A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months and love him very much. We've had some problems that we've worked through, mainly to do with his past. One issue was he used to frequent strip clubs, which I am 100% not okay with, but I have since come to terms with and accepted that he has grown out of that phase. However, he became friends with a stripper who he met on duty there. They were ACTUAL friends and she had a lot to do with why he decided strip clubs were not okay-- she had some really upsetting experiences. HOWEVER, they had a "friends with benefits" relationship up until 5 months until we met-- after he'd moved from Miami to Orlando, where we met. He even told me she was the best sex he ever had (though he now says I take the title).My problem is, he mentioned to me several months back that she had messaged him to say something along the lines of she was happy to see he was in good company (meaning me). However, I couldn't sleep tonight and was nosing through his messages (they're pretty boring, I wasn't being jealous, just bored and couldn't sleep) and got the idea to see if he'd exchanged any messages with her. I know, I shouldn't have, but... I did.It turns out what he'd mentioned to me actually stemmed from HIM messaging HER when he was in Miami over Christmas to let her know he was in town for a few days-- to which she answered she was actually in Orlando and had wanted to visit him and had been thinking a lot about him but saw he was in "good company" and didn't want to "interrupt".Why would he try to visit her when he knows how uncomfortable I am with it?! Was he just being friendly? If he had seen her, he absolutely would have had to lie to me about it. They had sex all of the times he saw her when he visited Miami since he moved to Orlando (until we were together... as far as I know). Should I confront him? He didn't contact her the last time he was there that I know of... but he's going again in a couple of weeks. Do I confront him? Do I wait and see? Do I let it go? I'm thinking of dropping a "Are you sure I can trust you not to try and see "her" again?" before he goes... help?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 June 2012):
More to the point, why would you stay with him if this is what he wants to do?
And in answer to your question, I agree with the post below. He does it because he can.
Ditch him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2012): "Why would my boyfriend try to visit his ex FWB (a stripper) when he knows how uncomfortable I am with it?"
Because he thinks he can get away with it and/or doesn't care.
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