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Why does he now decide he wants to do this?

Tagged as: Friends with Benefits, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2017) 8 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2017)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I've been having a fwb relationship with this guy for a few months now. My partner and I have been having unprotected sex for the last couple times we had sex. Today he decided to cum inside me. What does this mean? Is he starting to have feelings for me? Or is he just doing this cause it feels good to him?

View related questions: unprotected sex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (18 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntNo it doesn't mean he has feelings for you, it means he is disrespectful selfish and doesn't care about you. If he cared he would use protection. If it is casual then you should be more careful he can walk away from a baby you cannot. Be more responsible because honestly it sounds like he is using you and treating you as a sex doll. If he had feelings for you he would treat you with a lot more respect.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (15 February 2017):

So_Very_Confused agony auntDo not delude yourself into thinking he has any feelings for you other than the fact that you are a handy willing penis holder.

There is an old saying "women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place".

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom + , writes (14 February 2017):

02DuszJ agony auntSo- he's happy to offer NO commitment to you, whilst knowingly putting you at high risk for pregnancy...

Sounds like a GREAT GUY that really cares about you... :/

Have you actually got a brain? If you don't use any contraception you ARE guna get pregnant.

If you're under some nightmare illusion that he's going to support you, he wont... He cant even COMITT to exclusivity with you. He's shown you he hasn't got the balls/ desire for a relationship... He DOESN'T want a child. He's just that irresponsible/ naive to risk it- it's ok one off, if worst she'll get an abortion etc.

You're putting yourself at high risk for ruining your life. He can walk away. Think about your life and the unstable environment your unborn kid would have.

You're old enough to know better than this and take responsibility for your actions.

You dont live in the third world... You have access to contraception and sex ed. Dont squander your chances in life

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2017):

"What does this mean? Is he starting to have feelings for me?"

Sorry, no. You fall into the category of "good enough to ^^^k but not good enough to date."

If you think you can bang your way into his affections then you are sadly misguided or incredibly naive.

He's already getting exactly what he wants from you, so what incentive would he have to put any more effort into a relationship when you have nothing more to offer him? As things stand, he can get laid any time he wants and he doesn't even have to buy you dinner. Any perpetually horny young guy would be a fool to ditch such a convenient and cheap arrangement.

"Or is he just doing this cause it feels good to him?"

He's doing it not only because it feels good to him but also because you're dumb enough to let him AND because he knows that when (not if) he knocks you up he can just dump you, walk away and find another ^^^k buddy, leaving you stuck to deal with an unplanned pregnancy and face the harsh reality that you will very likely end up as a single mother raising the kid completely on your own with zero help from your absentee, deadbeat sperm depositor.

Sorry for the indelicate language but I want to make you acutely aware in the strongest possible terms just how reckless, irresponsible and potentially dangerous (STDs, HIV) your behavior is. There is no sugar coating it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 February 2017):

Honeypie agony auntWell, OP THAT is stupid!

Are you hoping to get pregnant to "get" him to be in a relationship with you? Or are you trying on purpose to expose yourself to as many STD's as possible?

Why is he doing it? Because YOU are letting him. If HE isn't thinking of the consequences YOU should at least, as YOU are the one who would have to carry a baby or have an abortion.

You are 18-21 - CAN you afford a child? DO you want a kid with a guy who doesn't want to date but is OK with having sex with you and unprotected sex at that?

Sorry, if I sound harsh but WHY on Earth are you doing this to yourself?

Coming inside you has nothing to do with how he feels about you. Honestly? I'd say he doesn't care TWO FIGS if he isn't concerned about YOUR well-being and future at all.

Please start using your brains here.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2017):

He may have feelings for you, but unfortunately it's just as likely that it feels good and he felt like doing it knowing you will be left with the consequences and he can walk away and carry on. You should make sure, next time, that you are in control of you're future and your health. Don't leave it to chance.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (14 February 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt He is just doing this because it feels good to him, and because you are so imprudent to let him. What's ejaculation got to do with feelings ??

It is very risky to have unprotected sex with an FWB, and I am not even talking about pregnancies, in the optimistic assumption that you are on the pill. I am talking about STDs. FWBs are non -monogamous relationships by definition, and , if he is your only sexual partner , this does not mean at all that you are , have been, or will be HIS only sexual partner.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (14 February 2017):

Denizen agony auntHe is doing it because you let him. Men don't naturally wear condoms unless required or if they feel there might be a health or pregnancy risk. Sometimes they might use them to reduce their sensitivity thereby prolonging their performance.

But don't place any emotional context on this. He loves you or he doesn't no matter what protection is in use.

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