A
female
age
30-35,
*omb2348
writes:Okay im 16 for the record. So I met this guy Chris online in july. after meeting him, we totally fell for each other :) i'd do anything for him. so for the first time, he got me to send him underwear pics. and then eventually i also sent him a topless pic of me..my ex, jake, that always seems to like me whenever we talk to each other, saw an underwear pic of me on my phone for a brief second and was begging for me to send it to him. i havent liked him since last summer. he asked a chick out later that day so i didnt send him the pic. he didnt care.it got to the point where i had talked dirty to chris a couple times while he jacked off. and i wrote a sexual fantasy story for him. then we kinda stopped talking after a while.. i had talked to a couple guys after that. nothing serious or anything. i sent an underwear pic to a guy that liked me. i wanted to like him back but couldnt get myself to. my feelings changed for him and we stopped talking :/and then i started talking to this guy ethan (: in january, whom i still like btw. 4 months now. hes the type of guy that loves to ask dirty questions. which i had only done once before with this guy clark on the phone like a year and a half ago maybe.. well, i ended up liking him and told him, but he told me he doesnt like me in the datable way. just the "bangable" way. so we talked dirty to each other alot and eventually got to the point where i was telling him how much i wanna eff him, when i had never even made out with a guy before.. and then it got to the point where he wanted to do me more than i wanted to do him. im nervous about having sex for the first time. i dont really want to do it with a guy im not even dating.. :( [hes a virgin btw]well, i gave him a pic of me in a tank top and miniskirt and he showed his best friend. they both told this guy i used to like (which is their best friend too), sean, that i have a great body. he texted me and was hitting on me. which he didnt do before he knew about my "great body". but i love attention so i wanted to see what hed say about my body. cause he told me to prove i have a great body, but i dont have to. so i sent him a couple miniskirt pics and a couple underwear pics. which i had given to ethan. he said i do have a great body and that we should have a "secret night" one day. and that it would be "one crazy night" which made me feel like a fucking slut. i mean, it was with the guy i like's best friend.well, ethan gave me his camera for the weekend a while back and i took 25 provacative pix. many of which, i was completely naked. but you cant really make out my.. 'private'. he doesnt know i dont want to have sex with him.. im afraid he'll stop liking me if he finds out..remember that ex, jake i was telling you about? well, he has a gf right now, but he likes me right now. i think he expects me to cheat with him on his gf. i really really dont like his gf. but im not really interested in jake like that either. i just like to flirt.....i dont know what else there is to say... i feel like ive gone down the wrong path, where all im interested in is physical stuff.. i WANT an emotional AND physical relationship, but guys seem to only be interested in my body.. i dont think im going to meet anyone new that ill like, so its not like "waiting for the right guy" is an option.. and i really like ethan so i dont want to "move on" from him..criticize me in everything you see ive dont wrong. i really want to know what you think. i want to know what i should have done differently or how i should react in the future and things like that. am i a bad person? or just a person that has made bad mistakes?
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best friend, flirt, text, underwear Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bomb2348 +, writes (26 May 2010):
bomb2348 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello everyone! Thank you SO much for your replies. they have really been an eye opener, and i will take your advice. i will:
-move slow with ethan.
-and just move ON if ethan doesn't want to move slow. because he's obviously not worth it if he doesn't care about how i feel.
-stop sending pics and talking dirty to guys.
-wait until i have a steady relationship before doing anything like that again.
-show guys who i am. not what i really look like.
because your right. a guy will only want my body if i just let it out there to be seen.
and a special shout out to "Fatherly Advice" wow. thats what i call criticism aha. thanks. yeah that would suck if that happened.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 May 2010):
 First off, STOP sending pictures of yourself in your undies or naked to ANYONE! You just don't know where they an end up at.
Secondly, take your time getting to know a person before getting intimate with them. I don't mean chat on the Internet, text, IM... I mean in REAL life, in PERSON. Or you will end up with guys who will bang you when they can't get someone "better".
Have some self respect girl! You want a guy who will like YOU for YOU, so take the time to let them get to know you, as a person, not as a doormat.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010): First thing to say is... don't give out pictures of yourself that easily... not even in your underwear. It might be fun and/or kinky to do.. but most guys, specially of your age pass them around. And once you give someone a pic of yourself, or they get it from someone else... then you stop being a person and become an object.
its sad... but true :/
Wait with giving pictures until you have a steady relationship, and I don't mean when you are 16,17 or even 18!!.. I mean when you have a decent relationship of at least 2 years and you have an age of at least 18. Even than it is a risk but at least it is smaller then before. Also see how the guy acts with other guys and towards other girls. If he acts immature or talks sexual to them then watch out.
For now, I think its best to try and put it all behind you... ask people who you trust to delete the pictures(they probably won't but the ones who are true friends will) and Be honest to the people about your own feelings. You might loose contacts, but you won't loose friends!
Friends will stay, don't forget that. And real relationships need to grow. You might like or dislike someone. And they might make you feel good(in a loving way) or horney. But that doesn't mean they are the right person.
Sadly that is something you will only learn when getting older. We all were your age at once and none of us believed older people when they told us. But its true... most people of your age don't have a steady enough relationship to go so far. Just enjoy your youth but try to know your limits.
I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 I dont think you are a bad person but i do think these guys are taking advantage of you. And you dont want to get yourself a bad name. So just delete any wrong pictures and dont do anymore. You cant even know where the pictures will end up. In a couple of years they could reappear somewhere when you dont want them to and it could really embarrass you.
So just take things slowly with the guy you do like and make sure he respects you properly. And dont let any guys talk you into sex stuff or sending pictures anymore, because they really are just using you. They probably arent very nice about you you behind your back either. They just say nice things to your face so you will do what they want. If you quit it all now, you will start to feel better about yourself after awhile x
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (25 May 2010):
 We have a saying that explains why you aren't attracting quality guys.
If you hang out the meat you will attract the dogs.
Now what you have done that is wrong and quite dangerous is: You have produced and distributed child pornography in the United States. You apparently don't understand that being in possession of a picture of you naked is a felony. So if your little friends have put your pictures on their parents computers, their parents could end up in jail. Nice thought isn't it. All of this because you enjoy attention.
FA
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Ethan has already told you what he thinks of you; you're good enough to bang, but not to date, so you need to move past him.
They're only interested in your body because that's all you present to them. The only thing I can suggest is that you become more selective about who you "like" and stop sending provocative photos of yourself and talking dirty to guys to make them like you. It's not working. You're giving them the impression that you're easy, and no man takes a woman who is easy too seriously.
If you want someone to like you for more than your body, show them that you are more than tits and ass. Don't cheapen yourself or lower your worth by making yourself nothing more than a sex object. Get a handle on this now so you don't wind up used and abused by these guys.
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