A
female
age
30-35,
*ittle-lisa
writes:i got invited to my boyfriend best mates party but fell really ill on the dy so was unable to go. later that night a my boyfriend kept ringing me but i was asleep so did not answert the phone. when i did wake up i had several missed calls. i rang back my friend who had also been ringing me and texting me telling me to answer my phone. upon answering she said somebody wants to talk you and put my boyfriend on the phone. he was copmpletly drunk and he said he didnt think it was working out and then hung up. minutes later i got another phonecall of one of the other lads at the parties saying it is just my boyfriend having a drunken sick joke.but only moments later my friend rang me again crying saying she had been used by my boyfriend. the next day he rang me crying and saying how sorry he was and asking if i would take him back. i obvs said yes because i am crazy about him.this was a week ago. i am now paranoid over if he is seeing my friend behind my back as i asked him if he wanted to meet me at lunch to celebrate my best mates birthday and that is when he asked if my friend he cheated on me with was going to be there, when i answered no he said no he wasn't then.i don't know what to do!should i stay with him? or tell him its over? i know what this girl is like she is actually a bit of a slag and she has done this sort of thing before to me can anyone tell me what to do because i am completly stuck
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (25 October 2010):
 It all depends how you feel about your boyfriend, and what he is like when he isn't drunk.
So: the facts: you couldn't make a party, so he was there on his own. He got blind drunk, as did your so-called friend. They ended up doing something, and who knows whose idea it was to say he was ending it with you. Before he went to the party he was happy with you. After the party he still wants to be with you. She is a slag and therefore not to be trusted with any boy, let alone your drunken boyfriend.
Hmm. I would keep my distance from her, and I would decide whether or not you want to keep your boyfriend. He is still yours, and he wants to be with you. If you like him, keep him. If not, ditch him. But if you keep him, tell him he is never allowed even to talk to that 'friend' again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Aunt Poppy is right here; both were in the wrong, and your boyfriend only wants to attend the party if the girl he cheated on you with would be there? Both your friend's and your boyfriend's actions are suspicious. Both participated in the game they tried to play with you. As Aunt Poppy said, show them both you aren't anyone's fool.
As for the anonymous reader who posted here, saying men have a different sex drive than women and therefore crave cheap, dirty sex is kind of a sweeping generalization. I know there are some mail Aunts on here who would beg to differ and tell you that they aren't interested in "cheap, dirty sex," and prefer to be in long-term committed relationships.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Easy as pie, ditch them both. Your friend doesn't deserve your friendship and your boyfriend doesn't deserve you either.
Yeah boys come and go but so do your friends..
Your "friend" had the nerve to wake you up in the middle of the night to have your boyfriend dump you so they could fuck around. Then she calls you for a pity party exclaiming your boyfriend used her. She's crying wolf..I call bullshit on that one. And by him asking you if your friend who he cheated on you with, he even openly admitted it was going to be there. Plus she's still your friend after that?
DUMP them both because they are sneaking around behind your back. You already look like a fool for taking them both back, now make it right and cut this drama from your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): i no this is harsh hunny but there is a saying tht my mother used to tell me when i was crying over boys in my teens. "when ur young, boyfrineds come and go but friendships r forever' i no this isn true in all cases but if i were u i wud ditch the pare of them and show them that ur nobodys fool. Nobody deserves to be cheated on expeshally by their boy/girl friend and their best friend. Dont let them do it to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): BF is a guy having fun. Can't trust guys anyway. If you really like him, and he sounds sincere about being sorry, you have to decide what's best for you. Guys screw sometimes because they're drunk and horny, and if they find someone who can obliged them for 20 minutes, all the better. (Women: before you ruin your reputation and self- esteem, know this. At least make him buy you a steak!! LOL) Men and women have sex for different reasons, different drives. Your friend's actions are, in my view, more shameful. Everyone at that party will remember that she's a hoe. Double standard? Oh, yeah, you bet there is. Most women don't do this, and most men want to do this (i.e., cheap, dirty sex.) That's why they say the guy "scores." And the women is a... Good luck.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (25 October 2010):
 She was your friend and he was your boyfriend in my book neither deserves to be forgiven because they both betrayed you, and if you already decided to forgive your boyfriend than forgive her too since they both committed the same crime.
I would talk to her and ask her if he is still pursing her, many times a guy who already had a girl thinks he can get her anytime. He doesn't seem like a trust worthy kind of guy in hooking up with your friend, so I don't doubt there is more to this story.
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