A
female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:My boyfriend sometimes makes jokes that I should get pregnant. Eg rub my stomach or put his ear to my stomach. Even though I'm not pregnant. He also days things like " if you got pregnant then I'll have to take this new job. I'll support you no matter what". But then he takes one step further and often suggests it's ok not to use protection. He put pressure me not too. What to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, meccamega +, writes (14 March 2013):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe says things like "I'll support you no matter what". "I want to marry you". " I want to be with forever", " I want to be in this for the long haul" etc etc. I'm not going to take Any chances. And I usually over analyze things too much anyway. My main problem right now is getting more steady work. If I have a kid put of wedlock, I might get disowned by my family.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 Tell him you have as much chance of getting pregnant as he does.
with all due respect I disagree totally with Cerberus on this one...
Why are you not on birth control pills or other regular hormonal birth control? why is not using protection even a question or option?
tell him... NO baby till we get married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): Do what my fiancée calls the 'reflective switch'. How that works is when he brings up something turn it back around using the same thing every time.
In your circumstance I'd use weight. Doesn't matter how skinny you are it will work. He puts his ear near your stomach "ugh, get away I'm so fat, I hate my stomach" and grab a bit of the skin there. Immediately you've switched the topic into something that reflects back into something he'll be less comfortable with. He talks about being pregnant? "Ugh, I already look pregnant I'm so disgusting" again the switch.
Every time he mentions a child, switch it into talking about being fat, if that doesn't work then just alter it slightly to make it sound like he's calling you fat. It's sneaky but it works pretty well.
"I'm not pregnant so you must be talking about how fat I am" "You keep rubbing my belly because you think I'm fat."
He should quickly learn that any time he mentions pregnancy you're going to take offence that way and he should stop.
I say all this OP because I assume you've already told him to stop and that you're not getting pregnant any time soon. If you haven't then do that first, and resort to the above only if he refuses to stop putting this pressure on you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 March 2013):
 What does he say when you tell him you do NOT want to become pregnant? Have you made that crystal clear to him?
I would let him know that you feel very uncomfortable about his suggestion that it's okay not to use condoms. If he suggests that before you have intercourse, I would stop the sexual intimacy at that moment and make it completely clear to him that if he does not wear a condom, that there will be no sex.
Go to your gynecologist and discuss your contraception options. There are other methods, both barrier and hormonal, that might be options for you.
Make your requirements crystal clear and do not tolerate suggestions that you have sex without protection. You are in charge of your own body, YOU have to be your own best advocate, okay?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 Do YOU want to get pregnant ? no,not yet ? Then let him joke at his heart's content, and keep using protection. In fact, go on the pill right away if you are not on it yet. Then , his pressure will be 99.5% irrelevant ( if you are scrupolous in taking your BC ) .
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 Well it sounds like you are not ready to have children yet, so the simple answer is keep on using protection and if he refuses to use protection, dont have sex with him. Are you taking the contraceptive pill? Only the woman can take the pill so that would mean you are in control of using protection and he cannot influence that.
He cant force you to get pregnant, so keep on using protection and that's the end of it. If you are uncomfortable with him talking about it so much, then tell him that you dont like him talking about pregnancy and you want him to stop. Tell him that one day you will want kids but right now you are not ready and dont want to talk about it anymore.
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