A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is my bf doing this??? How am I meant to trust him?? Me and my bf have been together for 8 months and spend most of our time together I have always had this feeling that h was still in love with his ex... i found a message sayin he still missed her which was sent a few months into our relationship... We ended up eventually having a big disagreement over it as i found text on his phone to her, valentines day morning, where he was asking her why she chose the other guy over him, when they were going halfs in a hotel room and other things. I lost it we ended up sorting it out though... he said him n his mate were just tryin to stir her up and she was the one who texted him. Of course we sorted things out and got back together i made him delete her off facebook. I randomly figured out his facebook password this afternoon and found a message on there between them talking about how he wanted her to answer her phone coz he hates rude ppl and that he was working at a particular place on tuesday. What do I do??? =( Ive just sent him a message asking if he still hears from her. He said not much why? I asked him if i had anything to be worried about and he said no u dont why r u asking me this? What do i do??? =((( Why does he still feel the need to contact her. This is not the only ex he keeps in contact with. Additional DetailsThis is the messages between them over facebook which were sent last week. From Her cant believe you blocked me! . My Boy friendMarch 24 at 9:37pm only because jess went off she still goes through my phone and everything i cought her this week lol what u up to do u reakion the pig will catch ip with uim working at **** next tuesday again ill give u a call tommorow and u better ****** answer or call me back i hate rude people He is obviously the one trying to contact her. He isnt trying to contact her all the time and he is alot better now. But he still doesnt seem to understand why I got so upset about it and why he should feel bad for it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes we are exclusive. Were in a relationship together on facebook and practically live together. I got upset about it he knows how I feel about it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): If you've been together for eight months and spend most of your time together I think it's a safe bet that both parties consider it exclusive. When most couples break up, they just want to be rid of each other. They have no desire to 'stir' the other up or to involve their friends in these types of games. On top of being immature, it seems your boyfriend has unfinished business with his ex and he's prepared to go behind your back to keep in touch with her. For that reason you can't trust him.More talks won't help. You've already told him what you think of all this and how it makes you feel. He's chosen to dismiss your concerns and maintain contact with his ex. What more is there to discuss?Breaking into someone's email account and snooping about is not only illegal but detestable in my opinion. However you can't carry on as if nothing has happened. The longer you stay with him and accept the unacceptable, the greater your self esteem with suffer. My advice is to break up with him, via email. Doing it in person or over the phone just gives him a chance to try and talk you out of it. Be brief, honest and as diginified as you can be. It will hurt now, but you'll heal and you'll be that much wiser. And the sooner you do it the less jaded you'll be for that decent guy you're bound to meet.
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A
male
reader, SkyDroid  +, writes (3 April 2011):
 He's obviously hung up on her. Does he see your relationship with him as exclusive? That might be why he doesn't understand why you're upset.
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