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We expected ground rules. So why has my father changed the rules to be more lenient?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 April 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2012)
A female Ireland age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My best friend is coming over to my house for the 1st time and my parents are letting him stay over.

I was surprised because he is a guy they don't know (they have seen him once or twice and I've talked to them about him, but I know that's not enough). The other thing is that whilst I trust him not to try anything and my parents trust me not to let him anyway, but obviously they don't trust him (which me and my friend completely understand).

I would just appreciate some advice on how to help the situation without making my parents or my best friend feel uncomfortable.

Extra info, don't know if it means anything:

My parents know my best friend is sexually active and I'm not.

Both of my parents know that just the thought of me having sex anytime soon freaks me out.

My friend and I knew he'd have to sleep downstairs and I'd be sleeping in my room and we expected ground rules we wouldn't break, but now my dad says he doesn't want my friend staying downstairs on his own so I have to as well, which my mum feels uncomfortable with but has accepted (sort of).

I haven't got an account so when I reply it won't show up as a followup. Thanks in advance

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntStick to the rules your father gave you and hope he keeps trusting your judgement.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012):

Op? Like original person?

Well that's me if that's what it means.

Thanks for your quick reply. Me and my friend are quite affectionate but we don't play fight or anything. My mum knows how close we are because I haven't hidden it from her, but we won't do anything that I wouldn't mind my parents seeing (like I'll hug him hello&goodbye, but not really anything more than that).

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012):

The only thing I can suggest is you stick to your parents rules. That's it really.

The only other thing I would suggest OP is if you and your friend are very affectionate, like to cuddle or play fight, or just sit really close to each other, then don't do any of that kind of stuff while he's there.

They trust you OP, don't give them any reason to doubt that. Pretend he's one of your uncles for the night and treat him the exact same way as you would if you were spending an evening with and uncle.

The last thing you want is your parents coming into the room and seeing you on top of him wrestling, or him with his arm around you cuddling watching a movie.

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