A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 Those who set traps for others will themself fall into it.
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 No it is totally unacceptable. Laura how would you like it if your partner hit you ???/ Are you gonna stand there and take it???? Yeah right whatever!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Light  +, writes (26 April 2008):
 Do you and your husband have any children?If so does he do this infront of them.I am against any man/women being physically abusive, it should never lead to that in a marriage.However you can take control of the situation, just leave the housee when you start to see the same pattern asrising again, or go and stay with you family or friends and do not contact him for a month, see how he reacts to it...The reason also why he does it is because he wants to control you and feel like he is in charge.Let him know that he does not have control over you by leaving, and just leave to your parents not telling him where you are because he won't expect that at all....That would make a change to things....Anyway hun, stay positive their is always light at the end of the tunnel.Let us know with your progress.Wishing you all the best xoxox
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (26 April 2008):
You are in an emotionally and abusive relationship.
He slapped you because he could not hold back or control his
anger anymore .He has a rage which he could not control.
You should leave or stop the argument before that point.
Your husband is an abusive man and he is using psychological battering with physical violence.
He is using fear, humiliations and verbal assault to control and manipulate you.
What are your options?
1)Be a martyr and absorb everything.
2) Work on your relationship , set out your limits and boundaries.
3)Go for marriage guidance.
4) Leave.
Think about it and choose the right options.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): reply to my original post:
We have been fighting more frequent over minor things. He picks a fight at times, and then says that I have caused it. During the argument(s) he swears at me words that I would dare to say to anyone I care. For example, F-off, f-you, b-ch, c-nt, stupid, whore, ugly and more. He says that I should be clinically checked out because im apparently very stupid and psychotic. He shows both middle fingers at me with rage, and this makes me feel disrespected by him.
Besides that, he is bringing up my family and saying very negatives about them for which I believe they have done nothing wrong to him just only accepted him as a Son-in-law as any other family would.
He's been more in pissing mode, like, when I called him at work he just rejected my call so I txt him but no reply back. He says he was busy, but Ive seen him online on msn. This has been happening for the 2 past days on which he just claims he is so busy to pick up a call or even txt. He acted this way months ago and all of a sudden became more attentive and now is back to that angry person.
When i ask him a question(s) it seems like he is very annoyed by me but when he asks and I must answer. He acts like a child, is very moddy, and evasive. He's been throwing off his wedding band, and at times he has thrown it hard at me. I heard too many threats of divorce, that I asked him if he really wants it or not. Once he cools down, he says he doesnt want that to happen. I asked him then to stop with these threats but they happen again.
During one of those fights, he has slapped me in the face and thats why I have asked this question. I feel that he wants control and wants to maniupulate me.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 April 2008):
Whether I accept or don't accept domestic violence, it will be there.
I will not be like an ostrich and keep my head under the sand.
Yeah! I can rant about domestic violence but will domestic violence stop?
You can be holistic and say whatever you want but one day you will know the truth.
Some day you will learn that words are only words.
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A
male
reader, Ares +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Laurin,
It is sad that you are so willing to accept domestic violence in any form. I hope for the sake of all women out there that you are in a minority of one.
For the record I have a lovely woman that I would never raise a hand to regardless of whether she "pushed my ballistic button".
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 April 2008):
Domestic violence is here to stay whether you like it or not.
It may not happen in your world but it could be in others.
This is not a perfect world like Heaven where there is no strife.
It would be better to understand and learn what caused them
to react that way rather than to sweep the whole thing under a high moral judgment.
Some day you may become a victim if you are not wise or
watch out for those breaking point signs.
Not everyone of us are saints or angels.
Some of them are devils in disguise.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 April 2008):
Not all men are the same.
Different men react differently .
Some people have very short fuse , while others have very long fuse.
You need to know where not to press his ballistic buttons.
Be wise, if you know there are vipers in the snake pit, you
don't put your hand inside and expect not to be bitten.
There is no justification like all the aunts here said.
Your marriage is like a mine field.
So step carefully and I wish you all the luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): Never
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 April 2008):
Yes! We can all stand on the high pedestal and pass your
moral judgments on this issue without understanding those
factors that caused them to hit out at their partners.
You don't want to know or learn why or what caused them to hit out .
No one likes to be the perpetrator or a victim but if
certain conditions are fulfilled and you are not aware of it
, then you could be either the perpetrator or the victim.
This is just my personal opinions only.
You are entitled to think anyway you want.
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A
female
reader, Wisdom +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Yes I think I am with Aeval and all the others on this one... hitting / slapping a spouse is not acceptable even if it is a massive arguement. Female or male. Breaking limites ect.... just really not on!
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A
female
reader, Aeval +, writes (24 April 2008):
 The question was "Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable".
I was not answering the worlds problems just this one......and the simple answer is under no circumstance, regardless of law is it acceptable for people to hit others.
Yes there are bad things happening in most countries, There are some countries that domestic violence is accepted. This to me is crazy.
But again I am not going to try and answer the worlds problems, Just this one under no circumstance is it ok to hit your wife in an arguement. (Just a point..this post was not asking if she was being hit by an attacker would it be ok to hit back) she was asking if her husband slaps his wife in the face is it ok and the simple answer is NO.
To make excuses for it is really just not ok. It is a problem world over and the longer we say there are reasons for it and that those reasons justify the violence then the longer we are going to have domestic violence (agianst both men and women)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): it is never ok for a spouse to slap the other, no matter if it is male or female. Why does it seem to be ok for a wife to slap her husband but if he slaps her it isnt justifiable. If you are angry with each other walk away until you can speak civilly, never hit. NOOOO
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 April 2008):
Sure it is easy to say 'Never ' to hit another person.
Maybe, you can be like God and even under extreme
provocations ,insults ,abused and challenged ; you can still smile and like it is nothing.
Maybe, you have never experienced those conditions when you
are face to face with an extremely , provocative and abusive person yet.
Walking away from it is the best option because you have no
choice if the other person is built like a King Kong.
Talk is cheap.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 April 2008):
I do not condone slapping but just stating the facts that it
happens wherever you are, civilized or uncivilized or barbarian nation.
Lots of crimes even more heinous can happen in those so called civilized nations.
Whether you are in a civilized nation like yours or not , this incident happens .
You may have those laws but do people fear those laws?
Otherwise, this question will not be posted here.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 April 2008):
You can make all kinds of laws by your govt. but it does not
negate the fact , that a man is only human.
A slap is not as worse as a punch in the face or eye when the other person is a male.
Yeah! There are laws but you cannot prevent people from breaking the law.
There are women who slapped their male partners too and it is not the women who are the only victims.
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A
female
reader, Aeval +, writes (23 April 2008):
wow this terrifies me, maybe in Malaysia it's ok for a husband to slap his wife if she "pushes his limits" but it's not ok in Australia, US, UK or any other civilised country!Back to the problem........ NEVER EVER is it ok to hit a person.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 April 2008):
Belittling him and insulting him and his family and when he
asked or warned you to stop but you continue with your tirade against him.
You went past his tolerance limits and he slapped you for breaking his limits.
No man wants to slap his wife but sometimes , the woman has
gone too far and it need a slap to break her out of that
vicious cycle of insults and abuse.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): I agree - it's NEVER alright.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Easy answer. Never
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): HELL YES!
1. Spitting in his face
2. Slapping him first
3. Saying something about a dear loved one, ex: Your mother is a fat bitch, your son is trifling....ex
4. Saying I never loved your ass anyway
5. I slept with your best friend
6. Saying I was born a man and had a operation that made me a woman....NAW! That one would get you killed
Anyway.....I don't hit women, but do understand the need and desire to hit a woman at times....
My personal motto is this...If I ever feel the need to hit you....then I don't want you....and I would leave...forever!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Well I would say that you obviously have asked for it: just be grateful it wasn't a knuckle sandwich. Behave yourself in future!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): If one slaps the other, the other can slap back.
When one of the spouse's needs to be revived; passed out, but gentle slaps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): it is never alright and noone should ever try to justify it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Nothing makes that behaviour acceptable- do not stand for it you need a serious chat with your husband
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (22 April 2008):
 It's not. The only time I would ever accept it is if the other person hit first - and even then i find the actin disgusting.
Just as husbands should never slap their wives (or hit in any manner of physical violence) a wife should never hurt their husbands.
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A
male
reader, rproctor +, writes (22 April 2008):
Really, its not...
But... I could understand if you killed his dog or something...
If you hit him first or something...
Everyone is different, I could not imagine laying my hands on my gf... However, if she hit my dog with a bat in the head I could picture myself reaching over and giving her a good smack! I use the dog as an example, but... If you spilled the milk and he popped you, you should get out. If he is regularly mad and aggressive you should get out. If he has a history of violence you should get out. If you feel threatened you should get out.
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