A
female
age
30-35,
*adgerBadger
writes:Okay, so I posted a few months ago that I had a boyfriend, but had developed feelings for my best friend. After months of torturing myself because I didn't know how my best friend felt, and because I felt bad for my boyfriend, I decided to tell my best friend everything. It turns out that he likes me back, and that he never made a move because he didn't want to ruin my relationship. I think I'd be a lot happier with my best friend, and I'm considering breaking up with my boyfriend this summer. Thing is, we have holidays/festivals/gigs planned right up to August, and he's been looking forward to spending this summer with me. My best friend is also out of the country all summer traveling. Should I wait 'til the end of summer in case I change my mind, or am I just delaying the inevitable?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Break up with your boyfriend. He deserves to be with someone who doesn't see him as second best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Lets not judge her. I personally think it would be better for you to wait until you have done all the gigs you have planned.
Your boyfriend is going to be embarrassed and heartbroken weather you break up now or in summer.
Maybe you might rekindle your love.
I would wait until end of summer.
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A
female
reader, NadgerBadger +, writes (6 June 2011):
NadgerBadger is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo be honest, I would rather break up with him now rather than later, I hate lying to him, and I hate the fact that he's not going to expect it at all. But my mum wants me to wait until after the holiday and the gigs (I guess because she's paid for the holiday). She's also really angry with me because she likes my boyfriend. I just feel like whatever I do, I'm hurting someone :(
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (6 June 2011):
 Honestly, I think you sound really selfish. You already know that you like your friend more then your BF, but you don't want to miss out on all the fun this summer and your friend is gone as well.
If you aren't serious about your BF, break up. Take the summer to figure out what and who you really want. Not just be with whomever is most entertaining/convinient.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Mmm, tbh it'd be cruel if you kept it going over summer because the likelihood is as you begin to distance yourself from him over the summer because you now relaise you have feelings for your friend he will notice and it's much better you end it now, now you are sure you want to be with your best friend. That decieve your boyfriend into thinking you still love him. As for the tickets say he can do with them what he wants, i'm sure he has friends that will go with him. And if you end it now, he will hopefully have time enough to heal before the events and the events themselves could provide a great way for him to try and get over you and move on. But don't prolong the break up it's not fair on him and you will feel awful for doing it. Just tell him now or as soon as possible, that you wish him well, thanks for the memories and that you feel the relationships run it's course, but don't go out with your best mate straight away. It's not healthy to go from one relationship straight into another, give yourself a few months first to straighten up and make sure this new guy is someone you really want to be with.
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Eh, if you really see yourself happier with your friend then i would end it now. Why bother living the lie any longer? If your boyfriend ever found out that this was how you felt the entire summer you were together, don't you think that would probably hurt him even more?
It sounds like emotionally the friend has already replaced the boyfriend, right?
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