A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:hinot sure what to do...left my husband 9 years ago after being married `16 years - he was controlling, with money, kids, my life ..eg wouldn't let my family take my daughters out for walks when they were babies, let me have their hair cut or buy clothes for them without asking him first. wanted receipts and change for the shopping and made me feel guilty about buying clothes for myself.I left him the big house and got some money to start again.I met someone else. He was a big earner. but he took all the equity from the house and now I am 46 with a mortgage until i am 70...my 18 year old daughter lives with her dad and i pay him child support for her. my 16 year old lives with me and he pays me support for her..i am on low income and get child and working tax credit. my ex hubby has once again paid off his mortgage, has abrand new car has big hols, but tells my `16 yr old he gives me money for her... which works out around ~£10 a month.I am struggling financially to make ends meet. can't afford holidays or anything flash. my daughter keeps wanting things and saying "dad gives you money for me"~.....to top it all, i have met someone else. #he doesn't live with me, but stays sometimes. my daughter doesn't like him and is even nastier to me when he is here.when he isn't at my house, she can be ok, but she treats me the same way my ex hubby did.the man i have just met, treats me really nice, doesn't control me, but sometimes he does get me rattled by things he says when things are serious and he jokes about the situation.I don't know what to doI have been controlled by 2 men, now I feel my 16 year old is doing the same.she doesn't like my new b/f staying.shouts at me if i ask her things about college...i more or less wait on her, she goes to college 3 days a week and does what she wants for the restshe says she hates living with me and can't wait till she is 18i seem to go from hating my ex husband. (i met him when i was 15 , msrried at 22 - left him at 38)to hating my ex partner...to feeling suicidal and wanting to get out of it allto top it all i have chronic pain in the left side of my face, which i have had around 7 years.
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female
reader, xxsecretsxx  +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Wow. That is a lot to deal with.
You know, if your daughter can't see that she is ruining your chances at a relationship she needs a wake up call.
Don't do her laundry, make her do it.
Don't do the dishes that she put in the sink let her learn a lesson.
And make sure the guy knows that you care, your sorry about the way your daughter treats him, and you are trying to stop her behavior.
Good luck dear.
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