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Everyone hates me, Please help me.

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 May 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 26 May 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Everyone hates me.

I hate my school because everyone really hates me.

I only have 2 friends that i can be with.

But I'm bullied, teased at and I'm always being hurt emotionally and physically. No one really cares about me and I my parents said i can't go to another school because there are no other schools to study.

I wish i can go homeschooling but i don't think my parents are going to like that idea.

I lost my best friend and they keep calling me mean things whenever i got to school.

They affected my life already.

School is important for me, but i can't deal with school because of all the bullies!!

There's this girl who i really hate and she use to be my best friend, she trashed talk about me and ruined my reputation.

HELP ME PLEASE!

View related questions: best friend, bullied

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010):

I know how you feel. I was in a similar position when I was at school. I'm 19 now and left 3 years ago, but the thought of being there still makes me shudder.

I used to try and wear things to blend in, never stood up for myself, and I never hung around with other bullied kids in case it got even worse. I had one friend. Then one day when I was about 14 I got so incredibly angry, and realised nothing I did would get them to like me, and anyway they were all so horrible I didn't really want to be friends with them. I started wearing whatever I liked, really weird stuff, and hung around with a fellow bullied girl, who is still my closest friend. Whenever someone said anything remotely offensive to me I would completely let rip, tell them to eff off and throw the nearest heavy object at them. Although it obviously didn't stop people saying stuff but it had become almost fun to be uncool. Out little group of misfits expanded and there was a real 'us against them' feeling! My last two years of school (I left at 16) were the best high school years. I did whatever I liked, was pleasant to everyone until they said/did something horrible.

Now I'm not saying this would work for everyone. I could kinda get away with it because I was a small girl.

What I'm trying to say is, thing will not change over night. But although it is a bit of a hurdle to get over, realising that actually you don't want to be friends with the people who hate you is a huge start. I'm sure there are some fellow misfits at your school, and I'm sure some are friend-material!

Anyway, it won't last forever. I used to be washed-out, very spotty with braces and very shy. I thought no-one would ever like me. Since leaving school I have made lots of friends, I have a gorgeous boyfriend and I don't mind what I see in the mirror.

Good Luck, I know it is horrible :(

xxx

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A female reader, banditsmom1124 United States +, writes (25 May 2010):

banditsmom1124 agony aunti grew up a fat ugly cow w/very few friends. ppl always treated me like crap...oh and im disabled also. i finally had enuf and did a total change to myself--i lost weight and gave myself a make over. its amazing how much a new look changes peoples perspective! oh and like others have said walk around like ur as confident as hell even tho you arent lol.

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A female reader, Carrot2000 United States +, writes (25 May 2010):

Carrot2000 agony auntI think adults often downplay the severity of bullying and expect kids to "brush it off" when it's really a serious matter. It's not okay for you to be hurt physically and emotionally, and the adults in your life (parents and school administrators) owe it to you to offer you a safe environment. Have you spoken to a guidance counselor about your options? If you're not getting the help you need from your school, go higher in the administration and contact the school board if necessary. Schools are being sued over bullying, so it is in their best interests to take your concerns seriously.

Sweetie, you have two good friends, so everyone doesn't hate you! The more you feel down about yourself, the more you make yourself a target. Bullies pick on people they feel are weaker than they are, so it's important that you stay positive and don't let them beat you down emotionally. Walk around confidently, even if you don't feel confident, because that takes away the bully's power. From a bully's perspective, it's hard to pick on someone who doesn't give a damn about you or what you're saying to them.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (25 May 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntSounds like you need some help in dealing with social situations. Running away from school is not likely the right answer.

On the other hand for high school students in my state there is always the option of a Virtual Academy, or an online high school. You should look into what is available where you live. My Daughter and I looked into it when her grades started to slip. She decided against it, because she wanted to pursue more music.

There is more to school than grades.

FA

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A female reader, Myrrh United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2010):

Myrrh agony auntAsk your parents about home education and explain to them how seriously this is affecting you.

If you dont feel that you can talk to them about it face to face, then write down EXACTLY how you feel in a letter and give one copy to your mum and one to your dad.

You must say something though or they wont know how strongly you feel about school and being bullied. After youve spoken to them or given them your letter, if they dont seem able to understand or help you, ask if you could stay with any relatives out of your immediate area, so you can attend a different school. Just dont put up with being unhappy because if you ask enough people, someone will listen and help you. Right now you feel stuck in a rut and unhappy but just speak up for yourself and things will change x

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A female reader, Floid United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2010):

I am a difficult friend, always say or do the wrong thing my husband says! And school wasn't much better. I know how hard it can be to fit in. I think you have to try and remember that it's not always good to let others see how they are getting you down, sometimes it's better to ignore and move on. If you have two friends then that is actually great, you have two friends! Try to concentrate on enjoying their friendship and not the destructive influences of others. It seems impossible I know, but in situations like yours people do actually get bored of teasing and bullying if they see you are not interested. That doesn't mean it will all instantly go away, but it does mean they will become less important to you. Talk to your parents about this approach, instead of moving schools, take control, try to feel good about yourself, make the most of who you are and the friends you have. A person who is confident in their own skin always attracts more friends and you sound like a nice person to me, I'd be willing to bet you have a lot more to offer as a friend than those who are doing the teasing. Show them how boring they and their comments have become, yawn in their prescence, hold your head high and walk away. The loneliness you feel now will not last, so be on the lookout and ready to accept change when it comes, not shying away because your hurt.

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A female reader, cindy 15 United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2010):

cindy 15 agony aunthead up not every one hates you its not you its THEM!!!

teachers can help you your parents are ALWAYS there to listen and so am i and all the other on this site!

!!!you are not alone!!!

when i was a kid i was bullied but i made throgh that pain and so will you!!!!!!!!

chin up

its not you its them

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (25 May 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntExactly how old are you? The answers will vary based on that.

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A female reader, straight to the truth United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2010):

you need to remember that you wont be at school for your whole life and looking at your age you wont have left to go before you graduate anyway.

Bullies are horrible people and I know how you feel but on the brightside when you do leave school you will fid everyone very different when you go to work or to college.

I was lucky that my parents let me change schools but if that is not possible then I think you should just keep you head down do your school work and try to avoid the people who bully you.

I am from england so the school bullies I think are a lot different where I am from as I hear in America you are at risk from being stabbed etc which is why I would say dont stand up to them. but where i am the most you get is into a fight so if i punched back they would leave me a lone because they knew they could just pick on someone else and not get a black eye in return.

keep your head down, avoid them all and maybe just resign your self to the fact that school is not where you will be making your friends.

to be honest i left school 10 years ago and I am only in touch with 1 person i met at school, all of my other friends are people i met through work, in a much more mature environment.

I wish you all the best and I hope you get through this ok.

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