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Who am I? I want to be bisexual as I think I like girls more than boys now. Hardly anyone I know is bisexual

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends, Gay relationships, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 May 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 14 June 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, *ophie6969 writes:

I have been out with loads of boys but I kissed a girl and I think I like girls now.

I want to be bisexual, but don't know what people would think and well it's harder to get a good relationship because hardly anyone I know is bisexual or gay.

What should I do? Who am I?

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A female reader, Coolcat2244 Ireland +, writes (14 June 2017):

Hey i know how u feel i went throught the same thing but trust me you dont need to know what u are just do u date girls and guys if u want and if someone ask if you are bi or gay just say honey it is none of your buiness all that matters is that your happy with you dating life

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntWhy do you need a label? You would like to be bisexual? Why? Just be you, the person that you are, if you are attracted to a guy then great, if you are attracted to a girl then great. That is nobodies business but your own so you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. As you get older you will find yourself more and know your sexuality more.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 May 2017):

Honeypie agony auntOP, we really don't get to CHOOSE out sexuality or whom we are attracted to.

I know for many people the notion of being bi-sexual means they have twice as many options, but that is not really true either.

Most people are not just "insert label" we are all a little bit gay, straight, bit, pan, whatever. But most people have a preference. As in those who see themselves as straight PREFER a partner of the opposite gender etc.

You might BE bi-sexual but preferring gals over guys. You might just not REALLY know as you probably have little experience and YES, I do think experiences MATTERS in this. Right now you might meet a LOT more girls who are on your OWN level of maturity and few guys who are.

I say TRY not to label yourself yet. As far as "who am I"? Well, YOU are YOU. You are NOT just the "sum" of your sexual preference. There is NO DOUBT more to you than whatever label you want to fit.

So get to figure "YOU" out as a whole, not just your sexual orientation.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (29 May 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYou're too immature to make this decision. It's not a bad thing; many your age are still unsure/curious. Some people your age just know they are straight/gay/bi/asexual/etc., but you can't say "I've dated loads of boys and kissed one girl - I want to be bisexual" and expect a label to fit you.

You don't need a relationship, right now. If you've "dated" loads of boys, you need a break from dating.

The best relationships happen on their own. They aren't searched for, obsessed about, forced or a "band aid" for loneliness. The more you prioritise a relationship, the more muddled you'll be.

Give it time and don't try to label yourself.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (29 May 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYou are YOU. You are 16/17. There is absolutely no need to label yourself as straight, gay, bisexual or anything else.

Relax and see who comes along that you like. Just because you kissed a girl and enjoyed it, does not necessarily mean you are "into" girls. It is probably more likely that you are curious about what it would be like to be with a girl.

Ultimately it is the PERSON we are attracted to, not their gender. A gay female friend of mine told me, when explaining why she preferred women to men, that it wasn't that she DISLIKED men, just that she could not invest emotionally in them like she could in women.

Stop worrying about sticking a label on yourself and just enjoy whatever comes along. One day you will meet someone (male OR female) who you will want to be with long term. That is all that counts.

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