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Will this relationship devastate my parents?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 March 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 March 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *onksDaBomb writes:

I probably know the answer to this already but wanted to get various viewpoints (male, female, young, old) and see what you all had to say.

I graduated from college three years ago. I was friends with one of my professors while I was still a student and ever since i graduated we have become very good friends. I only thought he was cute and a great person to talk to; he, on the other hand, initiated the flirting even when I was his student (calling me names in front of the class/teasing me so I'd blush, always giving me a big smile when he saw me, eye contact, quickly patting me on the back walking past).

We spent a lot of time together last summer where our flirting escalated; I started flirting too only because his flirting to me made me feel good so I flirted back. We'd sit very close together so that our knees would come close to touching, lots of eye contact and smiling.

We have kept in touch a lot through email and talking on the phone; most of his emails were teasy, flirty ones.

The last time we saw each other I was home for christmas. We met for coffee and talked for over two hours. Lots of eye contact and once we gazed in each other's eyes for several seconds. Later, he gave me an open invitation to his house the next time I'm home.

I am coming home for Easter and I've told him, which he replied that it was good news and practically told me when he'd be off for break. We're definitely going to get together. I really, really like him and honestly cannot stop thinking about him. I don't know what's going on with him; he's been acting sort of hot and cold on me ever since that Christmas meeting; ignoring me for two months and now he's talking to me again. His birthday is coming up and it's a milestone one (he'll be 60) so I'm sure that's on his mind (perhaps about me, too, thinking "who am I kidding?") I'm 25. There's definitely a spark between us.

Do you think there's a chance between us? There's an obvious attraction between us but do you think he truly likes me but is too shy to say his feelings?

And do you think this type of relationship would anger/disturb my parents?

View related questions: christmas, flirt, shy, spark

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009):

I'm sorry, I meant to say "However, know that caring and considerate parents will more often than not, be wary of all people that enter your life..."

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009):

Without observing him in person while you two were in contact, it would be inaccurate to gauge what his feelings for you are like. However, from the way you worded your comment, it seems you already have a more definitive idea of what his feelings for you are.

The next step you may take is not wondering whether he wants to be with you or not, but how you can further influence the balance that leans towards you. In other words, what you can further do to help assure him that you and him can make an optimal couple.

Please know that "optimal" is different than that of "optimistic".

As for your parents, like the interpretation with your love interest, we cannot give you an accurate assessment. We would only be able to guess for you which is a flip of the coin. However, know that caring and considerate parents will more often than not, be wary of all people that enter your love, whether that be a co-worker, friend, lover or business/research partner.

How you deal with this, is solely how you deal with them with all of your other issues anyway.

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A female reader, MonksDaBomb United States +, writes (14 March 2009):

MonksDaBomb is verified as being by the original poster of the question

MonksDaBomb agony auntDo you honestly think he likes me? A friend of mine said she thought part of the reason he was so quiet during that two-month stretch was he realized how much he ws flirting and now was weighing the pros and cons about "us." Do you think his feelings for me are that strong?

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A female reader, bd2009 United States +, writes (14 March 2009):

of course its going to disturbe your parents. parents want you with someone your age not with such a great age difference.

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