A
male
age
30-35,
*harter114
writes:If I'm a virgin at 18, why do people say it's okay? I know for a fact that all those numbers people come up with about how many people lie about having sex is complete crap. There are more people around me who either have kids that are 2 or 3, or who are going to court for custody than I can count. Being a virgin puts me beneath them. Why should I be proud?If I can't get a girl, I'm not a man. That's pretty much how I was raised, what I experienced in high school, and the way life is around here. I your a virgin, your picked on by jocks, and ignored by girls. Except me. I've had girlfriends before, but once they found out I was a virgin, things went downhill fast. And why do people say there's pressure in taking someone's virginity? What does that mean? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Charter114 +, writes (31 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEventually...eventually...
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (31 May 2012):
You can't get a girl because you're desperate and see problems that aren't there. It makes gals run for the hills even if your other qualities are exactly what they look for in a guy. Once you broadcast that vibe, people know you're going to be a chore to be with because you're so insecure. Insecure people are also known to be very clingy, which is not good. Those things are a turn off, not your virginity.
Since it's become such a huge issue in your life it's preventing you from enjoying it, I think you should seek professional help. Nothing anything of us has said so far has helped change your mind, so I think you need help putting things in perspective. Also, getting drunk and doing drugs is not all it's cracked up to be. Look at Lindsay Lohan. She's living the whole drugs, sex and alcohol lifestyle and I can guarantee you I am happier than she is not doing all those things excessively (except drugs, I don't do those at all).
I suggest you get away from the TV, internet or whatever source gave you this warped view on life, get some professional help and go out meet some real people of flesh and blood.
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reader, Charter114 +, writes (31 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat makes sex such a big deal? And why can't I let it go that I'm stuck being a virgin, and I will be for God knows how long...? And how long can it possibly take? I'm tired of missing out on everything in life. I've never been drunk, never gotten high...I've done everything I could to keep my self respect...to make other people respect me...but I can't even get a girl...
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 May 2012):
 “many special someone's can there possibly be?”
There are lots and lots of special someones…. And everyone’s special someone is different from other peoples…
Sex is not intimate. Lovemaking is. As a former swinger I can tell you that going through the motions of the sex act is different from making love. And sex without intimacy is meaningless, empty and NOTHING.
The brain is the most sexual organ we have. The mind is amazing. I wish I had handled life differently. But at 52 all I can do is look back and say “if only”…. Personally while sex is nice I’d rather be in an intimate relationship where the sex is just the way we express our love.
I will never go back to the swinger lifestyle. I want and need that emotional connection to the person I’m in bed with. Anything else is just going through the motions and that’s a waste of time and energy.
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reader, dougbcoll +, writes (30 May 2012):
 why is "sex an intimate act"? because it involves two people giving them self to each other, sharing the most personal deepest parts of them self with someone else "body, soul,mind,heart,emotions" .it is a time when a person lets their guard down, and allows someone else to enter there lives in the closest fashion. its a time when a person surrenders their rights to someone else, and allows them to be part of them. what does " waiting for that special someone even mean"? not to rush and or throwaway the opportunity to give ones self to someone that may enter your life only once. rushing into sex with someone, and looking back wishing that it would have been saved , or had waited on that one person that has entered your life. that one person you just know down in your soul you that you were made for each other, and cant see yourself being with anyone else. " if its just waiting to meet someone you want to lose it to, then how many special someones can there possibly be?" you said it well "waiting to meet someone to lose it to" . they would not be special at all. you would be using them to disguard your virginity. they would be there for your purpose only. the more people you have sex with the less special it will be. you are giving a little of your heart , and deepest parts of you away. " how many special someones can there possibly be". you can have sex with as many people as you want but you will be the one removing anything special from it and yourself. the choice is yours in the end, all i can say is choose wisely . you can't undo, you can't go back. but you can regret.
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 May 2012):
 Why is sex intimate? Well, maybe you're one of those who wants to do it in public in front of other people and maybe with several people at the same time as well, but most of us want it to be a private and intimate thing, seeing as you are going to be butt naked and sharing something special with someone special.
There's "sex", and there's "making love". Making love feels great. Sex.. well, plain sex, without intimacy of any sort, is just as special and great as your own hand.
And yeah, special someone you want to lose it to can be just about anyone YOU think fits you and someone you want to do it with. There can be several "special someone", but it isn't a "random someone".
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reader, Charter114 +, writes (30 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy is sex an "intimate act"? And what does "waiting for that special someone" even mean? If it's just waiting to meet someone you want to lose it to, then how many special someone's can there possibly be?
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reader, N91  +, writes (28 May 2012):
 Right person = Someone who is special or means something to you.
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reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 May 2012):
Of course you have a choice OP. You always have a choice. Like chi girl said, waiting for the right person usually means losing it with someone you have feelings for opposed to just a one night stand. This usually makes the experience much more enjoyable, because people in general view sex as an expression of love since it's such an intimate act.
As for waiting, you can't expect to find someone when you're not putting yourself out there where other people can meet and notice you. By waiting, people mean not just bearing it all for the first girl that comes across.
You seriously have to stop viewing yourself as some powerless victim in the big scheme of life and take charge. For god's sake, you're just 18. When I was 18, half of my classmates were virgins. There's nothing wrong with NOT being a walking STD factory. Stop putting such an insane amount of pressure on yourself. Losing the pessimistic attitude also helps.
Everyone gets rejected plenty of times. That's the nature of the game. Some more than others, but it's never been a competition. So stop viewing it as such.
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reader, chigirl +, writes (28 May 2012):
When people say "wait for the right person" they usually do not mean "wait until marriage". Some do, sure, if they are old school and religious. But what most people mean when they say that is that the "right" person is someone YOU define as being right. There is no ONE person who is "right", there can be 20 or more who are "right" to have sex with. All it means is that you should get to know a person first, feel comfortable around them, that they respect you, and that preferably you love each other. Although that doesn't have to be a criteria for you unless it's something you want.
And by "wait" we do not mean sit passively in a corner and wait until someone lands on your head. By wait we mean hold back, don't throw yourself naked at a woman first chance you get and take just about whatever you can. Such as sleeping with someone you feel disgusted with, but you do it just to "get it over with". By "wait", people mean "be patient". And by "right person" we mean "someone you actually like and who likes you back". The "right" person isn't necessarily the one you'll marry, or have a long term relationship with, or have a future with. The right person is the one who it feels right for you to do this with. And YOU decide who is the right one.
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reader, Charter114 +, writes (28 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been getting a lot of advice recently about sex and virginity...I don't know how to feel about it anymore. Some people say it's a big deal, others say it's not. I'm getting tired of people saying "wait for the right person" though. How can I wait for one person? Why bother? The chances of one person being the right person, and me meeting them soon (if at all) are microscopic. But I guess I don't have a choice, huh?
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reader, maverick494 +, writes (27 May 2012):
I was a virgin until 22. I know a guy who is still a virgin at 20, and he's very good looking and sociable. A friend of mine is a virgin at 23. She looks like Natalie Portman (not kidding). I don't live in the outskirts of the country either and neither of us is religious. Seriously, virgins at your age are not the endangered species everyone says they are. It's more common than you might think.
I know more than one person who lied through their teeth about having sex in order to 'fit in.' Don't make virginity into a huge problem. You're better off having no history than having too much history. I think your problem is your attitude. You keep putting yourself down, seeing obstacles that haven't even presented themselves, etc. Your biggest obstacle is you.
Look around. There are many average looking guys walking around with stunners of girlfriends. The other way around happens a lot as well. Looks only carry a person so far. It helps, but in the end it also prevents them from meeting people because of being 'out of their league.' Forget leagues. Put yourself out there and see what happens.
You already have "no", you can get "yes."
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reader, N91 +, writes (27 May 2012):
Well if they're telling you that you're not good enough, then they're obviously not the right person for you anyway, the more you think about it, the more it's gonna get you down and piss you off.
Just go with the flow, it's going to happen, there is no need to fret.
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reader, Charter114 +, writes (27 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt should be illegal to take this long. :P
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reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (27 May 2012):
 Unfortunately, that's kind of how the dating game works for everyone. Virgin or not.
It just takes some time!
You know how many guys I went through just to find my boyfriend?
Quite a few.
It's not that you're any less of a man or that you aren't good enough, it's just that those women just aren't attracted to you. Just like how those guys weren't attracted to me.
Eventually you just find someone who clicks.
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reader, Charter114 +, writes (27 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut one can only take so much refusal before depression sets in, and while it's true that it's not a contest, it damages your self esteem being shot down...a lot of times I feel like I'm just not good enough. :/ but I've been told that before.
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reader, N91 +, writes (26 May 2012):
There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, it's just that certain members of society decide to poke fun at people for not having sex, which is a sad state of affairs, but it happens. I'm 20 now and lost mine around this time last year, I wasn't ashamed that I was 19 when it happened and my friends lost their's about 3 years before me, why should I be? It's not a competition, it was with someone that it was special with and that's the main thing.
If girls can't deal with you being a virgin, then it clearly shows that they're immature and not worth it anyway, you'll find the right person for you soon enough, but please don't get down over it, no need to whatsoever.
Hope this helps
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reader, chigirl +, writes (26 May 2012):
You can't say no girl wants you though until you've asked them all. There's only ONE way to find out what girls you have a chance with, and that's trying!
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reader, Charter114 +, writes (26 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIve always heard that...I dunno though...I just doubt I'd do well with a girl who's attractive enough to have trouble getting a date... .
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reader, chigirl +, writes (25 May 2012):
"Since I started reading you guys' responses I've decided I can't date anyone who's similar in any way to my exes, I can't date anyone not in my age range, I can't date anyone who's not a virgin, and I can't date anyone who I have too much in common with."
You lost me there, sorry. What do you mean? Date anyone you like, don't be so worried about technicalities. You can date a virgin, and just because a majority of girls wont date you doesn't mean no one will. The majority of men in the world wouldn't want me, but I still get tons of offers. Now, being a girl I have an easier time with this, because men are supposed to be the ones who chase, and women are supposed to sit idly by and wait to get hit on.
But in any case, I didn't get hit on, or asked out, one single time when I was younger. First time it happened I was 18, but it mounted up to nothing really. And I'm what they call attractive, yet I did not get much attention. I asked a guy I knew from high school and he said he thought I could have anyone I wanted, and that guys were leering at me and saying I had an amazing body etc. But NO ONE made a move on me in high school.
So my answer will be: yes, you are paranoid. Unless you've befriended and asked out every single girl at your school you can not say that NO ONE wanted you. Guys are supposed to chase the girls, that's what we've been taught. So girls not throwing themselves at you is understandably, we're taught not to. You need to go pick them up, and I dare you to ask out a girl you're actually interested in and see what she says. But first, strike up a conversation, be it about the weather or whatever random.
If a guy, almost ANY guy, asked me out in high school I'd probably have said yes. But that didn't really happen. And years later I've been told how amazingly hot the guys thought I was... It's ironic. Hot girls aren't as unattainable as you might think.
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reader, Charter114 +, writes (25 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut that's the problem...I don't just focus on sex or the popular girls. They're out of my league, and while sex has always been a big thing with me, I've more been looking for someone who wasn't bat crap crazy. No luck there either. I'm out of high school, and I havnt talked to more than 5 friends since I got out. "friends". 2 are girls, and I've only talked to them 2 times each. They aren't even girls I'm interested I'm and I can't talk to them...I'm not trying to throw a pity party, I just want to figure out why people want to be virgins...what about that makes them happy? And why do people say girls like guys who are virgins? I've met one girl who'd prefer a virgin to a guy who's not. :/
And now...now even if I could find a girl who would date me, things are tougher. Since I started reading you guys' responses I've decided I can't date anyone who's similar in any way to my exes, I can't date anyone not in my age range, I can't date anyone who's not a virgin, and I can't date anyone who I have too much in common with.
Am I being paranoid or stupid?
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reader, chigirl +, writes (25 May 2012):
You're still a kid. The real world hasn't started for you just yet. Wait until you get out of high school, or first years of college or wherever you are. Get a real job in the real world where you are surrounded by adults, and not teenagers, and you'll see a big difference.
Jeez, guys ignored me all until I hit 18-20 as well, but I don't go around throwing a pity party over that. That's normal! Teenage boys are not that attractive or mature, girls are rarely interested, and the only girls the GUYS are into are the "hotties" and popular girls who spread their legs easily... yeah, see my point??
The girls ignore you because you're ignoring them. You're only looking for sex and focusing on what women are popular and how to have sex with them. What normal sane girl would be interested in you when THAT is your primary focus?
Open your eyes to the rest of the girls out there and aim at a proper relationship based on mutual interests, instead of who you can bang the fastest to become a "man".
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reader, Charter114 +, writes (25 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hate that thought...learning process...it's embarrassing...having to "learn from experience". It just makes things worse. And what you said is the main problem. About the no other woman thing...it's a major downer, especially for me. I've always been ignored by girls. From middle school to high school, and now on into the real world. It's like that anonymous poster said: Girls always say you would make a great boyfriend for someone else, but they aren't actually going to date you.
I've experienced that a lot. It's depressing, knowing that no girl wants to be with you. No girl wants to be near you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2012): A good guy friend had thought the same thing when he was pushing twenty. He complained so much about it I eventually just had sex with him to shut him up. Our circle of friends don't know who the "mystery one night stand was," but at least he feels mature now. I say mature because honestly I can't write italics on my phone to show how sarcastic I was about that word. Virginity is a double edged sword and the other guys might look at you like some kind of pariah, but the truth is half of them are virgins or no girl in their decent mind wants to touch them. Personally, with the exception of "sir whines-a-lot", my current boyfriend was a virgin and i love the fact no other woman has touched him. He is molded to what I want and need, and in turn I know exactly what he likes. Sex is a learning process. Find someone who will take the time to both teach and learn with you. When is not important.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2012): You've been watching too many coming of age movies and listening to too much bullshit in school.
Jocks are cock waving asshats why would you listen to them? These so called men like to whip each others arses in the shower with towels and suck each other off as part of "hazing" rituals, not exactly what I would consider prime masculinity. And I know no girl who got pregnant young that is proud of that fact or doesn't wish they had waited.
Who cares how you were raised? I was raised getting punches in the face because I didn't eat a man size meal completely when I was 8, is that how I should behave?
You're a man now, make your own way in the world, live your life how you want to live it and don't let society pressure you with bullshit.
"we all wish we could get with the hot chicks, the popular chicks"
No we don't, I never had time for popular chicks at all. I wanted to girls who could hold a deep conversation with me I went for the girls who were intelligent, shy, thoughtful and had great fun dating them. I have boned a hell of a lot of hot chicks and popular ones too, want to know a fact? The popular girls were never as good as the intelligent thoughtful ones although saying that you'd be surprized how many of those popular girls are actually really insightful and intelligent. But in general the "average" girls are so much more horny, open to experimentation and eager to please. Popular girls are jock meat and I can't see how any guy would see that as a sexy trait.
"They treated me much differently than their exes, just because Im a virgin. Virginity is a curse, no if's, ands, or buts."
Hahahahaha-hahahaha-ha!
That's funny because every single other person on this planet was or is a virgin and it wasn't a curse for most of us.
I lost my virginity at 20 and was completely fine with that. I had plenty of girlfriends in the decade before I did and not one of them gave a crap about the fact that I was virgin because as I said I don't go for superficial women to date. It was only later in life when I decided to go on a casual sex rampage did I actually go for superficial girls and I treated them superficially. I've slept with nearly a 100 women in the past decade and I can safely say the best sex was with an "average" girl and in a relationship.
So let all those idiots go around and boast about their conquest, dump the loser women that think virginity is a curse and just get on with things.
The truth is OP it's not your virginity that's a curse, it's your attitude, it stinks.
You have no sense of individuality, pride in yourself or anything like that. That's what girls dump you for. You speak of anger, shame and virginity as a curse, we whoop-di-fucking-do, cry me a river. You feel yourself a failure because you don't fit in, well newsflash women like guys who stand out. They don't care whether you're a virgin or not but who wants to date someone who is insecure and thinks of themselves as failures in life?
No one wants to date a guy with so little confidence that he blames how he was raised, is bitter because he thinks women won't like him because he's a virgin.
That's your real curse and that's what you need to sort out.
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reader, chigirl +, writes (24 May 2012):
Virginity isn't a curse, lol. If so then we're all cursed, because we've all been virgins.
Get a bit thicker skinned, that's what you need. Stop being so easily influenced that you will let others dictate how you should feel and what you should do and who you should look up to. You're not a doll. You have your own brain. Being adult is about standing on your own two feet and thinking for yourself. Not getting laid. If you want to be an adult then stop being so easily influenced. Only dead fish follow the current, that's a saying we've got. Or we make "baaa" sounds, as if you are a sheep, if you can't think on your own and always follow the herd.
Don't be a dead fish. Don't be a stupid sheep. Don't let others dictate how you should feel. Besides, all of this nonsense you describe now is not real life. It's what teenagers and immature sheep are telling you, and acting like. Once THEY grow up, this sort of immature treatment of others will disappear. Once THEY stop being sheep, they'll stop looking up to someone who's only special feature is being a slut (lets face it, the "popular" men you describe are sluts).
Once people stop caring, you wont feel this sort of "special treatment". And if you've managed to NOT become a sheep by then, you'll be fine. But if you do become a sheep you'll spend your coming years feeling low about being a virgin long after everyone else stopped caring.
Didn't your mom ever ask you "if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you as well?". This is the exact same. Everyone is telling you to do something that isn't healthy, smart, mature, or particularly great in any way, just to "follow the herd". And you are soooo eager to follow the herd that you get all depressed about it when you can't do it. That's a sheep for you. Be man and an adult and THINK on your own. I'm telling you, your virginity is not making you less of a man.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2012): Its just the old double standard, men are cool for having lots of sex and women are sluts, etc. People forget that it cuts both ways.
Guys who haven't have a lot of sex get a very hard time of it just like promiscuous females do. Other guys give you shit about it. Girls always say you would make a great boyfriend for someone else, but they aren't actually going to date you.
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reader, Charter114 +, writes (23 May 2012):
Charter114 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's all about whether or not you can "get some". If you can't, then you can't consider yourself an adult. People who can get with a girl now days...they're the ones we look up to. They're the popular people who we all wish we could be. Virgins are the ones with the targets on their backs.Virgins are treated differently from people who aren't. On top of that there's the same old story: we all wish we could get with the hot chicks, the popular chicks, etc. That's the only important thing to us. To me especially. I've dated girls who jumped into sex before. I knew them all before sedated, and I always had to hear about their relationship problems, but when we dated, and we talked about it...they just make me angry. They treated me much differently than their exes, just because Im a virgin. Virginity is a curse, no if's, ands, or buts.
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reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 May 2012):
 It's OK to be a virgin at age 18 for the very same reason that it's OK to be a virgin at age 30, or 40 or 90.... because you haven't found someone who makes you want to put out for them.....
What IS IT with you young people that you think there is some "schedule" that you're supposed to follow for life's incidents???????
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2012): All of this does not mean a thing after high school...it really doesn't. You have girls who think they need to do whatever with a guy to keep him...and the guys who brag about what they've done with these girls is only a sign of immaturity, which is typical at that age...however, it doesn't make it acceptable behavior. young people ARE waiting to have sex for the first time when they are a bit older...it just doesn't seem to be the case in the area you live in, and you really should be glad you are not part of that sad statistic where you live. You have your entire life ahead of you and when you are ready for it and you find a respectable girl, practice safe sex and don't end up like the rest of those kids who did not.I'm sorry you were raised being told this, because it's so far from true. A real man, doesn't go out and try to hump everything and anything to prove their manhood. A real man will have sex when they are ready for it and can handle the responsibility that comes with it...it's not a child decision to make, it's an adult one and there are way too many children making careless decisions and having sex and look what it got them?The problem is, all the talk amongst each other....how about everybody shut up about their personal sex life because it's nobody's business??? I'm sorry, but I can venture to guess, the guys who talk the most about it are the ones who are having the least of it...seriously, they are. Some things never change, it's just how it is.Girls are more caring and compationate about this kind of stuff, even *sometimes* the sluts who sleep with anyone. The "pressure" can go both ways if one is a virgin and the other is not....in your case, if the girl is not, she is thinking about if the two of you are long term and should she be the one to lose your virginity to, where a real guy would be thinking that as well. The ones who have been in a committed relationship and had sex, but the relationship didn't work out...well, that's life, and if you happen to meet one of those girls, if they really care for you and really want to be in a relationship with you, they will not mind at all that you are still a virgin and they will respect you. If they don't or run for the hills, they are not the kind of person you want in your life anyway. The right one WILL come along, and when the time is right, it will happen. You are NOT beneath them....get that out of your head, it's so not true!!!
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reader, dougbcoll +, writes (23 May 2012):
you are 18 , so i take it you are almost out of high school. those in school with you that have trashed their virginity , some will wish they have saved it for that some one they meet in the future, some will regret looking back, and some wont think a thing about it.
the jocks in your school are nothing, but bullies that will be forgotten about after graduation , the girls that are ignoring you are the ones to not be with.
look for a girl that respects you, a girl that is mature.
find a girl with values, self respect.
" being a virgin puts me beneath them . why should i be proud"?
being a virgin does not put you beneath them, those people are immature and will meet someone and will marry someday and many will have regrets, and can't change the past.
if any thing you should look at yourself better than you are. you can only give your virginity to a girl once, and vise a verse also, and a girl can only give her virginity to a guy once.
instead of making it(sex) something selfish,for your self. make it something special.wait for that special woman in your life .
you can give it away any time , you are young. you are feeling pressure that you should not.
when you meet a girl your subject of talk should not be virginity, or sex. build a relationship let love grow.
discover each others interest, likes , dislikes.
your friends have given a lot away cheaply, and some have lied about there adventures to make them self feel more on top.
you have a choice you can go down the low road with the crowd , or take the high road .
life is full of choices , choose carefully.
i wish you the best.
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reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (23 May 2012):
If there’s any such thing as being sexually successful, it’s not about how early on in life you had sex, or how many partners. People might tell you to be proud of being a virgin because it shows that you’ve not had sex until you’re ready, but that’s no consolation when you do want to have sex and you want to lose your virginity. But what’s more important is that being a virgin at your age isn’t something to be ashamed of either, or embarrassed about. Why is it okay to be a virgin? Well, equally, why is it not okay?
Whatever your own experiences, lots of research has found that people do tell all kinds of lies about their sex lives: the number of partners, how sexually adventurous they have been and how early they lost their virginity. Just because you’ve found that most people around you have indeed had sex, it doesn’t mean that they don’t lie about their sexual history.
The thing that you need to remember is that having sex alone won’t be satisfying in the long term. The best sex comes from a loving relationship, so I’d advise you not to indulge the belief that you ought to have had sex by such and such a time, but instead to concentrate your focus on the kind of girl you’d like to have a relationship with. And you meet a girl you like, focus on getting to know her and maybe building a relationship first. Many girls would not mind you being a virgin, and they’re even more likely to accept it if they can see that you’re not embarrassed about it. Is all this easier said than done? Yes of course it is, which the people that tell you to be proud of who you are mightn’t realise. But it’s worth trying to keep this advice in mind and acting on it so that when you do have sex, it’s at the right time, with the right person. And it’s not at all the case that you’re any less of a man because you’re a virgin
Sometimes it’s hard to not think something just because people tell you it isn’t true, but you’ll just have to put a bit of faith in us. I pride myself on total honesty and not sugar-coating the truth as I see it from anyone, and how many people one has had sex with, or even being a virgin or a non-virgin aren’t factors that make person X better than person Y.
I wish you all the very best.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (23 May 2012):
Why exactly does you being a virgin but you BENEATH some people who get dragged to court over custody issues...
You really don't know your blessing, do you? This is just complaints about wanting what you don't have. Blonds want to be brunettes, brunettes want to be blond, and virgins are now jealous of those who are fighting over custody.
What are you asking us permission for anyway? To say that it is OK to be virgin? And what if I say no, what if I call you a freak of nature? Will you fall into depression, or go see a prostitute just to not be a virgin any longer?
Well let me tell you, it is OK to be a virgin. It is less okay to see a prostitute (that actually does put you below others), and it is not good at all to get depressed about this.
So people around you have slept around and forgot to wear a condom. Never the less, there are still those who DON'T. And if you raise your glance a little higher you'll see that you are by far not the only virgin left at 18.
I know that society puts a ton of pressure on you to "be a man" and have sex. But having casual sex doesn't make you a man. It makes you a man-whore, sure, but it doesn't make you a man. But realize that society puts pressure on people for no good reasons at all. Women are being pressured to having children and not feeling like women if they can't reproduce. And men are being pressured into having sex with as many people as possible...
At some point you got to look at this insane and stupid pressure and see it for what it is: complete nonsense. It doesn't make you a man if you have sex with as many as possible. It doesn't put you below anyone if you are a virgin either. All that stuff is in your head.
People do say there is "pressure" in taking someone's virginity, but that's also because it is being hyped up. Those who think it is full of pressure weren't really that into you to begin with. I know right now you might not be looking for the ONE true love of your life, but weeding out the idiots isn't going to harm you either. People who think there is pressure involved in taking your virginity aren't into you, and they aren't mature, and maybe all they wanted was sex. They are afraid that if they take your virginity you'll become clingy.
Try to keep your virginity to yourself, date, get a relationship, and then have the talk about sex and virginities. Your virginity doesn't have to be a topic until you are in a relationship.
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