A
male
age
41-50,
*pjake74
writes:First off, I broke up with her like almost 3 1/2 weeks ago. I forced her into a position to get the divorce, but things came out that I didn't know about.At first I was upset about the whole situation, but then I realized that I have alot of growing to do right now, even if I wanted to be with her.A week ago from last Friday she told me that she really wanted to know if I would move with her. She told me she wanted to be with me. The night before that night we had sex, but I really didn't attach emotions to it because of this difficult period she is going through, and on top of it raising kids.She became lost in a sense. Her comfort was taken from her when she asked for the divorce. It wasn't all in my court for her to do so though. She did it all on her own. So, now she has to change her life to suit her newfound freedom and comfort, and I totally understand.I am losing my job due to the economy and am frantically looking to move if I need to to get a new one. I want to get physically fit again. No more slouching. I want to be a healthy soul for someone, even if not her, to be stable enough for a relationship. I do think this really pushed hard on her decisions recently between us too.Well, after I found out some things she couldn't confess, i confronted her angrily and pretty much said to mail my stuff back of mine if she wanted to. I didn't talk to her for a week because I had to sort through my feelings of the whole situation.I went out on a few dates and hung out with friends to keep my mind off missing her. Last Saturday at 2 am she sends me an IM saying only "what", which I didn't respond to. Then this past sunday I sent a text only saying "I do understand if you don't care to hear it but I apologize for what I did on my part for the failure of our relationship. I really do hope everything is good" She responded with a text that said "Don't worry about it and I have something for you". I only responded "OK". It almost left it open as to wanting to return or give me something in person. Why would she want to? I know she feels guilty about what I found out. She even half-heartedly admitted it. It is a secret, but a lie at the same time.My question is, while I am working on my own thing, and she is working as well, do you think she is thinking about me and us? Do you think her trust in me giving up like that is broken? And how upset do you think she is at me, almost enough to hate me?I really don't feel animosity towards her. Yes, I really do love her. I miss her everyday that we cannot talk. She always made me laugh and think. And when we made love, she opened herself up to things with me that she never tried before.Do you think once we are where we want to be we can start out fresh, even as friends? I want to believe in that but it will take two to make it work. If I lose her in our quests, then so be it, but I know she will always make me smile thinking about her.And keep in mind too, when i asked her if we should just say goodbye and close this chapter for now, she will NEVER say it. She will NEVER say let's move on. Nothing. I just wonder so much what life holds, ya know?
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broke up, divorce, move on, period, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, kpjake74 +, writes (1 April 2009):
kpjake74 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe was still married to another man and co-habitate with him. i didn't force her, I just decided that we couldn't be together until she made up her mind about the divorce.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): hi
you "forced her into a position to get a divorce"? from who/from you?? are you both married to each other
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A
female
reader, girlygirl720 +, writes (1 April 2009):
I really don't think any of you want this to be over. I think you guys need to sit down and talk. Not yell but talk. See whats wrong in the relationship and see if there's anything that could possibly be done. If you think that it won't happen again at least you know you tried.
Good Luck!
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