A
male
age
41-50,
*rentLIves
writes:Why is my fiancee's mother bribing me with gas cards, when I've put on 6300 miles in the last two months? My fiancee can't drive because of her seizure disorder (though it has been getting more under control recently). We currently live 45 minutes away from each other. My fiancee's current living situation is starting to really stress her out! We are trying to save money for our future wedding and a place for us to live together. The distance is also frustrating my father. My fiancee loves her mother and doesn't really want to hurt her, but sometimes her mother can be a real pain! I am also going to RCIA classes so that we can get married in my fiancee's church and get married the right way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2013): Look, OP, even if her intention is to keep you both from living in sin, in a practical sense she's saving you money which means you can start living in sin sooner if you so choose.
You and your fiancé are both grown adults, there is nothing stopping you from living the lives that you both want except money and she's saving you a load of it.
Frankly though OP in your situation I'd take it as her being nice, trying to help you out with money so you can both start your life together properly.
Just appreciate the help as that's what it's turning out to be and if her motivations aren't exactly perfect, then who cares. It's not as if you're not going to drive to see your fiancé either way, at least this way she's helping cover the cost.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 November 2013):
 What do you mean by temptation ? In a sexual sense ? Well, yeah, I imagine that if you have a relationship and live together , that would entail having sex together, but I suppose that at 33 you are already sexually active regardless of where you live ?...
Anyway, whatever the situation is, apparently your future MIL is against unmarried people living together. That's her opinion and she has the right to express it, but.... your fiancee' is 33 , and has the right to think , and act , differently from her mom. If she wanted she could say " Bye, Mom and Dad, I am going to live with John ". I don't think it's fait to blame your MIL and her gas cards for what your fiancee' is not willing or ready to do.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2013):
 OH the follow up helps... I GET IT NOW...
the "bribe" of gas cards is to prevent "living in sin"
does fiancee want to move with you? you are both adults you can do what you want. so move in together...
so solve this:
go to the courthouse and get married.... you can still have a big wedding party when you can afford it and renew your vows....
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (21 November 2013):
Why do you say that she is bribing you with gas cards ? Has she asked you , explicitly or not, to do something that otherwise you would not want to do, in change of those gas cards ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2013): OP could it be that she's such an evil bitch that she knows that having to pay for your own gas would mean you'd have less money to save for the wedding you and her daughter dream of?
That she's such a malevolent whore she wants to make life a little easier for you both financially when she knows that you have the sole burden of doing all the driving?
What an evil cow! How dare she help out her future son in law!!!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2013):
How is she trying to bribe you with gas cards?
if your fiancee can't drive and you are doing all the driving the gas cards are her way of saying thank you and pulling her weight...
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A
male
reader, BrentLIves +, writes (21 November 2013):
BrentLIves is verified as being by the original poster of the question I understand her mom and trying to help but my fiancee is not happy at home anymore. And we're 33 years old. It's like her mom doesn't want us to have her own life with me. I'm putting way too many miles on my car. Gas doesn't really help the wear and tear on my car especially I can't afford to buy a new one right now. Her mom is so against us living together cause of temptation.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (21 November 2013):
 The only vested interested she has is that you keep her daughter happy and she probably is helping her daughter by giving you gas money coz her daughter cannot drive to you. Its just a mum looking out for her daughter.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 November 2013):
 I think she is maybe just trying to help out? If you are the one who drives ALL the time to pick up/drop of your fiancee it could be that she is just trying to be nice. Not all people give gifts with strings attached.
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