A
male
age
30-35,
*kelligon
writes:I'm 16 in a few days. I always feel lonely and lost even if I have a girlfriend. I guess I just feel different from everyone else. Maybe it's a self-confidence thing. Does anyone think that losing my virginity will help this a little? I mean, I want it to be perfect and everything but I have serious commitment issues and I just don't see it happening. Please help. Thank you.
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male
reader, dannabo  +, writes (12 February 2009):
 Having sex will certainly not help you. However you need to talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling. Do you have a dad? Or other trusted person. You are a good person because you are concerned about yourself. Having sex may cause you t feel even worse and guilty.
A
female
reader, Ginger girl 16 +, writes (31 July 2008):
Ok i think losing your virginity is the wrong way to go. its not going to help your self confidence. Think of the good things about yourself i'm sure your a great guy and you shouldn't rush anything.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (31 July 2008):
 NO, losing your virginity will not help your confidence at all and at 16 you SHOULD have commitment issues! You are too young to be making a serious commitment to a young lady. So it is natural to feel this way and nothing at all to worry about. If you still have 'commitment issues' when you are in your 20s then you should worry, but not now!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (31 July 2008):
 Not if she laughs at your small penis and tells everyone you came in 5 seconds.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (31 July 2008):
Losing your virginity will almost certainly NOT help your "self-confidence thing". Although I don't know you, I suspect that getting laid will have the opposite effect.
Instead of allowing pop psychology to tell you what you are, and how you have "self-confidence" problems or "commitment issues", find somebody who actually knows you and let that person tell you what you seem to be. That person who knows you might even be yourself, but I suspect it's probably an older person you've had face-to-face contact with. People like teachers, coaches, Scout leaders, youth pastors, sometimes uncles or aunts or even older brothers and sisters can give you an honest opinion. Most people your own age are probably poor choices - they're still figuring out what THEY are and haven't put much thought into what YOU are.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (31 July 2008):
 no.. losing your virginity will not help your confidence. Most likely you'll get all stressed over it. You don't sound like your ready. you are still young, there is no rush. When your ready you will know it and wouldn't have to ask.
to help your confidence, you should focus on your good qualities and not on the bad. Join clubs, make new friends. Get active. When you feel accomplished then you will be happier.
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