A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Totally confused over here right about now.........I like a woman who I thought was married because she wore what looked like a wedding ring on her wedding ring finger. At first I thought it wasn't, it looked too plain not a band type ring then I looked again and it did but after getting to know this woman more she's told me she isn't married at all. Why would you women wear a ring on your wedding ring finger if you aren't married? It had put me off her as I didn't want to split up her marriage. Plus, seems as she's told me that, does that mean she wanted to me to know so I'd ask her out? Its made me do the complete opposite, I'm scared now she's single what to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): I don't think the left third ring finger is reserved ONLY for wedding rings. Just that most married people who choose to wear their wedding rings (and many married couples I know choose not to) do so on that finger that's all. Some women wear wedding rings just to discourage men from flirting with them since the intrusion can be tiresome. That doesn't stop a lot of men, though.Other men wear wedding rings because they think its a status symbol to show the world that they managed to get at least one woman to commit to sleeping with them on a regular basis. My husband and I are one of many people we know including friends and family, who do not wear any wedding rings or wedding bands. We just don't see the point. And "tradition " is not a logical reason to do something. If you're a jewellery type person who likes to wear lots of rings then sure wear a wedding ring too. But neiher of us are jewellery or accessory type people so what's the point.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): I think a lot of girls are unaware of which ring is actually their ring finger, lol. I didn't know which finger it was (I don't normally wear rings, if I do they're just costume and on my right hand) until my boyfriend bought me a promise ring, which is also to be worn on the ring finger before engagement. Like a lot of the posters said, though, a lot of women wear it simply for fashion, the size of the ring/finger, or to keep guys from asking them on dates!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2013): It is far more common than you think. I wear a large blue topaz solitaire on my "traditional" wedding ring finger, and it was a gift from my parents several years ago. It does keep about 15% of the creepers at bay, and truly advertises my "taken" status to the masses.
I think it's beautiful. Because of the way we're socialized, wearing it on my ring finger feels more "significant" and "fitting" than wearing it on any other finger. More aesthetically pleasing, as it were. When I do get engaged, this ring will be put back in the jewelry box.
Short answer, it's just another finger. Perhaps it signifies to her that she WISHES it were an engagement ring on that finger...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 September 2013):
 Because jewelery is not only permitted for married ladies.
and if she likes the way the ring looks on that finger then that's why.
you could ASK HER why SHE chooses to wear a band like ring on her left hand ring finger....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2013): I used to wear my mother's ring on my ring finger because it was the only finger it fit on, until I went on a date with a guy and he asked me if I was married/engaged because of it.
I had no idea that people would actually think I was married (I was quite young at the time) Basically, just ask her, she might be like me and not realise the message she is sending out.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 Dude thats common many single women wear rings to keep men from approaching them. Its their passive way of saying eff off. In ur case it seems like shes letting her guard down a little if shes telling u she isnt actually married.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 September 2013):
 Maybe that is the only finger it fits on?
It's called a RING FINGER, not Wedding Ring Finger.
Before I got married I had a family heirloom that I would wear on my ring finger. Since I'm left handed I wore on my left ring finger.
It's not like you can't wear a ring on your ring finger unless it's a wedding ring.
Or she wears it so that guy will not hit on her. Just like some guy will WEAR a ring on their RING finger to attract women.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): I used to be tangentially involved with the music industry in my local area, and at one point in my early twenties I had to work with a promoter who was widely known to make passes at young women and then cause problems for them if they refused his advances (getting them blacklisted from venues, etc.)
I didn't want to deal with his $&%#, so at the advice of the male colleague who warned me about him, I wore a plain band on my "wedding" finger and when he inevitably came on to me I simply said I was married. This allowed me to turn him down in a way that was final and definitive but didn't hurt his pride, require me to tell him he was a revolting pig, etc.
Pretty random, right? And not the kind of back story you'd have been able to infer if you ran into me on the street during that time frame.
My point with this is that any given woman is going to have her own reason(s) for presenting herself as married when she really isn't, so you should probably ask the woman in question what HER reason happens to be. Just be aware that if you come off as overly curious she probably *will* assume that you're interested, whether you're actually interested or not. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 I wonder why you are scared now that you find out the woman you like is single? Shouldn't you be happy?
And what's up with asking "us, women" why "we" do this or that, we're not a collected mind you know. If you want to know why she wears that ring then ask her, not us. I don't know why she does it. Probably because it's just a ring that is pretty and it fits on that finger?
I've worn rings and they don't make a difference on how many men approach me. You sound like a very nervous man to be so put off by this, perhaps you're really looking for an excuse to not approach her? And now you find out you don't have any excuses, so you get scared?
No one is forcing you to ask her out if you don't want to ask her, even if there are no reasons why not to ask her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): She might be lying and saying she isnt married when she is!
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (8 September 2013):
 Maybe all her other fingers are to fat ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): It's keeps men from leaning on me when I am out.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 Not all married people wear rings on their wedding finger (I know this to my cost), maybe its the finger the ring felt best on, or fitted best, or maybe she is unaware of which finger signifies single ness or not, maybe she thinks wearing a ring to show your married state is an out-dated tradition or maybe she just doesn't care .....
There are other ways to determine a person's availability, or not, that would be much more reliable than seeing if people are wearing stuff on their fingers or not, and that would be communication, communication, communication. If you had struck up a conversation, and she was happily committed in a relationship you would have known very quickly.
AND, excuse me for being so blunt, but what is so wonderful about you that you could cause a split in the marriage simply by approaching a woman. So, if you are put off, leave it at that, but if you want to know what was meant by her words or her actions, you need to COMMUNICATE with her.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 September 2013):
 Why might a woman wear a ring on her 'wedding ring finger'?
-a family ring
-don't want to have men asking for number or a date, etc.
-separated or divorced but not yet ready to date anyone
When I was single I had a job that required a lot of travel and customer contact. I wore a ring when I didn't want to deal with a client who was a bit too 'friendly.' I didn't want to have that awkward moment of telling him to back off, leave me alone, I wasn't interested!
You seem to be over thinking this. Why not simply ask her about that ring on that finger? "June, you wear a ring on what is traditionally the engagement or wedding ring finger. Any reason why?"
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A
female
reader, babyzbird  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 You can always ask her on a date and see how that goes.
How long have you known her for?
Have you considered asking her why she wears a ring on her wedding finger?
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