Why does he act like he cares and then he acts like he doesn't?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am Asian and in my culture it is quite common to get married to your cousins. I understand that this is not something everyone agrees with but its very common where my family are from. My parents are first cousins too and I love there relationship and have always wanted a love like there's although not specifically in family but it is very common knowledge to me that I would have an arranged marriage within the family like my parents did ( despite being cousins they only met each other for 10 mins prior to there marriage, mum is frm UK dad from asia). So here is my story I am a 19 yr old girl and from the UK and very broadminded yet traditional and have never got involved with guys because I am overweight and lack confidence and because I have emotional issues as I was bullied at school. I finished 6th form in 2011 and started university the following September and in the last year letting go of school was hard for me as I had been there for 5 years and pretty much new everyone my whole life. I totally let go of academics and didn't concentrate at all was just into improving social status that I never received at school due to being overweight and at uni I have learnt to intergrate with people from all backgrounds and have confidence when it comes to speaking to people, however what I didn't realise over the last year is that I have been slowly shattered from inner power and confidence and don't have that drive, enthusiasm, bubbliness and determination for life anymore. As soon as the first year of uni finished I didn't really bother with the exams to be honest and sat at home for 6 months or you can say sleep I used to be in my room all day just listening to songs or sleeping or crying or looking in the mirror thinking what did I do to deserve this? My nan went abroad and had recently extended her ticket I saw a way to change environment and get away from my fussy parents and when I.came back I started speaking to my cousin who is my first cousin once removed and 25 years old. Hw asked me if I have watsapp or viber on my phone and I said I have watsapp he added me and we have been talkin since everyday including on the phone. The first month he was really into it he thought I was so different from other girls and we flirted excessively. Then slowly he started talkin less the next couple of months and when I would ask him he would reply he thought he was in love with me so backed off because if our families find out it would give me a bad reputation. But he also as the same time used to provoke and ask me how I felt and when I still didn't respond he backed off even more it got so bad that I realised that I am really in love with him and being a girl said it to him and he didn't say it back. Instead he text me saying I'm really happy you said that but please give ke some time to say it back. What does that mean? He declined further but would call me his gf and ask how I feel about him but would not tell me his feelings ever. He became less expressive and I tried to be patient but the calls and now even texts have reduced that we haven't spoken in 2 days. I called him to apologise because I have been sending huge texts venting my frustrations out about how I feel about him, my past and how his backing off is hurting me and I want to talk about it but he finds it funny and says I'm mad like other family members and he is normal. I gave him a final ultimatum of 24 hrs of what is our relationship because we have often talked about marriage, wedding nights ( we are both virgins) , kids with each other but he doesn't express anything. I have heard of hot and cold men but how can you be so expressive the first few months then when the other person comes to your level you back off? I want to know is he playing me like my friends say? Because I genuinely feel he likes parts of my persona. But now I have had enough I called him after he did not respond to my ultimatum he picked the call up and said I'm sleeping so I Hung up said ok but then 10 mins later I called again thinking what about all the nights he called me wasn't I sleeping then? He picked up frustrated and Hung up. I was so upset and angry. I gave a tough exterior but deep down I'm really sensitive and emotional but I have never let myself be so vulnerable with a guy and I shared a lot of things about myself especially emotions and he finds them a joke and that gave me a bigger breakdown. I thought he was the reason for me getting better and he is to an extent but it feels like he is messing me about and that is not ok with me. I deleted his number and viber, blocked him from Facebook and have been exaggerating being more happy and busy so he thinks I don't need him and after all that he has the guts to text me hi on watsapp 2 days in a row. I replied hi the first time then deleted him on Facebook and now just minutes ago he said hi again. I don' t understand what's happening! Why is he doing this? I'm very childish and immature mind you was always a late developer but that's part of my charm and I feel like he is taking advantage. I have spoken to a mutual cousin and she feels he is playing me and is texting hi to see if I still care about him. Why would he do that? I know I have rambled on but I wanted everyone to understand my situation and please don't judge. I just want a birds eye viewpoint and would appreciate if you can help me. Thanx

View related questions: both virgins, bullied, confidence, cousin, facebook, flirt, immature, overweight, text, university, wedding, wedding night

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