A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex was cheating on me. For more details you can go here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-checking-a-partners-internet-activities-a-violation.htmlI have since the break-up been breaking my own rule and checking his Facebook. I already know I shouldn't have, but I have seen that he started dating someone new. Should I send her a warning like:"If you are dating so and so, care should be taken. I know things are going well now, but if you ever have any doubts or suspicions you would be wise to investigate them. You are a beautiful and wonderful woman and deserve the best."I know I would have liked a warning, but the question is, would I have believed it? So should I send this warning to her or not? and if so, should I send it anonymously or not?Thanks so much in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Dont do it - I warned my ex's new girl about him and the fact he was still trying to get me back.. she had all the evidence herself that he is indeed a lieing cheating son of a bitch.. but that didnt stop her from staying with him and even tho i was just trying to help another human being not be sucked into his manipulative ways... it made me look like i was trying to ruin them. She isnt your problem, if she gets cheated on so be it.. I was warned by his previous gf and I didnt listen.. woman just dont listen to the ex.
A
female
reader, cnith +, writes (25 May 2010):
 You say you would have LIKED the warning... but would you have listened to it? Now don't answer so fast... think about it. Would you have listened? Really? I am not sure I would... After all, you're probably the crazy stalker ex gf who can't get on with her life. (new perspective help you?)
You could send a note to her, sure. Say, I just want you to know he cheated on me. I hope he doesn't do it to you. Be careful.
Then drop it and MOVE ON with your life. Why are you still looking up your ex? He's an ex...and a lousy one at that.
Now me, I broke the rules and found two of my exes on facebook. BUT not to stalk them, to say hey, we lost touch. We were friends before we parted. We were friends after. So it's just two friends talking. They are both married and happy. I even friended their wives. I don't talk to them often though, the guys or the wives, but I'm doing it for a different purpose than you. I like friends. I have no ill will towards the exes.
The one guy I DO have ill will for, I never talk to or look up. I rather erase him forever. He, like your ex, was a cheater.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (25 May 2010):
No - let it go and stay out of it... if you warn this one, then there will be another... and another... and then he'd have every right to pursue you for stalking him.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Er,....
No. Don't stalk the man.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 May 2010):
 What's your plan? Just to warn the one girl? Then leave him be? Or could it be that you might continue to stalk him and warn any girl who gets anywhere close to him? Where does this end?
I think you are still very angry at him and are trying to find some mini-revenge to make you feel better.
Let it go. You'll feel better. Let it go. Stop the obsessing over his Facebook page. You're only prolonging your own hurt and anger here.
This isn't a healthy tack to take for you.
Let it go.
If you haven't reached closure on the relationship, work yourself into a fit of rage, tear everything up that reminds you of him, find a fireplace somewhere and burn it all up. Watch break up movies for an entire evening, play all the sad break up songs you can find. WALLOW in your hurt, anger and self-pity.
Then, when you're exhausted from that, resolve that you will let it go. Let the toxic feelings float out of you and up the chimney with the burning reminders.
Let it go.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (25 May 2010):
 They are right. Also, if you are the "crazy ex" then you'll generate sympathy for him. I don't think you want to do that. Stay out of it. Let her make her own mistakes. Unless she is a close friend of yours, don't concern yourself with such things.
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A
female
reader, Zanie +, writes (25 May 2010):
 The truth is...she wont listen to you anyway. New love has blinders. Plus your the evil ex in her eyes, she would ever believe you.
The truth is, if you are still looking at his facebook and so concerned about his relationships...then you aren't over him yourself! You need to just back off and give yourself the time to get over him. Even if he cheated...you still must've had some feeling there to begin with. It hurts being treated like that! You may even feel as though you need to get revenge, however, revenge is wasted energy. Why waste your energy on someone who has treated you so badly? Why not put the energy into your new beginning without his cheating behind!
Many blessings! Good Luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 May 2010):
Really don't do it. You just need to get away from this guy at all costs to be honest. You're being dragged back into his little world again, and you don't want to come across as some vengeful, obsessed ex or something. It's time to move on and just get away from him.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Don't do it. First, it means you are still being sucked into his world and you'll be better off not doing it. Second, girls don't want to hear that. He's obviously a sweet talker and good at playing the game. You'll just be viewed as they psycho ex-girlfriend who won't leave him alone.
Just let it go and move on with your life. Delete him from your Facebook friends and pretend he doesn't exist. Otherwise, he will consume your life.
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