married was a wrong decision. Because you're with a cheater and you ruined a life of another woman. Sorry if this sounds bad but its really true. If he truly loved you he would have left his wife. He's just using you. Leave him. He's not a good choice. He's just using you for fun. Don't let him use you anymore. Tell him, if he loves you and wants to continue you're relationship then he has to leave his wife and till he doesn't you'll not talk to him and not make any contact. Then you'll have you're answer comfirmed. If he says something like, "Yeah it'll happen soon." Or something like that, say thats its not gonno happen till you divorce you're wife. If he doesn't. Then he's not worth crying for. Because not only he's cheating his wife he's using you also. Its best to leave him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Agree with Honeypie regarding the "HE is the one hurting his family, you are jsut the "tool" he is using. If it wasn't you, he would be screwing someone else"Also, remember what happened, and try to understand why you got involved with someone else under these circumstances so you don't do it again.You shouldn't do this to yourself, never mind his family. But, you need to understand why you did this to yourself. If you don't, some day you will get married, and you will do it to your family, your spouse and your kids.Check these books out. Read them. Understand them.http://www.amazon.com/After-Affair-Healing-Rebuilding-Unfaithful/dp/0060928174http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Affair-Program-Together/dp/157230801XHoneypie may not be right on target about him not leaving his wife for you, but if he does, he will leave you for another woman as well....Treat yourself better, you are worth it, and somewhere out there someone exists who will treat you like you are worth it. End the affair, but the affair will not be over for you.This affair will lead you to hide it and cover it up in the future, and make you afraid that any man that you get involved with will do this to you with someone like you who will get it on with a married man. This can be very destructive to relationships, and you will find it very hard to trust someone in a serious long term relationship.My best advice, beyond reading those books, is to get with a therapist and work very hard at understanding why you did this. Then, in your next serious Long Term (notice, I didn't say short term) relationship, you need to talk with them openly about your past and your fears and your insecurities and what you have done to overcome them and address the problems you have had that led to you doing what you did. You may feel this makes you "less wonderful" to the guy, but it will help him understand you didn't walk out of the pages of a magazine and you are a real person who has real life issues that he needs to understand.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (6 June 2011):
 *throws face in palms and shakes head*
Seriously, you are at LEAST 22 years old and you do not get WHY this man does not respond?
He is a cheating husband and he is using you for his own satisfaction. He owes you nothing.
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A
female
reader, zebralove +, writes (6 June 2011):
 I think you should leave him alone and cut contanct with him completly.. He is MARRIED!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Stop seeing this man as soon as possible! Do not return any more of his calls. If he persists, let him know that you are not interested in seeing him anymore. Don't offer him any detailed explanation. You don't owe it to him and he doesn't deserve it. And, then do some reading on self-esteem so that you can improve yours and realize that you are worthy of your own man, not someone else's.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 June 2011):
 You should feel bad. Where are you sense of right and wrong? Your morals and values? do you have any?
But HE is the one hurting his family, you are jsut the "tool" he is using. If it wasn't you, he would be screwing someone else ( I want to bet on that).
He is not going to leave his wife for you. That I will bet on too.
So what you have is a married doucebag "fwb" relationship. You are his Bootycall.... Is that what you want for yourself?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): You shouldn't be in this relationship. It is just wrong for you, for him, and esecially for his family who have no idea most likely what's going on. When you get married to someone you say you're going to faithful to them. If he's already cheated on his wife with you, then what's to stop him doing the same to you later on. This is just no right. You should end it now, apologise and say it was a mistake and that it's not right that you and him are doing this. Maybe even suggest he should come clean with his family. You need ot find someone else who is lovely, loyal, kind and faithful and certainly not married.
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