A
male
age
,
*ikeEa1
writes:I was getting my phone the other night and it turned out to be a long call from my daughter. when I came back to the living room my girlfriend had my friend's shirt off and was giving him a thorough massage. my friend had told me earlier he gets sexually stimulated from massage and usually pays for them. I was a bit miffed. my girlfriend now wont talk to me because I was miffed. what should I do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2013): Well, you should clarify things with your GF first, maybe there are some misunderstandings. Did your girlfriend know that he gets sexually stimulated by massage? Was there anyone else in the room with her? If she didn't know then she's not in the wrong and you getting miffed is not necessary. Communication is the key to solve this issue and don't jump to conclusions; otherwise you will spoil the potentially good relationship you have.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 February 2013):
 I think there is more to this story than posted.....
so he gets off on professional massage... he had his shirt off (not his pants right)
was he sitting up or laying down and was he face up or face down?
couch or bed or massage table?
what is her relationship to him prior to this incident... has she expressed a liking for this man? had he been complaining of a back ache?
did you walk in and say "hey what's going on here?" or did you walk in and call her a whore? (or something in between)
when did your friend tell you he gets aroused from massage (which even without a happy ending or direct genital stimulation getting an erection during a massage is normal)
have you previously talked to her about her inappropriate behavior or is this the first time?
you are no youngster... how old is girl friend? how old is friend she was massaging..
what aren't you sharing with us?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 February 2013):
 That was pretty inappropriate of BOTH of them. Basically he had ALREADY told you that he got OFF on massages and then he ASKED her for one? Not cool at all. That is almost on par as asking her for a handjob (almost)
And her... how well does she know him? And why on Earth did she think it was OK?
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (5 February 2013):
 If she really did this, she is not good partner material. Dump her, find someone better.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 February 2013):
 She's got the gall to be miffed at you? Hah!
You're definitely in the right here. Your girlfriend is not a licensed massage therapist, and even if she were, she wasn't in a professional setting like a spa or a sports therapy situation.
In a living room with a friend and shirtless is beyond inappropriate. If she really did have a righteous leg to stand on, why did they wait until you were out of the room to start this up? Why not pull the shirt off and go to work right in front of you?
No, that fact alone proves that what they were doing was not on the up-and-up. I'd drop her big time not just for the massage, but for the attitude afterwards. It would be one thing if she were to tell you that she was in the wrong, that things just got carried away, and that she was apologizing very profusely to you and promising that such a thing will never happen again, and if you got a similar apology from your friend, then I think that's something you could maybe work with in terms of setting an ironclad and very stern boundary of loyalty, but the fact that *she's* miffed and not speaking to you? Those games get her a cold and lonely ejection from your life.
Don't back down from this one. She is very much in the wrong.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): Did your girlfriend know that your friend gets stimulated from massages? If she didn't know, then her actions are a bit odd but innocent. Given that you were in the house, though, she couldn't have meant to seduce your friend or anything, even if she did know.
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (5 February 2013):
 Hi
Dump her,it was entirely inappropriate. She is no loss and your friend is no friend.They crossed a line.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): If you explained to your GF that this "Friend" gets stimulated from massages then it was inapproriate to give him massage.
However if she she was not aware that fact and is a professional at this job, then you should apologise and explain why you were not impressed.
Some times it comes down to communication.
...............................
|
